Do you think he wants me just for sex? He admits he had a STD test recently. Could he be a player?
Q. So I've been seeing this guy and we've been on three dates. He initiated everything from asking me for my number, to arranging for our dates, to paying for each one of them. Yesterday he invited me for drinks with his friends. They were mostly ...
A. 27 October 2012: I believe that it's a very antiquated thought process that you are dealing with here. Not just "players" and "sluts" get tested for STDs. -ANYONE- who is sexually active needs to get them regularly, regardless of how many or how few partners they ... (read in full...)
Is Abstinence the only answer as birth control for me?
Q. I'm having a lot of trouble with birth control methods and I don't know whether to ask my boyfriend if we can stop having sex until we're ready to settle down. We've been together for a year and sexually active for almost all of it. At the start...
A. 23 October 2012: If the condoms hurt, try larger ones.
Also, he might be experiencing an allergic reaction to the latex, so you might try non-latex condoms.
Since you're having trouble with hormonal birth control, condoms and spermicide is pretty much your... (read in full...)
What's the deal with Kim Kardashian?
Q. Hi, everyone. My boyfriend has a thing for Kim Kardashian. I personally think she's an overrated, spoiled brat. He has pleasured himself to her before, while we were broken up, but just recently I had fallen asleep before him and I woke up to him in ...
A. 22 October 2012: *I have to disagree with this. Her good complexion is all makeup, her "full" lips are no doubt lip injections, eyes lashes are most definitely fake, and she has hair extensions. She is NOT beautiful. At least to me, she is not. It doesn't count ... (read in full...)
He said the condom I gave him was too small ...
Q. The other day I lent a condom to my friend who was going to have intercourse for the first time and when he came back he said it was too small and had to buy a larger one. I know it shouldn't affect me but it seems to bother me. The condom fits ok ...
A. 22 October 2012: The size of your penis has very little to do with female satisfaction. Since women usually can only reach orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation, and during PIV intercourse, the penis doesn't stimulate the clitoris, your penis size doesn't ... (read in full...)
What's the deal with Kim Kardashian?
Q. Hi, everyone. My boyfriend has a thing for Kim Kardashian. I personally think she's an overrated, spoiled brat. He has pleasured himself to her before, while we were broken up, but just recently I had fallen asleep before him and I woke up to him in ...
A. 22 October 2012: Objectively, she's very beautiful. She has a lot of markers that display fertility and youth, such as a good complexion, full lips, long eyelashes, shiny hair, and an hourglass figure. Her personality doesn't mean anything in terms of his fan... (read in full...)
I am a loner and enjoy solo activities. BUT, based on your thoughts, ... Do people date loners? Or do they retreat from dating loners and why?
Q. Would you date a loner? I don't have that many friends, but it's not because of Social Anxiety Disorder or because I do strange things. I'm just highly independent, enjoy spending time self-reflecting and doing solo activities (reading,...
A. 21 October 2012: I'm outgoing and a social butterfly. My husband is a loner. So yes, not only do people date them, sometimes we marry them too!
However, I want to warn you...being a loner doesn't excuse you from being an adult, so if you're interested in getting ... (read in full...)
Why are girls not interested in me?
Q. I really can't understand why no girls are interested in me at all. I'm a nice caring guy, so can often get trapped in the friend zone but I was thinking the other day, I'm 19 and not one girl has ever shown an interest in me. I look in the mirr...
A. 16 October 2012: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/girls-say-im-nice-so-why-am-i.html
This is a similar topic to the link I provided. The answers you need are there.... (read in full...)
Girls say I'm nice. So why am I still single? Am I missing something they are trying to tell me?
Q. I have been talking to all the girls in my class who all happen to have significant others and they all call me the nicest guy they have ever met Some of the girls say that any girl would be lucky to have me and that I'm too good for just any girl...
A. 15 October 2012: I've already posted this to another poster who claimed to be a "Nice Guy".
It's not written by me, but by a friend of mine that goes by the screen name "Lady_Air"
I hear over and over again how hard done by "nice guys" are. How women alw... (read in full...)
I dumped my married lover when I found out about another woman, I think his wife needs to be told!
Q. I am married and had an affair with a married man. We're both in our early 50's. For four years. I've been needing to end it. He ended it, after some bad behaviour on my part, and well, I just got really angry. It wasn't some soulmate thing, it ...
A. 15 October 2012: You're not telling her out of altruism, you're telling her out of a selfish desire for vengeance.
Haven't you already caused enough problems by having an affair in the first place?
Mind your own business.... (read in full...)
Realistically, what do 20 something year old girls think of men with long hair?
Q. I've always been really self-conscious about my appearance, namely because I have pale-skin, red hair, freckles, and glasses, while the rest of my family all has dark Native-American hair, eyes, and skin. As such, I was always picked-on for being ...
A. 15 October 2012: Some women like long hair, some women don't. You should wear your hair the way YOU like it most, instead of trying to please strangers.
If you don't like the fact that you have red hair, you can always dye it. :-)... (read in full...)
I don’t think I can ever respect another woman again.
Q. Right now my brain is the midst of a battle...Why? It’s because I’m somehow beginning to see women in a completely different light than I did before. Long story short, Wednesday at work, the topic of women came up. In my office there are 3 guys and...
A. 12 October 2012: If you honestly believe that you can get away with being a misogynist because some women would prefer not to know certain things that would hurt them, then you have bigger issues to worry about. Like the fact that you're considering being a ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend keeps texting me for sex!
Q. My ex boyfriend got dumped by his girlfriend now he keeps texting me asking for sex and it is really annoying me and my boyfriend now! I am ignoring him but he just isn't getting the picture, if I don't reply he gets a little abusive in the text...
A. 12 October 2012: Block his number from your phone and block him on facebook.... (read in full...)
I'm also jealous of their success with women. So can going to a strip club improve things?
Q. My friends and I are in college and just finished a string of exams. They want to celebrate by going to a strip club, everyone needs a first time. I'm conflicted because I don't know what to do. I have low confidence and am starting to believe I...
A. 12 October 2012: Going to a strip club will not ease the crushing lack of self confidence you're experiencing. It's putting a band aid on a problem instead of hunting down and fixing the root of it. Women at strip clubs do not like you, or want to get to know you. ... (read in full...)
Are my fantasies bordering on mental illness?
Q. I'm kind of worried I've warped my mind through excessive pornography use over the last few years, and through meeting some people in the sex industry, and I'm looking for some advice on what to do next, as my eyes are opening to the extent of the ...
A. 12 October 2012: There is nothing inherently wrong with having fetishes/kinks. The only time it's bad is when it's negatively impacting your life due to overuse and dependency.
Kink acceptance is something every kinky person must come to terms with. Some people d... (read in full...)
When do girls get past this immature rubbish?
Q. Easy one, when do girls start to mature and stop messing nice guys like me around? I only ever seem to get "friendzoned" or they lead me on for a few weeks then have the whole "im a screw up, you deserve better" talk....seriously, it's ridiculous ...
A. 10 October 2012: There is no such thing as the "friendzone". Women are allowed to have platonic male friends. Women are not vending machines that give you sex when you put enough "Nice Guy" coins into us. You have to be more than just "nice" in order to get a r... (read in full...)
Advice please? First time sex for a 24 year old virgin. Is it as painful as some say it is?
Q. Ok so I think ive found my 'one' we've been going out for a while now and are coming upto a point n our relationship where we both want sex. However I'm scared this would be my first time. I really like this guy and want to take our relationship...
A. 9 October 2012: It can be painful, yes. A few tips: USE. A. CONDOM. No excuses. Spermicide and hormonal birth control like the pill, patch or depo shot would be even better, combined. Multiple methods of pregnancy and STI prevention are responsible and a... (read in full...)
How do I get my prude girlfriend to do sexual things with me?!
Q. How do I get my prude girlfriend to do shit with me?! We have been dating for a few weeks and we have only made out. I try to feel her up and she just stops me. how can i seduce/persuade her to let me finger her or give me dome!? ...
A. 9 October 2012: While I completely disagree with some comments here (women deserve to have whatever sex they want with whomever they want, period, and we're no one to condemn her for using her own body the way she wants.) I think that you are not compatible with ... (read in full...)
He's too "nice" for me and it's a turn off.
Q. I have been seeing this really nice guy for the past 4 months. His "niceness" is starting to bother me, in that I find him to be not as masculine as I'd like him to be. He is the type who always has a smile on his face, who is always polite, ...
A. 9 October 2012: You equate politeness as weakness. You equate niceness as femininity. Holding onto antiquated gender roles isn't going to get you anywhere in a relationship. It's time to let go of outdated standards of what a "real man" is and appreciate him... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to buy me things?
Q. Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to buy me things? I don't mean expensive jewelery or anything, but we've been going out four months and he's never brought me flowers, or chocolates or anything. He's only ever once or twice paid for dinner. I feel ...
A. 8 October 2012: He can't read your mind. No matter how many romantic comedies you watch that magically say "men that are REALLY In love can!" No, they cannot, no matter how much they love you, they will never develop magical powers that will suddenly allow them to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wants a break so he can date other girls
Q. Hello, I am in a rather interesting situation. My boyfriend well currently ex boyfriend lives with me. And hes confusing and hurting me emotionally. But lets go back to the beginning 4 1/2 years. We met while I was on a field trip when I was stil...
A. 8 October 2012: You've got some suspicions here, and I think they're totally justified. I can tell by what you've written here that you really feel like you're being played...and honey, that is exactly what is happening.
Break up with him, kick him out of your ... (read in full...)
My fiancé wants us to watch "barely legal" porn while having sex. He says we can learn something from it. Does this sound right to you?
Q. My fiance told me that we may "learn something" from watching porn together in bed before and during sex. The porn he has always watches though is Barely Legal porn tapes of very young women and men just out of high school. To me that is not "lea...
A. 6 October 2012: Porn is relatively harmless as long as all parties are consenting and fine with it. This, however, is an issue. Porn is not educational. Let me say that one more time. PORN. IS. NOT. EDUCATIONAL. Porn is in no way like "successful", or "... (read in full...)
How do I get over unrequited love without avoiding the person entirely?
Q. So. I've had a thing for one of my friends for nearly a year. About six months ago I kinda told him, and his response was that he wasn't looking to date - which I realize is a nicer way of saying he's not interested in me. After that he just acted ...
A. 6 October 2012: No, you cannot control your emotions. But you can control your actions and how you react to those emotions.
Cutting off all PURPOSEFUL contact with him is the best idea. You need to avoid him as much as possible, while going out and looking ... (read in full...)
How do you get approved for a sex change?
Q. I never felt as if I was a woman born in a male body however I have always wanted to be female. Can one get approved for a sex change operation based solely on the fact that one would rather be the other sex? ...
A. 6 October 2012: There are some greedy doctors, and there are some really GOOD doctors, who help people like yourself all the time.
Your best bet would be to start doing some google searches, and research Gender Reassignment Surgery.
http://en.wik... (read in full...)
Husband wasn't happy when I was heavier and now that I'm think he's STILL not happy!
Q. I'm at my wits end right now. A few years ago, my husband teased me relentlessly about my weight. At first it was funny and cute and I thought that as long as he still wanted me ,there really wasn't a problem. Then his comments regarding my wai...
A. 6 October 2012: He wasn't criticizing you for your weight because he didn't like your weight, he was criticizing you because that's how he gains control of you.
He wants to be the Dominant partner, the one who is pleased instead of pleasing. He wants to "wear th... (read in full...)
How realistic is it for me to want to date only uncircumcised men?
Q. I know this may make me shallow, childish, immature, but it's how I feel: Three years ago I was engaged to a man from Europe. He was uncircumcised; it was not my first experience with an intact man. I loved it so much, and he was so gentle wi...
A. 4 October 2012: Having preferences doesn't make you shallow. You, just like anyone else in the world, have the right to have their own wants and desires. Since it's that important to you, make sure you have the conversation about the status of his penis well before ... (read in full...)
I baby sit my niece and nephew. Can I please have some tips on how to ensure more harmony when I am with these children?
Q. I need some tips and tricks on how to keep my niece, a highly intelligent, high-energy (probably ADHD) 26 month old toddler busy while I'm babysitting her. I am also watching her 8 month old brother who is already standing, crawls super fast, an...
A. 3 October 2012: My kids are 2 years old and 3 years old, both girls. My oldest girl is sometimes aggressive and mean to her little sister, and it's a completely normal part of toddlers growing up. "Corner time" is the method we use to discipline her. Span... (read in full...)
What to do? My ex has a girlfriend yet he keeps texting me saying 'I miss having sex with you',
Q. So I broke up with my ex nearly 6 months ago after a rocky 3 and a half years! We had been through a lot but it was constand arguing and sex, sometimes I was happy, but then our sex life turned really rubbish, and it was him basically saying '...
A. 3 October 2012: If you know his girlfriend, save the messages and show them to her. Then block his ass.... (read in full...)
Will I be taken seriously in a business professional environment or in interviews because of my less-than ultra-femme appearance?
Q. okay, this isn't actually a specific relationship question, so much as it's just a general question i really need advice about. it's something that is really stressing me a great deal. i am a 28-year-old college grad with great interpersonal re...
A. 3 October 2012: You'll actually do better in the employment world as more tomboy/butch than femme.
As a largely patriarchal society, femininity is judged to be more of a "weak" or "lesser" trait, masculine traits are prized to be "better". The only jobs that mig... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have 2 inches of extra condom length at the penis tip? Am I using the condom correctly?
Q. Hello friends, This a question about proper condom usage. I am an uncircumsized guy and I am not sure if I am using a condom properly. I follow all the general steps in putting on a condom and then use a fleshlight to masturbate (http:/...
A. 23 September 2012: You're not using enough lube, the friction and pressure from the walls of the fleshlight is what's pulling on the condom. Use more lube, more than you think you need, and it should take care of the problem.... (read in full...)
Why is it that only penetrative sex does it for me?
Q. So this is a sex question, I was wondering if anyone could help me understand why I can't orgasm from anything other than vaginal sex and very rarely clitoral stimulation with fingers. Basically I've been with my partner for 3 years and we've ...
A. 22 September 2012: The clitoris that you see on the outside of your body is actually only a very tiny exposed portion of it. In reality, the clitoris has two large, spongy "legs" that nearly circle the entire vagina, and it's theorized that the "G-spot" is the ... (read in full...)
Trying to find the root of my fat fetish and get rid of it.
Q. Ive been having this fat fetish since I was 11. I fantasize people getting fatter or myself getting morbidly obese,Having a feeder or me being my own feeder,letting myself go,fat humilation. Id be afraid to do it in real life because of medical ...
A. 22 September 2012: As long as you explore your fetishes safely with your health in mind, there's no harm in it. Fetishes are largely harmless as long as they pose no serious risk to your life or anyone else's. Trust me, I'm a kinky person myself, and you're not "sick" ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wouldn't go out of his way to protect me! Should I get rid of him?
Q. this is probably really stupid but i was talking to my bf and before we hit the city, was joking about getting mugged and asked if he'd protect me. he said he wasn't going to go out of his way if it'd put himself in danger. i was like, so you'd ...
A. 12 September 2012: I think that you shouldn't punish him for being honest when you asked him a question based on sexism. As a woman, and a human being equal in worth to a man, you should feel equally responsible for "dying for him". Yet you don't, instead you choose ... (read in full...)
I just found out that the boy I like is asexual. Is it still possible for him to return my feelings?
Q. Ok, so hi everyone. I just found out that the boy I like is asexual today. Is it still possible for him to return my feelings? Honestly, his asexuality doesn't really matter to me at all. It will be a new thing if anything, since he lacks interest ...
A. 12 September 2012: Not every asexual person is alike. Some are interested in platonic romance, some aren't. You need to talk to him to make sure, because there's really no way we can tell you what he's interested in.... (read in full...)
Am I justified in feeling very upset at his refusal to apply the topical medical the Dr ordered to stop me getting more Urinary Tract infections?
Q. I recently got a urinary tract infection (UTI) and was in terrible discomfort and pain for several days. I was treated with a dose of anti-biotics and was told that my partner would also have to apply a topical medicine on his penis so that there ...
A. 9 September 2012: People treat you the way you allow them to. You eventually gave in to him. He knew you would. Stop being a doormat. He treats you like crap because you let him, so you know what to do from now on...no more giving in, no more allowing him ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my mom want me to sleep in the nude?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I'm a 14 year old girl. I like to sleep in the nude but my mom doesn't want me to. She never gives me a reason, she just objects. I started sleeping naked over the summer when it's super comfortable. What would she find wrong o...
A. 31 August 2012: She's uncomfortable with her own nudity, so she's uncomfortable with your nudity as well.
Lock your door. Sleep naked if you want to. It's your bed, and your room, and you're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong by staying cool and comforta... (read in full...)
I've had sex twice, and both times were painful. What can I do?
Q. Hi, I had sex for the first time yesterday with my boyfriend. My question is that it wasn't pleasurable for me. I expected that though because it was my first time, but we did it twice, and i still found it uncomfortable. Is there anything i can d...
A. 24 August 2012: In my opinion, sexual education is a misnomer these days. It teaches about internal anatomy and some about pregnancy prevention, but it does nothing to actually educate people about sex.
Most women don't find intercourse pleasurable because ... (read in full...)
What's my Coworkers problem?!
Q. Ok so I have been working at my job for 2 years now and so has my coworker. When we first started working there and started to get to know each other our relationship was pretty good. She would even invite me to hang out with her outside of work. As ...
A. 24 August 2012: I think it's really telling that you think she's avoiding you due to jealousy. Perhaps you really aren't as nice as you think you are, if that's really what you think.
No one is obligated to be your friend. No one is obligated to socializ... (read in full...)
Is this really a 'break'? Or is this essentially a 'break up'?
Q. My GF initiated a 'break' five days ago. She insists she loves me and sees a future with me but has lost her sense of identity during our 2+ year relationship and thinks a 'break' is the only thing to do to regain her sense of self and save ou...
A. 24 August 2012: A "break" is essentially, a "Break from the relationship". As in, a "break up". The only difference is that the person that initiates the break wants to be able to return to their ex partner whenever they cannot find something else.
The fact is,... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got very violent during our play fight. What does this mean?
Q. I got back with my boyfriend yesterday after we had been having some troubles. At the moment things seem better than ever but something very i don't know ? Out of the blue happened today. My boyfriend has recently been kicked o...
A. 20 August 2012: I would say that you should never put yourself into a situation that you can't handle. You were violent with him as much as he was violent with you, and holding him accountable solely for this situation is completely denying your own responsibility ... (read in full...)
Am I handling this right?
Q. i found out i was pregnant and has been for 3 months and 3 days. my boyfriend was on pill snorting them and recently or so i thought stop. he has been drinking more and has had a problem with drinking more and now behind my back smoking weed also. I ...
A. 20 August 2012: It's often difficult for irresponsible people to be held accountable for their actions. Of course he wants to blame everyone and anyone for his mistakes, because in order to own up to his mistakes, he has to admit that he made them in the first ... (read in full...)
I want sex all the time, and I can't climax when I'm with my girlfriend. Please help!!!
Q. Ok so, I have two problems, I'm 18 and in a relationship with a girl and have been for 2 years now and I find my libido to be annoyingly high, we are sexually active but I just find myself wanting it far too much, even when we're just sitting around ...
A. 20 August 2012: It's possible that what you might be suffering with is called "Death Grip Syndrome".
http://curedeathgrip.com/about.html... (read in full...)
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