A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am 15 and my boyfriend is 19 and he wants to have a baby with me, I also want one but I feel that I am too young. please help me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): chick if you think you are to young dont ahve one im 17 very muture for my age my partner is 20 almost 21 .. i want a child but think i am too young it is very hard and we both have a good income a week jobs that offer maturnity leave ... but unless you have been together for like for ever dont do it ... my first love we were going to have a baby but out of no were we broke up ... so i look back if i had of had a child my kid would now be with my x and his skank gf (lol) which i would hate ... give it a year or two if you can trust no you will be together go for it .. but you ever no wats a round the conner you are the girl some guys want babys but when they get here they run and of course mums left with baby (in most cases of young fathers)hope my advice heaps
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): If u do it ur gonna regret it cuz everyone I know that has a baby as a teen wishes they waited. 90% of them seem to break up after they're baby is around 1 cuz now that the baby is there and the excitement is over u two get bored of eachother. I would wait til im with my bf at least 3 years at this age. Teenagers change so much because they are growing up and becoming who they are gonna be as a person and if ur gonna have a baby its not bout what u want. U need to be steady and at least drive a car first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): want a baby but not conceived so far
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (17 August 2007):
 can i just say...its kinda illegal to have sex under 16....:S and yes u are too young your right there...uve got your whole life ahead of you...go out partying and have a laugh...dont tie urself down just yet
Good Luck
All the best
x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): Are you sure that you are ready for such responsibility? Or better yet, are you sure that this man really loves you?
Better check first. Maybe this guy just sees love as sex. Love is not just sex. Love is happiness and contentment between two lovers. I do hope you decide well on this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): Just adding my two cents here because I agree with all the other Aunts. You are right--you are way too young to deal with such a life altering situation and such a huge, profound responsibility. What is your bf thinking? From that moment of birth your life, your future changes. Everything such as education, travel, career takes a secondary role to raising a baby. It's darned hard work. and it is round the clock feedings and diaper changes. Babies are fun, cute and cuddley, but babies are the ones that have the unrelenting emotional 'needs' must be accommodated, night and day-to flourish healthily and grow up happily. As the Mother to a baby, you will give up a social life and every waking moment will be holding, feeding , burping and changing this baby. Your life and his life as carefree teenager will end. Many young people use their head and they will postpone any thoughts of babies, until they have a better footing in their life. They wait until they are done their education, they get established, they learn, they gain more life wisdom, maturity, insightfulness and ...then they settle down and have a family. I want you to be one of those people. So now---talk to your bf and get him to stop and think about what this baby will need, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. He's momentarily had a brain fart and forgotten that your future is at risk. Any hope of a career will be twice-triple as hard to attain, with a child in tow. So when I read letter like yours which displays your bf's lack of forethought for other (you and this baby) people's wants and needs, I cringe and I think..is this is all about his needs, hun? And that is not the mark of a mature male who should be thinking of fatherhood. He's not thinking with clarity..give his head a shake.Stick to your convictions and tell the bf, 'this idea of a baby is a no-go'.
And also tell him."before you have any child, you want a commited husband, not a bf, because any child you have will have the best and that means two parents who are mature and can provide a good life for a child, all on their own." Not living at home with Mom and Dad, still. If I were you, I'd wait, grow, develop yourself, enjoy life, have fun and get your education and career underway. Then marry this bf of yours, who will support you while you stay home and care for your baby when you are both adults. But in order to do that, he needs to get his life in order and have a career so he can help you raise this child. I wish you all the best, dear but be a smart girl and think this through, rationally. And just enjoy being a happy, carefree adolescent. Don't allow anyone to pressure you to grow up too fast. Life is too short...enjoy your youth! Take care, hun.
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A
female
reader, x_goddess_x +, writes (16 August 2007):
 omg you have plenty of time to have a baby you should live first and you can't do that with a baby besides you're way too young and he might get done for rape even though he aint please don't let him pressure you into having a baby, live first xxxx
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (16 August 2007):
 Don't let him pressure you into having this baby, you are far to young, and below the age of consent too.
Ask any 15 year old mother if they would have the baby again if they could turn the clock back, i bet they would say no.
You are 15 coming up 16, you should be having the time of your life going out with mates, discos, partys, not changing nappies and getting up at 2 in the morning to feed and change a baby.
All the best xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): the exact same thing happened to me. my bf whos 17 wants a baby. i wanted one too but knew it was too young and i have GCSE's and stuff to do.
Then i got a scare that i might be preganant, it shook us both up we decided we do want kids but now isnt the right time. it would be unfair on the child and we would both be alot happier if we had a house and money first. Dnt rush into growing up. make the most of your freedom. once u have a kid its a long time till ur free again.
I think you need to tell your boyfriend that you do want one but your not ready yet.
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A
male
reader, Everlasting Love  +, writes (16 August 2007):
the age difference is a problem, ask your self do you really want to have a baby at such a young age I'm sure your still in school and having a baby while in school is very tough and this boyfriend is older then you are, matter a fact, he's an adult. personally I think he just wants the sex, but as Cupid's little helper, I believe that if the both of you want a baby that badly, you can wait. if he truly loves and cares for you then he'll wait
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Well I think you already know the answer to this one. You are too young and I for one think its very responsible of you to come right out and admit that. However one thing that struck me when reading this was why? Why would your bf ask this of you?
Is your relationship otherwise stable? Is it possible he is asking this as a way of making the relationship more stable. Maybe he thinks that if you bear his child the relationship will become more stable. I dont know if this is the case but what do you think?? If it is then putting the relationship on a more stable footing might be the solution. Hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, JessIzFit +, writes (16 August 2007):
 hey, it will be best for you and the baby if you wait till your older. And if you deceide to have one now remember you'll be breaking the law,
Take care
Louise
XXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): no no no no no. do not let yourself become pregnant. you are 15, you havent had any life of your own yet, you havent had experiences that you deserve to have. you have all the time in the world to have children and this in time will be with your bf or with another.
dont be pressured into this. you can become so much more than (probably) another statistic.
if you do have this child odds on it will be you left holding the baby.
being a single parent is a hard hard job so my advice would be until you have the wedding ring, the house with mortgage, good jobs, and life experience tell him to JOG ON!
in the mean time for gods sake use every kind of protection you can.
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A
female
reader, Tina Selby +, writes (16 August 2007):
At the end of the day its you how carries the baby for 9 mouths. I think you are too young to have one If your boyfriend loves you he should undrestand if you dont want to have a baby yet at the end of the day it up to you and your boyfriend
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): Oh Hunny,
Please, please do not have a baby...
Are you using protection? You have to, it is so easy to fall pregnant at your age. If not find your local family planning clinic, either online or in your yellow pages and phone them, they have times for under 19's to come in and talk about contraception, you can get the pill, they will be able to give it to you, without having to go to your doctors.
Tell your boyfriend that you think that you are too young but we can discuss it in a few years and see how we feel then
You are far too young for a baby, believe me. I have grown up watching mates at school have babies at 15/16 and they thought they could cope that it would be fine and they loved their boyfriends etc. But they ended up finding out that it was harder than they had ever imagined. No money, living in a tiny council flat that leaks and is always cold, with a baby screaming all hours and no future, all of them are not with the baby’s father either anymore. The never go out, have a social life and basically are miserable. You have a whole future ahead of you and you don't know what amazing things and places you will do and see in the future.. Clubs, college, girly holidays. You won't have a future if you have a baby.
Please don't do it, wait till your 18 and then think about if you still want one. I can guarantee you, you won't your be having too much fun
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (16 August 2007):
Hi,
You are right to think you are too young. Maybe your boyfriend wants to prove what a big man he is by fathering a child. If he was such a big man, he would be thinking about what is best for you. And being a mum at 15 isn’t the best thing. You need to be finishing your education, and getting out into the world. You have several more years of living, growing and enjoying yourself to do before you settle down to such a massive commitment. Remember, there is no going back with a baby. It is 18 long years of responsibility. Most of the time, young dads lose interest after the novelty has worn off, and it is the young mum that is left on her own to cope. Tell him you are not ready. If he loves you, he will understand.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (16 August 2007):
Hi,
You are right to think you are too young. Maybe your boyfriend wants to prove what a big man he is by fathering a child. If he was such a big man, he would be thinking about what is best for you. And being a mum at 15 isn’t the best thing. You need to be finishing your education, and getting out into the world. You have several more years of living, growing and enjoying yourself to do before you settle down to such a massive commitment. Remember, there is no going back with a baby. It is 18 long years of responsibility. Most of the time, young dads lose interest after the novelty has worn off, and it is the young mum that is left on her own to cope. Tell him you are not ready. If he loves you, he will understand.
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Firstly, it's against the law, if you actually became pregnant while you're 15 and it was common knowledge this guy was your boyfriend, he could be arrested/imprisoned, very likely infact seen as he's an adult.
Secondly, you have a future to think about, yeah, babies are lovely, and it's nice holding them, cooing over them etc, but are you ready for the 24 hour commitment? Nappy changing? Feeding at all hours? The child screaming?
At 15 you should be in school still, so wouldn't a pregnancy completely disrupt that?
If your boyfriend is 19 and seriously wants his 15 year old girlfriend to have his baby, he's out of line really. He's old enough to know by know how big a commitment a child is and he should also know that you need your childhood, you are still a child afterall.
I'm near enough the same age as you, and there's no way I could manange a child.
Just think, he may want you to have a baby now, but when he needs to start providing money, helping you with taking care of it, what if he buckles under the pressure and leaves you?
I think you should definitely wait, tell him no, that you're way too young.
Sweet, you need to settle your own life before you even think about creating another.
Good luck in whatever you choose.
Xx
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