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I cant deal with the fact that my boyfriend of two years suddenly wants to break up with me!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Wednesday night my boyfriend of two years unexpectedly rang me up and asked if we could just be friends because he didn’t want to be in a relationship.

I feel like someone ripped my heart out, I haven’t stopped crying since. I love him so much and although we have only been a couple for two years he has been one of my best friends for almost 6 years.

I have a feeling he called it off for another girl and although I should be completely furious I just want to be with him. Its stupid little things that make it harder, like sleeping without him next to me or things lying around my room that’s he bought me like jewellery and teddies.

I can’t sleep…I can’t eat and I know it sounds stupid but its true, I cant lie without him…I just want him back even though I feel like a mug. I feel like he doesn’t even care, he has just carried on with his life going out with mates and meeting girls. Its been two days, surly he shouldn’t be this ok with it? He has to miss me a little…

The reason for it being so unexpected is because we had plans to move in together and start our life together as soon as I finish college. He was at my house Sunday night telling me how much I mean to him, he told me he loved me more then anything, but if that were true why did he break up with me? Any tips on how to get over someone… I need to cos I cant live like this, just wishing I was with him all the time, its driving me crazy…help?

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A female reader, Lucky786 United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2011):

Lucky786 agony auntYou will be able to live without him I promise you. The pain you feel might be unbearable right now but you are grieving. Go with all the feelings you are experiencing. If you want to cry, cry. Don't contact him or think about what he might be thinking/doing, your priority is you and no-one else.

You will have good days and bad days and you may never forget him but you WILL get over him.

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (29 July 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

I know exactly how you feel and don't blame you for feeling this way. Just know that we all have been through this pain and it will get better, trust me.

Right now, how you feel is normal. Its overwhelming, having a best friend/boyfriend for the past 8 years and suddenly he's gone.

Its very difficult to continue living life, without someone that was a big part of your life, but it will get better. This might take a little while to get better, but it will. In this case, nobody have a right answer or a solution that will make this feeling go away. One day, you will wake up and suddenly all these feelings, all this pain, depression, anxiety, feeling of loneliness will just disappear.. That's how its, that's the true...

Right now, just be kind to yourself, try to eat well, try to be positive, do things that make you feel happy, like dressing up nicely everyday. Best thing is to keep busy, take this as a positive experience and love yourself, find new hobbies, spend time w/old friends, family, take this opportunity to do the things you always wanted and never had the time to...crying, not eating, looking sad, bad will only bring you down more. People, instead of feeling sympathy, will want to stay away, because you are so sad, and have bad energy. Make sense, right? Would you want to be around someone like that?

It has been only few days, so you deserve the time to grieve, let your tears, anger out, but don't let it go for too long. Its up to you to be strong, be happy, only you control your mind and your life.

Believe me, if you start looking strong, beautiful, positive energy, smile, your boyfriend will be intrigue, not only that, you'll attract many good people around you, both males and females. Bottom line, just know you are not alone, we all been there, its part of life. This will make you stronger, make u a better person. So, its up to you how soon you want to recover from this...

Hope this helps, and feel better soon... Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011):

Hi, it's easy to get over a person, sure it's hard at the beginning but, you have to be able to move forward. As they say Sh*t happens, but you just gotta roll with it :\

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011):

Two years, he calls you up to break up with you? Couldn't make the effort to come round your house to tell you no?

2 days and he's living his life as normal, not a care in the world?

Sounds like an idiot to me, I'm wondering what you see in him. He is cruel, manipulative(making you think you had a future), vindictive(I suspect this is just a game to him) and not to mention selfish- as he has shown no regard for your feelings whatsoever.

For now you need to tell him that no, friends is not on the cards. If he wants a break up, that's what he can have. Cut contact, tell him no calls/txts/emails/coming by your house...go cold turkey. My guess is this will only last a few more days and he will realise your taking this seriously and soon come running. When he does you have to make it clear to him that you won't stand for anymore of these games! And if he ever calls you up to break up with you again then you will treat him like the coward he is and carry on your life without him-say it and mean it!

Good luck

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