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He seemed too good to be true and I don't want to lose him. But he hasn't contacted me since. What can I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 August 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *lowerpower810 writes:

Last night I was standing outside of the bar and a very attractive guy approached my (guy) friend and me looking for a lighter. We both pulled out a lighter but I told him that he should take mine because it was lucky- and he did.

After talking to him for a while I found out he was from another state and was leaving town the next day. After finishing our cigarettes I invited him back inside to shoot some pool- he agreed. The very first thing he asked me is if that guy was my boyfriend, and then he asked me if I would like a drink.

I introduced him to my friends inside but he kept close to me. We started talking, and asking each other questions about one another. As the night passed he gave me many compliments about how beautiful I was. By the time bar close came it was obviouse that he didn't want to leave me just yet.

We walked to the corner store together and met back up with my friends. Everything felt so right between us our chemistry was great.

He would look me in the eyes, and we were constantly smiling at eachother. He always laughed at everything I said, although I could tell he haden't met anyone quite like me.

Later on he walked with me and my friends home even though he had no idea where he was. On our walk home I picked up this hilarous sign that neither of us had seen before, and he told me he wanted a picture of the sign.. and me- so I let him.

We talked about seeing each other again, and he kept mentioning the fact that he would be back in three months.I'm not sure how we got onto the topic but he started talking about a reunion that he had to attend to, and it came down to him saying that it would be awesome to show up with such a beautiful girl.

He even offered to pay for my plane ticket to come out. When it came to saying goodbye, I told him that it was nice meeting him and gave him a hug.

Out of nowhere he grabbed my face and started kissing me, after that he quickly ran off to meet back up with the guy who was going to show him back to his car.

He texted me that night and said that he didn't want me to forget about him, and I told him that I could never. I really hope that he is genuienly interested in me and wasn't just drunk.

I haven't heard from him since last night which I am not stressing it but, I really want to purse something with him. He is everything I'm looking for in a guy and I don't want to lose him but, I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO, or if he even feels the same way.

View related questions: drunk, kissing, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (14 October 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntNice update... let us know how the visit goes.

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A female reader, flowerpower810 United States +, writes (11 October 2011):

flowerpower810 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

A few days after the fact he ended up texting me. We talk almost on a daily basis now unfortunatly through texting. We've talked on the phone a few times but, he understands that it's alittle uncomfortable for me still because I am so shy. He will be back in town at the beginging of next month for a few days which I'm excited for. I'm assuming that he's likes me but, I haven't gotten the courage up to ask him I'm kind of hesitant because I don't want to scare him away. Regardless, I'm looking forward to seeing how things go between us when he returns! Wish me luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011):

This guy is a player. Am i the only one who thinks it's TOO obvious?

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A female reader, Lucky786 United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2011):

Lucky786 agony auntIt seems that he likes you but maybe the distance is putting him off?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011):

I agree with the other poster.please let us know what happens.i hope he responds.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2011):

Boonridge McPhalify agony aunthave you tried to contact him? maybe it is up to you to make an effort. if he doesn't respond so be it.

take a chance

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A female reader, sugarandspikes United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2011):

People tend to try to throw all of their eggs into one basket when they're feeling particularly in need of companionship. Right now, your feelings are probably not being influenced by something magical or love, but more along the lines of 'maybe you don't want to be alone.' And, there is nothing wrong with that, it's an unfortunate feeling you'll have to face more often than you think, but it's not a feeling to base decisions on or a reason to torture yourself with the back and forth that comes along with meeting someone. You don't know him. You can't know the entirety of a person's soul within a night- you never really do. But, you definitely do not know enough to say that he is everything you're looking for in a guy. It sounds like you're beating yourself up pretty badly here over what would most likely be a one night encounter with someone who's already told you to not expect him to be a permanent fixture in your life ("I'll be back in three months.") I would say to not expect a call. Not because of you- but because guys that meet someone and immediately offer to fly them somewhere are generally not to be trusted. In this economy, people aren't just handing out tickets to strangers. Furthermore- if he does happen to do that, please don't go because nothing like that comes from a stranger for free. You're placing yourself out of your safety zone into the arms of a stranger whom you may "owe a debt" to in the back of your mind, and most definitely would owe in his mind. I'm gonna take a wild guess that you're between 16 and 19. Maybe early 20s. You should use this time to explore how relationships work and date- not necessarily sleep with- but date people. Find out if your dream men aren't really nightmares in nice wrapping.

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A male reader, Roboaxe United States +, writes (14 August 2011):

Roboaxe agony auntThe guy likes you.

He is just following dating etiquette. He doesn't want to call you or text you too often to avoid seeming desperate. Give him a few days to respond.

If after a few days he doesn't then consider calling or texting him.

Good luck!

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