What could I do about losing my virginity this way? any way of making it easier?
Q. hello, im very conflicted about something that most people dont really pay mind, but to me is a big deal. you see i am still a virgin at 23, and a big part of that was because when i was younger and way more innocent i made the choice of not be...
A. 15 June 2013: A person's intrinsic human worth is not lessened by how much or how little sex he or she has. Period. There is no such thing as a "slut".
Looking down on people who have sex when it's none of your business and not your place to judge? Not cool... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and Sex doesn't turn me on like it should.
Q. As the title says, Im having a problem. Ive been in a relashionship for a while now and I just dont seem to crave my boyfriend. He does everything for my attention, he's gentle with me, loving. But sex for me doesnt seem to be like I expect it...
A. 15 June 2013: It's difficult if not downright impossible for us to teach our partners about our bodies if we don't know ourselves. You're basically expecting him to "figure you out" without helping him -at all-, and that's unfair. If you can't even bring yourself ... (read in full...)
Roommate is bringing cats into the home -- but I already have a dog
Q. I need your advice yet again agony aunts. Its not a relationship problembut rather a friendship problem. Ok, so I have 2 roommates and 1 is my best friend since I moved here. I also have a dog who loves people but can be picky with other dogs. Well ...
A. 15 June 2013: Before you totally dismiss the chance that your dog could get along with the cats, give them a chance.
It's quite possible that the cats and your dog will quickly figure out a social structure that works for all of them and get along fine.
... (read in full...)
No physical attraction?
Q. Can a relationship work if you get on well with a person but don't have much physical attraction?...
A. 15 June 2013: If it's a platonic friendship yes.
If it's a romantic relationship, absolutely not.... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and Sex doesn't turn me on like it should.
Q. As the title says, Im having a problem. Ive been in a relashionship for a while now and I just dont seem to crave my boyfriend. He does everything for my attention, he's gentle with me, loving. But sex for me doesnt seem to be like I expect it...
A. 15 June 2013: Are you regularly having orgasms? Women tend to enjoy sex a lot more when they actually feel sexually satisfied from it.
Are you aware of the function and location of your clitoris? Do you masturbate? Can you bring yourself to orgasm?
How sex... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't put in any effort in our marriage and it's taking it's toll on me
Q. I don't know what to do. The situation with me and my husband that I am taking care of absolutely everything regarding our lives. We have business, that I run. All the paperwork, all customer relations, accounting, everything's my responsibility. ...
A. 15 June 2013: Your husband is lazy. Point blank. He relies on you for everything and you have completely carried him through life.
Put your foot down. Either he becomes an independent adult and acts like a responsible grown up, or you get divorce papers. ... (read in full...)
What could I do about losing my virginity this way? any way of making it easier?
Q. hello, im very conflicted about something that most people dont really pay mind, but to me is a big deal. you see i am still a virgin at 23, and a big part of that was because when i was younger and way more innocent i made the choice of not be...
A. 15 June 2013: Here are two videos by Lacy Green that you REALLY need to watch. It concerns sluts and losing your virginity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdYtYveJI1Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCw2MzKjpoo... (read in full...)
Is it abnormal for my 20 year old girlfriend to sleep in the same bed with her mom regularly?
Q. My girlfriend is 20. We've been together for two years. She told me something that totally caught me off guard and when I think about it, it seems somehow wrong. We were talking about our parents. She was telling me some happy stories ab...
A. 14 June 2013: Seems perfectly normal to me. There's been times where my mom's been asleep and both of my kids and husband are all in my bed asleep, and I have nowhere to lay down but my mom's bed, so I'll just go in there and crash.
There's nothing sexual g... (read in full...)
I met my online date, but do not like him. How do I let this fade away?
Q. I've been exchanging messages with this guy I met online for the past two weeks. We basically wrote lengthy letters to one another, covering a variety of topics. He's basically an open book, and a genuine guy from the "research" I've done on him. ...
A. 14 June 2013: If the situation was reversed, how would you want him to handle it?
You would probably want him to be honest and straightforward with you, so that you two could stop talking and move onto new partners soon, right?
So do the right thing. Don... (read in full...)
Does anyone have experience in dealing with a bipolar partner?
Q. i've got a bit of a problem and would appreciate some good advice. i've used this site a few times in the past and had some really great responses. my girlfriend is bipolar. she was just diagnosed and is currently taking meds to stablize her moo...
A. 11 June 2013: My husband is bipolar, which means he had the same sort of mood swings that you described. Now that he's been diagnosed and is taking his medication faithfully, it's much MUCH better. It's incredibly draining, and I totally sympathize with ... (read in full...)
Is he jealous or just think I'm being inappropriate?
Q. I work at a sports bar and all my male co-workers really like me. I never thought of it as a problem, they're all very nice and I'm nice to them back because I have no reason not to be. Usually it has never been a big deal, they just compliment me ...
A. 11 June 2013: It's unprofessional. Regardless of how innocent it is, you shouldn't encourage unprofessional behavior. This is your job, you should act in a manner that is proper for EMPLOYMENT. Flirt with them back on your own time. That is why your boss is ... (read in full...)
Doesn't anyone date anymore?
Q. I just became single again after 3 years relationship. Started going out and meeting lots of guys. We exchange phone numbers, then they call or text. Never with an invitation for a date. It's ussualy a little after we met: did you get home alright? ...
A. 11 June 2013: Here's the question: Did YOU ask any of THEM?
It's 2013. Time to stop waiting on men to do all the heavy lifting and get on it yourself. I'm a feminist, that means I think all genders are equally responsible for their own shit, I never wait for... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I'm worried about my boyfriend being in the air force?
Q. Hey y'all. My boyfriend is in the air force, doing special ops. And this requires field training where he goes in the woods and try to basically survive. Well, when we started dating, he was already in, so I couldn't change his mind if I wanted to. ...
A. 11 June 2013: Well...honestly I don't think you should discourage him from being in the military. Yes, he could be deployed and he could be hurt, that's always a possibility. However, it's also possible that he could be hurt in a car wreck driving to a "safe" j... (read in full...)
Should I do something for my b/f of 6 months on father's day?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months and he has a young son. Should I do something special for him for Fathers Day? I'm pretty sure his ex wife will get some something for him from their son but should I do something too?...
A. 11 June 2013: Yeah, I think you should do something. You might ask him what sort of thing he'd be comfortable with getting, or any guidelines for what sort of gifts he'd like. It's better to ask and get an idea of what he'd like than try and guess and get it ... (read in full...)
Help me deal with my longing for my absent girlfriend
Q. Hi, I'm currently in a really happy relationship but my girlfriend has gone away for a couple of months and I can't cope. I have been seeing her a couple of months but we practically live together and we are pretty much the same person in d...
A. 10 June 2013: Find a serious time sink. I suggest taking up a time-consuming and engrossing habit like World of Warcraft. No, I'm not being sarcastic or trying to crack jokes, I'm 100% serious. It's a fun game but in order to be good at it, it takes a real inv... (read in full...)
After two years I'm finding him both controlling and dull
Q. Hi. So I've been with my fiance for almost two years next month...(Cheated on him two weeks into our relationship) Anyway, I guess I'm finding him a bit boring and controlling these days... please note my partner has "Autistic tendencies...
A. 10 June 2013: You've shown that you have a very unhealthy model for picking relationships, and that you can't be trusted to be in a monogamous relationship at this point in your life. You don't pick men that are suitable as partners for your level of emotiona... (read in full...)
I really want to leave my husband, but how can I?
Q. Modnote: please advise your country too, as it will= more culturally appropriate advice.Some countries have better support resources than other countries - available to a woman facing your issues. .... ..... ..... ..... ..... .... ....... ..... .....
A. 10 June 2013: If your daughter came to you and told you what you've told us, what would you say to her? How would that make you feel? As a parent, you provide examples of what "Normal" relationships look like for your children. If you continue with this, ... (read in full...)
Exclusive or not....what is acceptable?
Q. I want to know if I am being unrealistic or not. How long should you wait before being exclusive with someone? I am 47 years old and I met a man on POF who is soon to be 49 back in March. We are both quite attractive and we have been dating for 3 ...
A. 9 June 2013: Technically, no, there was no discussion about you two being exclusive, HOWEVER...Technically there was no discussion about you two NOT being exclusive. Both of you made assumptions...you that he was "yours", he that you were his jump off.
He's ... (read in full...)
He's getting married so why is he contacting me??
Q. I made a huge mistake. The biggest mistake of my life actually and i'm not really sure how to move on from it all. I ended up getting involved with somebody who had a girlfriend, now fiancée apparently. We were both single when it started and it was ...
A. 9 June 2013: In the past, you've been willing to give him attention, affection and sex regardless of the fact that he's taken. That's why he's contacting you, because it feeds his ego and his desire to have a "thing on the side".
I'm the type of girl that wou... (read in full...)
Last time I spoke to him he turned me down. Now he's bothering me again. How do I make him stop?
Q. Apologies for the essay - I can promise it's an interesting story - but this guy is just being a total nuisance. I'm in my third year at university. Way back during first year in halls, I really fancied one of my hallmates. I didn't know him very ...
A. 9 June 2013: The less emotional you react when you tell him, the less he can complain about. Just make sure you look him right in the eye and be very serious. Tell him that you're not interested but don't elaborate. The shorter and more serious your interaction, ... (read in full...)
It is just his Disrespect for me? Or is this because he is insecure about the fact that I work with men?
Q. I am a journeyman commercial painter. And yes as a woman in a mans world I already deal with enough crap. My bf has absolutely no respect for what I do. He thinks there's no physical labor involved in my job. I tried to explain to him that I ha...
A. 8 June 2013: I think we're missing some of the story here, at least that's what I'm sensing here. Is he getting annoyed with you being so tired because he wants to do more things with you after work and during the weekend? Or is he just acting pissy at you for ... (read in full...)
Last time I spoke to him he turned me down. Now he's bothering me again. How do I make him stop?
Q. Apologies for the essay - I can promise it's an interesting story - but this guy is just being a total nuisance. I'm in my third year at university. Way back during first year in halls, I really fancied one of my hallmates. I didn't know him very ...
A. 8 June 2013: He sounds like he's a real piece of work. I never understood guys like that, it's like they're perpetually frat-brained, and they think that their d-bag behavior is cool and edgy when emotionally mature women look at them with disdain and disgust ... (read in full...)
My mother doesn't accept me as I am and its really getting me down
Q. Please give me some advice or help on this; In the past I have dated guys and girls, I believe in love has no gender, and as long as your happy why does it matter? unfortunately my mum does not think this. I have been in a relationship now for ...
A. 8 June 2013: First off, I want to start this by saying I'm terribly sorry that you're in this situation and I deeply sympathize with you. I'm also openly pansexual and have had family issues of my own when I came out. Unfortunately, you cannot force your mothe... (read in full...)
Why do a lot of men like slutty-sexual type of women?
Q. Why do a lot of men like slutty-sexual type of women? Is it mostly just a sex thing or do they really care about these girls who are like that? I'm not a very sexual woman at all, and I only bring out that side of me when I'm in a long term relati...
A. 8 June 2013: The opposite of my opinion would be that the OP -IS- here on this planet just to get male attention and her self-worth is directly tied to how much male approval and attention she gets. Her ONLY worth is how attractive she is to men. The oppos... (read in full...)
Why do a lot of men like slutty-sexual type of women?
Q. Why do a lot of men like slutty-sexual type of women? Is it mostly just a sex thing or do they really care about these girls who are like that? I'm not a very sexual woman at all, and I only bring out that side of me when I'm in a long term relati...
A. 8 June 2013: Slut-shaming. I've spoken about it multiple times here on this site and every time I see it, it makes me feel so sad and disappointed. Slut-shaming is the act of putting down a woman for enjoying the same sexual freedom that men have enjoyed for... (read in full...)
How to bring back the "honeymoon phase" in an 8 year relationship?
Q. It's a cliche question, but I gotta ask it! I've been with my partner for 8 years now. First few years, very hot and heavy - we couldn't keep our hands off each other. You know, the honeymoon phase. I don't expect things to stay like they ...
A. 7 June 2013: Schedule time for sex.
Yes, it sounds unromantic, but you -have- to force yourselves to carve out time to work on building intimacy and romance. One day a week, take the time out to do something together, even if it's as simple as ordering... (read in full...)
I need some strategies, please, to deal with my sister. What can I do? She's become insufferable since she lost weight.
Q. I am 26, and this year to celebrate my Dad's 60th birthday we are going on a family holiday to Florida. This will include myself, my parents and my two sisters. I generally get on well with my sisters, but one of them has recently become ...
A. 7 June 2013: Shut her down point blank every time she talks about it. Be firm and look her in the eye, "I'm not going to discuss my diet with you, it's none of your business."
Be consistent. Don't lose your temper, if she continues, just get up and walk awa... (read in full...)
Spotted a guy I really fancy on an online dating site - should I message him or not?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship right now (am staying in my university town all summer due to family issues). However, I was curious as to what was out there besides boys from my uni and decided to join an online dating site for fun ...
A. 6 June 2013: I think you should message him. There's no harm in dating for fun, even if you are busy and can only see him occasionally. Not every relationship has to be serious and end in marriage, so there's absolutely no harm in talking to him and seeing if ... (read in full...)
Is it common that I can't orgasm? I'm only 18
Q. Hi people. I am 18, I want to know if it is common for a woman not to be able to orgasm at my age? Or feel that cumming sensation without helping my self during sex? My boyfriend says it's weird and it hasn't happened with any of his ex's. It's ...
A. 6 June 2013: Most women need sustained, direct clitoral stimulation during sex in order to reach orgasm. Since your clitoris isn't located inside your vagina, penis-in-vagina sex isn't likely to give you the stimulation you need. Have you ever orgasmed through... (read in full...)
Is it rude to ask someone about a scar?
Q. Is it rude to ask about a scar? I've had a tummy tuck and lost 20ilbs. after. I am happy with my physique now and enjoy wearing bikinis. I had a friend ask me the other day about a 1inch scar from the surgery. I just mentioned I had ...
A. 3 June 2013: I don't find it rude, but I'm not ashamed of my scars. I think shame and being insulted about the questions goes hand in hand.... (read in full...)
I'm ready to have sex. How do I tell my parents?
Q. I am 17 and I am a virgin. Well my parents have always been very conservative on matters of sex. I used to wear a purity ring (my parents kind of pressured me into vowing abstinence). I was on vacation and lost my ring while swimming in the ocean. I ...
A. 3 June 2013: I don't believe that remaining a virgin is a moral choice. I don't believe refraining from having sex is "better" in any way than not, however, sex is a choice that can have serious life-altering consequences, mainly pregnancy and STDs. If you ar... (read in full...)
My husband seems to be too flirty with his male friend. Am I being totally crazy?
Q. I need some advice, I need to know if I am overreacting. Me and my husband have been married for a year and have a 1 year old. My husband has this male friend, my husband self employed and this friend sets up work for him. This friend has a ...
A. 3 June 2013: How many children do you have? A son or a daughter?
Please excuse us Aunts and Uncles for being suspicious but we've had plenty of posters come in here and lie about situations just for attention. We're not getting paid for our time, this is a tot... (read in full...)
Are my feelings for my sensei unprofessional?
Q. This is real awkward but im not sure. I go to this dojo where i live and i train with a guy sensei. He's really nice and great with everyone and i cant help liking him. Not just like student-teacher but like best friends. He's pretty much the ...
A. 3 June 2013: It is unprofessional, however, at your age it's very normal and almost everyone has a childhood crush on a person in authority.
Please recognize this for what it is and keep it to yourself. There are boys your age that are available that you can ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 6 years has been sexting a married woman!
Q. I have been with my bf for 6 years. I have found out he's sexting a married woman. He did some work at her house a couple of months ago and a short while after he started messaging her. She responded and they seemed intimate. He texted intimate ...
A. 3 June 2013: Cheating is something that is defined not by other people, but by the people involved in the relationship in question. Do you feel as though this crossed that border? If so, confront him with the proof and let him know that you're not okay with him ... (read in full...)
Do some guys not like well-educated girls?
Q. I'm currently at quite a good university studying a rigorous subject, and as I don't know any guys from my uni I'd really like to go out with I've started dating those from outside uni. I don't make a big deal out of my education, or like to argue...
A. 3 June 2013: I know exactly what you mean. I'm also a Christian woman and passionately for LGBT rights, and fairly educated myself. NEVER HIDE WHO YOU ARE. There are men out there that will appreciate you having a strong sense of morals and social justice. ... (read in full...)
My irrational fear of getting pregnant is stopping me from meeting guys.
Q. Hi there, i'm sure this seems like a really stupid question but i just need some calming advice. I'm 22, still a virgin and only kissed a couple of guys. I dont have a problem with any of this however my problem is i have an irrational fear of ...
A. 3 June 2013: Then you need to seek help from a psychiatrist. ... (read in full...)
I'm not having sex till I get married. Why do so many friends criticise me for this?
Q. I'm a girl, at university and I've decided I'm not having sex till I get married. I'm Christian, but that's actually not the reason why - I'm really liberal and fully in support of gay marriage/pro-choice etc. It's because sex means a lot to me ...
A. 3 June 2013: It seems like a few of you took what I said a little too personally and I'm not really sure why some people seem offended by what I've stated. I did not point out any specific person in my post, merely made a list of general observations. ... (read in full...)
Thinks are awkward since I rejected one of the guys in our group
Q. I have this group of friends who I sometimes hang out with. And to my dismay,a guy from this group of friends confessed to me and I rejected him. Now I feel very uncomfortable and awkward seeing him. The problem is he still keeps initiating group ...
A. 3 June 2013: He obviously doesn't feel bad about it.
Just go. You've heard the phrase "fake it til you make it", haven't you? You won't get over it until you make yourself see him and see for yourself that he doesn't feel awkward about it.
It's not like... (read in full...)
I'm hurting, in our 3 years he's cheated on me more than 5 times! How to prevent him from cheating again?
Q. im currently in a relationship of 3 years and since we have been together my boy friend has cheated on me more than 5 time, and he just repeated now so I just don't know what to do! and he keeps on saying he loves me when I dump him... so how do I ...
A. 3 June 2013: The only person on this planet that you can control is you.
Take that information and do with it what you think is best for your long-term happiness.... (read in full...)
Friends say he just wants sex but he told me he won't mistreat me.
Q. There is a guy I have been talking to who I met through my friend for about 5 months, he's really nice and a gent at times, however yesterday me and my friend were talking and he came up in conversation and she said not to go for him (as in date) as ...
A. 3 June 2013: Let your gut be your guide.
There's nothing wrong with dating him and allowing him to SHOW YOU through his -actions- that he's going to treat you the way you need to be treated.
And if you two end up not working out, where's the harm in givi... (read in full...)
Our moral values don't match because my girlfriend has no compassion towards suffering.
Q. I had a conversation with my girlfriend today about how I was upset about other people getting unfairly hurt due to no fault of their own, people being homeless and such and she told me that people who care about others are stupid and that people ...
A. 3 June 2013: If she lacks compassion for human suffering, she will not make a compatible partner for you in the long-term. Similar views about society and similar moral viewpoints is absolutely CRITICAL for the long-term health of a relationship.
Serio... (read in full...)
My irrational fear of getting pregnant is stopping me from meeting guys.
Q. Hi there, i'm sure this seems like a really stupid question but i just need some calming advice. I'm 22, still a virgin and only kissed a couple of guys. I dont have a problem with any of this however my problem is i have an irrational fear of ...
A. 3 June 2013: If you are aware of how babies are made and how to prevent it, then you have nothing to fear. Since you can't get pregnant from just meeting a man, what's REALLY stopping you?... (read in full...)
I'm not having sex till I get married. Why do so many friends criticise me for this?
Q. I'm a girl, at university and I've decided I'm not having sex till I get married. I'm Christian, but that's actually not the reason why - I'm really liberal and fully in support of gay marriage/pro-choice etc. It's because sex means a lot to me ...
A. 3 June 2013: I want to clear up some misconceptions that are being liberally shared here. Virginity is a social construct that in no way indicates the worth of the person. Having sex with someone in no way affects your value or worth as a human being. No ... (read in full...)
I'm not having sex till I get married. Why do so many friends criticise me for this?
Q. I'm a girl, at university and I've decided I'm not having sex till I get married. I'm Christian, but that's actually not the reason why - I'm really liberal and fully in support of gay marriage/pro-choice etc. It's because sex means a lot to me ...
A. 2 June 2013: The next time someone brings it up, tell them flat out that you refuse to discuss it. It's no one's business but yours what you do with your body.
Also, avoid bringing the topic up yourself in the future.... (read in full...)
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