How can I help my family to cope with my cousin's cancer?
Q. HI Aunts and Uncles I've just had a close cousin diagnosed with advanced liver cancer. He is only 46 and we are all pretty devastated about this diagnosis. His father (my uncle) died 3 years ago from complications with his lungs. His death hi...
A. 5 October 2010: Hi Tisha and Denimandlace
Thank you both so much for your replies it really helps to talk about it with other people apart from your family. The funeral is tomorrow (Thursday the 7th Oct) so it will be a very sad day. I was talking to one of his ... (read in full...)
How can I help my family to cope with my cousin's cancer?
Q. HI Aunts and Uncles I've just had a close cousin diagnosed with advanced liver cancer. He is only 46 and we are all pretty devastated about this diagnosis. His father (my uncle) died 3 years ago from complications with his lungs. His death hi...
A. 4 October 2010: Just thought I'd let you guys know that my cousin died yesterday. Can't believe that in July we thought he had gallstones and now he's dead. Life is such a fragile thing. I'm glad he's no longer suffering but oh what a terrible thing for us all. ... (read in full...)
How can I help my family to cope with my cousin's cancer?
Q. HI Aunts and Uncles I've just had a close cousin diagnosed with advanced liver cancer. He is only 46 and we are all pretty devastated about this diagnosis. His father (my uncle) died 3 years ago from complications with his lungs. His death hi...
A. 4 July 2010: Tisha you are so right. I rang my Aunty and we had a phone call of crying, laughing and crying again. It was great to talk to her and realise that I couldn't really say the wrong thing if I was honest about everything I felt. She thanked me for ... (read in full...)
How can I help my family to cope with my cousin's cancer?
Q. HI Aunts and Uncles I've just had a close cousin diagnosed with advanced liver cancer. He is only 46 and we are all pretty devastated about this diagnosis. His father (my uncle) died 3 years ago from complications with his lungs. His death hi...
A. 2 July 2010: Thanks guys. Was just talking to my Mum who has been talking to my aunty and now the news is even worse. He also has bowel cancer. He is not expected to live past Christmas. I think I could relieve a drought with the amount of tears I have ... (read in full...)
How do I improve my self-esteem, I hate my looks??
Q. I hate myself, because I feel ugly and disgusting. I'm not fat and people say I look ok, but average is not enough for me. I don't know what to do. Everytime I see a beautiful woman, I get depressed. So yes, I'm constantly depressed, every day, ...
A. 2 July 2010: Every single person on this planet is beautiful including you doll!
Every one has times where they feel like you do about themselves so you are not alone in feeling this way. We are so heavily subjected to the idea of how a woman "Should" look... (read in full...)
How can I get her back? Please help!
Q. Hi everybody, my name is jay. I recently broke up with my gf who I have been with for 2 and a half years and engaged to for about a year. She is a mom of an awsome boy who is now 3, so I have been basically the step dad since he was 6 months ol...
A. 2 July 2010: Relationships are hard work aye! We all go through these stages in our relationships where stress is being brought home and we just don't make time for our love live anymore.
I guess the best option for you here would be to tell her you real... (read in full...)
Is the mess normal?
Q. okay so my boyfriend and i decided he will be fingering me in the next few days, i'm really excited but i feel things won't go as planned... i seem to cum at anytime in the day and it worries me. Is that normal?? like why do i do that? and when he ...
A. 2 July 2010: A lot of girls do cum with quite a bit of fluid so that is completely normal. Just wondering though is it actually an orgasm you are experiencing at any time of the day or could it just be discharge. Sometimes at certain times of the month ... (read in full...)
I want to do something really special for my girlfriend's 18th birthday, any ideas?
Q. my girlfriend is turning 18 and i want to do something very special she has had it very hard family wise since she was 12 years old and i want to do something for her any ideas?...
A. 2 July 2010: How about having a bunch of flowers delivered to her first thing in the morning with a birthday note. Then sending her a morning tea muffin with a birthday and I love you note. Then suprise her by taking her to a cafe for lunch. Then cook her an ... (read in full...)
I've finally come to appreciate how much he loves me
Q. Ive known this man for going on six years...He has always had a desire to be with me, but me being the stupid and silly person i was i totally ignored him and acted like he wasnt important and was only seen in my eyes as a friend.... Now that i look ...
A. 25 June 2010: Ooo I wouldn't go after him if it means he is going to cheat on his girlfriend to do it. Tell him you've realised what a tossa you've been and that when he's free and if he still wants you you will be waiting for him. Don't be the other woman it's ... (read in full...)
I'm a private person, and don't like that he's shouting to the world about our move
Q. My boyfriend and I are in the process of moving in together. We have known one another since high school, but have been together for six months. We are both in our early thirties, and he has never lived with a girlfriend before. He is the total pa...
A. 25 June 2010: Person 12345 is right on the money here. I totally agree with everything she said and I just want to add, The secret to a great relationship is realising that we are all different and to celebrate those differences in each other. Accept that he is ... (read in full...)
How to stop the sex?
Q. So, I have been with my boyfriend a year and a few months. We both weren't virgins when we met and we got close fast so we really didn't wait long to have sex. The thing is lately it seems he has been more touchy and all over me then usual and I've ...
A. 25 June 2010: I would talk to him about how you are feeling and be honest and open about it then he may understand where you are coming from. It could be that you don't feel like sex because you have some stress in your life or that he is not pleasuring you in ... (read in full...)
How can I help him see me as more than a 'Friend with Benefits'?
Q. Hi, I know that many of you are going to say this is wrong, i am sure it is but what is done is done. We started as a harmless flirting, talking every day and making silly jokes. We do not even live in the same town but he manged to come here ...
A. 17 June 2010: He's having his cake and eating it too. I would back away from this guy. If he hasn't made steps to leave his girlfriend now after telling you he didn't want you to leave then he never will. You will end up being the other woman desperately ... (read in full...)
Am I right not to trust my boyfriend?
Q. I've now been with my boyfriend for 9 months and over the last few months, I just don't trust him. He has this "good friend" who just so happens to be female. And I don't have a problem with that, but, he actually told me early on in the relati...
A. 16 June 2010: Yep I'd be upset too. He probably is completely innocent of anything naughty but he needs to understand that he's got to be completely open with you about her so that everything is above board. Pick a moment when you are both calm and explain how ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets jealous when I make plans with my friends!
Q. I'm 15 and me and my bf have been dating 8 months. Wehave a strong relationship but he gets alllll mad and jealous if I talk to other boys as friends? Also he gets mad when I have plans with my friends like a girls night out. He always says well I ...
A. 16 June 2010: Your boyfriend is wrong. Your friends are just as important as he is and if you ditch them and then you and he split up you would have no one. He needs to grow up a bit and check out how real relationships work. Keep making plans with your ... (read in full...)
Should I just forget about her and try to move on?
Q. hi, I'm a 16 year old boy and I fell in love with a girl two years ago who unfortunately didn't feel the same way. ever since then I've gotten over her several times but the feelings are always there waiting to come back. over the two years the two ...
A. 16 June 2010: This is tough for you. Normally when someone breaks your heart you cut contact and the healing can begin. Since you want to keep her as a friend my advice is to cut back on the amount of time you spend with her and try to get out and meet some ... (read in full...)
I'm sexually attracted to my girl cousin!!!
Q. I am 17 and a lesbian...I was tlking to my gf and I was joking about how she's always actn like she's flirting with her cousin and she told me that like 3 of her cousins said if she wasn't related to them shed fuk em and she was like WTF....and I'm ...
A. 15 June 2010: I was in love with one of my cousins for ages. He's still my favourite cousin but I don't think of him that way anymore I just love him as a cousin. It will pass for you too.... (read in full...)
Should I pack up my stuff and grab my son and leave?
Q. [Mod note* sentence removed for clarity] i don't want to be with my man of 10yrs + is because he has taken me for granted, accused me of cheating for the past 5-6 years.and i was faithful the whole time...he is verbally abusive and self absorbed. ...
A. 15 June 2010: No one should have to put up with abuse in any form. Normally I would say to tell him to shape up or ship out but since he's basically proven he wont shape up then yes you should ship out. Don't warn him of your intentions because he could become ... (read in full...)
If I touch myself it hurts, Is there any thing I can do to make it feel good?
Q. Hi, i was wondering isnt it suppose to feel good if you touch or rub your clit? When ever i do it i dont get any thing out of it or some times it just hurts when i do it. Is that normal? Also my boyfriend wants to finger me (sorry if to much ...
A. 15 June 2010: Your clitorios is very sensitive so you have to start off with very light stoking or rubbing and as you get more aroused it can take harder rubbing and stroking. It's important for you to experiement on yourself so that you know what you like.... (read in full...)
Am I reading her right?
Q. "OPs Own Title" Okay, so I have kind of a tough question so I'll try being as succint as possible. There's this girl at work who I can feel myself falling for in a big way, the problem is I kinda get the impression she may like me back. Thing is, ...
A. 15 June 2010: It certainly sounds like she's interested. The key to this whole dilema is, does she know you are gay? If so then ask her if she's ever had or considered a gay relationship if she say's yes then ask her out if she says no tell her you've seen the ... (read in full...)
Take the dive or soldier on?
Q. Ok heres my situation and I need advice on what to do. I like this guy (lets call him M) in college. I got to know him around march because he was my 'friends'(lets call him Y) room-mate. There was this big ball/disco in the college bar and ...
A. 14 June 2010: Yes that does make it a bit tricky. Splurge some money on a phone call to him and reestablish communication that way.... (read in full...)
I am tempted to contact him out of my loneliness..
Q. Hello all, Well, I am lonely again. I am alone at home and my sister went out of the country with her kids and I am stuck here due to my job. I feel soooo lonely. I can't help it and I am trying to resist the temptation to contact my ex. The last ...
A. 14 June 2010: No No No NO don't go there with your ex. Rekindled relationships seldom work. Try to make some friends with some of the girls where you work and plan a girls night out. Keep away from men until you are completely over your ex. ... (read in full...)
Why did this shy girl get so scared?
Q. I was over her house Thursday to hang out with her brother. Her brother and I were in the family room watching a DVD and she was in their computer room surfing the net. Their dad had just gotten home and he was walking by the computer room. She ...
A. 14 June 2010: I'm very confused about why the girl and her dad would find your question about the Last Airbender so worrying or offensive. Maybe you've read the situation wrongly. Perhaps you could ask her about it.... (read in full...)
Take the dive or soldier on?
Q. Ok heres my situation and I need advice on what to do. I like this guy (lets call him M) in college. I got to know him around march because he was my 'friends'(lets call him Y) room-mate. There was this big ball/disco in the college bar and ...
A. 14 June 2010: Man Y is a wank!!! This is what I would do. Go round to M's house and tell him what Y did then tell him you really like him and would like to get to know him better and would he be interested in a relationship. Ditch Y out of your life he's not a ... (read in full...)
I'm asking how to get him to kiss me before he leaves
Q. My boyfriend I've always wanted finnally asked me out a 2 months ago...we went on a few dates...and we spend alot of time together. He told me that hes moving half way across the country. I have alot of support from my friends to help me to deal ...
A. 14 June 2010: Don't worry about trying to get him to kiss you, you kiss him. He will kiss back I promise.... (read in full...)
Something changed since I lost my virginity
Q. I lost my virginity back in january and my discharge has never been the same. it's extremely thick and basically a solid and is sort of cottagecheese-like. when I clean it up, it is SUPER dry and uncomfortable down there. som...
A. 14 June 2010: It's really puzzling. I would definately keep pestering your doctor because you can't live like that. Drive her/him mad until something is done.
Good luck let us know how you get on.... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I'm asexual?
Q. Hi, I wonder if you have any help that you could give a twenty year old girl who is worried that she is asexual. I can tell you a bit about myself - I have only ever been further than kissing with two boys, both of which I backed away from when I r...
A. 14 June 2010: Gosh I don't know what to advise here and I'm confident you will get some good advice from other Aunts and Uncles but my one suggestion would be to see a gynacologist and have a full check up. It could be something simple that is inhibiting your ... (read in full...)
I want him back -- should I give him this letter?
Q. so i was dating this amazing guy for a few weeks. he loved me and i loved him. he told me he could see his life with me and that he never felt that he could love someone for forever before. but i broke up with him because he did something and didn't ...
A. 14 June 2010: Yes give it to him and then if nothing happens move on and find happiness with someone else. Good luck... (read in full...)
Something changed since I lost my virginity
Q. I lost my virginity back in january and my discharge has never been the same. it's extremely thick and basically a solid and is sort of cottagecheese-like. when I clean it up, it is SUPER dry and uncomfortable down there. som...
A. 14 June 2010: Sorry Posters but everyone is saying that thrush is an STD. Thrush is NOT an STD it is a yeast infection caused by changes in your friendly bacteria. (Check out this site http://www.std.co.uk/thrush.html for info on it) The only thing that can ... (read in full...)
My feelings have changed, but I'm afraid of scaring a friend away
Q. Hi, Have been talking with this guy over the internet for over 2 years. We have become very good friends in that time. We e-mail each other daily just with updates on what is happening, or going on in our day. We talk every night via messenger (w...
A. 13 June 2010: I think you've got the perfect opening with the honesty thing. E-mail him a message saying that you want to be honest with him and that you value his friendship so much and that he is very special and precious to you and you can't imagine your life ... (read in full...)
Something changed since I lost my virginity
Q. I lost my virginity back in january and my discharge has never been the same. it's extremely thick and basically a solid and is sort of cottagecheese-like. when I clean it up, it is SUPER dry and uncomfortable down there. som...
A. 13 June 2010: I wonder why the doctor thinks there's no thrush cause it sure sounds like thrush to me. In New Zealand we are able to buy thrush medication over the counter without a prescription. If you can do this too then I would go get a good thrush ... (read in full...)
Part 2: pondering my situation about marriage
Q. Q: For most people, when they decided they want to get married, is it OBVIOUS that they want to get married to this other person. Is there this strong inner voice going, "YES! YES! YES! Of course I want to marry this person!"? I'm 30 and in a rela...
A. 10 June 2010: Look as it's basic maths really, either you feel you can spend the rest of your life with this person or you don't end of dilema. Sorry to sound harsh here but you sound selfish. I said that she sounds like your ideal mate because you state that ... (read in full...)
Friends... Lovers.... Friends?
Q. Q: Am I going to have to break things off COMPLETELY with this woman at some point if I want to have a friendship in the future? This woman and I started off as best friends. Fell in love. Been pseudo bf/gf for a year. But, because I don't ...
A. 10 June 2010: Well I guess if that's how you feel then you should let this person go and concentrate on enjoying your single life. Yes life changes when you get married but in my experience it's for the better since I completely love my husband and would rather ... (read in full...)
Text dating drama, how do I proceed from here?
Q. I am in a bit of a diliemma here. I have met this guy about a month ago through a very good friend of mine, and the guy is also a very good friend of my brother. So we have mutual friends. We have all gone out dancing in groups for a couple weeks, ...
A. 10 June 2010: Yes I agree with Rescuer ease up life isn't meant to be so serious.... (read in full...)
I like her but I'm also friends with her b/f
Q. Well I've got a massive proble i've really really liked this girl for about 4 months but she's going out with this guy but I'm quite good friends with him. I keep spending loads of time with her and stuff and she knows I like her, and her boyfriend ...
A. 10 June 2010: Keep away until she is actually avaliable. If you get in between them life will go pear shaped for sure. She knows you like her and yet she is choosing to stay with someone who cheats on her so I would be very wary. Move in different social ... (read in full...)
Why does my wife lie?
Q. Why does my wife lie? This started a while ago, but it's getting worse and worse. For some reason my wife doesn't trust me. I've never strayed, never even looked at another woman in our 5 years together. She's given me two beautiful childr...
A. 10 June 2010: To be honest I think she has a problem psychologically that makes her want to lie all the time. Have you ever called her out on some of these lies? I would do it in front of her friends on something you have absolute proof that she has lied about, ... (read in full...)
My sister's tragic death and my parents' misdirected blame at my bestman for it are causing me strife
Q. My friend was lived with my sister for three years. My parents never liked him and gave my sister a lot of problems over him. My poor sister died of a heart attack. It was tragic. She died in her sleep right next to him. He was asleep and ...
A. 9 June 2010: I don't understand your fiance's attitude here. Hasn't she realised that these are YOUR parents it would be different if it was her parents you were trying to exclude. Maybe you could show her these answers? Stick to your guns if you don't want ... (read in full...)
I still want to be her friend but don't know how to go about it now
Q. I'm in a huge tangled mess. Months ago, I asked a girl out. She said she wanted to say yes, but couldn't, because she had a girlfriend. But we didn't stop talking after that and became closer and closer friends. I never properly got over her, bu...
A. 9 June 2010: Oh dear I'm sorry that it's worked out that way. At least you ahve a definitive answer now though so you can move on and look elsewhere. Fingers crossed the next girl who catches your eye will not have the baggage that these two had.
Good luck... (read in full...)
I lost my bestfriend over a fight, I've tried everything for her forgiveness but her brushing me off is just killing me inside...
Q. i feel replaced by my other friend all because of this one fight but i've done everything to apologize and i still have this feeling. when i ask her to hang out she just gives me an excuse and i hear that she went to hang out with my other friend ...
A. 9 June 2010: Sorry sweetheart but it's going to take some time to get back to something similar to what you had before the fight and you just have to be paitent. You will have to keep trying and waiting in the wings until she is ready to trust again. Hang in ... (read in full...)
Text dating drama, how do I proceed from here?
Q. I am in a bit of a diliemma here. I have met this guy about a month ago through a very good friend of mine, and the guy is also a very good friend of my brother. So we have mutual friends. We have all gone out dancing in groups for a couple weeks, ...
A. 9 June 2010: Sweetheart please please please STOP texting!! Face to face is the only way to deal with people you are trying to have a relationship with. I agree with you I think you have over analysed things and driven him up the wall with assumptions that are ... (read in full...)
How do you find out if a guy is a virgin or not?
Q. hii!lemme ask a question.it might be silly...but there is some expectation about it..is there atleast a small clue to find whether a guy is a virgin or not.? ...
A. 9 June 2010: Aside from asking them I don't think there is any other way to find out.... (read in full...)
My sister's tragic death and my parents' misdirected blame at my bestman for it are causing me strife
Q. My friend was lived with my sister for three years. My parents never liked him and gave my sister a lot of problems over him. My poor sister died of a heart attack. It was tragic. She died in her sleep right next to him. He was asleep and ...
A. 9 June 2010: Oh my goodness I feel so bad for you! I would say that you have not been able to cry about your sister because of all the uncertainty your parents are causing over her death. Your sister is definately smiling down at you and don't ever let your ... (read in full...)
I still want to be her friend but don't know how to go about it now
Q. I'm in a huge tangled mess. Months ago, I asked a girl out. She said she wanted to say yes, but couldn't, because she had a girlfriend. But we didn't stop talking after that and became closer and closer friends. I never properly got over her, bu...
A. 9 June 2010: Yes i see what you mean it is all a bit tricky. First of all I agree with girl num 2 you havn't done anything wrong so far as she is concerned, you two basically had a friends night together. If anyone is in the wrong it's girl num 1. I'd be ... (read in full...)
Friends... Lovers.... Friends?
Q. Q: Am I going to have to break things off COMPLETELY with this woman at some point if I want to have a friendship in the future? This woman and I started off as best friends. Fell in love. Been pseudo bf/gf for a year. But, because I don't ...
A. 9 June 2010: Why wait so long to get married if she is your ideal mate? Contrary to popular belief life doesn't end after your vows.... (read in full...)
Help! We've been fighting lots!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been fighting alot lately i love him and i want to be with him and he says he love me we've been together going on 4years what should I do...
A. 9 June 2010: Sometimes we need some outside perspective to help sort these kinds of things out. Could you get some couples therapy of even just therapy for yourself could help. And it doesn't necessarily need to be a paid therapist. Friends mothers can be ... (read in full...)
Part 2: pondering my situation about marriage
Q. Q: For most people, when they decided they want to get married, is it OBVIOUS that they want to get married to this other person. Is there this strong inner voice going, "YES! YES! YES! Of course I want to marry this person!"? I'm 30 and in a rela...
A. 9 June 2010: I think some people do get that very strong inner voice and for others it's that they can't imagine not being with this person anymore. Just because you get married doesn't mean you have to have kids straight away. You need to decide together when ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *oo's Mum has
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