A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend has a daughter and he and i have been together for 5 years. Do u think its appropriate for him to buy the kid's mom a mother's day gift? is it ok for me to feel a little jealous over that?
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female
reader, Padisha +, writes (26 December 2010):
I think it's ok when the children are too little to shop for the mother. But when they become teenagers then the father should stay out of it. I know a man who still buys his ex Christmas and birthday gifts. His son is 16 & daughter is 20. I don't agree with that at all. We have only talked on the phone for 2 yrs and this man has never sent me so much as a card in the mail but he goes shopping for his ex. Making sure he got her a shirt that was blue and white so she could wear it to work. I didn't say a whole lot about it but it bothers me that he made her a priority and not me. He claims he loves me & wants to see me yet I wasn't on his list of people to buy for but his ex and kids were. So I do agree with Mother's Day gifts when kids are little and beyond that NO!
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (15 December 2010):
 Unless he has more affectionate gifts than a card for her, then I wouldn't worry about it. I would actually be proud of my guy for showing the mother of his children that much respect and dignity. He is also showing his children a good way to be. Most guys just forget about the mother of their children and don't give her a second thought.
I wouldn't worry about it. He has been with you for the past five years and there is a reason for that.
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A
female
reader, SceneXaddicted +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I think it is perfectly fine. I agree with the other users, its about respect. Also, without her, he would never have his daughter.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I think it is very appropriate for him to buy his child's mother a mother's day gift.
And apart from that I would go along with what 'Youwish" has said.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): Yeah, I think it's natural for you to feel a little jealous, so don't be hard on yourself for those feelings. But, as long as he is not buying his ex Christmas, birthday, or any other gifts, try to see the Mother's Day gift just as a way of him thanking his ex for taking good good care the children. If the rest of your relationship is going well, and there are no other signs of intimacy with the ex, I would respect him for it. He is buying a gift to honor a "Mother" of his children, and not to honor his ex-wife.
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A
female
reader, meetmetme +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I think as long as he buys a gift from their child for her, no biggie. He shouldn't make it too personal, though. A year round "good term" relationship is best for the child and these "niceties" are included. But if you have doubts, ask him.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (15 December 2010):
It's appropriate depending on your relationship and the nature of their relationship. It sounds to me like it could be harmless. Maybe he is just a decent guy who still cares about her (but not in a way that is inappropriate).
It is also quite normal to feel a little jealous. Is it something you can talk to him about? I'm sure he could reassure you very easily if he knew you felt a bit uncomfortable. I guess you just need a bit of reassurance than anything else.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I might be in the minority on this one, but unless the gift is accompanied by other acts of affection, frequent unnecesarry contact or obvious flirting, I think it's actually a really honorable thing to show respect for the mother of his kids. Too many times, the mother of his kids is discarded and mistreated by the exes.
I wouldn't feel jealous unless there are other signs of a too-close relationship, like frequent lunch/dinner dates, evasive behavior by him when it comes to her, and lots of contact that has nothing to do with raising their kids.
Otherwise, to me it would be a sign to me that this guy is definitely a keeper since he respects the mother of his children and loves his kids enough to appreciate the raising of them by their mother.
Keep in mind - there's a reason why he isn't with the mom and he IS with you for 5 years. He loves you.
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