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... Send *ucky786 a private message | | | *ucky786's profile:I live on my own in West Yorkshire in my lovely house. I work in the legal sector and love spending time in Starbucks with my friends.
I am currently single and enjoy my freedom and independence. I love reading walking and watching films. My job is quite stressful so I enjoy activities that serve as an outlet for relieving all that stress.
I've been married, divorced, suffered child abuse and self-harm but I survived all of that! I think that's what makes me the person I am. I've learnt many harsh lessons in life and the most important one is that life is too short to hate those that have wronged us. Instead I thank god each day for his blessings.
I also love my dad very much, more than he will ever know x |
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I want a baby but my dad would be really angry with me
Q. I need some advice. Im an 18 year old women and although i know its still quite young me and my boyfriend of 14 months are so desperate for a family. I would love to have a baby i know how difficult it would be but im sure we would cope. He has a 2 ...
A. 18 August 2011: Why would your dad hit the roof? Does he not approve of your boyfriend? Maybe he is worried you will end up like his ex, on her own bringing up a child? Im sure your dad wants what's best for you and wants you to be financially stable before ... (read in full...)
Should I call him or will I look desperate?
Q. So, I went for coffee with a guy, I was interested in and I think he was interested in me, because we were flirting a lot on the phone when we talked. Anyway, I had to get home early because my gran fell and so at the end he just gave me a hug. I...
A. 18 August 2011: 3 weeks is long enough. He might think your grandma's fall was worse than it was and you are busy with her and he doesn't want to bother you too much.
I'd send him a casual text and see what happens.... (read in full...)
I tried all possible chances to be happy in life but I failed again and again. Will I ever be genuinely happy ?
Q. Another painful day. Really. You have to know my history 1st. A family friend girl dumped me when we were 16 cause I was ugly and unattractive. Then after 3 years I joined uni. Fell in love again. Relationship remained for 4 years. Sh...
A. 18 August 2011: You are not a failure. You are a genuine caring young man who has a lot of love to give. You have respect and love from family and friends in Pakistan. Love will come into your life one day, you just have to be patient.... (read in full...)
My ex is pregnant by another man! How should I feel?
Q. I barely every get on these forums, and I dont think I ever posted a question, but I have one now. I'm a 21 year old male, and I go to college in Philadelphia. My ex-girlfriend and I dated for 4.5 years until she broke up with me at the end of Ma...
A. 17 August 2011: Why do I think she is manipulative? Why did she feel the need to even say she'd keep the baby if she was with you?
Your ex-girlfriend is deciding the future of her unborn child based on whether she is with the right guy. What a great mother! ... (read in full...)
I am helping to support and care for my family but I feel like none of them care about me
Q. Hey guys forgive me for the long question but that's just how far the problems stretch. I have a family relationship problem going on. I am 31 yr old female and a first born in a family of 2 girls and 2 boys. My mother has raised us as single parent ...
A. 16 August 2011: I don't think you are over-reacting at all. It's natural to expect appreciation and kindness from those we help. I think you are doing a great job helping your family. I do also think that your kindness is being taken for granted and you have tak... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to text my ex? What sort of card should I send her?
Q. I have an ex-girlfriend, we haven't spoken for 2-3 months, she decided to ignore me for some reason. Anyways, she said her other exes never helped her when her Dad died, and in just a friendly capacity, I'd like to send her a card or something. ...
A. 16 August 2011: Why do you want to do this? She doesn't want contact from you, she's made that obvious. Why would she want a card or text from you, her ex-boyfriend, on a very personal and maybe painful day for her?
If you're doing this just to get a response... (read in full...)
I dumped my boyfriend but he took me back. Is our relationship damaged?
Q. I finally left my husband after 26 years of marriage. I have been separated now for eight months and I began dating recently and met a man I get along with very well. However I think that the intimacy we shared has uprooted feelings about my ...
A. 16 August 2011: There are 2 issues here, one is the unresolved feelings for your ex-husband and the second is your boyfriend's insecurity caused by your change of heart after dumping him. Honestly? I don't blame him for feeling insecure, he is going to be caut... (read in full...)
My ex is pregnant by another man! How should I feel?
Q. I barely every get on these forums, and I dont think I ever posted a question, but I have one now. I'm a 21 year old male, and I go to college in Philadelphia. My ex-girlfriend and I dated for 4.5 years until she broke up with me at the end of Ma...
A. 16 August 2011: There's no doubt she regrets breaking up with you. I think she is being VERY manipulative too:
"She was telling me stuff like, "If I was having this baby with you, I would keep it."
Not only is she playing with your feelings but she's trying... (read in full...)
Filled with regret for the way things ended with BF.
Q. I am filled with dread and regret after breaking up with my boyfriend of 9 months. I don't want it to end but it couldn't stay as it was. He was being cold, not returning my phone calls for days and then I found evidence that he was flirting wit...
A. 16 August 2011: If you didn't want to end it you shouldn't have. Simple. If what you say about him is true, why on earth would you want him back???
Good riddance I say. ... (read in full...)
We never discussed being FWB, I wanted to be his girlfriend! And now to make things worse he isnt even replying to my texts!
Q. hi everyone this is my problem so i met ths man at the beginning of the year we seemed to be together as a proper couple then it just turned into sex every 3 or 4 weeks we hadnt discussed being fwb as i actually wanted to be with him as his ...
A. 16 August 2011: I think you are reading a little too much into things here. First you acknowledge that your relationship has become a FWB relationship which you didn't want. So now you are thinking like a girlfriend "What have I done?" etc and he is thinking o... (read in full...)
I'm prepared to face the consequences of dating a married man, so how do I approach him?
Q. It’s been two years now that I feel attracted to a man at my workplace. The problem is that he’s married. Yeah, I already know what you’ll tell me: Stay away from him. I’ve done so for the past two years but I still feel the same attraction. I know ...
A. 16 August 2011: So you know what you're getting into with this married man? Do you know about the hurt you will cause to his wife? His children His parents? Her parents? How about the trouble your sordid affair will cause at work? I'd say you know NOTHING abo... (read in full...)
Is it possible that we can remain as friends?
Q. Is there such a thing as being friends with your ex? I just broke up with this guy, i love him in fact I'm in love with him but i've had enough of the relationship. he says he still loves me but i think like me he's also had enough. i do want to ...
A. 14 August 2011: How long has it been since you broke up? Is it you who does the calling or is it him too? If it's just you then I'd say you need to find some other way to cope rather than calling him, to help you come to terms with the end of the relationship.
... (read in full...)
He seemed too good to be true and I don't want to lose him. But he hasn't contacted me since. What can I do?
Q. Last night I was standing outside of the bar and a very attractive guy approached my (guy) friend and me looking for a lighter. We both pulled out a lighter but I told him that he should take mine because it was lucky- and he did. After talking to h...
A. 14 August 2011: It seems that he likes you but maybe the distance is putting him off?... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him after I wrote him this?......
Q. "Its Saturday, Again you ignore my calls. Its the same thing you do every Saturday. Last time it was because you forgot your phone, the other two saturdays was because of family problems. Every Saturday theres a new excuse, every saturday night when ...
A. 14 August 2011: Wow! If I were him I don't think there is ANYTHING I could say in response!!
I think you had a good vent!
Going back to your question, I'm not sure this is about forgiving him. We ask for forgiveness when we make a mistake. What you're aski... (read in full...)
Guy I like asked me to stop texting him and that he would hang out when is life is more together. What does this mean?
Q. Hi ive been talking to a guy. We lost contact from high school,but started talking again when we found each other on facebook. we have even hung out a few times. although a few times we did plan but never happened because he was working late. ...
A. 14 August 2011: I used to have a pre-paid phone and was spending a fortune exchangng texts with my boyfriend, sometimes over 90 a day" Eventually I got a contract phone with unlinited texts. My boyfriends gets a lot of free minutes as he has a business contract or ... (read in full...)
Should I just keep talking to my ex to help her? Or cut her off completely?
Q. Hi. I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago (we're not getting back together, don't suggest us to) but she's been really depressed and miserable without me. She's always been depressed, but she's even worse off without me. I'm very worried abou...
A. 14 August 2011: She's getting over the break-up physically by having sex with these other men. She's getting over you emotionally by crying on you, telling you about these men and making you feel doubly bad. End all contact with her and let her deal with things on ... (read in full...)
He's a single male teacher. But he lied and told me he was married. Why would he do that?
Q. I know this guy who is in his late 30s and who is a teacher - the problem I have is that he has been lying about having a wife and daughter when he doesn't. He claims that this is because he wants to protect himself from typical issues that coul...
A. 14 August 2011: Why would he lie about beng married to someone who is aged 36-40? I'd be wary of him whether you are interested in him romantically or not, as ALL relationships are based on mutual trust.
... (read in full...)
Why can't I move on from the ex that took my virginity?
Q. Why can't I move on from my ex that took my virginity and it's sad because it's been months already and I still haven't moved on. But he has and he found a girl that he wants to spend a long time with and it's killing me inside. How long ...
A. 12 August 2011: Because you are placing way too much importance on him being the first. When you stop doing that and realise that life goes on, you will forget him being the first.
... (read in full...)
Why isn't he doing the little things like kissing and forgiving me?
Q. Should I stay or go? I have on and off (more on) with my bf for about 18 mos. now. He s divorced and has full custody of his kids one girl 4 and one boy who is almost 2. He works alot and sometimes it seems that he just don't have the time I need ...
A. 12 August 2011: I agree with most of the posts above and would add that I think this man has a lot on his plate right now with his son and job and you either need to accept that or leave the relationship.
Part of being a mature adult in an adult relation... (read in full...)
We started out dating properly now he only wants me for sex
Q. hi everyone i met my fwb we started dating properly for a couple of month at the beginning of the year now he only wants me for sex what made him change his mind do you think thank you...
A. 12 August 2011: Not much detail here. It could be anything. Relationships do not remain the same forever. They change all the time for various reasons.
One thing I can say with conviction is that if you are unhappy with this arrangement then leave.... (read in full...)
In a FWB relationship, fallen in love and I know he doesn't feel the same
Q. ive fallen in love with my fwb but i can,t tell him as i know he doesnt feel the same what do i do i can,t stop seeing him it will hurt to much thank you ...
A. 12 August 2011: If you don't tell him and keep seeing him, you're just prolonging the inevitable hurt.
This is a no-win situation for you.... (read in full...)
Words or action, which speaks the truth about this man?
Q. They say action speak louder than words, but I'd like to hear it one more time from you aunts please. My boyfriend says one thing, but his body language and actions make me wonder if his word alone is good enough. He tells me he loves me, yet ke...
A. 7 August 2011: Sounds like empty words to me. How can you forget someome you care about? My boyfriend and I are in touch everyday. Recently he was visiting family 300 miles away but he text me constantly and called whenever he could. I think this man is paying you ... (read in full...)
I cried deleting my ex-girlfriend pictures
Q. My girlfriend left me 8 months ago.Today, I deleted her all pictures from my computer. But while I pressing deleting button, I was feeling like killing her forever. Afterwards and even now I can't help crying. Anyone here has experienced the same ...
A. 31 July 2011: It was very hard for you to do but it was necessary as it part of the healing process that you are still going through. I hope you gain strength from this day on and continue to move on with your life to happier times.... (read in full...)
My best friend and lover made me feel like a used condom.
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I've posted here before and gotten such great advice, words that truly helped me with the problems in my life. Recovering from a breakup I met a boy in one of my classes. Immediately I could tell he was attracted to me, and...
A. 31 July 2011: "He refrained from telling me he had herpes until he was literally on top of me naked, citing just how embarrassing it is to tell someone. Having had a lover who'd had herpes and knowing just how badly it can damage someone's pride I let it slide. ... (read in full...)
He's not offering any support -- am I overreacting?
Q. I'm very upset with my boyfriend and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting or being a jerk. My grandfather was recently hospitalized and has been in and out of congestive heart failure. I am 20 and still living at home. My parents have decided to fly ...
A. 31 July 2011: I think - A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2011) is spot on. Excellent answer.
... (read in full...)
I want him to have a good career and status but he wants to stay and take care of his parents. Is there any solution to this?
Q. Hi friends. I have a problem and i really wanna solutn of dat. My bf is the owner of a jwelery shop or say, his father is. His brother has settld himself and has a good career n status of his own. But my bf is just like a care taker of his fat...
A. 31 July 2011: I think it is wonderful that your boyfriend wants to stick around and help his parents at a time when they need him the most. He is a loyal son and you should be proud of him.
Is it possible that he may be able to return to his studies in a few... (read in full...)
We've been online dating for 2 years but have never met in person once....
Q. How long is too long for a no-contact LDR? When I say no contact, I mean no physical contact. At all. We've been 'dating' online for over 2 years and through that whole time we've never met in person once. I've tried, I've made trips to see him...
A. 31 July 2011: Seems to me like this guy is hiding something big from you like, a wife and family. Why do you let him verbally abuse you for asking for a pic? I'm sorry but I don't think this guy is being totally honest with you. He may want a real relationship ... (read in full...)
Some quick questions regarding smiling at the opposite sex...
Q. Hi there, a fairly simple couple of questions regarding smiling at the opposite sex. As a girl (or lady), do you like being smiled at by a guy - whether you know them, or don't know them. Secondly, once you get to know a guy better, do you sti...
A. 31 July 2011: I think everyone likes receiving a smile but not everyone likes giving them.
I was in a takeaway yesterday waiting to be served and this little girl looked at me, I looked at her and she gave me a huge smile. It really made my day.... (read in full...)
Left my ex and got with a new guy, but now I miss my ex and have ended it with the new guy! What should I do now?
Q. So basically about 5 months ago I came out of a 2 and a 1/2 year relationship with someone called Adam, our relationship was one of those where then it is good, it is really good and when it is bad it is really bad. We had, had our ups and downs to ...
A. 29 July 2011: I think you did the right thing ending it with Adam but I don't think you gave yourself time and space to deal with the end of that relationship before you jumped straight into another relationship with this new guy. Rebound relationships don't work ... (read in full...)
I don't know why I am with her anymore! What should I do?
Q. My gf had a past. she had her ex for 4 yrs. even after being in relationship with me, she cheated me behind my back.she used to enjoy with another guy who was attractive and was her college mate.I made her realise her mistake on time.Now when she ...
A. 29 July 2011: She cheated, you accepted her back but the trust is gone. The answer is simple, if you cannot trust her, you have to end it because you are unhappy.
If you work on building the trust between you then there is a chance you could make this work. ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like I don't want a relationship?
Q. Lately, I have been pondering if I really want a relationship. Being a quiet, observant guy all my life, I seen how much of a hassle relationships are whether it be from school, college, or my siblings. At the same time, I do want to be in a ...
A. 29 July 2011: Non-family relationships are scary and come with risks but without them the world would be a sadder place.
We've all had our hearts broken but they mended again leaving a little scar as a reminder. Relationships are messey but can be wonderfu... (read in full...)
I am faithful to my current Girl friend who means a lot to me. My ex just causes me grief and will not let me see our child. How can I stop my ex hurting us?
Q. hi there im 25 years old. I broke up with my x. After she told me she was pregnant. I am with a new gf now who is 20 and we have been going out less then a year but were living together. i don't see the child because the times that my x gives me...
A. 29 July 2011: I agree with the other post, you seem more bothered about your girlfriend not thinking you're a cheat than you are about your child.
Priorities!
You should look into family mediation where you and you ex can agree through a third party time... (read in full...)
I am really hope we are not drifting apart...what should I do?
Q. I know i sound paranoid but..., its summer break and i miss the guy im with, we haven't been speaking as often,n i guess its because its summer break and hes got a guest at home but still... i just hope we're not drifting apart... hes also my best ...
A. 29 July 2011: Just get on with your holiday, enjoy yourself but send him the odd text now and again. If you concentrate on your holiday, the time will fly by and you will soon be back together again.... (read in full...)
I cant deal with the fact that my boyfriend of two years suddenly wants to break up with me!
Q. Wednesday night my boyfriend of two years unexpectedly rang me up and asked if we could just be friends because he didn’t want to be in a relationship. I feel like someone ripped my heart out, I haven’t stopped crying since. I love him so much and...
A. 29 July 2011: You will be able to live without him I promise you. The pain you feel might be unbearable right now but you are grieving. Go with all the feelings you are experiencing. If you want to cry, cry. Don't contact him or think about what he might be ... (read in full...)
Have you ever dumped someone despite knowing how much they loved you?
Q. Who has dumped someone even if you knew how much they really loved you, and was how much they loved you the reason why?...
A. 13 July 2011: Sometimes love just isn't enough to sustain a relationship. I was dumped by someone who knew how much I loved him but there were other outside factors that were bigger than our relationship.... (read in full...)
Would you date a girl with a moustache?
Q. Hi guys. I just want to know what u guys think of girls that have moustaches and if you can date one. Because i have a friend, a girl that has a moustache which makes her so self conscious and insecure about herself. Also what are the best ways to ...
A. 13 July 2011: Bleaching is not really ideal as in certain light conditions the moustache will look even more noticeable. The best thing to use is facial hair removing cream which is formulated for use on the face. If this is the first time she is using hair ... (read in full...)
I've moved on, why won't he let me be happy ?
Q. Dear cupid i really need some help. Im 17 i was with my ex for about two years. Hes cheated on me twice of what i know of and almost got her pregnant. Hes verbaly and emotionaly abused me. So two or three weeks ago my bestfriend and this wonderful ...
A. 11 July 2011: I think you moved on to this new guy too quickly without properly dealing with your feelings for your ex. You say you truly loved him and he treated you bad. I think you still have unresolved feelings for him and until you deal with them you won't ... (read in full...)
My GF wants me to remove a tattoo from my chest which spells my late sister's name, because my ex had the same name, and my GF doesn't want to be reminded of my ex!
Q. My twin sister died a few years ago in a car accident. I was really affected by her death. She wasn't just my sister but my best friend. I got a tattoo of her name on my chest so that she'll always be next to my heart. I have been seeing a...
A. 11 July 2011: Is this about the tattoo or is there a deeper control issue? Your sister means so much to you and your girlfriend does not respect you or your feelings about your sister. If she can't accept your tattoo, show her the door.... (read in full...)
How do I break up with her kindly?
Q. Ok, I'm a little reluctant to post this as I'm "the bad guy" in the piece, but I could really use some advice. I've been seeing someone off and on for the past few months and I need to end things with her. She really likes me and, despite my tryin...
A. 10 July 2011: Go somewhere public where you can talk, perhaps a coffee place. Don't choose somewhere symbolic like the first place you went out to as a couple. She will want to know why you want to end this. So be prepared to tell her. Also be prepared for tears ... (read in full...)
How do I stop trying to get my cold standoffish husband's attention?
Q. I don't even know where to begin, but anyway!!!! A few years ago my husband left me because I was being a bitch. I was horrible (I don't know why... maybe hormones? Can't explain it) Anyway after he left me I realised what I'd done and what I'd ...
A. 10 July 2011: You're in a vicious circle here the harder you try the more he pulls away and the worse your anxiety becomes. I think your husband has made his feelings clear. Maybe you could try going to counselling? Either as a couple or on your own. It may help ... (read in full...)
How can I be more open and trusting?
Q. Hi I know this problem doesn't directly have a lot to do with relationships but it affects everything in my my life and I don't know where else to try for help. This probably doesn't do this any justice but I hope it's enough About five years ag...
A. 10 July 2011: "I have friends who are very caring and there for me who I trust and can be myself around but I still can't tell them everything,"
I highlighted this part of your post because to me it showed there is hope for you. You keep a guard up because ... (read in full...)
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