A
female
age
36-40,
*minetta86
writes:Should I stay or go? I have on and off (more on) with my bf for about 18 mos. now. He s divorced and has full custody of his kids one girl 4 and one boy who is almost 2. He works alot and sometimes it seems that he just don't have the time I need for him to have for me. I want to get married and start a family of my own, I'm not quite sure he's ready for that. I did cheat on him but I confessed to him. We don't kiss he says it's bc he needs time to heal, does that make any sense? He says he knows what he wants but, I'm not sure he does, when I tell him all the time what I need from him and everything stays the same. If he knew he wanted me why wouldn't he do the little things I'm asking him to do, like forgive me and kiss me? I kind of feel stuck. What would you do?
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 I agree with most of the posts above and would add that I think this man has a lot on his plate right now with his son and job and you either need to accept that or leave the relationship.
Part of being a mature adult in an adult relationship is realising that our partner has a life independent of the relationship, which they must be allowed to participate in without being made to feel guilty. Cheating on a partner because they have no time for us isn't the way to go either and you can't blame him for withdrawing from you.
If you love him, give him the time and space he needs.
A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 If you love him, pls be loyal.
He's a divorced,he endure the pain of broken relationships before. So he's very sensitive person. Yet you cheated on him. If you r on his shoes,what's your reaction then?
Time will heal the pain. Observe him if he's ready
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A
female
reader, Mummy86 +, writes (12 August 2011):
 if you loved him that much why did you cheat on him? he prob doesnt want to get intimate etc because of this, how would you feel if the role was reversed? he hasnt long been divorced and marrige and kids are prob the last thing on his mind, just try to talk to him see what he wants then maybe you could resolve things your both sound ylike you dont know what you want, good luck
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 Some people need more time to heal than others. Perhaps he feels you are not right for each other. If you cheated recently it shows that you are not ready for starting your own family either. If you can accept that he has baggage and would be patient for him, then stick with him and be supportive.
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