A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my partner have been together for about 6 months. We have a great relationship and a great sexual relationship apart from one thing that really bothers me. He doesn't enjoy giving oral sex. He wants oral sex at least once a day and he gets it but I miss it. He's only gone down on me once and it takes alot for me to be able to orgasm if I don't recieve oral sex so I'm feeling more and more frustrated. What do I say to him and why wouldn't he want to do it for me?
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 I like this idea that women just LOVE going down south on their man, while for men, returning the favor might not be so enjoyable. Do men really think that women just can't wait to give their man head? That we just enjoy it for the sake of doing it? They need to get over themselves. Men have smells, pubic hair, and other uncomfortable things going on down there too, just like women.
I give my boyfriend head because I love him. I enjoy it purely because he enjoys it. And you know what? It's fair to expect the same in return. Sure, he might not feel comfortable with giving you oral sex. That's perfectly fine, because everyone has certain comfort zones when it comes to sex. But that means that you don't have to give him oral sex either. I would talk to him about how you feel, and tell him that because you give him oral, it would be nice to have the same in return every once in a while. If he continues to not supply, don't give into the demand. There are other ways for the both of you to enjoy sex other than oral. Best of luck to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): Men are scared by giving women orals. Many men see it as complicated, too many parts to work. I dont like giving oral sex too women, but if they ask i'll try. For you, try to give him some tips, where to touch you. Maybe even fake a couple of orgasms, maybe all he needs is some confidence and he'll make you orgasm all the time.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Let me clarify my "demand" statement and put it into context.
I don't agree with carte blanche demanding for specific sexual favors, especially if they go into matters of uncomfortability (i.e. threesomes, S&M if both aren't into it).
However, if one partner is regularly expecting oral sex but isn't willing to reciprocate, the other partner has the right to say "Hey! This is a two-way street here!"
Oral sex is as much of an acquired taste for a woman as it is for a man. Men can have strong odors as well, especially if they've been eating garlic or haven't washed properly or was recently working out.
Let me reiterate - if someone is uncomfortable with performing a specific sex act, they have every right to be respected. However, to deny a sex act and then require the same sex act to be done to them daily is ridiculous and selfish. The OP here has every right to say "None for you until I get some too."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): "wants oral sex at least once a day"
Well, it's selfish to want what you won't give yourself.
He needs to learn that.
Maybe it has to do with the way you communicate about sex.
He needs to learn to do it well enough that he likes it because of the self satisfaction he will get from giving you satisfaction. Really, seriously, nothing strokes a man's ego like a woman telling him (honestly and openly) that he gave her the best orgasm she ever had.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): Well, he's obviously being selfish. You should confront him about that.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (10 December 2010):
"He doesn't enjoy giving oral sex"
If he genuinely doesn't enjoy giving oral sex then there is no point trying to DEMAND it from him. That seems a little unfair, and not really good for a great relationship.
It's definitely worth asking him though what he doesn't like about it. Maybe you could suggest something like shaving it all off (if you're not already) or doing it when you have got straight out of the shower. That way you can find out what he doesn't like about it. Or it might just be that he just doesn't like it, which is a fair point. Anyhows, he's a lucky guy receiving oral every day. Very lucky - haha.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 December 2010):
He wants oral sex at least once a day and he gets it??
It's easy to get more oral sex from him. Demand your satisfaction first. He may not like to give oral sex, but he sure as hell loves receiving it.
If he says he wants it, just say "I sure will AFTER you give it to me."
For some people, oral sex is an acquired taste that takes getting used to. There are things that you can do to make it easier for him to get used to it, but don't let him get away with not even trying.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (10 December 2010):
 dmartin89 nailed it here.
My advice would be that when you talk to him about it, do your best to stay calm. If he feels like you're attacking him for this it will likely cause a fight as he'll get defensive. Explain to him why you like it, how it makes you feel when he doesn't do it but still wants you to do it to him, and what you would like from him going forward.
I hope you're able to find a compromise! In the mean time, I would cut out giving if you aren't receiving. I'm not a big fan of double standards though.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (10 December 2010):
 The only way you can find this out is to ask him.
From experience, people don't like giving oral to women if they have a strong odour, are too hairy, have stubble. Some just don't like doing it. It's the same as women not liking to give blow jobs, some people just arnt into it.
Ask him, then go from there.
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