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... Send *uttyGooner a private message | | | *uttyGooner's profile:Hi there,
I am a 24 year old, who has lived the London life and have moved home to be closer to my bf. I work 2 jobs, life can be tough, but it's my choice to :o)
What makes me qualified to talk about relationships?
I am the product of a crappy relationship, and know first hand what the long term effects a bad relationship has on kids (Ever said "you should stay together for the sake of the kids"? or "I know it's hard, but you should try again as a child needs a mother and a father"? - God, I hate that, it's so bloody patronising! I know and believe differently).
I have had quite a few relationships of one form or another, some long term, some very short lived.
Relationships where I have tried to make things work despite a cheating, lies and a heavy work overload, ("I thought we were going to be together forever, he keeps cheating on me, but I don't know why I kept taking him back" - yup, that one!).
One guy I met once over the internet which refused to take no for an answer ("Why won't he accept that I don't want a relationship? All I said was that he is a nice guy and he will meet a nice girl - I didn't mean me!" - God, did that freak me out!)
An older guy who treated me like a princess, but when it came to the crunch and things got heavy - I ran a mile (not because I didn't care about the guy, I just wasn't ready for that level of commitment)!
A long distance relationship - which in the end resulted in me throwing caution to the wind and moving nearer the guy, which has resulted in me being happy (not only because of the relationship, but by making friends and being happy in what I do too!).
When I put put my answer in, I add my empathy, as well as my two cents. I have had friends cry on my shoulder, I've had a "burning party" - by which throwing tokens and reminders of exes on a fire - or a barbeque (depending on the unpredictable British weather) - but generally having a giggle and learning.
Which is one thing that definately makes me qualified to talk about relationships - I make mistakes, but I am always learning from them, and reading other people's responses help me to evolve.
Whatever my response, you don't have to listen to it, hell, you don't have to like it - I'm not here to be liked. I just write impartially, and what has worked for me! |
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Planning on doing "it" tonight... but should I trim first?
Q. Im 14 and planning on having sex at a house party. It is my first time and I was just wondering if anyone knows if teenage boys prefer shaved or natural hairs? Please reply asap as the house party is tonight and I would like to know. so i can ...
A. 2 March 2007: Sorry Lana - I disagree,
I'm not prepared to give advice to incite someone to break the law. Would you put someone in touch with the right person if they wanted to hire a contract killer?
Thought not.
It's called being responsible. ... (read in full...)
Should I remain indifferent and see if they would make the first move?
Q. When I was young, I found that some girls showed interest in me when i acted indifferent to them. As an adult, I am still living in a dilemma whether I should express my interest to them first or remain indifferent and wait for them to make a move. ...
A. 1 March 2007: Why wait? Go to a red light district and just pay for it?
No hang ups about first move, no conversation, just souless sex by the hour.
What? You want a freebie? Then I'm sorry to disappoint, you are going to have to at least hold a conversat... (read in full...)
I bought her some Valentines gifts but things didn't work out between us and now I don't know what to do with all these gifts. Any suggestions?
Q. I bought some gifts for my valentine. on the day we disagreed and I have given up on her love because it looks like she will never express her love to me. the question is what do I do with the presents. I cannot return them as the store wont accept ...
A. 1 March 2007: Oxfam or Ebay?
It depends on how much better altruism will make you feel!... (read in full...)
Planning on doing "it" tonight... but should I trim first?
Q. Im 14 and planning on having sex at a house party. It is my first time and I was just wondering if anyone knows if teenage boys prefer shaved or natural hairs? Please reply asap as the house party is tonight and I would like to know. so i can ...
A. 1 March 2007: You'll have a better time afterwards by just saying "no".
At least you won't get branded the shcool bike for years to come, you'll have some dignity and - it might sound daft to you - but guys respect girls who don't give it away with a can of S... (read in full...)
Worried that when he does hurt her, she'll come crawling back to me, and, being a gullible old fool, I'll take her back!
Q. I use an intenet chat service from time to time; I met a girl on there in September(ish) (virtually met) and we both agreed to go out on a date (this was in November). However, she said she couldn't get down (she lives in Yorkshire) because of work ...
A. 1 March 2007: Hang on, hold fire, whoah there, Mr!
You're over analyzing something very simple!
First - this girl doesn't want to know and is seeing someone else. She has been honest and said she is seeing this other guy, she has let you know in the kind... (read in full...)
I haven't had a period since January 2006 - does this mean I'm pregnant?
Q. I was suppose to get my period during February, but its the end of the month and i still don't have it. I mostly get it every other month. My last menstrual period was last January of 2006. Does this mean i'm pregnant? ...
A. 1 March 2007: Don't stress about it, my periods are about as regular as a Milton Keynes bus!
Feb's a short month remember, and fretting about it will make your body go all out of goose!... (read in full...)
He says I'm fat, wants to leave me and wants to have sex with other women... but I love him, what do I do?
Q. hi me and my bf are together for 8years now.a year ago he started to swear at me then he changed alot towards me he got very rude and had a bad temper, he gets angry quickly. He told my yesterday he actually wants to leave me coz its my fault he ...
A. 1 March 2007: Hi there,
Here's my advice to you - get rid of this tosser! He has no respect for you, and is constantly insulting you to the point where you are actually starting to believe his bull!
He is bored and is acting in an immature way, and he prob... (read in full...)
Am I trying to win a losing battle here?
Q. my bf and i have a few problems i lost my job 2 weeks ago i cant pay the rent and he accusses me off it i tryed to make a plan to pay rent but did not succeed he says he cant trust me no more and that if i dont get to pay the stuff b4 hand then he ...
A. 1 March 2007: Ditch this self centred and uncaring git!
I think it is horrible the way he is treating you, it's not as if you walked out of your job or had any say in the matter! And trying to pin his own crappy work performance on your circumstances is out o... (read in full...)
We slept together, he didnt want anything serious, we stayed mates, now he's got a new GF, should I stay friends with him ?
Q. i started seeing this guy a few months ago and we started as mates going to the pub and talking , anyway we did eventually sleep together and after we decided to stay mates . anyway i had feelings for him and he kept saying i dont want a seri...
A. 21 February 2007: Hi there,
I'm sorry, this might not be what you want to hear but:
He used you as a f**k-buddy, you wanted more, he said he wasn't after a serious relationship, when he said he was falling for you, he was probably trying to keep you sweet s... (read in full...)
My fiancee was caught kissing and cuddling another women!!
Q. Hi Dear, My fiancee was caught with another woman cuddling and kissing each other by my friend and her husband in a night club,she alerted me immediately and when i confronted him he denied and decided to stop communicating with me.He only called m...
A. 20 February 2007: Hmmm... He has been caught out with another woman by your friend. You confront him, he lies about it, and instead af grovelling or apologising, he ignores you and lets you do all the running? He hasn't acknowledged what he has done, t... (read in full...)
Are there any younger girls in the UK of the age of 20-22 who would have a relationship with an old man of 27?
Q. Dear Cupid. I am a 27 male who has never had any sexual relationships or girlfriends, probably due to a medical problem called hypogonadism. I am not getting any younger, and I am very depressed due to my situation. I am an undergraduate ma...
A. 20 February 2007: Hi there, I don't see what all the fuss is about personally - you're worrying about something that hasn't happened, and people will call you a paedophile for going out with 18 year old. When I was 19 I was living with guy who was 32, a 5 year age... (read in full...)
Do I send roses?
Q. Do I send Roses? I met a lady in 2002, we lived together for 4 years. In January last year she left me and we have seen little of each other since, however we had a good meeting yesterday for coffee. She told me then she has a new boyfriend (I do ...
A. 14 February 2007: I wouldn't bother, personally - it's been over a year, and she's started seeing someone else - don't jeapardise your newly reformed friendship by sending her running to the hills. There's cheaper (and less cheesier) ways to let her know you sti... (read in full...)
Want to ask my wife's sister out for supper...how do I go about this?
Q. Dear Cupid, My sister in law is currently living with me and my wife, well over 5.5 years. I am 34, the SIL is 45, and the wife is 42. My sister in law is very sweet. Soon, my wife is taking a trip to London the last Tuesday of next month,...
A. 14 February 2007: As I said - if you actually read my answer - Ask your wife - maybe she wouldn't feel so awkward about being on some kind of covert operation - she'll feel more nervous than ever! I'm now not surprised your wife is extremely insecure!
The SIL's fr... (read in full...)
Here is my list of the "perfect" boyfriend! What do you think?
Q. Here is my list of the perfect boyfriend. Are there any men like this? 1. Shares all email and IM passwords 2. Has none, or only one, female friend 3. Tell's me when his only female friend calls 4. Tell's me when he goes basically anywher...
A. 14 February 2007: I'm not here to win favour or anything, but Christ, are you mad? No wonder you're single! Okie Dokie, let's try it this way: 1. Would you share all email and IM passwords (including this site? - Nah, didn't think so) 2. Do you have no, ... (read in full...)
Any tips for phone conversations?
Q. Can anyone tell me how to keep a conversation on the phone?...
A. 14 February 2007: The trick that always works when I am stuck in a conversation?
Repeat the last 3-5 words the person has just said, but raise the pitch at the end, like you are asking a question.
Don't do it throughout the entire conversation - you'll sound a l... (read in full...)
Today is Valentine's Day... but my heart is broken to pieces.... please help me.
Q. I need your help and advice please... My partner of two years used me when she needed my help, I stood by her,, I helped her the best I could, and never left her alone, but then I became like a tools for her which was just around for her use. I n...
A. 14 February 2007: Eve - I couldn't have put it better myself!... (read in full...)
Why is Valentine's Day so depressing?
Q. Why is valentines day the worst most depressing day of the year every year?...
A. 14 February 2007: It's a football match for me tonight, hunny! The people it's a big deal for are the card companies and interflora - pushing us to buying something not really needed to show someone you really love them - it's marketing and Partner Pester P... (read in full...)
what is the meaning of a single rose, compared to a dozen roses?
Q. what is the meaning of a single rose, compared to a dozen roses?...
A. 14 February 2007: A single rose is less petal mess to clear up! Seriously, Single Red Rose: "I love you," or "I love you still" (but I'm not going to go broke telling you, cos you probably know already.) - it's simplicity. A single red rose in a bud vase came to... (read in full...)
I am 12 and I need to know...when should I kiss my gf?
Q. Im am 12 and i have a girlfreind but we have never kissed iv have kissed before but i dont think she has and every time i look at her i want to kiss her but im not sure if she wants to when should i kiss her ...
A. 14 February 2007: My first boyfriend asked if he could kiss me... I thought it was sweet! And a fantastic memory of a first kiss!... (read in full...)
Should I agree to my husband's threesome Idea? Even if I don't want to?!
Q. I've been married for over 10 years now. My husband has this fantasy about having a threesome. I am deadset against it. He says that it burns a whole in his heart and it is something he is going to do, but he wants to do it with me. Will this ...
A. 14 February 2007: Hi there!
I was cheekier in facing this question from my ex - I asked in return whether he would do a 2 bloke 3some and he was absolutely disgusted that I suggested it!
I explained that if he isn't comfortable with that idea, I won't push him... (read in full...)
Want to ask my wife's sister out for supper...how do I go about this?
Q. Dear Cupid, My sister in law is currently living with me and my wife, well over 5.5 years. I am 34, the SIL is 45, and the wife is 42. My sister in law is very sweet. Soon, my wife is taking a trip to London the last Tuesday of next month,...
A. 14 February 2007: Superfly54, my mother is 47 and hasn't been out on a date for nearly 24 years!
The reason why she doesn't go out on dates (even though I sometimes plead with her to go out and have some fun) is for one simple reason. She just doesn't want to.... (read in full...)
This is a bit unusual I know, tomorrow is V's day. (I'm the female) but I want to stay in and watch the FA cup replay!!! How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, I am in a bit of a pickle here! My partner and I have arranged to go out tomorrow night (we try and go out for a meal at least once or twice a week) - now, unless you live in a cave, you will realise that tomorrow is Valenti...
A. 14 February 2007: India - Hands off! He's my guy! Lol! I love him to pieces, and now you see why! He is adorable, but no! Naughty India!
Max Steel - As I said in an earlier message, I've recently moved out of home on my own, I don't even have a VCR - let alone Sk... (read in full...)
What's the average number of sexual partners for a 17 year old in the UK?
Q. im 17 and only slept with 1 person, all my mates have slept with about 5 by now lol whats the avergae for a 17 year old in the UK?...
A. 14 February 2007: I'm with CD on this one! I had one, but a lot of my mates were bragging about their numbers - the higher they got, the less respect I held for them - when it transgressed that some of them were lying, I was puzzled to think as to why? The ones that ... (read in full...)
This is a bit unusual I know, tomorrow is V's day. (I'm the female) but I want to stay in and watch the FA cup replay!!! How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, I am in a bit of a pickle here! My partner and I have arranged to go out tomorrow night (we try and go out for a meal at least once or twice a week) - now, unless you live in a cave, you will realise that tomorrow is Valenti...
A. 13 February 2007: Aye, Ponungalung, you did mention a take-away, but you didn't mention the all important HDTV... ;)... (read in full...)
This is a bit unusual I know, tomorrow is V's day. (I'm the female) but I want to stay in and watch the FA cup replay!!! How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, I am in a bit of a pickle here! My partner and I have arranged to go out tomorrow night (we try and go out for a meal at least once or twice a week) - now, unless you live in a cave, you will realise that tomorrow is Valenti...
A. 13 February 2007: Thanks guys for that - but my partner came up with a better solution...
A little bit of a compromise, as we weren't sure whether he'd like the food where we were planning on going (he's a bit of a fussy eater)... but a KFC bucket, some pop corn... (read in full...)
This is a bit unusual I know, tomorrow is V's day. (I'm the female) but I want to stay in and watch the FA cup replay!!! How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, I am in a bit of a pickle here! My partner and I have arranged to go out tomorrow night (we try and go out for a meal at least once or twice a week) - now, unless you live in a cave, you will realise that tomorrow is Valenti...
A. 13 February 2007: VCR? Lol! Sounds too much like common sense to me - I've recently moved out on my own, and don't have a VCR -anyway, it's just not the same as watching the match live!
Perhaps asking him to tape it (if he doesn't want to get an early meal) ca... (read in full...)
The boobs on his phone were his mates having a laugh he said. But he calls "these boobs" every day!!! What should I do about it?
Q. About 2-3 months ago I found a picture on my boyfriends phone of someones breasts while trying to bluetooth an image from mine to his. I calmly asked who it was and he insisted that it was a mate winding him up but I had already called the number ...
A. 13 February 2007: Let's see... Bloke has mysterious boobs on his phone, bloke says the boobs are his mates playing around, speaks to the boobs every day and the boobs text him frequently - . Now, I don't know the contents of the texts, so I can't advise on that... (read in full...)
He said he'd love me forever but needed a break, now, 4 days later he has another girlfriend. Should I fight for him or move on?
Q. My boyfriend and i had been going out for 2 months. It was really serious and i loved him a lot. He dumped me a week before valentines day because he said i didnt put enough effort into the relationship. When he dumped me he said i must see it more ...
A. 13 February 2007: Let's see, he lied to you, hurt you in the cruelest way, strung you along for a while, dumped on your feelings (and before Valentine's Day, what timing!), and moved on pretty sharpish... Move on, you sound like a kind and caring girl, find someone ... (read in full...)
This boy says he loves me then sleeps with someone else, he's messing with my head, what should I do?
Q. Please I Really Need Help A Couple Of Months Ago i Met This Lad On Msn, Hes 16 And Lives In London Im 14 And Live In Manchester We Chat On Msn Talk On The Phone And Webcam Each Other So I Know He Is Who He Says. Everytime We Have Got Togethe...
A. 13 February 2007: Hello Lostheart, He is saying those things because he is an immature boy, and you are feeling that way because you are over analyzing things! He says he loves you, he then sleeps with someone else -"now he wont answer my calls wont reply to my... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is mentoring this other woman, should I be concerned?
Q. How do you know when to be worried? My boyfriend of 2 years recently started "mentoring" a young, single college woman. At first I wasn't too concerned. He said he met her a conference he spoke at a few months ago, in a neighboring city...
A. 13 February 2007: Hello Anon, If things have changed this much, I would be worried too! How I see if your bf isn't playing away, he should see that he should leave his responsibilities at work - unless he doesn't see her as a work responsibility. How comes she is s... (read in full...)
How do I tell my Mom, I am in my first relationship? Any tips?
Q. how do i tell my mom that i am in my first relationship?...
A. 13 February 2007: Hello there,
I told my mum about my first BF while on a "Girly day out", it makes things a lot easier that your mum can also be your friend (She'll feel a lot more appreciated - trust me) After a bit of girly bonding I told her that I was seei... (read in full...)
How can I learn to let go from those that hurt me? Is there something wrong with me?
Q. i just need someone to teach me about letting go. i have such trouble doing it... everytime one relationship ends i hold on to so many things.... so much that it sometimes ruins my next relationship... is there something wrong with me? why is it so ...
A. 13 February 2007: I agree - there's nothing wrong with you, holding onto some fond memories is normal, even when you split up with a complete and total jerk! Put those pressies and photos away (or even better chuck them, or burn them over a glass of wine with ... (read in full...)
I met him on the internet and I liked him but he sent me a reccent picture and now I don't find him attractive! How do I break it off with him?!
Q. Dear cupid I am in a very difficult situation right now. He lives in Chicago and I live in England and I'm 18 and he's 27. Ok well basically I've been talking to this guy on the internet and we've agreed to meet up and everything, I've seen his ...
A. 13 February 2007: Hello Anon,
I'm glad you did the right thing, letting him know how you feel now is a lot better than letting it carry on and leading him on.
You weren't being cruel, but letting him think there was a future when not really knowing the guy,... (read in full...)
He slept w/ our maid for 10 months before I caught them! Counseling is not available in our area, so what can be done?
Q. i have been marriage for 18 years with four children.we are from the uk and have lived in thailand for the past two years,my hasband committed adultry with our live in thai maid for ten months before i caught them.she has gone and he said he was ...
A. 13 February 2007: Hi there,
I'm sorry you have to go through this - I was going through exactly the same thing when I was younger. Whenever my father had his visiting day, he would pick us up, drop my brother and me off at one of his friend's place and go off with... (read in full...)
Guys...are you serious about these kind of questions??
Q. My bf asked me one time if what is my ideal age to get married and to have a child, i asked him why? He said because he said that he wants to be prepared for it. I told him that 27 or 28 would be fine with me...may i ask, is it a sort of a joke? Or...
A. 9 February 2007: It's not that strange, my other half asked me the same question, because there's thing we both wanted to do before children come into the picture like travelling/hot air ballooning/sky diving etc... I'm not too sure about your guy's motives ab... (read in full...)
My wife and I have seperated, should I still send her flowers for Valentine's Day?
Q. Hi, please help me on this, for two years I dedicated my life to this girl, I loved her, care for her, look after her, did everything in my power for her to be happy, and it was never enough. I married her last year. Our arguments continue...
A. 9 February 2007: I disagree with Ask Jessie - Giving her flowers on Valentines would send one of these two messages 1) "Come back, please - treat me like a doormat, oh and don't forget to wipe your feet!" 2) It might also home across as stalking behaviour, an... (read in full...)
I met him on the internet and I liked him but he sent me a reccent picture and now I don't find him attractive! How do I break it off with him?!
Q. Dear cupid I am in a very difficult situation right now. He lives in Chicago and I live in England and I'm 18 and he's 27. Ok well basically I've been talking to this guy on the internet and we've agreed to meet up and everything, I've seen his ...
A. 9 February 2007: Oh dear, Oh dear - 2 weeks is nothing, my other half and I were talking to eachother for 2 years as mates, when we first met face to face (to go to a gig in Camden) we hit it off, we weren't looking for a relationship at the time either, but here we ... (read in full...)
I met him on the internet and I liked him but he sent me a reccent picture and now I don't find him attractive! How do I break it off with him?!
Q. Dear cupid I am in a very difficult situation right now. He lives in Chicago and I live in England and I'm 18 and he's 27. Ok well basically I've been talking to this guy on the internet and we've agreed to meet up and everything, I've seen his ...
A. 9 February 2007: Oh dear, Oh dear - 2 weeks is nothing, my other half and I were talking to each other for 2 years as mates, when we first met face to face (to go to a gig in Camden) we hit it off, we weren't looking for a relationship at the time either, but here ... (read in full...)
He slept w/ our maid for 10 months before I caught them! Counseling is not available in our area, so what can be done?
Q. i have been marriage for 18 years with four children.we are from the uk and have lived in thailand for the past two years,my hasband committed adultry with our live in thai maid for ten months before i caught them.she has gone and he said he was ...
A. 9 February 2007: Hi there,
You gave him one more chance - he sqaundered it.
If you keep giving him these "one more chances" of course he will carry on and you will start losing your own self-esteem and feel it was your own fault. I've seen it happen to my mot... (read in full...)
I can't cope through this breakup!
Q. I feel so stupid posting on here. But, I am so distraught. I know that no one can really say one thing to make me feel better but I need a helping hand. I am going to see a counselor, too. But, I am falling. I had a break up a couple of months ...
A. 23 January 2007: First of all, let me offer you a huge hug!
Secondly, your ex has done the right thing, he is trying to let you down gently.
Thirdly, is there anything you secretly wanted to take up but didn't want to tell anyone? (AmDram/Line Dancing/Yoga/gym... (read in full...)
Because all I can think of is my ex, I can't seem to move on with my new boyfriend...
Q. I was with my ex bf for 4 years on and off. I was in love with him. He was my first love. We split up a few times and saw other people in between but we always came back to one another. We got engaged and 6 months later we split up. Sixmon...
A. 23 January 2007: I was in the same situation as you. I met my ex when I was 17, it was a turbulant relationship, one minute we were on, the next minute we was off. I wanted a full time relationship, he wouldn't commit to me. We tried seeing other people but ... (read in full...)
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