A
male
age
30-35,
*ickg429
writes:I've been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. I know it doesn't seem like a long time but we have been friends for a couple years and with her I feel different then I have with any other girl. So I was out of town recently for my job and she had some time to think and sole search and decided that the day I got back would be a good time to tell me that she slept with an ex a month earlier. We are currently together but haven't seen each other in 5 days, which is killing her and I, but we both needed some time to figure out if we would be able to work through it. She told me that she was willing to, but I'm still not sure. She doesn't seem like she would be the cheating type nor has she ever done it in any past relationships. And, the killer of the cheating is it was with an ex who she told me she cannot stand as a person any more. Her reasoning for doing it was "she uncomfortable with her body in front of me." I let her know day after day how beautiful she is and she truly is. Another kicker is I do nothing but treat her like gold, I have rearranged my work schedule so that we can spend loads of time together, she is short on money and I have told her that the only thing I ever want from her is her love, even her and her friends and family have told me this, so I know that I am not just another guy who thinks he treats his girl wonderful. So, I guess my question to everyone is, is it worth working things out? And, if I do forgive her will she take it as a green light to go ahead and do it again with a lame excuse? I've been reading a lot of articles and talking with people and it is split somewhere in the middle that I should try to work things out or if I should "cut my losses" and find someone who will be loyal and respect me and our relationship.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (7 September 2008):
 You treat her like gold, so she goes cheat with the "bad guys"... Some women love "bad guys" and take advantage from good guys.
If she wants u back, she has to beg you back... You have to be a bad guy too and teach her a lesson and stop treating her like gold, otherwise she'll always be on the lookout for a bad guy to mistreat her. Believe me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): When it comes to getting back with a person after cheating, there's only one rule honey...
If you could ever learn to trust them fully again, then there is something special between you that nobody could describe, so work at it, and the pieces can put back together in the end.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): She has run back to what was familiar because it was easier. Give her another chance but if she does it again, dump her. Trust is so important in a relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 If it wasn't for the pathetic excuse I would be tempted to say she deserves a second chance. Maybe she does, but saying she slept with her ex because she has a poor body image is ridiculous. She needs to give a better answer than that. It demonstrates she is still not being honest with you, how can you continue with her if she is not going to be upfront. It sounds like an uneven relationship anyway. I would be very careful if you decide to continue.
p.s. she slept with her ex boyfriend, I assume she told you he wore a condom, if they didnt when they were going out chances are he wouldnt when he slept with her again.
So you might need to get yourself checked out for STD"s ( who knows who this guy has slept with prior to revisiting your girlfriend )
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): Cheating, lying, stealing... we are built with the knowledge of what is right and what is wrong. Can you trust her word that she has never done it before or that she will never do it again? Poor body image is no excuse for hurting those that care for you. Did her romp fix her issues? If she needs that to feel good (though it ends up making her feel bad, destructive behavior!) do think that you can handle dealing with this again? Maybe she needs to spend sometime fixing herself before you two can more on. Either way you decide, good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Variety  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 She told you even after she had gotten away with it. That has to count for something. Just a thought... x
...............................
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (28 February 2008):
If you ask me based on my experience the earlier you break off the better for you.However,if you feel you love her truly you can go ahead and welcome her back into your life.One lesson you need to learn is that nice guys RARELY win and are usually manipulated by women just like what's happening to you.It's a risk you take taking her back but you eliminate those risks by leaving her.
Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Hi
Well, i guess if you stress to her that if it happens again, you're outta there, it could work. Who knows if she will do it again, who knows if the next person you meet will.
If you dont think you can get past the cheating, its best to cut your losses. Its hard to forgive someone thats lied to you or cheated. Ive always said if someone cheated i would be gone, and i still stand by that. I know im not the most forgiving person, i cant help how i am. There are different levels of 'mistakes' and cheating isnt like buying the wrong washing powder. Its a biggie that i wont tollerate myself. But i always make that clear when i get with someone, and touch wood, ive not been cheated on yet (that i know of anyway!)
Its a pride thing i guess. But also a knowing that there would always be problems after that for me, and who wants a miserable life?
Good luck whatever you chose.
C xxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Do you love her with all your heart, soul and spirit?
If you love her that way , you would not mind if she has slept with one or 100 guys.It makes no difference.
If your love is shallow, then you should just walk away from her.
You should not prejudge her .A person who has been given a new life will know how to treasure her life.
No one is perfect and it is idealistic to think of looking for someone who is loyal or perfect.
Who can predict the future?
We are only human and bound to make mistakes in life.
Who does not make mistakes?
Then he will never grow up!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): the fact that she wanted to tell you having not been caught suggests she feels she made a mistake and wants to be honest in her relationship with you. I would give her a chance and you must put this out of mind if the relationship is going to work.ometimes it takes something like this for some1 to realise how much another means to them. No 2nd chances tho.
...............................
|
