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I thought I was straight but I fell for my female collegue, but I want a husband and children also. Do I stay with my lesbian lover, or get back with my ex boyfriend?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

im at yhe peak of my career when things started to stumble, i was introduced to a new office mate, she is intelligent, sexy and pretty, we get along very well, we became close friends, most of the time we share our pants, shoes, foods, lipstick and even tootbrush too! we became to fond of each other, on weekends we go out, we go places we've never been, and we are happy, extreamly happy when we are together!

one day, my boss asks me if we can have a talk, in that event, he revealed that our new employee is a lesbian, and knew her past relationships, i was shocked at first, but then, i ignore him just because i do not believe in him, because she is sexy, pretty and very feminine! not the usual lesbian type, i also became curios of her actuations, but maybe, the curiousity leads me to loving her more.

we became the talk inside the office, rumors starts to spill, even the janitors and the guards starts to gossip about us, one of my close friend asks me if it is true, ofcourse i deny it, because its really not true! we are just good friends and we do not have any relationship besides being best friends.

until one night, the nightmare starts! i ask her if i can stay in her house even for one night because my car is in the shop and it needs to be check and i need to get to work early the next day.

we lay together in her bed, we had a very nice talk, until she ask me if she can hug me because the room is so cold, and i said yes, and i hug her too, until she starts to kiss me and just found my self kissing her back! she wispered i love you, and something wonderful happend between us! and i dont regret it, i love it, we both love it.

from then on, she became so protected of me, she provides me of every thing, i was treated like a princess and i love it, and i love her even more! i love her inspite and dispite of every thing, we are into our 3rd year of "secret" relationship and im happy with her, but i really want to have a family! a husband and a child, but how? my boyfriend wants to win me back, but how? im into this relationship and i can not run away from this, i do not want to loose her. my relationship is against my christian faith and family values, i tried to break up with her because i cant handle the issues between us, but i simply love her, and just finding my self knocking at her door again and again... please help me on this because i just can not stand the pain,... a lost soul

View related questions: best friend, christian, her past, I love you, kissing, lesbian, my boss, my ex

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A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2007):

hello1 agony auntbirdynumnums right, you don't have to give up your dreams of having children. One of you can carry an child or you both can adopt. You been together three years, I think it's time you came out of the closet! change your christain faith and realise your doing what makes you happy. Your g/f may end up leaving you, how do you think she feels? she may get fed up and walk out.

Your ex b/f, well if you were going to leave I wouldn't go back with an ex, it's properly more of an ego thing for him.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (16 December 2007):

birdynumnums agony auntIt seems that you are happy but your fantasies and hopes are out of whack. Why would you change what you have for something more conventional? I have friends that have been together thirty years and they are gay WITH children. It was much harder to do back then and THEY managed. Start doing your homework and planning your lives together. There are many different ways to raise a family. Be Happy. God Bless.

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A female reader, Star_07 United States +, writes (16 December 2007):

Star_07 agony auntWhy stop now? You said you were happy! Do you know how many people spend their whole lives looking to be happy or find that special someone? I think you should give that woman a chance and forget about the part of the christian faith that judges relationships. You can still be a christian but you will have to accept yourself. I am NOT religious by ANY means but I dont think that you should deny yourself happiness because it against your religion. Change the way you think about your religion or change your religion entirely.

You can have a family with this woman, if thats what you truly want. Of course you should be VERY sure about this relationship before you bring a child in this world or adopt BUT all relationships need to be that way!

Its not wrong of you to want a family, what is wrong is that if you truely are a lesbian and try to make yourself something you are not, then all it will cause is for you to be unhappy and your kids to be unhappy.

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2007):

starfairy agony auntIf you want to stay with your girlfriend but also want a family, maybe you could look into adoption, or IVF?

If you want to be with your ex boyfriend, maybe you have issues you haven't addressed. If you only want to be with your ex so you can have a husband and children, that's not the right reason. Follow your heart but also listen to your head.

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