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*ucky786 agony aunt

*ucky786

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ucky786's profile:

I live on my own in West Yorkshire in my lovely house. I work in the legal sector and love spending time in Starbucks with my friends.

I am currently single and enjoy my freedom and independence. I love reading walking and watching films. My job is quite stressful so I enjoy activities that serve as an outlet for relieving all that stress.

I've been married, divorced, suffered child abuse and self-harm but I survived all of that! I think that's what makes me the person I am. I've learnt many harsh lessons in life and the most important one is that life is too short to hate those that have wronged us. Instead I thank god each day for his blessings.

I also love my dad very much, more than he will ever know x

< Prev1234567Next > [7 pages, 220 answers]

How can I be more open and trusting?

Q.   Hi I know this problem doesn't directly have a lot to do with relationships but it affects everything in my my life and I don't know where else to try for help. This probably doesn't do this any justice but I hope it's enough About five years ag...

A.   10 July 2011: "I have friends who are very caring and there for me who I trust and can be myself around but I still can't tell them everything," I highlighted this part of your post because to me it showed there is hope for you. You keep a guard up because ... (read in full...)

I love him, but he cheated & I can't trust him, what should I do??

Q.   hey, me and my ex boyfriend split about 3 months ago. we split beacuse i found out he was still with the mother of his baby. when we first got together he was the best boyfriend ever i used to see him everyday but saturdays as that was wh...

A.   10 July 2011: Get back with him...if you want a life of constant worrying and stress and wondering if he is sleeping with his baby's mother because remember this, he is ALWAYS going to have a link with her through his child. He's already proved himself ... (read in full...)

I wana come out of my past wounds!

Q.   One year back my girlfriend left me thinking I had no secure future career wise. For that, I still hold some grudge in my heart for but the love is also there. But I want forgive her and move on with my life which seems to have stuck in the past. ...

A.   10 July 2011: You need to forgive her for ending your relationship and that will help you to move on. If you don't forgive her you will always hold the grudge and will never move on from it.... (read in full...)

I don't want an open relationship anymore but my partner has a problem with commitment.

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 and a half years. We've seen eachother through really rough times and we do love eachother, but we decided to have an open relationship. I don't want an open relationship anymore though but he has a ...

A.   10 July 2011: You want an open relationship rather than none at all but you're not happy with it being open...? To me you're just talking about degrees of being unhappy. Why settle for second best? If you want to be in a committed relationship with this man... (read in full...)

My fiance is addicted to internet and phone sex!

Q.   my fiance loves women and he talks to women all the time about everything. he befriends them and then have sex with them over the phone. he is addicted and i dont know what to do. we look at certain flicks together but he is too deep into it..what ...

A.   10 July 2011: Why is he still your fiance? If he lies to you and the trust is gone then I'm afraid there is no future in this relationship. If you can put up with his addiction stay with him. If you can't leave him. It's that simple.... (read in full...)

Is he a player or is he genuine?

Q.   We always chat. Like, whenever he comes online, he'd message me immediately (even when he just woke up). We'd talk for four hours or more. We talk about random things and we even have our own private jokes! However, whenever the conversation tak...

A.   10 July 2011: You're never going to know if he is a player or not until you meet him, chat to him face to face and get a fuller view of what he is all about. Online messaging is fairly anonymous and trying to work out what someone is really about just from ... (read in full...)

Why does everyone like to talk about themselves but never want to listen to me?

Q.   Why is it that people want me to listen to their life stories constantly (females especially), but when it comes to me, everyone just thinks of it as annoying. Is there a limit on how much you should talk to yourself? I know that my aspiration to ...

A.   8 July 2011: Think about this...In a conversation the one with power is not the person doing the talking but the person who is listening...I prefer to listen, I learn more about people from listening to them and asking them questions. Sometimes people talk abo... (read in full...)

How can I change to be a better me ?

Q.   I am a fairly confident person. I get on well with a lot of people. I am friendly, im sensitive, I feel I am genuine, nice etc. People have told me this on a number of occasions. However, I have lacked confidence for a fair while due to all...

A.   8 July 2011: You just need to be yourself rather than trying to mould yourself into something you are not. Believe me people can tell when someone is acting in a non-natural way because unless you are VERY good your true self will out you one day! Seems... (read in full...)

How can I stop people from asking when I'm getting married?

Q.   I got a question. i have friends and a few family members who want to know when i'm getting married. i have already told them that i am NEVER getting married. but for some strange reason, they keep pestering me about it. how can i put a stop to ...

A.   27 June 2011: Tell then you're getting married on the 10th...the 10th of never! If they carry on tell them you haven't met the right woman and when you do you plan to elope. BTW try not to let your experiences from your younger days influence or stop you from... (read in full...)

What would be your interpretation of this man and the possible motivations behind this behavior?

Q.   I have a good one that I found flipping through the various internet pages. In fact it is a context to a story I had read but yet poses some interesting fodder for all of you aunts if you would kindly oblige. What would be your intereptetation ...

A.   27 June 2011: He was curious and probably just as lonely as her.... (read in full...)

How do I stop feeling so sad and to stop myself for feeling like it was my fault?

Q.   My boyfriend of two years told me yesterday that he was distancing himself from me because he hates talking to me now and he wished I never loved him because he stopped loving me and then he finally told me that he cheated on me. I took off the ...

A.   27 June 2011: There are ways to break up with someone we no longer love and the way your ex-boyfriend did it isn't one of them. The fact of the matter is that this guy did not have the guts to end things like a mature adult and instead decided to cheat on you. ... (read in full...)

How long are we supposed to keep "poking" each other on Facebook?

Q.   This guy i like sent me a poke on facebook last night. I tried to send one back, but it didn't work . My internet was slow at loading at first. So then, he sent another poke about an hour later and i sent one back, and he has sent another one this ...

A.   26 June 2011: You've got his number so stop poking and get ringing!... (read in full...)

I keep getting it wrong with women!

Q.   I can't get in the game, I don't understand how to take the right approach with all this dating game, yes there are so many beautiful women that I can have and they are also available around where I live,but my problem is I can't approach them ...

A.   24 June 2011: You've got to get to know these women first in a friendly non-sexual way then you can decide how to approach the ones you'd like to get to know better.... (read in full...)

He didnt invite me to his sister's wedding, nor has he even told his family about me! Am I right to be upset?

Q.   Would anyone on here be upset that your boyfriend hadnt asked you to his sisters wedding? Ive being going with this guy for the last 8 month. His sister gets married next weekend, he has talked about the wedding and the plans for it but never on...

A.   23 June 2011: After 8 months? No you are not overreacting at all. You deserve some consideration and whilst I agree with what Annalisa has said about only close family being invited, if this was the case it would have been nice for him to at least tell you this, ... (read in full...)

How do I forget him for good?

Q.   So my ex and I ended like six months ago. Ill admit that even though I make myself believe I'm over him my heart just keeps yearning for I him. There hasnt been a day in the last 6 months where I don't miss him or think of him. We have had absolute ...

A.   23 June 2011: You can't really DO anything other than realise that this yearning is part of the healing process that you acknowledge is taking place. You are hurting and the only way your mind thinks the hurt will stop is to see your ex again, but that really ... (read in full...)

What does his slience mean? Why is he not calling me?

Q.   well...my ex came back to me after a long break up.But at that time I refused to mend up because he left me for another girl. Anyways I accepted him and everything was going smoothly at the beginning. after 4 months he again started avoiding me. ...

A.   17 May 2011: You're lucky if I switched my phone off for a week, my ex would have had the Police at my house checking if I was still alive! If he cared about you he would be in contact. If you had switched your phone off he should have at least sent a tex... (read in full...)

Untrustworthy behaviour?

Q.   Background: I have been quite close to an older guy for a number of months. We ended up getting quite close and he tends to flirt with me, especially when we're alone - though nothing has actually happened yet (he's married). He's been very ...

A.   17 May 2011: He's a married man flirting with a female who is not his wife. Of course you can't trust him!... (read in full...)

Girlfriend asks me out to lunch but expects ME to pay!

Q.   i have problem. My gf of 18 months, pregnant for 8 months now and we work 2geta she said we have 2 go 4 just lunch on this cuming monday if i m off . Thats excite me very much i said and then she said u will pay and i told her i wont cause i dont ...

A.   21 April 2011: How much will lunch cost? Why not have a picnic instead? You bring the main course and she brings dessert? ... (read in full...)

The communication between us has gone way down...did he lose interest?

Q.   I met a guy on Plenty of Fish, we texted back and forth for a month with pretty standard 'get to know you' questions, e.g.: what would you bring on a desert island, what are your parents like, etc. After a few weeks of texting and establishing that ...

A.   21 April 2011: There is no way you are being needy at all. I think it is reasonable to presume that he will at least text to see if YOU are okay and that YOU haven't been hurt. Anxiety takes so much energy out of the human body and i just don't think he is worth ... (read in full...)

Sometimes I wonder if he’s really into me

Q.   He never calls me pretty, he rarely wants sex, I don’t feel very desired, I used to love getting little messages every morning but they never happen anymore. We used to seem to turn each other on big time, but now he doesn’t seem pushed. I’m very ...

A.   20 April 2011: I read somewhere that men get away with what we women LET them get away with. He is treating you like dirt because you let him. Until such time that you wake up to the fact that you deserve better, you are going to keep on letting him treat you like ... (read in full...)

The communication between us has gone way down...did he lose interest?

Q.   I met a guy on Plenty of Fish, we texted back and forth for a month with pretty standard 'get to know you' questions, e.g.: what would you bring on a desert island, what are your parents like, etc. After a few weeks of texting and establishing that ...

A.   20 April 2011: I don't think this guy has, used you. I do think he wants to get emotionally involved but something is stopping him. Whether its a past hurt or past rejection whatever, point is he has to be wholly ready for a relationship 100% and not act hot and ... (read in full...)

Why can't I connect well with other people? Is there something wrong with me?

Q.   I'm originally from USA but I've been living in Mexico for the past several months. I love it here, and I've made some wonderful friends, but something has been tearing me up inside lately. I'm worried that there's something profoundly, and ...

A.   20 April 2011: You have achieved a lot so well done. Not sure I'd be able to move to another country and I can't speak 3 languages or play a musical instrument. You have achieved so much on the outside yet so little on the inside...? I'm talking about se... (read in full...)

How can I get over this girl?

Q.   after 3 years of a virtual life with my long distance girlfriend that i have never met, she leaves me !! i cant believe this is happening, im crazy in love with her and so was she, but lately she was acting so weird, she always uses the excuse ...

A.   20 April 2011: I agree with DB.... (read in full...)

I'm dating a guy I like, but don't love. Now my ex shows up and wants me back

Q.   Just saying, Im Gay first. Okay here is my problem, I'm dating this really really great guy and I really like him, but i dont love him. Its been about a month and things are getting really serious. About 2 days ago after 4 weeks from talking to my ...

A.   20 April 2011: Your relationship with your ex ended for a reason. Think about that reason and then think whether the reason for your break-up is still an unresolved issue. If it is, then really you shouldn't go back. Sometimes love just isn't a good enough reason ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he end it with me?

Q.   hello everyone. . Can you give me some advise please? My boyfriend of five years is very down and i want to help however it seems i am the onlY person that he gets nasty and up tight with. If i was down he wouldn give two hoots but yet its a massive ...

A.   17 April 2011: "Why doesn't he end it with me?"....why don't you end it with him?... (read in full...)

I just had anal sex. Am I still a virgin?

Q.   Okay I know this is a stupid question but am im still a virgin? I mean...my boyfriend and I just did anal...and im wondering if im still a virgin. I'm kinda naive about that subject. Im sorry...

A.   10 April 2011: I agree with LustyLisa.... (read in full...)

I want our first time to be without a condom!

Q.   My girlfriend and I of a year have made a decision to have sex. We plan on doing it really soon as in a few days, and I want to make it the best experience for her. I've heard that she could get pregnant from my precum which is a problem that I ...

A.   2 January 2011: If that is what you want to do then your girlfriend needs to be on a regular birth control pill and to be extra safe, she needs to take it for a full menstrual cycle month before you both have sex without a condom. By the plan b pill, I take it ... (read in full...)

I broke his trust and don't know how to make things better.....?

Q.   Hi. So I've been seeing this guy for just over 3 months now, but we got together when he still had a girlfriend so had to keep it all a secret from our friends. They broke up a couple weeks later and since then we have still kept everything quiet. ...

A.   30 December 2010: Why is he keeping you a secret again? I kind of missed that bit. Listen up why the hell after 3 months are you guys still a secret? What has he got to hide? My man and I got together in similar circumstances and didn't tell anyone...anyone ... (read in full...)

Guys are so confusing! Come on now!

Q.   So it's been about 3 weeks that weLve been broken up. My ex and I and He's stating that "I'm glad we're friends, It's better than nothing at the moment"....WTF?? I know, I like being his friend to but why does he continue to flirt with me, have sex ...

A.   26 September 2010: You haven't really broken up have you? I mean the words haven't been said by him have they? That's what you're waiting for isn't it? Him to say 'it's over' or 'it's back on' Forget it. He is keeping you as a back-up plan. He wants to be single but ... (read in full...)

How do we get out of this rought patch we've hit?

Q.   I've been dating this girl for almost five months. Before her i was in an abusive relationship with someone else who constantly put me down and made me the most insecure person in the world. My current girlfriend and i have just recently been ...

A.   26 September 2010: Communication is the key, or so we're all told. I say communication + timing is the key. In a nutshell, right now you are bugging her. Your insecurity from your previous abusive relationship is the driving force behind your present actions ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for breasts to be flat when a woman is lying down?

Q.   I have a somewhat silly question I haven't seen asked here before. I have size C breasts - good enough when standing upright, but when I lay down they go flat...too flat for my liking. I wish they defied gravity haha! So my question is, do ...

A.   25 September 2010: Fake boobs stay upright 24/7 standing up or laying down. Real ones go flat.... (read in full...)

My wife wants to work things out but I don't think I can

Q.   i have been with my partner for 8 years we have a most delightful little girl who is five. back in may we got married. in june things started going wrong. we did nothing but argue. this continued for the next couple of months and now i have bee...

A.   25 September 2010: If you don't trust her then there is no basis for a future. I'm surprised that you fell in love with someone within 3 months of splitting up with your wife who you'd been with for 8 years. My advice would be to forget the new person and concentr... (read in full...)

My boyrfriend has addictions to drugs and harming people and animals

Q.   Hey guys, I have a problem that I'm coping with and I would appreciate it if you could help! Recently I hooked up with a boy from my team sport. He's fifteen, I'm sixteen, despite the age on my account. Anyway, I'm really into him and he's extremel...

A.   1 June 2010: A lot of serial killers started out killing and torturing animals as youngsters before moving onto human prey. This relationship is so unhealthy for you, you need to get away from him now.... (read in full...)

After I masturbate, its hard to pee!

Q.   I'm a girl, after I masturbate it's hard to pee...Eventually once I do I have to go a lot. Is this normal? If not, I'm too scared to tell my parents. Please give me an answer....

A.   31 May 2010: It is absolutely normal.... (read in full...)

I am scared and in love and don't know what to do :( Please help me!

Q.   Well, ok I have been dating this girl for about 5 1/2 months. And at first we were both a tad nervous so when we didn't do the little stiff it was ok, but now that is really starting to upset me. We started dating in December and first said I love ...

A.   29 May 2010: Sounds like she does not want to be with you anymore. Or she wants something more casual. You have fallen for this girl hard and I think you might be coming across to her as being needy and desparate which is making her pull away more, so you cling ... (read in full...)

How soon will I know I am pregnant?

Q.   me and my partner have just started trying for a baby after 5years of beeing together. how soon should i do a pregnancy test after we have done the deed?...

A.   18 May 2010: You have to wait for your period due date. Usually if you're 5 or more days late, do a test. Good luck.... (read in full...)

Third time that someone has "wanted a break"

Q.   Question: When he says he wants 'a break' does it always mean it's the end of the relationship? Should I hang in there or should I move on? Hello everyone, I am not used to replying to blogs or doing anything internet related, however I 'g...

A.   16 May 2010: I'd move on if I were you. If you're not good enough for him now, why would you be good enough for him in 6 months, 9 months or a year? I think YOU NEED A BREAK from dating. You also need to work on your self-esteem. You say: "I will never c... (read in full...)

He wants pictures of my body!

Q.   Okay so I know some people will think this is a bit of a stupid question, but basically a guy I've been getting quite flirty with online has asked for a few pics of my body. But the problem is he hasn't really specified much and I haven't done this ...

A.   15 May 2010: A note of caution, any pictures you do send him, could end up anywhere and everywhere!! I wouldn't send him a picture of my middle finger, never mind anything else. ... (read in full...)

He's let me down after this unintended pregnancy, and he's making me feel very low!

Q.   Hi...im in a bit of a mess and dont usually do this sort of thing but my family are bias (obviously) and i feel i need some impartial and objective feedback and advice. I am 35 and have been in a relationship with my partner for 16 years. We ha...

A.   12 May 2010: You say your family are biased and have come here for impartial advice. Is this really true? I fear you have come here wanting to read answers that say "it's okay,have the termination and stay with this guy blah blah..." Sorry, I'm not going to... (read in full...)

What does it mean when a man (your ex) stares at you?

Q.   I was at a party last week, and some friends and I decided to go to the bar. When I was there I went with a friend to get a drink and I sat in a chair waiting for on my friend to get his drink, when I saw my old flame, he started staring at me, and ...

A.   6 May 2010: Maybe he was just being nosey/curious? Maybe he wasn't sure it was you and needed a good look? Maybe his eyesight is not what it used to be or... ... maybe he was looking at the chick behind you? Lol! Whatever hun, it's over he is your ex, forg... (read in full...)

We're not really dating but he interested. How do I break this off?

Q.   How do you break it off with someone you're not technically with? My and this guy aren't dating but liked each other and for the past 3weeks we've been meeting it his house and making out lots and cuddled up on his bed, but when I'm with him I keep ...

A.   3 May 2010: Stop going around to his house.... (read in full...)

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