A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel624
writes:hey cupid...I think I hate my boyfriend. I mean he is a great guy who wants to take care of me and he is the father of my son. But he wants to be in control. And I dont just mean some times I mean all the time. He alwasy wants to know were I am and who Im with. It kind of fells like im living with my parents agian. But the biggest issue is our son. I dont want to leave him and let my baby miss out. But I dont want to stay with him and become a bitch. I mean I know that if I stay with him I will not be happy but my son will never have the family he should have had... What do I do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): Some people have this crazy idea that it's better to have kids with someone after you're married to them.
A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (21 November 2007):
 You say you can not be happy with this man, then leave. I know its not as easy as it sounds but thats what you will have to do. Actually, your son is already being affected by this relationship, no matter how old is. He sees his mommy unhappy or feels mommy feeling down. Kids have a sixth sense. They feel what you are feeling. He may not be able to put it all together yet but he will eventually. Its better to get out now then later. Your son will actually adjust better at a younger age then when he is older. Also, is this man a good father to your son? If he is, then he can continue having a relationship with his son. Explain to your son that mommy and daddy love HIM but cant be together. Thats far better than having parents that are together but are unhappy.
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A
female
reader, AnnaW219  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 you need to talk to your boyfriend about the situation if he loves you he will understand but if your just staying with him because of your child things will get worse and you will regret it
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A
female
reader, lil'shade +, writes (18 November 2007):
I get your point because I grew up without my dad & it isn't a good feeling. I really think your b/f is just tryin to be there 4 U because he cares about U alot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Your son will thank you in the future if you get out now, believe me i have been there. If you are not happy then have a rethink of your life now, not later. You say your bf is controlling, that is not good. It will only get worse in the future. You will find that one day he will be telling you what to wear, where you can go and who you can talk to, i know because my first husband was just like that. I started out with a bit of controlling and then it ended with me being a battered wife. I am not saying that your bloke is going to go that far, but please dont stay there for the 'happy' family life, that you wont ever see.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Maybe he's had a bad relationship in the past, and maybe he isn't sure if he can trust again. The real reason might actually because he's a man. Most men like to be in control, to be the dominant one. I'm sure you don't hate your boyfriend. If you did, you wouldn't be saying he's a great man or still be with him. Because you're unhappy about how things are, sit him down, and gently tell him, how you're feeling, and you haven;t been happy recently because of this. He's bound to understand. It sounds like he'd do anything for you and your son, so if you tell him to give you some space for a while, or tell him that you're a grow woman, you don't need looking after, 24/7 then i'm sure he will. You need to do this, so you and your son can be happy. I hope this helps. Please rate my answer.Thank you, and everything will be alright.
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