BF spending lots of time helping ex-wife during her cancer. Where should I draw the line?
Q. hi everyone , well i ve been wit my boyfriend 5 yers now , things were going well up untill his ex wife caught cancer . now it feels like he s more interested in her an wants to help her out an is running up an down to hospitals , he also has two ...
A. 1 July 2011: It is HIS decision. Let him make it.... (read in full...)
BF spending lots of time helping ex-wife during her cancer. Where should I draw the line?
Q. hi everyone , well i ve been wit my boyfriend 5 yers now , things were going well up untill his ex wife caught cancer . now it feels like he s more interested in her an wants to help her out an is running up an down to hospitals , he also has two ...
A. 30 June 2011: He should should do what ever he thinks is best for his kids.... (read in full...)
His aunt is a wall between me and my boyfriend.....what should I do?
Q. Hey everyone! So I have this situation that I definitely need advice on. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and he lives with his aunt. It's a very complicated story as to why, but anyway she's such a pain! She's really stuck-up...
A. 27 June 2011: Sadly, if HE does not want to do anything to change his life for the better for HIMSELF, he is not going to do it for you either.
You are young and have SOOO many opportunties ahead of you.... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to move out?
Q. How do I get my boyfriend to move out without the police or having to change the locks he has sort of a temper and I dont wont to set him off: Hello My boyfriend and I live together now for 6 months when he first moved in everything was g...
A. 24 June 2011: Talk to your landlord about changing the locks if the ex gives you grief. Hopefully it will not be a problem.
While I own the home my ex and I lived in together, he was horrible about moving out. I had to realize that he is not going to be expec... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's best friend is another man. Should I let her go, knowing that she will always be confiding and trusting in another man more than me?
Q. My girlfriend has told me that her VERY BEST FRIEND is another man. They have been best friends for over 30 years. They frequently interact via text, phone calls, email, and Facebook. (He is currently divorced and living halfway across the country) ...
A. 23 June 2011: If my bf asked me to end ANY friendship what was meaningful and healthy to me, he would no longer be dating ME.
That is a LONG friendship and you asked too much.
If you can not deal with her past and her friendship with another male-let her go.... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to move out?
Q. How do I get my boyfriend to move out without the police or having to change the locks he has sort of a temper and I dont wont to set him off: Hello My boyfriend and I live together now for 6 months when he first moved in everything was g...
A. 23 June 2011: Did you get the residence together? Did one of you move in first? You already suggested he moved out, thus you have let him know the relationship is done, right? He is having YOU go online to get applications for other places? Why are you do... (read in full...)
Am I right in being mad at him? What should I do?
Q. Hello, i just asked a recent question on this topic but its got worse, so this guy who has fancied me and my freind for ages, he sent both of us they same sweet texts and called us babe and put loads of kisses at the end of each text he always told ...
A. 23 June 2011: I think since this is a YOUNG boy, who is not your bf, whom you are NOT dating is perfectly fine to be flirting and dating other girls. He had no obligation. You fancied him and he chose your friend. I am sure that hurts. Young boys are fickle ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont attend any occasions that my second ex will be at! What can I do?
Q. I have a girlfriend of 1.5 yrs now. I also have a couple of ex's and three kids. Two from my first and one from my second. The kids from my second wife are friends and are close. The kids have known her for a long time. I am friends with my second ...
A. 23 June 2011: Making sure I understand this correctly.
One of your exwives is friends with your adult children that are not biologically hers. You have supported this.
I assume that this exwife, since you said she is like a Second Mom, was part of their pa... (read in full...)
I feel awful for dating and being dumped by such an young guy!!
Q. I am with a guy 8 years younger to me for the past few months. Initially everything went well, but lately he started hanging out with his friends more and his freinds are not happy about us cause of the age diff. For the past two days he didnt call ...
A. 23 June 2011: Breaking up sucks. It hurts. We feel bad.
Learn from the experience and do not date such immature guys!
Feel glad that he did not waste any MORE of your time!
Get up, dust yourself off, and live life again.
The best revenge is the w... (read in full...)
My partner treats me more like a friend and not his GF. Can this relationship survive with no intimacy?
Q. Confusing Boyfriend! My partner and I have been together for a year, he used to be quite an afectionate guy, lots of hugging etc and our sex life used to quite good. Things have changed so much so fast, I have confronted him and asked why these ...
A. 23 June 2011: Sex and affection is not everything in a healthy, balanced relationship, but when it is missing entirely, it becomes everything! Coal Miners used to take canaries into mines with them to determine if dangerous gases were present that could kill ... (read in full...)
Not in love with wife, but lover says she wants to have child with her boyfriend, and no longer wants sex!
Q. I am in quite a complicated relationship, let me explain: 1. I am a married man, no kids 2. In a relationship with a woman 7 years older to me who is living with another man. 3. We work toghether, earlier in the same team now in different teams...
A. 23 June 2011: """I have just one confsion...when things were going good with this girl I was very nice to everyone including my wife! For example when I spent an evening with this GF..i was in such a good mood that I would be loving with my wife..and even more ... (read in full...)
After breaking up with me, my ex responded to an ad for a cougar party, which has fat, ugly women!! How do I get past this and come out on the other end? Do I email him or call him to see if he is ok, as I feel he has gone off the rails!
Q. I am hurt. Very hurt. After breaking up with someone 2 months ago after 3 years and 3 months of an on/off relationship (with no one else for either of us in the off time - the off's did not last long with him wanting to make things right each time) ...
A. 23 June 2011: He is your ex. He is not your problem anymore. You had a dysfunctional relationship with a dysfunctional person who is still doing dysfunctional things. Go make YOUR life function and stay out of his mess of a life. Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
Please help me save my marriage...
Q. My wife and I have been together for 16 years, married for 13 years. During this time we got along well in a day-to-day sense, but 5 years into the marriage she moved out of our apartment and into an apartment of her own. The ostensible reaso...
A. 23 June 2011: I have a slightly different take on this.
You have had this problem a LONG time. First, let me narrow down the facts.
Known each other 16 years
Married for 13 years
She moved OUT after 5 years of marriage.
Years later, your income allo... (read in full...)
Not in love with wife, but lover says she wants to have child with her boyfriend, and no longer wants sex!
Q. I am in quite a complicated relationship, let me explain: 1. I am a married man, no kids 2. In a relationship with a woman 7 years older to me who is living with another man. 3. We work toghether, earlier in the same team now in different teams...
A. 22 June 2011: """I hope this aspect of not wanting to leave as the loser makes sense, but isn't this critical for your self esteem? I want to be the one to tell her "please do not keep in touch with me my new girl does not like it""" You do not have a marriage ... (read in full...)
Am I sick or evil for wishing bad things for my ex?
Q. ok, I hate myself right now. my ex was manipulative and lied and was insensitive and we broke up and now i look at her facebook page and see she is having fun, traveling with some new guy in Florida. and i cannot help but wish her BAD. i am je...
A. 22 June 2011: You may not be nuts, but you DO have a lot of unresolved hurt and anger. Wishing her wrong will only keep you stuck and nipping at your wounds; not allowing them to HEAL.
Get therapy if you need to grieve the loss of the relationship. The only... (read in full...)
When and how should you ask if you two are "exclusive"?
Q. So, when is it appropriate to ask, or at least hint, that you would like to be exclusive with someone you are dating? I ask because I have been dating a guy I met online for about three and a half weeks. We've been on four awesome, awesome...
A. 22 June 2011: I will give you the best dating advice anyone has ever given me and it saves me SO much from being frustrated. I wish I learned this when I was younger.
First, since there IS no commitment. DO date others or at least keep looking. Why? because ... (read in full...)
Am I delusional and overreacting, or is my boyfriend treating me badly? What should I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. We have an 8 year age gap and sometimes I feel like that makes me behave childishly. We met at work and clicked straight away. We have so much in common. We started dating and I had family problems...
A. 22 June 2011: I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. We have an 8 year age gap and sometimes I feel like that makes me behave childishly.
The age gap does not make you act childishly. You act that way because you want to. You are in control of your ... (read in full...)
Do I contact him or just leave him to sweat it out?
Q. I have been going out with this guy for 10 months and we are living together in my house. I absolutley adore him and he adores me. We had a row on tuesday morning. the problem is he has had this cough/cold for the last 2 week. I have got him tablets ...
A. 22 June 2011: You are rude and angry because..
1-You are tired from lack of sleep and caring for a sick baby!
2-Frustrated because a grown adult refuses to see medical care. A cold lasting longer than 2 weeks is NOT normal. If he has continuing fever... (read in full...)
His aunt is a wall between me and my boyfriend.....what should I do?
Q. Hey everyone! So I have this situation that I definitely need advice on. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and he lives with his aunt. It's a very complicated story as to why, but anyway she's such a pain! She's really stuck-up...
A. 22 June 2011: Ok, you do NOT have an Aunt problem. You have a BF problem.
If he is UNWILLING as a now legal adult to change his lifestyle (IE move out or stand up to her) then the situation will not change.
Is he financially dependant on her?
Is she dep... (read in full...)
Why do men do this?
Q. Hi I have the same problem with men all the time My friends tell me Im good looking, fun to be around, very smart the only problem I have is with men Like the last guy I was with we had been going out for a few months and when I slept with hi...
A. 22 June 2011: I would say there is something that changes between you and that man after sex becomes involved.
How was the relationship PRIOR to becoming sexually involved?
Why do you feel dirty and used? You are a grown woman and had sex willingly too.
... (read in full...)
What is the truth about aging men, and their sex drives?
Q. There are so many confusion about middle age man. I would like to know what is the truth. All middle age man have some change in their sex drive, and general sexual function, or there are man, who are not affected at all? They talk about man, who ...
A. 22 June 2011: You have a few things that effect male libido.
1-General Physical Health.
2-Mental Health
3-Genetics
Some men do have high libidos their entire lives, but age DOES taper it down over time.
Each man is a unique person, with their own c... (read in full...)
I don't like her dating the boy she is dating.
Q. My daughter is 16, 4.0 student, musically gifted, volunteers, involved in many clubs, self driven and goal oriented, very attractive and has a good heart. But I don't like her dating the boy she is dating. I don't know what to do here. I allowed ...
A. 22 June 2011: Also, consider you daughters self esteem. What is she getting FROM this boy that would make her WANT to continue the relationship?
... (read in full...)
I don't like her dating the boy she is dating.
Q. My daughter is 16, 4.0 student, musically gifted, volunteers, involved in many clubs, self driven and goal oriented, very attractive and has a good heart. But I don't like her dating the boy she is dating. I don't know what to do here. I allowed ...
A. 21 June 2011: It really should be up to her Father since the bf decided to intrude. Talk to her Dad and ask him HOW he feels.
Decide as a parenting TEAM how to approach telling your daughter that you are no longer comfortable with her relationship, and sinc... (read in full...)
Co-worker taking a lot of interest in me. He has a girlfriend - what is going on?
Q. soo...it's been 2 years that i've met my collegue and work together very closely on the same projects and also travel 2gether a lot. i started to like him however he has a girlfriend for about 3 years. latetly he's saying that his relationship is ...
A. 21 June 2011: I suspect he wants to see what his OTHER options are if/when he breaks up with his gf.
Some guys are like monkies. They want to have another banana to before they throw away the peel of the one they are done with...
My advice, do not date peop... (read in full...)
I'm not sure myself how I feel about this yet, as I'm in shock. Should I wait until I've worked out whether I wish to keep the possible baby before speaking to my bf?
Q. Hey, I really need some advice...I'm 30, been with my bf for 9 months and love him dearly. We don't live together, but he's talked about wanting us to 'settle down', get married and start a family in the next couple of years, but today I took a ...
A. 21 June 2011: Yes, wait until you have a positive confirmation from the Doctor. Once you have the news, look for the best time to discuss the results with your bf.
I doubt dieting would effect any fetal development, unless you have been taking weight loss med... (read in full...)
It sucks that I can't be friends with my boyfriend's friend!
Q. Hello everyone, I have been struggling with a question and need to hear some opinions from others. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a good number of years. Four years ago, he started a job in a different country (halfway across ...
A. 21 June 2011: Where in the relationship rule book does it say all a boyfriends friends (male or female) must like you and befriend you?
All they need to do is ACCEPT and HONOUR your relationship.
You already told your bf how you feel about her. You feel s... (read in full...)
Girl I am dating drives me crazy by calling everyone "honey", "darling" and "baby"!!
Q. this may sound stupid but i cant help it that it is driving me crazy. this girl i am dating for 5 months is really getting to me because she calls people she knows casually things like "baby", "honey", "sweetheart", "love" and "darling"!! i'm ...
A. 21 June 2011: Yes, you are over the top. She probably had this habit BEFORE you and will after you. You are being uptight!
Does she TREAT you special? Does she HONOR your relationship with actions more than words?
Buttercake does not make you more special... (read in full...)
My partner of 3 years never believes a word I say. Ever.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I hope you can give me some insight to this. My partner of 3 years never believes a word I say. Ever. I have never cheated on him but he doesn't believe me if I tell him what I did at the weekend/evening or even ...
A. 21 June 2011: Calling you a liar, when you have no history of lying with him...is a form of abuse and a sign of HIS insecurity.
If you know HE is lying, he could be doing what psychologists call "transferance" which is a way of shifting the blame/guilt from him... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my stepbrother! What should I do?
Q. My dad is marrying a gal with 2 boys and 1 girl, she is pregnant with my half brother.I am in love with my stepbrother but my other little stepbrother and stepsister have caught us together and now they threaten to tell my dad. It would destroy my ...
A. 21 June 2011: Is there a female family friend you trust that you can talk to?
Dear, you are so young and while he is not your flesh relative; he is your brother by marriage.
If having a romance would destroy your family-and you care about your family...th... (read in full...)
No sex and no money is pushing me to break up with him!
Q. Dear Cupid's agony aunts and uncles I need your wisdom and advice I moved in with my fiancé of three years. we chose to move in to a new flat and were very happy to begin with apart from the obvious stresses of moving. this is my first time living a...
A. 21 June 2011: Nothing wrong with you. You are just raising a brat.
Oh wait, you are not his Mom, you are his gf?
He sounds very immature and not anywhere NEAR being a responsible, functioning adult.
The relationship does not work for BOTH of you.
... (read in full...)
My wife slept with my best friend before I dated her and its on my mind day and night.
Q. It sounds silly but here it is. my wife dated my best friend before me. Its been almost 20 years and i cant get over the fact that he had sex with her.I dont understand how my mind works. my wife and i have swung with other couples when we were ...
A. 21 June 2011: I find the best way to tackle my IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS is to bomb them with RATIONAL FACTS.
Focus on what IS there, instead of what no longer exists.
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
BF wants to keep engagement proposal on the DL with my family. What is going on here?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years just proposed but is acting strange. He says he doesn't want a lot of attention and although his family knows, he is keeping it on the down low. He hasn't told any friends and it seems like he is avoiding my family....and ...
A. 21 June 2011: Have you told him what you imagined being engaged would be like? Find a balance.
An engagement IS the public announcement of your intent to marry.
What are his expecations of "a lot of attention"?
What does it mean to enjoy the engage... (read in full...)
Is the fact that I am seperated with 3 kids why he has not asked for my number?
Q. I have a met a guy that is six years younger than me and I am 28. We have met up and hung out at a bar enjoyed each others company for the night and left the next morning. He has never asked for my phone number and I know he is very attracted to ...
A. 21 June 2011: Flirting and being attracted to someone is not enough to want to ask them out. ... (read in full...)
How do I handle it when my gf ignores and then hurts my feelings?
Q. My gf and I are long distance a the moment and we are meeting in august. I'm stressed because I feel like when we aren't on the phone and just texting she acts completely different, almost like an asshole. If I text her long messages trying to get ...
A. 21 June 2011: Relationships by text are doomed to fail. Texts do not show facial expressions, tone, etc. They are often misinterpreted and unsatisfactory.
Relationships are hard anyway..you are making it harder by having a LDR by text. How can you feel clo... (read in full...)
BF spending lots of time helping ex-wife during her cancer. Where should I draw the line?
Q. hi everyone , well i ve been wit my boyfriend 5 yers now , things were going well up untill his ex wife caught cancer . now it feels like he s more interested in her an wants to help her out an is running up an down to hospitals , he also has two ...
A. 21 June 2011: I think you would handle the situation better IF you had some compassion towards her illness.
Your BF and she have two kids together? Well, then that is the Mother of his children.
You may not have forgiven her for what she did in the past,... (read in full...)
Can wife's medication cause her sex drive to increase?
Q. hi my wife has been on anti depresent medication since christmas. they have made here feel good however during the time she was on them her sexual behavour changed and she just loved it. not that i an complaining as it was me who cuased her to be...
A. 21 June 2011: She could also just be feeling better from taking the antidepressants. A woman in a better mood will feel like showing more affection.
Maybe in contrast to when she was down...this time seems like a honeymoon!
Feel blessed. Most people on a... (read in full...)
Will watching porn with my wife damage our relationship? Or is it a good thing?
Q. is it a good thing for a husband and wife to watch porn together? are there any good benefits from watching it together or will it cause harm in our marriage.my wife and i have been doing this every now and then. thanks for any replies ....
A. 21 June 2011: As long as your wife agrees to the content of the porn and you agree how to stop if she is uncomfortable.
There is something for everyone. If she has never watched porn before, make sure you are not throwing some deeply kinky hardcore stuff at... (read in full...)
What does a guy mean when he still wants to be close to you but refuses to have sex?!
Q. What does a guy mean when, after many years of chasing after you and making out that all he wants is sex with you or something of a sexual nature, he one day says 'I don't want to have sex with you,I know it may be hard to understand but I don't.' ...
A. 21 June 2011: He changed his mind. Maybe he got tired of the chase, but decided he still liked the friendship.
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
The fiance and pornographic material
Q. I have a question and maybe someone could answer for me. I am engaged to a wonderful man. It took us awile to get where we're at right now. I moved in with my fiance back in January. He gave me his email password to show me that I could trust ...
A. 21 June 2011: I agree with your fiance. LET THIS GO.
First, you do not NEED to understand everything that goes on in your fiance's head. He is entitled to however he chooses to view his email. I believe it is entirely possible to not know entirely what a b... (read in full...)
BF blames me for his temper. He blackmails me to stay with him. What can I do?
Q. actually I have a serious matter my ex boyfriend used to abuse me mentally physically verbally and emotionally ,,I put restraint order on him and yet he violated it after few weeks then now he contacts me every time we break up after a huge trouble ...
A. 21 June 2011: Is it possible he could be lying about the videos or the pictures? Do you know who would he show these to?
What would be the worst thing that could happen from people seeing these videos?
It sounds like the WORST thing that could happen sto... (read in full...)
Can wife's medication cause her sex drive to increase?
Q. hi my wife has been on anti depresent medication since christmas. they have made here feel good however during the time she was on them her sexual behavour changed and she just loved it. not that i an complaining as it was me who cuased her to be...
A. 20 June 2011: Do not question it..just enjoy!... (read in full...)
Living in a foreign country and about to return home, my ex has asked if I can buy her some jewellery which she will pay for - shall I buy it? Should I tell my wife?
Q. Hi guys, I have been living in a foreign country for two years with my wife and plan to return to our home country soon. Yesterday, my ex surprised me with a call asking me to buy her some jewellery but made it very clear she would pay for it. I ...
A. 20 June 2011: No.
Enough Said.... (read in full...)
Is my ex to blame for my low self esteem?
Q. Well the situation is that I have been going out with this lad for just over 2 months. We were set up by our best friends who thought we would go well together. I was very badly hurt in my previous relationship with my ex which lasted 4-5 months. ...
A. 20 June 2011: The simple answer: Yes and No.
While others can effect how we perceive our own self worth-it is ultimately up to US to determine our own worth. You are in charge of your own feelings.
Other insight:
"That was about 8 months ago, but I st... (read in full...)
Is he just rubbing salt into my wounds?
Q. Hi am just looking for some advice really and im hoping someone could help me. I have a male friend who ive been friends with for 8 years. Im 26 he is 30.Longstory short i met him through a friend, she was dating him at the time. I havent seen this ...
A. 20 June 2011: I call those kind of confusing relationships "relafriendships". The guy does not seem to know what he wants and it seems like you are either constantly waiting or tugging on him to make a move.
He will not. He likes you and keeps you in the the ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my girlfriend, in love with the other woman and my girlfriend is pregnant!
Q. I am in a sad situation and don't know what to do. In October of last year I met a woman on the internet. We started seeing each other and things were going well. I thought I was falling in love with her. Then a monkey wrench came alone in the form ...
A. 20 June 2011: At this point, I am honestly laughing. Have you NOT heard of birth control buddy?
Did you think mere love was going to protect you from complications and unwanted pregnancies? How niave.
Reveal the truth to both women. Own the mess. THAT ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my girlfriend, in love with the other woman and my girlfriend is pregnant!
Q. I am in a sad situation and don't know what to do. In October of last year I met a woman on the internet. We started seeing each other and things were going well. I thought I was falling in love with her. Then a monkey wrench came alone in the form ...
A. 16 June 2011: There is no help here. You were having sexual relationships with TWO different women at the same time. You were cheating too.
You were an irresponsible man. Now you have an obligation to your unborn child.
Be a man and tell the gf you have ... (read in full...)
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