A
female
age
41-50,
*ngelav
writes:Hi ive been talking to a guy. We lost contact from high school,but started talking again when we found each other on facebook. we have even hung out a few times. although a few times we did plan but never happened because he was working late. anyways what i wanted to ask was i text him sometimes and the other day he told me not to text him because he is using up all his minutes, because he has a prepaid phone, but he told me after the 25th he will have unlimited texting. Do you think he is mad that i kept texting him? he always says he isnt when i ask him but i dont know. Also we haven't hung out in a long time so i said maybe we can hang out when you're not busy and he said sure when I'm not in shambles anymore, what do you think he meant by that.thank you angela
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male
reader, NinetiesKid  +, writes (15 August 2011):
Have you thought that maybe you're worrying about the wrong thing? He said he's in shambles, maybe he has a lot on his plate at the moment and knows he can't be the reliable person he expects himself to be.
Don't take my words as absolute truth as I may be wrong, I am only saying what I know from personal experiences.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): My first thought is that he either met someone or only started to chat with you as a diversion from relationship problems that have worked themselves out.It could be something else, but,for whatever reason, he obviously is trying to cut things off as kindly as he can.
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A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (14 August 2011):
 I used to have a pre-paid phone and was spending a fortune exchangng texts with my boyfriend, sometimes over 90 a day" Eventually I got a contract phone with unlinited texts. My boyfriends gets a lot of free minutes as he has a business contract or his phone goes dead. He will borrow a friend's phone or swap batteries just to talk! He gave me a phone a few weeks ago with a sim from the same network as his, as it's free for him to call me.
The point I'm making is that if we truly want to communicate with someone we find a way.
I think that fact that you haven't hung out for ages and now he doesn't want you to text means he's trying to slowly cut contact with you.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (14 August 2011):
 There's no hidden meaning, he's busy, cash-strapped, and stressed out. Some people deal with stress better by withdrawing from others than by reaching out to others; maintaining a social life beyond the bare minimum is probably only adding to his stress.
See if he contacts you by next month. Don't expect anything right on the 25th; there's more to his stress than phone minutes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011): He's easing himself away, just cooling it down.
I know somebody who reunited with some guy from her teens via FB,shes 32 now, they dated casually but inbetween dates she inundated him with texts.He asked her how on earth she had time to work when constantly doing this! He then started getting alot of extra work and got busy weekends..seeing his children more.. Then didnt even reply to her texts..He's now with another girl.
Could be yours will resume when he has free texts, you will have to see, why not ring and suggest a date, but remember we all have busy lives and commitments so maybe things are a shambles for him just now?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011): I think he means exactly what he says. He's very busy and it's expensive to text with you. It seems he was pretty clear in explaining to you what his issues were, so I would take his word.
If you repeatedly ask someone if they are annoyed with your behavior...they tend to get annoyed more with the fact that your repeat yourself, not with your behavior. You might be causing exactly the sort of reaction you want to avoid in the first place.
If I were you, I would listen to what he's saying, stop contacting him, and try to distract yourself from your own anxiety about it. I'd leave it up to him to contact you.
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