A
female
age
36-40,
*avannahbronx
writes:I had protected sex during my ovulation week. I had a lot to drink that night and it was a big mistake. But at least we used a condom and correctly. But i have a boyfriend that i had been trying to have a child with. And we have unprotected sex all the tme.we have 1 other child all ready. Right now i am about 10 weeks preg and would like to know if anyone can tell me who the father is? I know how this sounds but ive been killing myself for about a month now. Please help and only mature answers. I feel bad enough as it is. Thanks to all that reply
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): if you're sure the sex was wit a condom used correctly den i doubt d dude is the father but all d same u can only be sure wit a dna test, dnt kill urself over it
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2010):
 The mature and obvious answer is that no one can determine who fathered the baby. That would require a DNA test.
The probabilities favor your boyfriend being the father. But it's not 100%.
What would a mature and thoughtful woman do about this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): You had a lot to drink, so I can see why you're unsure because condoms aren't 100% even less so when drunk.
Try not to worry about it now, there's nothing you can do until it's born. Then you can get a dna test done, I'm not sure if it's legal to steal your partners dna and get it tested without his knowledge but if it is then it's easy to do.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (8 December 2010):
It's more than likely that if you have been trying to have a baby with your bf and you had protected sex the one time, then your bf is more than likely the father.
If you don't want to tell your partner then track it back to find out your due date and then calculate your conception date. You will need to know the first day of your last period. There are websites on the internet that will calculate it for you.
If that doesn't work, then the only way to tell for sure is to get genetic testing done.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 December 2010):
 No one here has an Magic 8 ball who can tell you exactly who the father is.
The only way to TRULY know who the father is, is to do a DNA test.
You will HAVE to tell your BF. He deserves to know.
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A
female
reader, MissLM  +, writes (8 December 2010):
Chances are, if you cheated just the once and it was protected sex, and you have unprotected sex with your partner all the time.....the odds are stacked very very favourably in your partners favour as far as being the dad is concerned.
There is no point confessing all to alleviate your guilty conscience, you will devastate your partner, most likely wreck your relationship and there is a good possibility you would be left raising two kids on your own.
So, keep quiet and get on with things. The guilt and doubt will probably never leave you. But that is your punishment for a silly mistake, and it is punishment enough.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Most probably the boyfriend who you have had unprotected sex with. The rate at which condoms fail is 10-18% so it is much less probable. I recommend you tell your boyfriend, say it was an accident and go to get tested for fathers. if it simply doesn't match the boyfriend then apologize.
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A
male
reader, FreshPrince  +, writes (8 December 2010):
When used correctly a condom can be 98% effective
http://www.condomeffectiveness.com/
Having experienced both protected and unprotected, i would highly advise a contraceptive pill for future reference.Although, consulatation should be gotten first as they do have some side affects.
Assuming you had protected sex, your partner would almost definately be the father. For clarity of mind, a test would be needed. But i cant imagine how you could get your boyfriends dna sample with out arousing suspicion. Clearly, this is not a good idea.
If you still have contact with your infidelous partner, (the drunken incident) it may be a good idea to inform him assuming he's far beyond your partners social circle, hes unlikey to tell anyone. Clarity of mind could be found here. Only a possible suggestion, by no means an appropriate one.
I think you should be perfectly ok. Your bearing another child, some women want this more than anything. You should inform your partner of your pregnancy, if having not done so already. Obviously he will discover this at some stage. There is no need to inform him of doubt in terms of the biological father, unless you wish to do so.
I wish you the best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Fragtagonal +, writes (8 December 2010):
The smart move? If the guy you cheated on and your boyfriend look similar, just don't tell him. 1 in 25 men are raising someone else's child unknowingly. You'll probably never be found out and can simple go about your life the way it is. Hell, you could get a paternity test with just the other guy's DNA. If his doesn't match then its definitely your husband's.
The dumb move? Tell your boyfriend. Get a paternity test. Apologize profusely. Deal with the fallout and deal with him not trusting you for a while, and risk losing him forever.
Now if you chose the smart choice, you don't deserve to be with your boyfriend. You don't deserve to be with anyone for that matter. If you honestly believe that you should lie about this, then you do not love your boyfriend enough to tell him the truth, and are acting selfishly, but claiming to lie for the sake of the relationship. You need to tell him.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (8 December 2010):
Sounds like you will need to get a DNA test to know for sure.
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