A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and My ex girlfriend have split up for about 3 weeks now and I dumped her because we started having arguments and we never really took off if you know what I mean? I had many people tell me she was cheating on me with work mates and so forth. Also my parents caught her smoking without me even knowing she smoked at work and no offence to anyone who does smoke as it's your life and so on but my family does not like smokers so that didn't go down too well. Now I like this new girl, we both are so much alike and have a real good time and are thinking of now dating but my ex girlfriend and her mates are going to try and ruin us by lying to her and so on. What shall I do about this as I'm sure my new girlfriend won't want this in a relationship and I may lose her.Please help, anyone who can understand what I'm going through as I can take this as an adult and will do but I really need some help many thanks!Simon...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): Hi, Simon. I know what you're going through. I was in the exact same situation, except her mates didn't like me and I didn't like them. She just put her mates before me and cheated on me twice.She said she loved me and would never leave me. She dumped me because I was boring she said. I gave her two chances because she cheated on me and I didn't like her friends because I knew what they were like. She was already flirting and I just knew it would happen. I said to her - you keep flirting, I know what they're like. YOu're going to end up mucking around and then end up kissing.It happened and it was killing me inside. It was like she didn't even know she had a boyfriend sometimes. That's what caused all of the arguments.If she really cared and loved me like she said she did, then she would have given me another chance at our relationship.But, trust me, you know if she really loves you at the end of the day. My advice is get with someone who cares about you and really loves you. Someone who knows how you feel at the end of the day. Simon, you know if your girlfriend really loves you and is not just saying it.
A
female
reader, girl with a point of view +, writes (13 August 2007):
first of all tell your new girlfriend that your ex will do anything to get you apart and that kinda makes you want to make things work even more to prove that it will work and .laugh at you ex tell her she looks pathetic and needs to get over it cause youve found someone whos much better for you good luckxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol yea i know dw about it i sent her a bill of £600 to get it all re sprayed and she has to pay it now since her key has red paint all over it :P and the girl i am seeing has just said yes to me i know its very soon and all that but we are so happy so its all good :) many thanks to everyone!
Simon.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (13 August 2007):
 Blimey i know where you're coming from with the keying of the car thing. That petrifies me about my ex of 5 weeks ago. He drinks in the pub next to my house most nights since we split & im hoping to god he doesnt touch my car!
I also had to change mobile number & get caller display on the land line phone.
I hope it works out for you. Its a nightmare when someone wont stop harrassing you! She will get bored enough soon.
Take care.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Everyone And Many Thanks For All of your help it has made me feel alot better now and i have spoken to my x gf in person and told her streight that she has no right to be in my life no more and she still wont back off so thats still a problem she has already keyed my car and cant be proven by the police (What A Suprise!) but i have taken the girl i like to a nice resturant and told her everything she needs to know and she said she will stick by my side through anything which made me feel so much better and her perants have been told and so have mine so its all good up to now also i have made myself disapear from my x by changing my mobile number ect so thats helping many thanks to you all again if you still have any ideas on how to get rid of my x please feel free to give ideas all will be much help many thanks again...
Simon.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (13 August 2007):
Hi,
I think the best thing would be to take your time with the new girl. Continue to be mates with her and have a laugh, but give it a while before you move on to more. That way, you will probably find that your ex has lost interest, so there will be no problem at all. It’s also a good idea to leave a bit of a gap between partners, because it helps to get your own head sorted out as well. If you do get involved with her now or later on, and your ex does try to make trouble, just explain about it once without making a big deal out of it. Don’t moan about it after that, because she won’t want to hear that. If your ex continues to be silly, I would speak to her on her own and tell her that she is making a fool of herself, advertising to the world that she isn’t over you and hasn’t got a life. Ask her why she has no self-respect, because you had thought better of her than that. It’s mean I know, but if she carries on, then she really needs a shock to make her realise how childish she is being.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys and many thanks for the help you have given me i have tried to talk to my x gf and she wont back off shes one of them girls who i wish i never even dated now becuase shes is just a totaly diffrent person now and shes liying to her perants on why i dumped her shes telling my perants stuff which is not true and my new gf which i have asked to take to a restruant and tell her everything she needs to know is very understanding of this and said she will go through it all with me by my side which is good news does anyone know how to tell my x tho to just stay out my life i have almost made myself disapear off IM changed my mobile number my home number evrything but she still seems to want to rewin my life shes keyed my car but cant be proven to the police what a suprise! im just fed up of it any more advice you can give would be very much aprechiated thanks!
Simon...
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (13 August 2007):
I would speak to the new girl & explain it all.
Its too soon really to be getting into anything with anyone. My ex had literally just split with someone when i started seeing him & it was a nightmare i didnt need to be honest.
At first he told me when she txt & how she was threatening this n that, but she did rile me, and he decided to keep things from me after that. Nedless to say i never fell for him because i knew he was lying. An ex can cause a relationship to literally die on its feet. So i would even go as far to say stop dating the new girl & just be mates for now, tell her why, that you expect a rocky ride for a while with your ex, and hang out as mates.
Then anything that does go on with your ex wont be anything to do with your new girl.
Its your call though.
Good luck with it.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): It might be a little too early for a new relationship, but that's not really the matter...
You have to confront your ex gf. Tell her that after you broke up, what you do is your business. She has nothing to do with it, but move on with her life. Tell her she's being immature. If needed, tell her to get a life (sometimes being harsh is the way to make people understand).
Then talk to your new girl, and tell her that even though your ex gf is adding stress to your relationship, she hasn't got to worry about your feelings for her. That you like her and only her, and that she shouldn't trust your ex gf or her mates. Reassure her.
Hope it helps, but most of all confront your ex gf. Her behaviour is just wrong. She has no right to ruin your life, or any life for that matter...
bye!
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A
female
reader, oikid11  +, writes (13 August 2007):
 Here is the plan Simon. Tell them that you didn't mean to hurt your ex, that it just wasn't working. Don't bring anything else up but the smoking part if needed("My parents weren't really keen on the idea I was dating a smoker, and I wanted to not break their beliefs.") don't bring up the cheating and all that jazz. If theycome around and take your side and decide to lay off, you don't have a problem anymore. If they do have a problem still, go to your girlfriend, wheether it is by phone or seeing her for real, not email, im or txting, and tell her the truth. I recomend telling her that you have never had sex(or if you had, you have never gotten a girl pregnant.) U would never cheat on her. You don't smoke,. yu don't do illegal things, and you wqon't pressure her into anything and all that jazz. I don't know what you are like so that is all the advice I can give you on that topic in my advice. And then tell her that there is a group that is going to lie about you, and that they are only trying to get dirt on you. It will protect you two as a couple
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A
male
reader, HelpingHand7 +, writes (13 August 2007):
 talk to the girl that your thinking about dating be clear with her about everything and if there is something that your ex. knows about that could be potentially heartbreaking to this new girl, its better she hears it from you then someone else. vise-versa talk to your ex. and ask that she stays out of your business.
hope this helps
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