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*ariety agony aunt

*ariety

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*ariety's profile:

Hey everyone!

What qualifies me to help people?...Well first of all I care, something which I think is very important. And I take the time to carfully think about any answers I give to questions.

I am currently in a relationship after many years of singledom and so I think I can look at answers from both persepectives. And I have done the whole 'I love him but he doesn't notice me' thing.

I am currently a student and I think moving to the other end of the country and into the 'real world' is really changing my view of things. I think I have now reached a level of maturity to be objective and helpful when answering questions; something that I hope will only improve as time goes on!

Feel free to message me if you want to talk privately xxx

< Prev1234Next > [4 pages, 113 answers]

I go down on her but she won't repay the favour. Contemplating break up!

Q.   im 17 n want my gf to give me head but she won't. How can I persuade her otherwise? I go down on her but she won't repay the offer. and shes done it b4 with her ex and sum random guy when she was drunk and blacked out just that the fact tha...

A.   27 January 2008: Don't go down on her then. That stops the double standards. If her going down on you is that important then it is time to call it a day. x... (read in full...)

What is rape

Q.   i'm only 13 years old and I posted a question about a boy in my class rubbing against me while i was pinned against my locker. do you think he was trying to rape me?...

A.   26 January 2008: Not rape. That would be the wrong word. Rape is when you force someone into having sex against their will. However, he did sexually harrass you/sexually violate you. It is different to rape per se but just as inappropriate and potentially dama... (read in full...)

My best friend has broken my brothers heart twice...and I am sick of being involved.

Q.   ok please help me on this on!! My best friend since pre-school startimg dating my older brother about 4 yrs. ago. Well they broke up a year later and since blood is thicker than water i took my brothers side on the situation needless to say they...

A.   25 January 2008: No she does not sound like a friend. Not because she keeps breaking your brother's heart (although it may come to the point where you do have to choose between them) but because after dumping him she ignored you too. Friends don't do that. x... (read in full...)

Is it a myth that men move on quicker than women??

Q.   Is it true ,that men only leaving the marriage, when he has someone else already in place? AND woman will leave ,even if there is no lover on side ,because they are more independent than man? I heard ,when the woman dies , no man stays alone ma...

A.   25 January 2008: Seems like a load of rubbish to me. Not all men act the same. I imagine it would be different if a man knew his wife was going to die as opposed to it happening suddenly. Also this view that a man needs someone to look after him is only valuable in ... (read in full...)

Please help, I love her as she is.

Q.   My best friend and girlfriend who is 13 yesturday told me that she is bulimic. Only me and another friend no. We swore to secrecy that we wouldnt tell any 1, which is what we are going to do but how do i try and talk her out of this as she is very ...

A.   25 January 2008: Hey, I am 20 and one of my housemates is anorexic. Even at this age we got straight onto her parents when we were worried and tried to get them involved to sort it out. She now has regular check-ups etc etc. I don't know if they are working but we k... (read in full...)

I hate hearing Mum and her new man, have sex. Should I talk to her?

Q.   My mum just divorced and found a new man. He often comes to our place and stays late at night. I could hear them making love while I am asleep in my bed room. I really don't like the noise but dont know what to do. Should I talk to my mum? ...

A.   23 January 2008: Make sure she knows you don't have a problem with her having a new man. It is just the sex noises you don't appreciate. Otherwise she might dismiss you for just being upset he is not your dad. x... (read in full...)

Should I wait the 2 months for her to leave her current bf?

Q.   hi i been liking a girl for 2 months now she says she loves me back but she has a bf says she will leave him for me after 2 months if i wait for her i said i would but the problem is i cant wait because of past experiences she wont leave hi...

A.   22 January 2008: If she was going to leave him she would do it now. Draw back from her a bit and tell her to get in contact when she finishes the relationship and if you are single and interested you will decide where to go from there. I think she is rather e... (read in full...)

Bf is due back and I gained weight! I'm nervous as to hoow he'll react..any advice!

Q.   My bf of 2 years has been away for over a month with work He is back this week but im nervous as iv put on weight over the holiday period and feel podgy He is really into keep fit and im sure he will notice I also feel down about it but am working ...

A.   21 January 2008: Well he should see you are making an effort to lose it. Anyone can put on a bit of excess weight over Christmas. It is not a big deal at all. If he doesn't like it then that's his problem. Only lose the weight if you feel you would be happier that ... (read in full...)

Husband tried to cheat with my friend. Do I forgive him and how can I look my friend in the eye again?

Q.   my husband tryed to cheat on me with my best friend we have been married 5 years and have a 2 year old son. my husband and my best friend was drunk she went to bed and woke up next to my husband naked and trying to get it on with her she kicked him ...

A.   21 January 2008: Yes you can be friends with your friend. She did the right thing by saying no to him. She had no party to this at all. Your husband is a rather different matter. You either split up (with all the heartbreak that entails) or you talk about it and t... (read in full...)

I want to ask my friend out on Valentine's day, but I do not think she reciprocates my feelings. What to do?

Q.   I want to ask my friend out on valentines day but I don't know how?!! I will tell her at college. But i dont know how to give it to her alone. Ive likd her for 14 months now. Im crazy over her but she doesnt know and i dont think she likes me. ...

A.   21 January 2008: How good a friend is she? Are you willing to risk her drawing back from you if she doesn't feel the same? More importantly - can you not tell her? Or is it going to come out sometime anyway? Maybe you could say something like "I don't want to be ... (read in full...)

Why does my ex wear my old clothes?

Q.   Hello Out there, just a quick question. My ex left me for someone else 7 months ago and I am over her but during the 7 months I noticed she's been wearing my tops that I no longer wanted. I bumped into her at a bar and she wore my vest. I bumped ...

A.   20 January 2008: Guys clothes are comfortable. I love wearing my boyfriend's. Maybe she doens't care that they are yours she just likes them. I wear an old t shirt of my dad's. It doesn't mean I am pining for him or missing him...I just like the shirt. Stop ... (read in full...)

Advice on sex in hot tub please!

Q.   Hiya abit of an awkward question but me and my wife are going to my sisters soon and she has a hottub thats normally outdorrs but it can be brought indoors which is what they have done in the winter. They have onverted one of the garages into a room ...

A.   20 January 2008: Its safe to have sex in but think of the other guests. If the party is after you have sex then they will be using the hot tub with some of your cum floating about in the water. Nice. If that doesn't bother you then go for it. Just remember that the ... (read in full...)

What to wear for VERY posh dinner??

Q.   My boyfriend is taking me to a very expensive hotel in a couple of weeks. I know it's costing in excess of £200 a night, so my reason for panic is what do I wear? We're eating at the restaurant there, and I don't really have any knowledge of what ...

A.   20 January 2008: Call the restaurant. If you don't want them to remember you then just say you are interested in eating there and ask them what the dress code is. Then dress accordingly. A dress would be a good bet to take. Then you can dress it up with heals and a ... (read in full...)

What can I do about my long-distance gf going cold??

Q.   Hello there, i am in a long distance relationship that is going very very sour. I have fallen in love with a girl i met on holiday we have been going out for about 5 months and i get to see her a couple of times a month due to her work (cabin c...

A.   20 January 2008: This might sound harsh but what if she has feelings for someone else? She has you but long-term is hard...especially if you don't generally get to see her. Maybe there is someone she likes where she lives and you turning up there would have ruined ... (read in full...)

Is it weired to call your Baby, the same name as your EX.

Q.   Hi! I was just wondering-- my boyfriend and I are having a baby boy due this March, and my absolute favorite name that i have picked out just happens to be the name of this guy i used to hook up with... i want that name so bad but it's kind of ...

A.   18 January 2008: Well you're not calling the baby after them so it should be fine. But if everytime you hear the name you will think about your ex then this is probably not appropriate. If not then go for it! x... (read in full...)

First time Brazillian bikini wax..any info tips?

Q.   Ok so i know this isnt really a relationship question but me and my friend are getting our first brizilian bikini wax on friday and i wanted to know if there is anything i should do to make it less painful or something. i also have really sensitive ...

A.   17 January 2008: If you are having a brazilian then yes you will ususally be naked from the waist down - sometimes they give you a paper thong but this doesn't really do anything. And it will grow back in 2-3 weeks. xx... (read in full...)

What colour is cum - clear or white?

Q.   I was giving my boyfriend a blow job and then finished the job with a hand job. He came but the cum was clear but i thought that is was white. Am i wrong?? This was my first time i had seen come so i might be wrong. Please help. ...

A.   17 January 2008: No it can be either colour. x... (read in full...)

How can I get rid of this spot?

Q.   I am thinking of mayb takin it further with my boyfriend. I am ready to have sex but there is one thing that is pulling me back and that is i have a stubble down below. Is there anyway i can get a clean shave with out waxing as i am allergic to the ...

A.   17 January 2008: I wouldn't worry about the spot. It will go away in the same amount of time that other spots do. If you want to remove hair then maybe try a cream such a veet that can be bought for sensitive skin. Just leave it on for 5-10 mins depending on how ... (read in full...)

He says he loves her but spends most of his time with me...does he want me or her??

Q.   Me and my on again off again bf of 8 years are having a baby together. I am currently 7 months pregnant. We got back together officially in the begining he moved in with me. Then when I was 5 months pregnant he broke up with me citing that he was ...

A.   15 January 2008: It seems as if he is playing you both. He gets to live two lives and be two people: an expectant father and a boyfriend to another woman. If you and him have been on and off for 8 years and she and him have already split up and got back together... (read in full...)

I have recently back-to-backed my pill (taken one packet after another without a break) can you still bleed a bit when you do this because I have whilst still taking the pill?

Q.   I have recently back-to-backed my pill (taken one packet after another without a break) can you still bleed a bit when you do this because I have whilst still taking the pill. rxx...

A.   14 January 2008: Yeah you can. I think it might be called spotting. You should mention this to your doctor when you have to get another prescription. Nothing is the matter but there may be a better pill for you. Message me if you want to chat. x... (read in full...)

Should I abort or have this baby?

Q.   help i just found out that i am 2 months pregnant the thing is that it is a result of rape. my family is pushing me to abord it but i dont think i can. i dont know why but something is pushing me to have this baby. i dont know what to do i need some ...

A.   14 January 2008: If you want the baby then you should have it. However you need to think carefully about the emotional impact that caring for this child will have on you. Having children is very difficult and can you promise never in a moment of anger to accuse the ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is smarter, what should I do?

Q.   my girlfriend is smarter then me what should i do...

A.   11 January 2008: Get over it. If you really like her than something like this shouldn't matter. What rule is there that a guy has to be the smarter one in the relationship? If that is the case then all men would be smarter than women lol. If you want to be the smart ... (read in full...)

My fiance can't come through sex, he wants a blow job which I find revolting

Q.   okay. I've been in a relationship of a little over a year now and engaged for a bit of it. But my finance can't cum during sex. he can cum using his hand fine, this bothers me a bit, but I have gotten over it to some extent. I still feel bad for ...

A.   10 January 2008: Maybe try it. Explain you are not that into it and if you want to stop you can. If you do it once and don't like it then you never have to do it again. Some people hate the idea but find it is not as horrible as it might at first seem. But then it ... (read in full...)

I like my best friend's bf...a lot! Should I go after him?

Q.   ok i really like this guy but his girlfriend is like my best friend............and im best friends with him to.............but i really like him... i dont no what to do!!! i dont want to ruin our friendship!!! and he likes me to! and i really rea...

A.   8 January 2008: What if you go after him and he doesn't feel the same. Then you might lose them both. There are some people who are off limits, and friends boyfriends (and recent ex's) fall into that category. xxx... (read in full...)

Underage and having a relationship with a married man! - what do I do?

Q.   Im in a relationship with a married man and i think im falling in love with him. I also really want to sleep with him but im under age by three years.please help and give me some advice on what to do....

A.   6 January 2008: If you were married would you want your husband to be sleeping with a child? I know this sounds harsh but what you are doing is wrong and there is very little chance it will end up ok for you. Back out now before it's too late. It will hurt but your ... (read in full...)

I found out my boyfriend was married! I don't get it, what kind of woman tolerates her husband being gone for days??

Q.   i recently had a relationship with a man who was married. i didn't even know he was married until a year ago. i broke up with him 6 mo. ago because i couldn't rationalize the years of lies...4 to be exact. he would stay with me 3-4 days at a ...

A.   6 January 2008: Well technically you didn't know he was with her either. Surely there were periods of time when you didn't see him because he was with her. I realise dating and marriage are different things but you were going out for years so some sort of ... (read in full...)

Do I risk another year of drama for the chance that she might like me??

Q.   I'm a seventeen year old girl, and I consider myself bisexual, even though I've never actually been in a relationship with another girl. Only my closest friends know about my sexuality. I have to tell a little bit of a backstory to get people to ...

A.   9 December 2007: I wouldn't do anything yet. Maybe socialise with the whole team outside of just doing sport. The you may find out more about her and whether there is a possibility for you two to get together. Message me if you want to chat x... (read in full...)

I have just had a mental blockage and cannot remember what I learned in preparation for the GCSE. Please help.

Q.   i am very seriously worried i have my gcse examinations on mondai i am sudying 15 subjects and i am a higher teir student meanin i expected to get a-C grades i have jus had a mental block i cannot think of anything or remember what i learned ...

A.   7 December 2007: Have a look at some past papers. As soon as you see questions you will start to think of things that you could write for them. Once you realise you haven't forgotten everyhting it will all come back. x... (read in full...)

Am I wierd?

Q.   Okay, well heres the deal.. Im an 18 year old guy.. and I recently made friends with an 13 year old girl.. but theres more to it than that. Basically I saw this girl on MySpace, and it said her age was 19.. she looked abit younger but i thought ...

A.   6 December 2007: Talking to her and being friends with her is not wrong. You seem to be acting maturely in regards to her liking you. You realise nothing can happen between the two of you while she is under 16 and even then people may have objections because of your ... (read in full...)

I love my girl very much but because of my low self asteem I cant resist attention from other girls..help!!

Q.   Ive been with my girlfriend for nearly a year now after chasing her for the previous 2 years. She is my perfect partner, shes beautiful, smart, funny and we have an amazing relationship. My problem is that since we've been together Ive started ...

A.   21 November 2007: Low self esteem is not something you diagnose yourself with. It is not an excuse to treat your girlfriend badly. So what you get attention from other girls? You should be caring about her. Or you'll lose her.... (read in full...)

Seen a girl's profile online, then saw her briefly in person. How should I approach the situation?

Q.   Hi Have a slightly odd question... I'm at university, and once I signed up to the uni dating website kinda for a laugh with some mates, but then checked out the profiles and there was 1 girl i really the profile for. I then saw he...

A.   8 November 2007: Add her on facebook. If you are new to uni everyone is adding everyone so she won't be surprised. Then maybe chat to her via the messaging service there. Slightly less odd than being contacted via a dating site. Although you should remember that she ... (read in full...)

How to get mom's trust.

Q.   How do you get my mum to let my new girlfriend up into my bedroom without being all suspicious of us? even if we just wanna be alone to talk? thnx...

A.   8 November 2007: Say you will leave the door open a little (doesn't have to be the whole way) and she can't have any objection. x... (read in full...)

Worried about pubic hair and a guy's reaction to it. Options to shave?

Q.   I am 16, I was wondering if guys expect you to have no pubic hair?? If they do what are good ways to do this? I have tried to shave but my hair is too thick and it does not work. I do not want to go to a salon or wax it myself? any other option...

A.   8 November 2007: If I were you I would trim it so the hair is not so long and unruly. Also you could use a cream such as nair sensitive hair removal to remove some hair (for example if it sticks out from your underwear). I think a little hair is a good thing ... (read in full...)

I speak to my bf on the phone but I don't want to sound depressed all the time because of the distance. Suggestions to make this easier?

Q.   Hi My boyfriend has been sent away for work for a few months. We have recently just moved in together and I am totally missing him at the moment.. I have this really bad longing for him and he's only been gone a week. We speak to each other all t...

A.   8 November 2007: I just spent the summer away from my boyfriend and I can tell you now that the first few weeks are the worst. You will get used to him being far away and so this will not be such a worry soon. Tell him about the good things that are happenin... (read in full...)

Bar verses Christianity

Q.   Me I'm a Christian, my brother is not saved, I do respect him since he is like our earthly father. We usually spent time together and whenever he goes out to town to drink he makes sure I accompany him. At the bar he takes the beer as I take the ...

A.   30 October 2007: Why on earth shouldn't you be allowed to drink. And I totally disagree with the belief that Christian's can't get drunk. In no way are you disrespecting your god or your beliefs if you drink. It is not a sin to go out and have a good time. Maybe you ... (read in full...)

Would I destroy our friendship if I 'came out' to her?

Q.   i don't know how to ask this so i'll just go on with it. first, i'm a bisexual but the world doesn't know that (yet). second, there's this girl. we've been friends for two years now. to make the story short we "went out" last weekend. (whether it ...

A.   30 October 2007: Maybe come out as bisexual to her first and see what her reation is. Then you can decide how to act futher. When you say you went out with her was it a date type situation or just as friends? x... (read in full...)

Suggestions: What would you do with your ex’s stuff? (in order to let go)

Q.   After asking for answer and help on a few websites. I reach the conclusion that I have to ditch all my ex’s stuff in order to let go. Also, not to mention my father is coming to London to stay with me. I don’t want my dad seeing all the men stuf...

A.   28 October 2007: I would give them back to him. Do it through his friends so you don't have to see him if it would be too painfull. They are technically still his things so he should decide what to do with them. Especially the clothes and the mp3 player. Things he ... (read in full...)

I think I can give her mulitple orgasms, but she seems scared of it

Q.   Hi, I was wondering something about when I'm going down on my girlfriend. She says I've made her orgasm by fingering, and past oral adventures. But she has said with all of them that at one point, she starts to feel tingling all over her body, ...

A.   17 August 2007: The tingling is good. Although if she doesn't want to go any further then this is her choice. Sometimes it can feel like what you are feeling is almost too much if you see what I mean. Maybe someday she will want to try but at the moment one is ... (read in full...)

Can I do anything to stop my periods from being so heavy?

Q.   Sometimes my period is really heavy it hurts like normal but i keep having to change all the time and i just cant be botherd causre ther toilets at school are wrank. Please help because its annoying me having to keep changing all the time....

A.   17 August 2007: Sometimes the pill can be used to reduce how heavy your period is. It will also help with your cramps. Talk to your doctor. I don't think your age should be an issue. There are alternatives to this but this is the method I am most familiar with. You ... (read in full...)

How do I convince Mom and Dad to let me be with my friends?

Q.   hi my name is jemma !! my mum and dad never lets me out with my friends and i am stook in the house nearly all day the only time she lets me out is to go up the shops !! and i get so bored and some times i feel i am not apart in this family b...

A.   6 August 2007: Talk to your parents about it. Say if you went shopping or something with your friends you would text them regularly to let them know you are ok. If you can talk about this rationally and calmly, and more like an adult then they should see you more ... (read in full...)

Do girls enjoy giving oral sex?

Q.   Do girls actually like giving oral sex to guys or what? So many girls seem to have a real issue with it, like feeling subservient or degraded or something. But they don’t have any problem getting it!? What is all this double standards? I...

A.   2 August 2007: Personally I love giving my guy oral sex. I just don't like swallowing lol. I would rather a guy asked if he wanted it. Maybe not in the middle of sex but it is ok to talk about sex outside of the bedroom.... (read in full...)

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