A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I really need some advice...I'm 30, been with my bf for 9 months and love him dearly. We don't live together, but he's talked about wanting us to 'settle down', get married and start a family in the next couple of years, but today I took a pregnancy test and it is positive, despite me being on the contraceptive pill. I've been feeling nauseous for a couple of weeks, with breast tenderness, so I guess it adds up.So now I'm really worried and don't know what to do. I've never been pregnant before! I'm going to see my family doctor to confirm the pregnancy (or not) tomorrow, but I don't know when/how/if to tell my bf. He's working a night shift tonight, and going to a funeral tomorrow. I'm thinking I should wait until the family doctor confirms it before saying anything...what would you do? I'm not sure myself how I feel about this yet, as I'm in shock. Should I wait until I've worked out whether I wish to keep the possible baby before speaking to my bf? I don't want to add to the pressure on him. Part of me is scared as it feels way to soon for us to be having a baby, but part of me thinks I am getting old and this could be a blessing...Also, as I didn't know I was (possibly) pregnant, I've actually been dieting recently and am scared this may have affected the (possible) baby's development...Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
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female
reader, Smileypants  +, writes (22 June 2011):
 Aww, it will all be OK :)
I'm going to agree, yes get confirmation from the dr. If you're taking weight loss pills, stop.
And for crying out loud, tell your boyfriend!! You need his support and counsel more than ever. You say you've discussed marriage with him? Well a child that belongs to both of you is as good a reason as any to come together and be a unit.
Good luck to you, and let us know!
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (22 June 2011):
 I would wait for positive confirmation from your doctor. If you need additional support, however, I would tell your boyfriend as soon as possible and enlist his company when you go to the doctors.
Since the baby is partially his, I think it is imperative to include him in any decisions that you make -- if you guys are planning a future together as husband / wife, it is best to start acting like a "team" now. You are going to need his support -- regardless of what you do -- and the sooner you involve him, the better. His input will help you come to a decision on what to do next.
As far as dieting goes, talk to your doctor if the tests do come out positive. He may be able to run additional tests to determine the health of the baby. For now, I'd ditch any diet supplements you may be taking and return to eating a normal calorie diet so that you can sustain the health of your child.
Congratulations and good luck!
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (21 June 2011):
 Yes, wait until you have a positive confirmation from the Doctor. Once you have the news, look for the best time to discuss the results with your bf.
I doubt dieting would effect any fetal development, unless you have been taking weight loss medications. Discuss that with your Doctor. Until then, just try to stay relaxed and calm.
Wait until you have the facts, stay calm, and discuss with him.
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