A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:[Mod note* sentence removed for clarity] i don't want to be with my man of 10yrs + is because he has taken me for granted, accused me of cheating for the past 5-6 years.and i was faithful the whole time...he is verbally abusive and self absorbed. i asked him years ago to just show me some affection and alone time to keep me happy and the relationship hot...he had every excuse of why he couldnt spend alone time with me and show me affection...thats just some of what's happening...he doesnt have a job and i have two...we do have a son together and he is 7yrs... I WANT OUT!! im fed up with being unappreciated and not loved.....i dont want him around me or even touching me....im FED UP!!!! i very unhappy with the whole situation...im lonely..now he wants to marry me....i dont!!! he keeps asking me to be patient and wait for him to get his life in order...ok i have waited for the past 6-7 yrs...should i feel guilty for wanting to leave him and we have a son together...????? our son has witness the verbal abuse...and i know that this isn't healthy for both of us.....he won't leave and tells me that he gave me 10 yrs+ of his life and im not going anywhere....how can i get him out....or should i just pack up me and my son and leave..........????? i have been communicating with my ex and we are just friends..he is very understanding and helping me when im down...i know that this is dangerous to communicate with him but it helps me...im happier whenever i talk to him.....should i still communicate with my ex?
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 No one should have to put up with abuse in any form. Normally I would say to tell him to shape up or ship out but since he's basically proven he wont shape up then yes you should ship out. Don't warn him of your intentions because he could become even more abusive just quietly pack up your stuff and leave with your son when he isn't there. If you stay with this man you will become a shell of your former self and your son will grow up thinking that the way his father treats women is how you do it.
Have courage and conviction and get outta there. Good luck to you.
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