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He makes 6 times the money I do but he won't spend anything on me.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 September 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *by writes:

I met a new guy weeks after i ended up the relationship with my worthless boyfiend.Now We are dating for about three months relationship.He is a successfull man,he makes almost six times of what I make at my job; but it won't spend nothing on me. He call me anytime to prepare food for him, he borrow money from me when he doesn't want to go the bank. he never give me the money back. He told me if i want something,i should let him know; and when i do he pretends to be care and get away with it.He say he loves me,he will not spend a day without seeing me.He wants to meet all my family,we talk about future including getting married and have child.He is a respectfull and well educated man;but he is the only child in his family.I think being cheap might be a result of the way he was raised(spoilled child);however he has enough to act well among me.I love him so much already cause he was the only man i fall in love for after a five year relationship.he really understandable,but i am affraid that he is using me because he seems too cheap.As we ve been dating for only three months,do you guys think he might buy me a candy one day or i should stop the relationship with him.Thanks to everyone who will takes time to read my question

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (2 September 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

Don't ever give him money again,he doesn't pay it back!!! Dont cook for him either unless he brings the wine or wine and dessert. Ask him to ~ or he will take it for granted your providing the lot

Also, maybe he's testing you to see if your after his money or him as a person?

However, just because you love him doesn't mean you do whatever he asks, that puts you at a disadvantage straight away.Be assertive, start making relationship bounderies.Talk to him about the things that bother you,he's not a mind reader.He might have more income than you,but what are his outgoings?

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A female reader, Lucky786 United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2012):

Lucky786 agony auntI don't think this man's attitude to money makes him a good candidate for marriage. Maybe as an only child he hasn't learnt to share etc.

Try speaking to him about his reluctance to spend money on you. If he doesn't change, then you'll have your answer.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntWell, I think you should stop giving him money. You call it lend/borrow, but since he doesn't pay you back, it's giving in my book.

If he asks you to make dinner for him - give him a shopping list, tell him bring x,y,z.

He is not a mind-reader, you HAVE to remember that.

You sometimes have to VERBALIZE your needs to your partner.

However, you two have only known each other 3 months, so I would perhaps not expect him to buy you stuff unless you tell him to.

Will he on his own volition buy you candy? I have no idea.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012):

He borrowed money from you and never gave your money back?? Stop doing this. Your money is YOUR money. Is not your husband. You work hard also. Next time he asked you money just say" Honey I am sorry but I am very short...And you will see how he behaves after that...If he changes..You have your own answer..

Dont believe in what he says..pay attention in what he does..

He can have some attentions with you. You deserve it.

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