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I don't want her back in a romantic way, but I don't know how to get over her either!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Gay relationships, Teenage, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My ex gf and I have been broken up for 2 months and our break up was a painful one for the both of us, but we decided to still be friends and after being broken up for a month, she started dating someone else..so I told her that I needed time to myself to get my head straight.

Fast forward a month later, she decided to contact me on Father's day and made me chose to talk to her again now or never talk to her again cause she was tired of hurting waiting for me to talk to her again..So now we're talking again and I recently found out that she's single again, but here's the thing thing, i dont want her back in a romantic way..but i still have feelings for her and idk what to do in order to get over her :(

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A male reader, mrg123 United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2011):

mrg123 agony auntI'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with the other contributor *in this instance*. Why? Well simply because neither of you is over this - her fling after you was obviously a rebound. What you need to do is sort out what feelings you do have for her and your not going to do that by closing her off; all that will happen is these unresolved feelings will rattle around in you and drive you crazy.

She obviously wants you back which is something you would solve by cutting her off totally but that would still leave you with your problem. Eventually, inevitably you would talk again and you would have too to resolve your own feelings.

So, what is to be done, I am afraid you are probably going to have to confront this and talk to her directly about what's going on with you, how you feel about your break-up and how you feel about her. Do it in a neutral space and a non-judgemental way but tell her beforehand that this conversation in no way means you see a future for yourselves if indeed you dont.

Not going to be easy but the only way I see around this one. Good luck and take care :)x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011):

Not the answer you are probably looking for but....

not talking to her is the easiest way to get over her.

I think its best to distant yourselves from one another and then try to be friends again later, slowly. Two months is not enough time.

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