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... Send *tar_07 a private message | | | *tar_07's profile:Hi there. I am 26 and currently finishing school and in a relationship. I stumbled upon this site looking for answers to questions I have had in the past. Ever since, I have found it to be a great place for people to ask questions and get feedback. I am an open minded, honest person with a little knowledge that guides me. |
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Was this the right thing to do?
Q. I caught my 12 year old niece smoking cigarettes with her friend. I was going to tell her mom, as I was bringing her home she said that if she gave me a blowjob can I forget about it? We pulled down a back road and she sucked me off in my car, S...
A. 9 April 2008: There is a HUGE difference between doing that with someone her own age and a man. With someone her own age, neither party REALLY understands the complexities of what they are doing. This is a grown man who should know what he is doing. Its ILLEAGAL ... (read in full...)
Was this the right thing to do?
Q. I caught my 12 year old niece smoking cigarettes with her friend. I was going to tell her mom, as I was bringing her home she said that if she gave me a blowjob can I forget about it? We pulled down a back road and she sucked me off in my car, S...
A. 17 March 2008: I'm not talking about things you see on TV or some documentary. I am talking about what the research shows and my point is that they are not capable to make those kinds of decisions. Meanwhile, this man is clearly an adult and should know what he is ... (read in full...)
Was this the right thing to do?
Q. I caught my 12 year old niece smoking cigarettes with her friend. I was going to tell her mom, as I was bringing her home she said that if she gave me a blowjob can I forget about it? We pulled down a back road and she sucked me off in my car, S...
A. 12 March 2008: Society and the media have made what it is. Thats exactly right. But your interpretation of that is COMPLETELY wrong. Somehow, you have gotten this message that it is okay to abuse girls. Thanks to the media and society, millions of girls are ... (read in full...)
Was this the right thing to do?
Q. I caught my 12 year old niece smoking cigarettes with her friend. I was going to tell her mom, as I was bringing her home she said that if she gave me a blowjob can I forget about it? We pulled down a back road and she sucked me off in my car, S...
A. 25 January 2008: Male anon and anyone else justifying child abuse: So you are justifying girls getting molested as well??? Just because young people are more sexually advanced does NOT make it right. Their brains are not advanced! Just because something seems ph... (read in full...)
Why is he STILL contacting me?
Q. I hadn't heard from my ex fiance since christmas eve, after I told him for the thirtieth time very sternly to not contact me, and then just today I got a text from him asking where a certain restaurant was that he forgot how to get to, also saying ...
A. 16 January 2008: Yes, that makes perfect sense! A true friend would never hurt you and if you arent over the damage he has caused then being friends isnt a likely option.... (read in full...)
Was this the right thing to do?
Q. I caught my 12 year old niece smoking cigarettes with her friend. I was going to tell her mom, as I was bringing her home she said that if she gave me a blowjob can I forget about it? We pulled down a back road and she sucked me off in my car, S...
A. 14 January 2008: Umm..yeah! She is a CHILD. Just because she might appear to look like a lady, act like one, and talk like one doesnt make her a woman. She still thinks like a CHILD. As a grown man, you shouldnt have ever done that in the first place! That is ... (read in full...)
Why is he STILL contacting me?
Q. I hadn't heard from my ex fiance since christmas eve, after I told him for the thirtieth time very sternly to not contact me, and then just today I got a text from him asking where a certain restaurant was that he forgot how to get to, also saying ...
A. 14 January 2008: Its obvious he wants to remain in contact with you using any excuse to talk to you. But why? I guess there can be all sorts of reasons why. Some exs do it to try to get back with you and some do it to try to be friends with you. If you dont want him ... (read in full...)
Why do men need to watch porn and how should I handle my husband's preference to pornography?
Q. Why do men need to watch porn? Every time i go away from home my husband masturbates and watch porn,even if we had sex 2-3 times during the week. It makes me feel uncertain about his love for me. I have told him that but now he does it when I am not ...
A. 13 January 2008: Female anon below me:
I really like what you have said here. Yes we should not accept it and force a change in society. But I dont think its just that simple. I am totally against porn and all that it stands for but Im not going to lose what I h... (read in full...)
Why do men need to watch porn and how should I handle my husband's preference to pornography?
Q. Why do men need to watch porn? Every time i go away from home my husband masturbates and watch porn,even if we had sex 2-3 times during the week. It makes me feel uncertain about his love for me. I have told him that but now he does it when I am not ...
A. 11 January 2008: As long as he loves you then there is nothing to worry about. Personally, I hate the use of porn but that doesnt mean that I dont face the same problem a lot of women do.
How to handle it? I think the best way to handle it is to allow him to b... (read in full...)
Why is I seen as so acceptable for boys to masturbate but not girls?
Q. why is i seen as so acceptable for boys to masturbate but not girls?...
A. 11 January 2008: The reason why its more "acceptable" for boys to masterbate is because society allows for it. It is "normal" behavior for boys, boys are supposed to be more sexual beings than girls. Girls are not taught to masterbate or shown that it is okay, its ... (read in full...)
How should I tell my mother he proposed to me?
Q. I am 15 years old. Me and my boyfriend have been on and off for 2 years. he is 13. We now know that we ant to be together forever. Just the other day he purposed to me and i said yes. My mom doesnt know. I want to tell her but dont know how. WHAT ...
A. 3 January 2008: Personally, I dont think you should be considering marriage at this age but indeed this is probably your first serious relationship. A lot of things change during your teenage years and relationships can complicate things. If this boy is really ... (read in full...)
She says I ruined her Christmas and any chance I had and now I'm confused and don't know what to think or do?
Q. Sorry if this is a bit long, it is a developing story that I have been posting to here about... Well, My girlfriend of several years told me she needed time and space. I gave her some, but tried to fight for her back. We were back for a short w...
A. 29 December 2007: You dont need to be pushed and shoved around. If she really loves you then she would be with you. The fact that she demanded you come over for the holidays and you of course, you did as she asked. It seems she only wants you when you arent paying ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and my boyfriend and I feel ready to have sex. Just a few questions.....
Q. My boyfriend and I feel ready to have sex. Just a few questions..... Approximately how long will it hurt after we've had sex? (I'm a virgin) He's had sex before, and I don't know what position would be most comfortable. Should we stick wit...
A. 27 December 2007: Just to warn you. Accidents do happen and condoms do break. And you are VERY fertile at your age! Its best to use a condom regardless to prevent STD's but I think you should take care of yourself. Why is he against birth control? Thats something you ... (read in full...)
My relationship with my daughter is strained because of her boyfriendf, and he ruined my Christmas. What do I do?
Q. Hello and Happy Holidays to All, I have a very heavy heart at this time, due to my daughter and her so called boyfriend. On Christmas eve they were at my house along with my son and his girlfriend, and they both have 1yr old boys, my grandson...
A. 27 December 2007: First, there is nothing you can do about the choices she makes. Let her live her own life but at the same time let her know that you love her and will be there no matter what. Leave the door open for her when she is ready to sit down and talk with ... (read in full...)
My bother in law is getting married abroad this year and only thinking about going there makes me cry. I suffer from agoraphobia and I feel like an outsider in his family, how do I live through this??
Q. My husbands brother has announced he will be getting married abroad later this year, and naturally we will all be expected to go. It will be two weeks with my husbands family which is going to be really hard. I am very different in every way to them ...
A. 27 December 2007: Well, just how bad is it? It seems that you arent totally confined to the house so you might be able to work through this. Talk to your husband about this. Tell him you will be needing extra support to be going this far outside your comfort zone. ... (read in full...)
Me and my neice are in love and I don't know what to do, would it be ok to date her?
Q. me and my neice are in love and i dont know what to do shes alot younger than me. i look after her quite alot and she flirts with me alot and on purpose does things so i get glimpses of her body by bending over infront of me so i can see down her ...
A. 27 December 2007: I have to ask this first...Exactly how are you her uncle? Through marriage or blood? And how much younger is she if you are only 16 or 17?... (read in full...)
I've been cautioned for assault and am terrified!
Q. I have been cautioned for assault!!!!and I am terrified!! I need to add some background. I am 52 and my fiancee of 3 years is 46( we have been together for 3.5 years). WE have had problems before that I have sought advice on here about before. ...
A. 21 December 2007: I guess you have to ask yourself if you love this woman. Do you only have problems when she is drunk or do things just escalate when she is drunk? Sometimes drinking brings out true feelings and sometimes its just rage. I would suggest that you ... (read in full...)
I want to trust him when he says he is not a porn addict but should I?
Q. We went from normal to sex rarely only when I initiate it. I questioned everything but yesterday I opened his computer and found tons of porn saved. He claims he's been saving that for years. It's all categorized by year, name, subject matter: ...
A. 19 December 2007: Ok, I might be going out on a limb so anyone, plese tell me if Im wrong about this!
He has categorized them by year, name, date? Hmmm..that definately doesnt sound like casual porn use AT ALL to me! It sounds like he has quite a collecti... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 18 December 2007: Just decided to check up on this post. Its AMAZING that people are still saying "get on birth control" or "dont have sex." Come on people, she already followed up on that issue!
Male anon below me:
I just want to comment about women being an e... (read in full...)
Any advice on topics for conversation?
Q. K so I'm looking for a bit of advice here, I like a girl who I know likes me back, but we can never keep a good conversation going. We hooked up once at a party (we were both drinking, so we don't really know each other) but ever since we've been...
A. 18 December 2007: Hmmm..perhaps she is shy? Maybe she is nervous? If that is the case then keep trying to talk to her, maybe she will come out of her shell! ... (read in full...)
His "best offer" was that we be together after his 5 yr degree had finished. I couldn't agree. Now I feel I wanted too much and instead lost everything?
Q. Dear agony aunts out there, I would be grateful for some words of wisdom. Here is the story: I met this lovely Canadian boy while we were both at uni in the UK. We fell in love and dated but after a year he returned to Canada to undertake anot...
A. 18 December 2007: He hasnt replied since October so that is a definate "no." Yeah, he isnt worth trying to be friends with! Time to move on and find someone worth your time!... (read in full...)
After all that he said and done to me I should hate this man, but in reality I still love him. Should I bring myself to hate him? How?
Q. They always say time heals all wounds. In my case I dont feel that way. Me and my ex broke up a couple months ago, well actually the end of september. We still talked but he was always so mean to me I dont understand why I put myself through it for ...
A. 17 December 2007: Im sorry but I am a little bit confused! You were with one guy that was mean to you and then you met someone else and he was mean to you in the end as well?? If thats what you are saying than here is where I stand on the issue. When someone hurts ... (read in full...)
His "best offer" was that we be together after his 5 yr degree had finished. I couldn't agree. Now I feel I wanted too much and instead lost everything?
Q. Dear agony aunts out there, I would be grateful for some words of wisdom. Here is the story: I met this lovely Canadian boy while we were both at uni in the UK. We fell in love and dated but after a year he returned to Canada to undertake anot...
A. 17 December 2007: You are right, asking for a wedding ring was a bit much at the time. I also understand that you would be moving to another country where you would have no one but him which makes things very difficult. On the other hand, he also went to another ... (read in full...)
His new girlfriend blocked me from e-mailing him, it wasn't even about him and I. He has only been with her for 6 weeks, do you think it is love or only lust in between them?
Q. If a man tells a lady he loves her in just 6 weeks of dating is he in love or is it just lust? If the new Gf blocks you from emailing him she must be insecure about him.What's your thoughts?The email was about a sick family member and she went ...
A. 17 December 2007: I think it can go either way as far as love versus lust. Most of the time it is lust but there are situations where you really do love someone or fall in love with someone in a very short period of time. It all depends!
I think her blocking... (read in full...)
Any advice on topics for conversation?
Q. K so I'm looking for a bit of advice here, I like a girl who I know likes me back, but we can never keep a good conversation going. We hooked up once at a party (we were both drinking, so we don't really know each other) but ever since we've been...
A. 17 December 2007: When meeting new people or even talking to people I know, I always find myself talking about the things Im interested in and seeing what they are interested in. What does she like to do? What do you like to do? What do you believe about this topic ... (read in full...)
I thought I was straight but I fell for my female collegue, but I want a husband and children also. Do I stay with my lesbian lover, or get back with my ex boyfriend?
Q. im at yhe peak of my career when things started to stumble, i was introduced to a new office mate, she is intelligent, sexy and pretty, we get along very well, we became close friends, most of the time we share our pants, shoes, foods, lipstick and ...
A. 16 December 2007: Why stop now? You said you were happy! Do you know how many people spend their whole lives looking to be happy or find that special someone? I think you should give that woman a chance and forget about the part of the christian faith that judges ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend gay? He looks at gay porn on the internet but insists he is straight.
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, as most relationships do, however, I think my boyfriend might be gay. 6 months into our relationship, I found a lot of gay pornography ...
A. 16 December 2007: One thing is for sure about this guy-he is CONFUSED. But I will venture to say it-he sounds like he is AT LEAST bi-sexual but probably GAY. Think about this yourself. If you are a straight female, yes you may admire other women for their beauty, ... (read in full...)
Why did I feel such an urge to tell my boyfriend I did things that I really never did, like cheating?
Q. What is wrong with me? When I was with my ex I sometimes used to make up stories about guys hitting on me. And once I even said I cheated but none of this stuff was true. I told him a few minutes later that it wasn't true. But, my question is, why ...
A. 15 December 2007: I think you need to give yourself more credit! You have mentioned many very good possibilities-you wanted out, you wanted to see if he cared, and you may have been getting back at him for checking out other girls. Although you should know that it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was seeing me and another chick at the same time. I confronted him and told her what he is like but he made her think I'm just a crazy ex. What is going on?
Q. My boyfriend was trying to see me and another chick at the same time.I seen her leave his house and I went in the house and we argued and she called while I was there.I answered his phone and told her I been sleeping with him also.Of course he took ...
A. 15 December 2007: I once told the "new girl" about my ex, I told her EVERYTHING. I felt bad and really stupid as she is still with him. But now I feel that she knows the truth and whether she believes it or not is up to HER. I think its can be a good thing to let ... (read in full...)
Is my wifes' self esteem really the issue?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 4 years. We have been together for the better part of a decade. My wife has been sexually and emotionally unattentive to say the least, for a few years now. I understand that sex declines with the length of a ...
A. 6 December 2007: I dont know dude! She sounds like she is using her "self-esteem" as an excuse almost. Well, at least the way you put it. Im sure you have told her how much you are attracted to her and how much you desire her and all that. Sounds like you are really ... (read in full...)
How do I give a great blowjob?
Q. I really need some advice, my ex boyfriend has asked me to give him oral sex, and I don't have a problem with this at all as I still love and want to please him, but only thing is, I've never done it before and want to give him a good time, any ...
A. 22 November 2007: I am not going to give you advice on how to give a great blow job. Why are you willing to do this for a man who is not with you? You need to reconsider this. This will not make him love you.... (read in full...)
Help... pregnant and not getting on with partner!
Q. Hi there, I am 28 and have a 7 year old son from a previous relationship, my partner is 40 and I am currently 19 weeks pregnant with his child. He is argumentative, picky, verbally abusive and nasty during arguments. We just can't seem to get on for ...
A. 22 November 2007: The first thing to try is talking to him and getting counseling. BUT abusive men tend to always remain abusive, they modify their behavior but they never truly change. There is never a good way to end a relationship. When things are bad, they are... (read in full...)
Was my ex hiding something?
Q. Was my ex hiding something? I just broke up with my ex fiance a little over a month ago, but now I keep remembering things that he did that bother me. One time he traveled to Colorado (we were living in new york) to work on renting out one of his ...
A. 22 November 2007: You can never be sure if someone cheated until you have proof. I must say that he doesnt sound like he was being completely honest with you. Depending on the circumstances, sometimes not saying anything is lying. For one thing, is it the same ex he ... (read in full...)
He is 34 and has teenagers writing to him, am I wrong to think this is sick?
Q. I broke up with my ex a little over a month ago, and I'm trying really hard not to look at his myspace because everytime I look he has new girls and new comments, etc. Well, I was doing good for about a week, but then I just looked a few minutes ago ...
A. 22 November 2007: I definately agree with you on this one. He has no business engaging in a relationship of any kind with a minor. I could understand if these girls were his family or people he mentored, but this doesnt sound like that at all. What is he doing ... (read in full...)
Does true love die?
Q. If two adults truly love each other and are so miserable when they are not together and can't bare to be without the other person in their life but circumstances force them to end their relationship and not see each other, will those feelings stop ...
A. 22 November 2007: Well, I guess in that situation, the two adults would always love each other or have a place in their heart for one another. I do not believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder in all cases. I think a temporary distance from one another does ... (read in full...)
My bf is very controlling, I feel I'm living with my parents again. I don't want to leave him thinking of my son's stability. What to do?
Q. hey cupid...I think I hate my boyfriend. I mean he is a great guy who wants to take care of me and he is the father of my son. But he wants to be in control. And I dont just mean some times I mean all the time. He alwasy wants to know were I am and ...
A. 21 November 2007: You say you can not be happy with this man, then leave. I know its not as easy as it sounds but thats what you will have to do. Actually, your son is already being affected by this relationship, no matter how old is. He sees his mommy unhappy or ... (read in full...)
He uses girls for sex. Is he doing the same with me?
Q. To start off, I recently had a break up with my boyfriend of 2 years. In my eyes, the relationship was amazing, couple fights here and there...but all round just amazing. We both love eachother and want to be together in the future. There was noth...
A. 21 November 2007: Hmm. Okay, I agree that you are a bit young for a serious commitment. Yes you have to get out there and experience the world. Relationships make that very difficult and at that age, you can grow apart. I was in that boat at 16 years old and stayed ... (read in full...)
I think my friends guy might be cheating on her. What should I do?
Q. hey this is a question that has been nagging out me for a long time now...its about my friend she has a boyfriend that lives 3 hours away form her she's only seen him twice IN HER WHOLE LIFE she thinks she's in love but this is just her first "real" ...
A. 21 November 2007: Its sad and frustrating to watch your friends go down a road that you feel will go nowhere. Trust me, no one wants these types of things to happen to their friends. But, she might have to work through this on her own. Im guessing you have been in a ... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty for cheating on him.
Q. Please help me. I married my boyfriend of 7 years 4 months ago and I love him to death. Four and a half years before we got married I went out with a friend and got really, really drunk. I woke up the next day to find I had gone home with a g...
A. 21 November 2007: Althought I believe cheating is WRONG and honesty is most important, I have to say I agree with your frinds. First, you arent even sure if you did anything and even if you did, you know it is wrong and are completely devoted to your husband. If you ... (read in full...)
I cant get over my jealousies and insecurities
Q. Hi, I hope someone can help as I'm feeling very confused!... I have been in a relationship for a bit over a year, all is going really well and I feel very much in love. However, I have a major problem with insecurity / trust / jealousy - and n...
A. 21 November 2007: Perhaps your jealosies are being misplaced. What are you planning for your future? What do you want out of this relationship? Maybe you feel that he is going in a completetly different direction than you which makes it difficult on a relationship. ... (read in full...)
We still love each other but there's nothing there
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together just over a year bt the last few weeks havent been the same i mean we both still love each other and want to be with each other but thes nothing there if that makes sense basically it feels like were best ...
A. 16 November 2007: It sounds like you two are starting to really get to know each other. It wont go back to what it was because in the begininng there isnt much work to be done. After a while things change, but it doesnt have to be a bad change. Are you two still ... (read in full...)
Can someone tell me how to stop feeling the pain of breaking up?
Q. Hi Everyone I have now accepted that Myself and ex fiance will not get back together. However I am tortured with thoughts of my fiance meeting or being intimate with someone else. I know I should try to block these thoughts out, but I'm struggli...
A. 16 November 2007: You need time! Even if you do find someone else right now, you still wont feel quiete right and that may cause further problems with someone else. The best thing you can do is spend some time with your friends, family, and by yourself too. Go out ... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 15 November 2007: What has this guy done wrong? First of all, he waivered on a subject that is VERY personal and should NOT be taken lightly. After two pregnancies, you think that it was okay for him to believe that it wouldnt happen again? If in fact he was that ... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 14 November 2007: Yes I agree with rockelle about your boyfriend's responsibility in this. If he is man enough to lay down with you, after you have already been pregnant twice, then he should be ready to do whatever he has to do and support your decision no matter ... (read in full...)
I told him I'm not in the mood for the first time , he has not taken it well, how can I reassure him?
Q. Hi, I have been having a little more than a few problems of late and to cut a long story short, Last night for the first time ever in my 2 yr relationship I said to my b/f that I was not feeling very sexual as I was so tired and had not slept in...
A. 14 November 2007: Two years together and this is the first time it has come up? You need to talk to him and explain to him how you felt that night. Tell him that you were just tired and you are very much attracted to him. He cant possibly expect that you will have ... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 14 November 2007: You need to decide whats best for you. Don't let him pressure you into an abortion because that is something you can never take back. If I were you, I would keep the baby. I would rather struggke being a single mom than deal with the pain of getting ... (read in full...)
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