A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My brother wants to be a lawyerI doubt that he can become a lawyer because he did so poorly in highschool. No one in the family has ever become a lawyer or doctor so why does he even try He signed up for community college. He study's all day and all night. For his dreams.. No one accomplishes there dreamsI told him that he has no chance at being a lawyer. That by the time he even becomes a lawyer he will be 30 and by that time he will forget the information he learned only geniuses become lawyers..He told me.. Hard work always beats talent or genius anyday. I'll prove you and all of my doubters wrong That I'll accomplish my dreamsWhy does he even try.. How do I convince him to give up? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (29 August 2012):
 I echo HughJ's sentiments. Assuming this post is legitimate then what you're doing to your brother is dreadful and despicable. You aren't protecting him from hurt and disappointment. You're trying to set him up for it.
What would you think of him were he to apply this ridiculous philosophy to you? What if he stole money from you in small quantities here and there to innoculate you from the trauma of an even bigger loss down the line? Would you be touched by his concern?
And what is wrong with being 30? People don't keel over and die of old age at 32.
Leave your brother alone and mind your own bloody business. If you're not willing to make anything of yourself then at least don't sabotage someone else from trying to. If he fails, he fails. He can try again or move on to something else. No big deal.
A
male
reader, ChaseTerrier +, writes (28 August 2012):
Funny, in high school, my brother did really well while I did really bad. In college, I did really well and my brother did really bad.
And no matter if he fails or not, you should NOT even try to convince him to give up. He will either succeed or fail. But either way, at least he had the guts to try.
If you try to convince him to drop out and he does, he may end up hating you for it. If you try to convince him to drop out and he fails (not passing enough classes), he may use you as a scrapegoat. If he succeeds at becoming a lawyer and you try to convince him to quit, he may hold a grudge against you anyway.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (27 August 2012):
 What the hell does the rest of your family have to do with anything? No one in my family went to college but my sister did and she's an RN. It seems like you are extremely jealous whether you want to admit to it or not. You are content at doing nothing because your family did nothing and that's your excuse but your brother is going for his dreams and if he actually made something of himself? Well then you would just be a loser with no ambition and no excuses for it. Even the fact that he is going for it is probably more than you ever did and it makes you feel crappy. That's the problem. Jealousy of siblings is natural but keep it to yourself. Let him go for what he wants. If he makes something of himself maybe that will give you the kick in the pants to do something with your life as well. Stop trying to convince him he will fail because in all honesty is will just push him even harder and make you look like a complete jealous ass. Why worry yourself so much with his life? Get your own. Surely when you try and really think about it you can come up with the answer for why you want him to stop trying.... Maybe try being honest with yourself and apologize to your brother.
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female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Wow your brother is soo ambitious..you should be proud of him taking the courage to follow his dreams..whether he succeeds or not he will never regret anything..if I were you I would encourage and motivate him..
I know a friend he barely scraped through high school and is now one of the leading dermatologist in australia..
So don't under estimate anyone..
I wish him all the best x
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male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 I've just read this post again because I couldn't believe it, and the more I read the more I become convinced that it's a troll post.
Surely nobody can be so pig-ignorant as to think like that and decry worthy ambition in a sibling?
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male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (27 August 2012):
How dare you! You, clearly a loser, have the temerity to try to undermine the determination and ambitions of a dedicated worker.
I was a College lecturer for 20 years and in my experience, it is those who work hard who succeed - obvious, isn't it?
I truly hope he gets the highest grades possible, just to rub your negative nose in it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): "How do I convince my brother to give up on being a lawyer?"
Think of what it would take for your brother to convince you to make something of your life other than getting yourself knocked up by the first deadbeat loser who looks your way (assuming it hasn't already happened) and living the rest of your life on welfare, then do the opposite.
Don't knock your brother for having dreams, goals and ambitions; why don't you start thinking of your own dreams, goals and ambitions other than popping out a succession of unwanted, unplanned kids you can't afford by a succession of deadbeat losers who won't support them?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): He has ambition and a different attitude than you and the rest of your family, so maybe just maybe his hard work and determination will pay off. And to be honest I hope it does, and I hope he proves all the doubters wrong.
Is jealousy the reason you're against this idea of him ever amounting to something?
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female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (27 August 2012):
 I don't think you should discourage your brother from trying to fulfill his dreams but rather you should encourage him to have a back-up plan in case he doesn't make it.
Becoming a lawyer is less about fantastic grades in school per se. Law firms are looking for "all-rounder" candidates who have travelled, done volunteer work as well as a good education. By the way most of my lawyer friends didn't become qualified until they nearly 30.
As long as your brother is realistic about his abilities I don't think he will go far wrong.
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reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Wether your brother succeeds or not, he will always be a winner because he has the right attitude and determination whereas you my friend, more or less by your own admittance, will always be a loser.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): You should be proud of your brother! He is trying his hardest to fufill his dreams, and you and your family are making it harder by not supporting him, do you know how hard that is?
How would you feel if you had a dream and everyone told you to give up?
You only live once, and yeah okay he may not make it, and then you can support him then but at least he gave it a shot which not very many people do these days, he's got determination and that's really going to get him far.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Wow with family like you who needs enemies.
Let your brother try.
don't be a negative nellie...
everybody needs dreams and goals..
what are yours?
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female
reader, katiekate +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Do your brother a favor and keep your negativity to yourself. Just because he has goals and aspirations while you and the rest of your family don't, doesn't mean he can't succeed. Here's a little bit about me:I didn't do well in high school. I barely graduated, with a 1.7 GPA and even had to take a night class in order to graduate with my class- not because I was dumb, I just didn't try and was more concerned with skipping class and partying on the weekends. I had my son one year after graduation. When he turned 2, I started at community college, where I did so well, I earned a full academic scholarship to several universities. I finished college at one of these universities, graduated with Magna Cum Laude honors (3.7 GPA), and earned by teaching degree. I am now a high school English teacher. You know how many people probably doubted me? Well, now they are eating their words. And I did all of this as a single mom and holding down a job. A little side note: I wonder how many people thought Barack Obama could never become anything....Not only should you be encouraging your brother to work hard and follow his dreams, but so should you. What are your dreams? Stop being negative and complacent and go after them.
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reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (27 August 2012):
Have you tried to become a lawyer yourself? If not, what do you actually know about it? You’ve just made a snap judgement based on your own prejudices and now you’re trying to discourage your brother. No-one fulfils their dreams? Actually, sometimes they do. If your brother were saying that he wanted to be a lawyer without actually bothering to do anything about it, you’d have good reason to gently discourage him, or to at least make him aware of the scale of the task of accomplishing this ambition. However, if he’s working hard and showing a serious commitment, that is worthy of encouragement. But instead of trying to encourage him to meet other lawyers and get advice, to keep working hard, and to find out what he needs to do to achieve this ambition, you just stamp all over it with wild assertions that only geniuses become lawyers. I know plenty of lawyers: they’re intelligent, hard-working people. They put long hours in to their studies to achieve their goal, but they are by no means geniuses. What’s your problem: what does it matter that no-one in the family has been a lawyer yet? There’s always got to be a first. Do you feel threatened by the possibility of him achieving so highly? It’s reassuring to hear that he sees this as ignorant negativity and that he is using your attitude to increase his determination, rather than give up. Remember that when it comes to success and achievements, so much is about attitude: he has a dedicated and committed attitude that will serve him well. If he listened to you, he wouldn’t only give up on his ambition to be a lawyer, but he would have all his confidence sapped away and wouldn’t find the resolve to try something else. So all in all you’re setting him up to believe he’s a failure, very nice! If you’ve nothing constructive to say, be quiet!
I wish you all the very best.
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