A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I told my girlfriend that we needed a "break" for now, and only for a week and she cryed alot. How will i be able to tell her that i want to break up with her if my feelings dont change during that time?She will be 100 times more upset than she will during this "break". How can i break up with her knowing that she will be devastated? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 It is only your perceptions and your perceptions of her maybe wrong.
She could be stronger than you think.
She could be manipulative and make it difficult for you to leave her.
Women's wiles and the power of tears!
A
female
reader, Variety  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 To be honest she is probably expecting it. Do it to her face and spend as long as she wants with her to answer all her questions. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Breaking up is never an easy thing to do, but if that is the way that you have to go, then be brave and get it over and done with. Never stay with someone because you feel sorry for them, it just wont work out in the long term and you will live to regret it. Get it over and done with cleanly and move on. She will thank you for it in the long run.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, pericles +, writes (3 March 2008):
 I'm glad you had the guts to ask the question! shows you've got good intentions!PLEASE don't do what was done to me just recently and to other women on this forum--the guy who just evaporates. For god's sake, behave like a man, and say goodbye properly. Yes, she will be hurt, but from a woman's perspective, I'd rather be hurt now than be hurt AND hate you later for lying to me and leading me on. Hurt and devastated by the loss leaves me something beautiful to mourn; hurt, devastated and lied to or lead on down the primrose path means I will despise you until I learn to let go of the rage that you cared more for yourself than for me and "smoothed it over" hoping it would hurt less. Be honest with her. And with yourself. Get out of it quickly and leave, but say it to her face; don't dump her online, in a text, or over the phone (unless it's long-distance and you don't have a choice). Every man who has ever left me who said good-bye honorably I have remembered sadly but with fondness. Those who have left dishonorably I have hated and had to work hard not to hate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Sometimes the kindest thing are the hardest.
You cant stay with someone because they may cry. If you dont feel the same way towards her, she has to let you go.
Time is a healer.
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A
female
reader, prettyebonyx1 +, writes (3 March 2008):
Is there any particular reason that you would like to break up with her? What is she doing wrong? Let me tell you about women or most women, we love our men. And most of the time we will try to do anything to make our significant other happy. You have to ask yourself why do you want to leave her and what ever that has you wanted to break up with her, can she change it and you all can make it work. You have to make sure it's what you want and yes she will be very very very depressed from what you're telling us. But with all good there is bad. So you have to let her know the reasons. And please no IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME!! You have to and I mean you really have to be honest about why you're breaking up with her. But let her know that you all can be friends. And continue to call her and when she calls continue to answer your phone and talk with her. But when she starts talking about missing you, you let her know that you miss her also but you all just can't be together. When she calls, please answer the phone because if you don't then it will only make it worse for her. She'll start wondering what you're doing and who you're doing it with, it will run her crazy. And when you're doing something, just be honest, if you're on a date let her know. You're only suppose to be friends now, right? That's why I say whatever the reason for you wanting to leave her, you have to be honest about it. Oh and another thing if you say you're going to call her back, just do as you say. Call her back when you said you would. Then eventually she will understand that you don't want to be with her but you will always be her friend. I hoped I helped a little.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (3 March 2008):
In war, you either kill or be killed.
In love, you either be happy or unhappy.
The choice is yours..
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