I respect girls and treat them right. So why won't they date me?
Q. Dear Everybody I'm 14 and surrounded by people my age with boy/girlfriends. All the boys in my year group are perverted and simply 'use' these girls to feel them up etc which is highly inaporpriate and In my opinion, very rude! I am one of onl...
A. 5 July 2007: Yos thinks he will get in trouble, but speaking as a woman, I think he’s right. I don’t think it’s anything to do with ‘nowadays’ as the other poster suggested. I’m pretty ancient, and when I was at school, most of the girls fancied a small number ... (read in full...)
He got mad at me..when he proposed marriage and I thought he was joking! What should I do?
Q. I've known this guy for years and there was always a connection and flirting. the other day he proposed marriage to me and while he was being serious i thought he was joking. he got really mad and now he says he doent even know if he wants to ...
A. 4 July 2007: If I read your question right, you hadn’t got beyond flirting when he proposed to you? If so then I can understand that you thought he was joking. I think it’s pretty rare for a man to propose before a relationship has even started. What if he had ... (read in full...)
Why do men look at other women?
Q. Why do married men--or any man for that matter--stare at other women when they want to be with you and they love you and all that stuff? Men are so confusing sometimes I'm surprised I have nerves left....
A. 4 July 2007: It depends whether you mean an admiring glance at a pretty girl, or staring for ages. All men look at pretty girls. Women look at men too. This is normal and OK, if it’s an admiring glance. If he stares and stares, and ignores you, then it isn’t OK, ... (read in full...)
Should I call him sometimes, or leave the calling up to him?
Q. my bf always does the calling everyday and everynight. im afraid that time will come that he will felt bored about the situation, as if its a responsibility rather than his likeing to talk to me. i always want to call him sometime but i dont want ...
A. 4 July 2007: I agree with the reply below. Maybe, he wanted to take the lead in the relationship at first, and 'playing it cool', can be wise very early on, so that you don't crowd him. But, I bet he will get the idea that you don't care very much if you carry ... (read in full...)
He went on holiday with his ex, but says he wants to be with me when he returns!
Q. Long story, Short version! I met a great guy, but he had a gf! After seeing him for 3 months he left her, not for me because he did not want to be with her! A month later he asked me to go away with him on holiday and I could not as I have ...
A. 4 July 2007: Dump him! He cheated on you, and then he lied about going away with his ex. A one night stand might be a one-off mistake, but he didn’t ‘accidentally’ take her away on holiday with him did he? And now, he has the nerve to say he wants to come back ... (read in full...)
Why won't he kiss me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months but he has never kissed me. When I bring the subject up, he says he is planning a perfect first kiss. Should I believe him or is he cheating?...
A. 4 July 2007: I doubt very much that he is cheating if he is too afraid to even kiss his own girlfriend. He has got a problem though. Certainly, 3 months to plan the perfect kiss is excessive! It could be any one of many reasons, which you will need to persuade ... (read in full...)
Why can't I leave a man I don't really like?
Q. I have posted many questions to Dear Cupid regarding my current relationship (listed below) but now I am coming out of being anonymous as I think that maybe it is me who has the problem for staying with this man when I seem to be unhappy with so ...
A. 4 July 2007: I would think you stay because deep-down you are afraid that you won’t find someone better. I’m not going to be glib about this, like it’s tempting to be with a 20 year old in your position. I am older myself; I would be terrified if I had to leave ... (read in full...)
I don't like his new relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hey, I'm back. I just found out last night that the 19 yr old guy I liked dumped his girlfriend, but there's more. He is going out with another girl now. I don't really believe that they like each other because she has been in five different r...
A. 4 July 2007: Well if he is seeing someone else, how could you leave him? He isn’t yours to leave. What the other girl has been doing previously to when she got together with this guy isn’t your business. If he is seeing both of you at the same time, then he ... (read in full...)
I always cheat--how can I stop?
Q. I was wondering if from everyone's experience that the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" is true. I am asking because I have cheated on every boyfriend I have ever had except my current boyfriend and am terrified I will do it again. I alwa...
A. 4 July 2007: Well it’s in your hands, and no one else’s, so you need to do something about it, because we all get older, and eventually you will stop getting the forgiveness and the offers! Do you always start one of these flings when drunk or under the ... (read in full...)
The condom had a hole--what do I do now?
Q. I am 14 and yesterday I had sex with my boyfriend. It was with a condom, but on the end when he pulled it out there was a little hole. What should I do now? Please help me--I don’t want to get pregnant. ...
A. 4 July 2007: Morning after pill - quickly! the effect is reduced the longer you wait. See your doctor immediatley.... (read in full...)
Should I tell the guy I just slept with I have genital warts?
Q. i was treated for genital warts a few months ago and i recently slept with my ex should i tell him as i think they are comin back...
A. 4 July 2007: One thing I didn't make clear below was that I was, and still am in a monogamous relationship. Therefore ununprotected sex was OK after we were both clear. One of us had unknowingly contracted it before we met. Obviously, unprotected sex is not a ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my wife's sister!
Q. i am in love with my wife's sister...she is getting divorced. i am not in love with my wife anymore.i want to be with my wife's sister...should i tell her and hope for the best or what...
A. 4 July 2007: There is no law against it - I think – actually there might be in some countries. Assuming you suspect that she loves you too – you didn’t say - think about the uproar this would cause. You would still have to be in contact with the family if you ... (read in full...)
I feel my girl bullies me into saying "I love you"... !
Q. I feel that my girl blackmails me or bullies me in to calling her or telling her "I love you" everyday. If i don't i feel paranoid about loosing her somehow. And i am not able to empathize with her situation when i get paranoid and just start to get ...
A. 4 July 2007: Being emotionally forced into saying I Love You will only have the effect of making you resentful, so your reaction is completely normal. It’s a bit of a sweeping generalisation, but in my experience, most women find it much easier to say the 3 ... (read in full...)
Should I tell the guy I just slept with I have genital warts?
Q. i was treated for genital warts a few months ago and i recently slept with my ex should i tell him as i think they are comin back...
A. 4 July 2007: Hi again,
Re comments below -
Well like I said, it was my doctor's advice. I got them, I was treated. My next smear showed that they came back. Worried and annoyed that I might have been misled, I went back to my doctor. The advice was quite cl... (read in full...)
Should I tell the guy I just slept with I have genital warts?
Q. i was treated for genital warts a few months ago and i recently slept with my ex should i tell him as i think they are comin back...
A. 3 July 2007: I am absolutley sure. genital herpes, and genital warts are 2 completely different things. Genital warts are caused by the Human papillomavirus(HPV). This is a serious problem, because repeated infection can cause cervical cancer - but it is ... (read in full...)
Could sperm survive from our first sexual encounter to our second 1/2 hour later?
Q. ok, here it is. yesturday me and my boyfriend had sex. we used a condom but then we did it adain no more than half an hour later. he didn't come out but could there still be sperm from the first time and would it still survive? is there a chance ...
A. 3 July 2007: I don't completely understand what happened after reading your question a few times. Sperm can survive for quite a while inside the human body, and even outside for a short while. If there is any chance that some got in there, then yes, you could ... (read in full...)
I am worried about what my friends would say if they knew my BF was a virgin
Q. my boyfriend is 18 but he has never has sex. i am a bit worred about mine coz all my other m8 have 18 year old bf and their bf have all had sex before. but i dont wont to tell them that my bf has never had sex becouse i am worred on what they would ...
A. 3 July 2007: Insecurity makes some people think that they all have to be exactly the same in order to fit in. Maybe they have convinced themselves that having had sex with a boy who has also has sex; they are suddenly ‘women of the world’. Well, no, actually, ... (read in full...)
My Mom wants me to intervene in her fight with Dad, but I am afraid I will make it worse
Q. Im sorry this is a kinda long qiestion, my parents have been together for over 30 yrs, but a few weeks ago my father created an argument and walked out on us, my mother wants me to speak to him as she has tried but to no avail. Im not a child, I...
A. 3 July 2007: This too much pressure on you. Obviously your mum knows you have a good relationship with your dad up to now, and that’s why she thinks you can help – man to man. But however close you are, he is your dad, not your best mate – there is a big ... (read in full...)
Should I tell the guy I just slept with I have genital warts?
Q. i was treated for genital warts a few months ago and i recently slept with my ex should i tell him as i think they are comin back...
A. 3 July 2007: They are curable. My doctor told me so and she was right, they never came back. You only have them forever if you keep passing them back and forth between yourself and your lover or lovers. If you get them treated properly, and abstain from ... (read in full...)
Does he need to be dominated?
Q. Do british men like sex and bondage? i have dated a spanker but other than that he is a limp bisquit in bed. Could it be he wants to be dominated? What suggestions do you have? ...
A. 3 July 2007: You mean ALL British men? - ALL 30'ish million of them?! Funnily enough, British men vary quite a lot, just like all other men in the world. That's like asking "Do all American men like to do it in just a stetson and leather boots?" Ask him! ... (read in full...)
I've got a boyfriend; should I go on holiday with my male friend who fancies me?
Q. Is it wrong to go on vacation to Europe for two weeks with my best friend, who happens to be a guy with a huge crush on me, when I am just starting to date someone new? I know the new guy I'm seeing gets jealous from time to time, and he knows my ...
A. 3 July 2007: Think about how you would feel if the situation was reversed. Your new guy is going away for 2 weeks with an attractive girl who really fancies him. Why do you think she would be going? For the culture? The sun? Meeting new people? I don’t think so ... (read in full...)
I have recently found out that my best friends boyfriend has been cheating on her!
Q. hi i have recently found out that my best friends boyfriend has been cheating on her! My boyfriend was the one who told me (as my friends boyfriend is his mate) but he said if i tell my best friend he will finish with me. i don't think he would ...
A. 3 July 2007: Well I would dump the boyfriend for a start. He can’t tell you something like that and then ask you not to tell your friend! He’s expecting you to gossip about her behind her back, and deceive her. And you know what else this means? He doesn’t think ... (read in full...)
We broke up after four years, he still thinks he has a chance with me. I don't want him back though.
Q. Hello Everyone. Hope you can help as my feelings are all over the place. I split with my partner after just over 4 years together. That was in February and it was my decision. We didn't live together or anything and my gut feeling was that the ...
A. 3 July 2007: You fell out of love first. Unfortunately, that's often the way. Because he still loves you he is finding it hard to believe that you haven't just made a mistake, that if he waits around, or can fix whatever the problem is, you will realise that you ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my teacher... well it's an obsessive crush anyway!!
Q. I'm in love with a teacher - well i suppose it's an obsessive crush really! And the thing is, he appears kinda paranoid whenever i stare at him - which is literally whenever he steps outside the staff block! Right, i'm mad about him and i want him ...
A. 3 July 2007: He could get in serious trouble if anything at all happened between you. He could lose his job. He could be prosecuted. Even if people were suspicious, and he had done nothing wrong, he could suffer serious consequences. Do you want that to happen? ... (read in full...)
Why can't I handle it when my boyfriend wants to go out without me?
Q. ... my boyfriend and i have been in a relationship for one year and six months, we're both 18, and when we first started going out we both had our own lives, and we used to have other friends, etc;. but after about six months we became more ...
A. 3 July 2007: In the first mad months of being insanely in love, it is quite normal for both of you to want to be together all of the time. Then after about a year or 18 months, this obsessive kind of love does ease off a bit. This is a good thing, because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves me but won't commit
Q. Hi I've been in a relatinship for 4 years now.I love my boyfriend dearly and Im pretty sure he loves me too. My problem is he just wont give me a commitment! For the past 6 months all we do is fight over this issue. My parents are aware of our rela...
A. 3 July 2007: It's difficult to know whether his reluctance to commit is because of his family, or because he doesn't really want to commit. If he is already thinking that it might end in divorce, then I think it might be reluctance unfortunately, and the family ... (read in full...)
Do I dump my 2nd family for my 1st wife?
Q. I am married for 13 years with 3 kids, a great family life and friends, I am very successful. Sounds great, huh? I have one issue... I am not in love with my wife, I am done "trying" to love her (yes, we did seek therapy and yes things are better ...
A. 2 July 2007: Here’s an old-fashioned response. Twice you have promised to stay with a woman for the rest of your life. You messed-up once, and now you are thinking about doing it again. Once you have children, the commitment to a marriage becomes doubly ... (read in full...)
How can I help my partner through her bereavement?
Q. Hi, you know when your partner is going through grief of losing a close family member what sort of things can you do to help? By this I mean are there any sorts of activites we could do together to try and take her mind off it? How can I show her ...
A. 2 July 2007: You are feeling uneasy because you feel you should be able to fix this problem, like you fix other problems for her. You can’t of course, so don’t feel guilty about it. My mum died unexpectedly a few years ago. All I needed from my husband was his ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me...how do I not hurt him now?
Q. My boyfriend of six months just broke up with me. I'm heartbroken. This stupid part of me still loves him, and I'm actually so much more worried about his broken heart than mine (He still loves me too). What should I do to ease the pain for bot...
A. 2 July 2007: Definitely cut off communication. He may miss you as a friend, but if he broke up with you, he isn’t heart broken. If he says he is, it’s because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, or he’s too embarrassed to admit he doesn’t care any more. You ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want to live and is destroying himself with booze
Q. My boyfriend finished with me 2 weeks ago then we spoke about things and got back together because both of us wanted to be with each other. we have been together for 4 and a half years. He ended it again today stating that the only way we can be ...
A. 2 July 2007: I know this is a tough thing to say, but here goes anyway. He may well have finished with you and threatened to kill himself, even actually tried to kill himself, to up the emotional tension in order to keep things the way he wants them. He may not ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my new girl the details of my last relationship?
Q. Hey, am wondering if you could help me please. A few months ago, I was with a girl for all of 8 hours before she told me she wasn't sure if it was what she wanted. nothing more than a kiss ever happened, and that was the end of it. Tried to be f...
A. 2 July 2007: It would be difficult to mention it without it sounding like a big deal wouldn’t it? A relationship of a few weeks is one thing, but an 8 hour one-kisser can be safely ignored. Why would she find out anyway? Not telling her isn’t the same as telling ... (read in full...)
Should I play it cool or forget the whole thing?
Q. Hello all im new to this site and im really in need of some advice. I recently looked up a girl i dated when i was 15 and we fell hard for each other but the sad thing is she moved a short time later while we were together and then i seen her again ...
A. 2 July 2007: Absolutely no question. You are both single, you are both excited by this – what is there to stop you? Fear of it not working? That applies to every relationship. Think how much you will regret it if you let this chance slip by. If it doesn’t work ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me badly when he's upset or stressed
Q. I need some help. My bf is soooo stubborn and selfish when he is upset/angry/stressed. I can't handle how he behaves when he doesn't get his way, or isn't in a good mood because I feel like he takes it out on me, and he withdraws from me which leads ...
A. 2 July 2007: One question – is this every time he’s had a bit of a bad day, or is it just recently or after a really bad day? This is important, because whilst it’s true that every relationship involves putting up with some unreasonable behaviour, it shouldn’t ... (read in full...)
My guy will not tell his parents about us
Q. Hi. My name is Caity and my boyfriend's name is Damien. We are both fifteen and have been going out for 13 months now. The problem is, he won't tell his parents that I exist. When I ask him why he says he doesn't know, or that his father is strict. ...
A. 2 July 2007: A few parents are ridiculously strict, nosy, or controlling. Maybe he just doesn’t want the hassle that introducing you would bring, because he knows from experience with his friends that it isn’t worth it. Of course there may be more to it. He ... (read in full...)
I don't have the courage to ask her out as I feel unattractive
Q. HOw can guys that know that they are unatracticve, build up the courage to tell a girl how he feels about her? I want to tell this girl how ii feel about her, but I am not the best looking guy around. you can say I am one of those kids in highschool ...
A. 2 July 2007: There isn’t an easy answer at all. The only way is to just do it. Keep in mind that if she says no, it will only be a few seconds embarrassment. Being asked out on a date is a complement, so most girls will be flattered and nice about saying no - ... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't make any effort to keep the friendship going--is this normal?
Q. Hi everyone I have a question relating to a friendship. I have been friends with x for 7 years and we have a good friendship, the problem is that she doesnt always seem to want to make the effort to see me and sometimes doesnt bother to answer...
A. 2 July 2007: Maybe you text and call a bit too much? Do you always call to talk about your problems? If so, lighten up a bit. If not, I would find some new friends, and let her be until she wants to contact you. It may be that she doesn’t think the friendship is ... (read in full...)
I'm having my first crush and I don't know what to do
Q. I am a 14 yrold boy with a first ever crush. Its so bad that i cant sleep! My crush is on my best friend's 15yr old sister. Im fat and shy. I dont have the courage to ask her out or ask for my best friends permission. I dont know what to do.I know ...
A. 2 July 2007: Honest answer? Probably nothing is going to happen between you - 15 year old girls tend to fancy 17 year olds. Now that you have completely ignored that remark, we can get to what you are going to do about it. The answers are 1. Do not mention ... (read in full...)
I spend a lot of money on her all the time and I feel she doesn't appreciate it
Q. I currently live with my girlfriend. I feel that she is very ungrateful to me. I pay 2/3 of the rent, and all of the food and utilities. She makes twice the money that I do (I'm a student) and spends all of her money on her horses. Whenever we go ...
A. 2 July 2007: Both real men and real women pay their way if they earn a good wage. She shouldn't expect you to pay more than half of the household expenses, as well as all the other stuff, if she earned the same as you, let alone if she earns more. That isn't ... (read in full...)
How do I keep a first date short in case I need to escape?
Q. I recently came back from a college retreat (to experience the campus and possibly apply to as seniors) and found someone who i'm interested in. He likewise. We've kept in touch for a few days through email now and want to continue that, but in ...
A. 2 July 2007: Everyone has this problem at first, and it’s never a bad as you fear. One way to make it easier is not to just go for a drink, or a meal, where you have to sit and face each other the whole time. How about bowling, where you can laugh about how ... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable about his family
Q. so im just looking for some opinions on a recent event that happened. its long so i apologize in advance. so heres what happened. early last week my brother, myself, and my mom got into a heated argument about nothing that lead my brother into a r...
A. 2 July 2007: I wouldn't worry too much about what his parents suspected. Parents worry so much more about us than we ever realise - until we have kids of our own and then we finally know how it feels. I bet they have worried unnecessarily about all sorts of ... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in our 5 year relationship because of contraceptive worries
Q. I'm a rare brand of guy, I'm 22 and a virgin. I've been with my girlfriend for slightly under five years now. We never had sex yet because well, I always assumed at some point she would get birth control. I was hoping she'd get the birth contr...
A. 2 July 2007: Statistically condoms and spermicidal cream are nearly as protective as the pill anyway, it depends on how careful you are. Based on the fact that you have waited 5 years because of this, I expect that you would be a lot more careful than most. You ... (read in full...)
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