I need to be sure she is marrying me for the right reasons. She doesnt show me affection!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been going out with my partner for bout a year. I really love her and care for her greatly but I find myself fighting for her attention. She seems to care more for her family then she ever would me. I find myself doing sil...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi,
I would certainly allow some more time before getting married. She may have issues with showing affection which can be dealt with, but you need to be sure that this is the problem before committing yourself.
It’s stating the obvious a li... (read in full...)
Is it ok to stay in a relationship that has not commitment until I find something better?
Q. I am involved in a relationship that has no commitment. I have been questioning whether I should continue or go find a guy that is willing to commit. I get my self all worked up to tell him that Im not going to keep having sex and this ...
A. 24 July 2007: No it isn't bad. You have both been honest with each other about what you want. The only reason to stop is if it is hurting you because you have strong feelings for him that he cannot return. Then you need to end it to protect yourself.... (read in full...)
Now that she knows marriage is imminent my girlfriend seems to be questioning everything in life
Q. for the past eight months my girl friend has been begging to get married. now that she knows it is close she seams to be second guessing everything in life it seems. so, could some one just tell me that shes just scard and it is normal, or should i ...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi,
I was scared as the time approached, and I love my husband more than anything else on earth. It is scary – in fact it should be if you are taking the commitment seriously. Most likely, she is just having normal nerves, but why don’t you sit ... (read in full...)
She's meeting me for lunch - does she actually like me or just think I'm a nice guy?
Q. Does she like me? Some people may have seen previous posts about me and a relationship break-up that has been really tough. I'm hoping for a bright new future and being a little out of practice on the dating side wondered if I could have a few ti...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi wigglywood,
If it was me, I would have assumed that you were interested in me when you asked me out for a lunch. It wasn’t connected with work, and it wasn’t an off-the-cuff invite when you happened to be going the same way. It was a definite... (read in full...)
He answers my questions strangely or not at all
Q. my bf of a year replied me with this phrase everytime i asked him where did he came from or how's his day, he answers me but if im trying to ask him again for confirmation he told me this "oh,you always ask me questions, why not think about it first ...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi,
I don’t think I completely understand your question. If you ask him the same questions several times, then of course he will be impatient, and you must try not to keep asking. Also, it is not a good idea to ask lots and lots of question... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and live in the UK; can I get a home by myself? I'm worried what I'll do to my parents
Q. dear cupid i would like to know is it possible to leave my house at the age of 16, because i am finding it difficult to live with my parents as i am always causing them problems and trouble. i am living in the UK by the way and just want to kno...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi,
I think it would be difficult for you to move out, because housing is very expensive, and I’m not sure that people would want to rent a flat to someone as young as you.
Could you write a letter to your parents explaining about your fears... (read in full...)
He was with another girl while we were on a break
Q. Im 16 years old my ex boyrfriend and I were together for 7.5 months. We did argue sometimes but never anything serious. There was always this girl that really bothered me that he used to hang out with, so while he went to go see his friends she text ...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi,
If he hasn’t lied to you in the past, then I would take his word for it. He thought you were finished, his friends said you were and he believed them. Often a break does mean you are finished. Sometimes people say they want a break when the... (read in full...)
How can I orgasm when he is on top for a change?
Q. I can only get orgams when i'm on top? How can i get and orgams when he is on top?...
A. 24 July 2007: When you think you might be ready, stick your legs in the air, and tilt your bum upwards as much as you can. This will tilt his pelvis forward so that you are getting the right stimulation. It is difficult to keep this up for long periods, so timing ... (read in full...)
I've messed up big time and get sick thinking about what I've done. Now my husband despises me. Help!
Q. I am a woman aged 45. I have been married for 25 yrs and I have done a really really stupid thing. I was in my local watering hole recently (my husband had gone home)I was annoyed with him and I was also menstral,hated the world etc. I got so drunk ...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi,
If only you had a time machine! I really feel for your desperate embarrassment. We have all done stupid things that we can hardly bear to think about. People do really out of character things when very drunk. It’s a very slippery slope on... (read in full...)
After living together for 6 years and having a daughter w/ me, he left me for another girl! Why can't I get over him?
Q. My boyfriend and I was living together for more that 6 years and we have a daughter together.We have known eachother since primary school.He left me for another girl and it's been 4 months now. Does he realise what he has done? What his he thinking? ...
A. 24 July 2007: Hi,
I am so sorry that you are going through this distress. I think that maybe you just grew apart. You were teenagers when you got together, which was very young to settle down permanently. Now that you are both 6 years older, you have changed ... (read in full...)
This girl I recently got to know told me she likes me; I don't feel the same way but I feel bad about rejecting her
Q. Hi Everyone, I'm sure there's been numerous topics like this but, there's this girl that's in my summer school class that I just got to know. She just told me that she liked me, but the problem is that I don't feel the same way. She confesse...
A. 24 July 2007: I would just say that you really like her, but as a friend only and leave it at that. If you say 'we'll see what happens later on', it sounds like you think you might be interested. That would be unfair as she might think you are just asking for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's father is my mother's half brother.
Q. Hi, I'm 27 and my boyfiend is 23 but we have a problem. His father is my mother's half brother and we been together for a while and some people know but my mom doesn't and I don't think its a good idea but anyway, I was just wondering what I can do ...
A. 23 July 2007: Hi,
You are half cousins (I think) - ie you have one grandparent in common, whereas you would have 2 grandparents in common if your mum and his dad were full brother and sister. I honestly don't know how much risk there is in this degree of relat... (read in full...)
How can I convince him it's over?
Q. Hi. I need some help in convincing my partner, (should be ex-partner by now) that our relationship is over. We were together just over 4 years and we split up last November. We decided to get back together early January but split again in the...
A. 23 July 2007: Hi,
It’s the old cliché – cruel to be kind. He so wants to get back with you that he will see any friendly contact from you as a sign that you still care in some way. OK, you do care as a mate, but he just can’t see it like that. The fact that you... (read in full...)
What's the chance of getting pregnant while on the pill?
Q. ok what are the chances of getting pregnant on the pill and how can i tell when are my most fertile days?...
A. 23 July 2007: You don’t mention the type of pill. If you are on the combined pill, then it is very effective as long as you stick to the rules. 98 – 99% effective is the commonly quoted figure. That’s about as near to completely certain as you could get. If you ... (read in full...)
Do people just come out with spontaneous compliments sometimes?
Q. Hi all, this is just something that bothered me while my girlfriend and I were together, and kind of still does. (Very quickly: We were together for 2 years, separated by 200+ miles, broke up 3 weeks ago) Anyway, we'd be on the phone sometimes,...
A. 20 July 2007: I think she probably has big problems with opening up to people. Some of my family are a bit like your girlfriend. They say nasty things without really mmeaning it - as a joke. This sounds weird, but it's very difficult to explain. I think it's a ... (read in full...)
I bleed every time we have sex!
Q. My boyfriend and I just recently started having sex and everytime we do, I end up bleeding! I thought it was normal the first time but now I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me because I always start bleeding whenever we try to have ...
A. 20 July 2007: Because you only recently started having sex, the most likely reason is that the first time you were not quite patient enough, and you got a tiny tear in the opening. Then if you do it again very soon, it hasn't had time to completely heal and it ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that my ex is my online stalker on MySpace?
Q. Back in October, somebody appeared on MySpace and started stalking me. They kept telling me all these things they knew about me, including where I had gone to lunch that day etc. I figured it was one of my friends, but I saw fairly decisive ev...
A. 20 July 2007: Hi,
If she could have known the things that the stalker knew about you, then it could have been her. But have a good think about this before you decide that it was. Could she really have known all of those things? You don’t want to blame her for ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and still don't have a regular period! Is this normal?
Q. im a 16yr old girl weighing 6 1/2 stone and i still dont have regular periods (my last one was 4 months ago) is this unusual? is it because i am thin??? thx xoxo...
A. 20 July 2007: Yes, I'm afraid that is the reason. Girls don't usually start having periods until they reach about 8 stone. Even when you have started your periods, if you dip much below 8 stone they will stop again. This is because your body knows that you are ... (read in full...)
My bf is really upset that I can't orgasm! How can I get it through his head that only 30% of woman orgasm during sex?
Q. So, My boyfriend and I have been having intercourse for 5 months and i cant orgasm. I've been having sex for four years and never have. I'm okay with it, but my boyfriends not.... He gets very upset and tells me to believe in myself that i can. How ...
A. 20 July 2007: Hi,
There isn’t much that’s MORE unsexy than trying to force an orgasm that just isn’t there is there? You are right, a lot of women don’t during sex. And often, when we do, it’s not that spectacular. I bet he has been with one or 2 convinci... (read in full...)
Would it ruin our relationship if I tell him I was sexually abused?
Q. I was sexually abused when I was a child. I really like this boy, but I don't know if I should tell him. Should I tell him about my past? Would that ruin our relationship? Would he look at me differently and never want to come too close to me?...
A. 20 July 2007: Hi there,
I would not rush into telling him because you can’t unsay something once it is out. I don’t mean that you need to keep this a secret, because you have nothing to be ashamed of. But you were obviously very badly hurt by what happened... (read in full...)
How can I help my friend here?
Q. I'm 21, and my friend's 19. She got married 6 months ago to a 40-year-old man who she's been with since she was 17 - and said that they married for love not money (he was a nice guy who was a builder, and said he wasn't wealthy, just lives a good l...
A. 20 July 2007: Yes it is a huge age gap when you are 19. They will be poles apart in so many things. It would take a very special couple to really make this work. Not all 41 year old men have no sex drive. My husband has a pretty healthy one. I have no doubt it ... (read in full...)
My mother in law even had the nerve to open our mail...
Q. I have tried to get close to my mother in law, but it feels like she only puts up me because I'm married to her son. She always has something nasty to say, but it is usually when it's just her and I! For example it was just her and I in the car ...
A. 20 July 2007: Speak to your husband, but be sure to plan how you are going to tell him first. You must not come across as bitchy or hysterical, or he will conclude that you are at least 50% to blame, or maybe 100% to blame. Tell him calmly that she is rude when ... (read in full...)
He's phoned his ex asking for phone sex; this is the third time he's cheated, what should I do?
Q. heya remember i said my bf was complimenting other girls well now i've just found out that he's been texting his ex girlfriend asking her for phone sex !!!!! i really love him but this is the 3rd time he's cheated on me with her what should i do ??? ...
A. 20 July 2007: He will keep doing it because you let him get away with it.
The way to stop this hurting is to leave him and find someone else. If you stay with him it will hurt worse and for longer. ... (read in full...)
Going through puberty experiences and wondering, if I might be gay. Any advice?
Q. Hi im chris, 11 and (jeez this is nerveracking) i am really getting deep into my puberty such as a different voice and really getting tall in short times and other things that id rather not say. Recently i have had very tight stomach feelings and I ...
A. 20 July 2007: We need some men to answer this really - anyone there?
But for what it's worth, it sounds pretty normal me.... (read in full...)
He's more experienced and I am a virgin. Not ready for sex yet, but do I take this further?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about five months now and I guess things are going good. It's tough because there is an age gap and he is ALOT more experienced then I am. Anyways I'm still a virgin and as of right now I'm not ready for sex. I'm still ...
A. 20 July 2007: Hi There,
No one can tell you what to do about this, so this is an impossible question to answer. Anyway, here are a few things that I thought about it.
It’s about whether you really want to do it or whether you feel you “should” do it. ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to the next step--commitment and marriage?
Q. I want to move my boy closer to commitment and marriage and i want to ask what's more important to a guy --to focus on appearance, being sexy etc., or to be more vocationally successful? I thought he wanted me to clean my apartment more, ...
A. 20 July 2007: As I am not a man I can't answer your question about what they prefer.
If you want to move him on to the next level, you have to ask him. You could ask him straight out if he wants commitment and marriage eventually. If that sounds too direct, ... (read in full...)
She has called and today she messaged me talking about a cute guy she met but that I shouldn't be jealous...
Q. My girlfriend is on a trip all summer. She used to call me every day. It's been more than a week since she has called and today she messaged me talking about a cute guy she met but that I shouldn't be jealous. I said I was jelous and she said "you ...
A. 20 July 2007: Hi,
I can’t see why she had to tell you that he was ‘cute’. If he is just a mate then his looks are irrelevant. I agree with others that have replied to you. Either she wants to make you jealous, or she is interested in him and can’t resist t... (read in full...)
His family moved away and he's depressed, he's put on weight and seems distant; I'm losing patience with him
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend proposed to me a month ago and since then, our relationship has gone down-hill. It started end of last yr when he found out his mother wanted to migrate to live with someone she fell in love with overseas and wanted t...
A. 19 July 2007: Hi there,
If you loved him as he was before all this happened, then it’s worth trying to help him, because this isn’t the normal him. You said it in your question – he is depressed. Weight gain, not caring about himself, no initiative – you are ... (read in full...)
He said he wants to meet me, but then he said he might be too busy! Is this a brush off?
Q. I met a guy a week ago and kissed him, we have txt each other and he says he wants to meet me but when i asked him if he was ok for a drink tonight he says he might be busy. He's sent me messages saying i am beautiful and very sexy but should i take ...
A. 19 July 2007: Hi,
If he had said he was busy, and none of the other nice stuff, then I would take it as a brush off. But a man that isn’t interested wouldn’t bother to say all those nice things. I think maybe he was busy. Or maybe he doesn’t want to seem too... (read in full...)
I came off my period last wednesday, had sex without a condom - could I be pregnant?
Q. I came off my period last wednesday, had sex without a condom with my boyfriend on Friday twice during the evening. He didn't come in me, he pulled out but he does have a bit of clear what I call pre-cum. Could I be pregnant?...
A. 19 July 2007: Sperm can last up to 5 days waiting for an egg to appear. I read this in an article about pregnancy tests on Wikipaedia. You shouldn’t be pregnant, but there is no guarantee as your cycle can vary even if you are normally regular. Pull-out is never ... (read in full...)
My Friend who turns out to be a lesbian told my boyfriend I hated him.....
Q. I need major help!!! My Friend who turns out to be a lesbian told my boyfriend I hated him..... days before my friend told him not to listen to her and he did! Now he won't answer my phone calls or emails, I am speechless and I never thought he ...
A. 19 July 2007: I agree with the others. She wants you for herself. She is also no friend to you. Friends don't tell lies to ruin relationships. The letter idea is a good one - there is no reason why your boyfriend and his sister should be left to believe lies ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm scared to have sex with my 17 year old boyfriend; he wants me to get pregnant!
Q. i am a 14 year old girl and i am going out with a seventeen year old boy and i am stuck in a situation because he wants to have sex with me but im scared because i do not no what to do when having sex!!and he said that he wants to get me pregnant ...
A. 19 July 2007: Do not do this. This boy is an idiot to be suggesting that you get pregnant – trying to act like he’s a big man able to impregnate his girlfriend. If you get pregnant, believe me, he will not be around for very long once the reality of smelly ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to take me to his family gathering; is he embarassed by me or not really committed?
Q. I live with this guy and we've been together over three years. His family has a reunion every few years and the last one happened right after we started dating so I wasn't invited, but he said i would go to the next one. There is another one ...
A. 19 July 2007: I agree with Midge. It’s very easy to assume that you are the problem, when you may be very far from the truth. Only way to know is to ask him.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend's younger sister how I feel about her?
Q. Hi, I have had a crush on my best friends younger sister for a very long time. I have been best friends with him since First Grade, and I have been friends with his sister since about Fourth or Fifth Grade. She told me a few years ago that she like...
A. 19 July 2007: Hi there,
This is a tough question, because you already know that your friend is not pleased about how you feel. It is possible that he gets angry because you joked about it – is that possible? Might he think that you are making a joke of his sist... (read in full...)
What is the best way for me to handle this "friend"?
Q. During my adolescent years I had a good friend whom I lost contact with when I temporarily moved overseas. He had difficulty mixing in the same circles of friends and so our time together was often just the two of us. His mother was always very ...
A. 18 July 2007: You said it - you aren't interested in trying again, so don't. Life is too short to be friends with someone who brings you down. You have no reason to feel bad about cutting the friendship, you tried before and he blanked you. Now you have moved on. ... (read in full...)
I want to end it, but he wont accept it!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am currently in a long term relationship, which feels as though it is going nowhere. My boyfriend and I are together because I feel too guilty to leave him. We both live miles away from home, but I have made some great friends, a...
A. 18 July 2007: If you leave, he has to accept it. The reason that he hasn’t accepted it is that you are still there. Start looking for a place today. If you don’t own your home, you can be out within a week if you want to. You both have a life to lead, so put an ... (read in full...)
Since I moved in with him, he is jealous and controlling
Q. Hi, i have just recently moved in with my boyfriend of 6 months, we got along great and i needed direction. But now that we are living together everything is different, he is different, he is very jealous, i am not allowed to go anywhere alone, not ...
A. 18 July 2007: Agree totally with the others. He has a very unhealthy idea of what a relationship should be. He has big problems that he needs to sort out if he wants to maintain a relationship in the future. But it is not your job to help him – it is too risky ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me and when I ask him to do something with me he sighs and says, "If I have to."
Q. I am just wanting to know what other people think about this.. I stay with my boyfriend... After he has been at work all day he comes in gives me a kiss and goes straight on the laptop. Doesnt ask how i am or how my day has been. When I ask him h...
A. 18 July 2007: Hi there,
Good reply from DJ8433. This man is taking you for granted in a big way isn’t he? I don’t think there is any particular reason to think he’s cheating, but he may have problems at work like you say. You need to have a heart to heart ab... (read in full...)
My wife is cheating on me and wants a divorce
Q. Hi, I found out 6 days ago that my wife is having an affair. I have known in my heart things have not been right for quite a while and understand that this has been going on behind my back for 2 or 3 months. I am having a very tough time deali...
A. 18 July 2007: Hi there beanpole,
What a sad read this was, you are suffering badly at the moment aren't you? You are obviously reeling from the shock and finding it difficult to function at all. How to help? This is a tough one. To be brutally honest, it sound... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't respect that I'm a teacher! Tonight he said he's leaving!
Q. My husband of two years is great, except that he does not and never has respected my profession as a teacher. He wants me to quit my job and go back to school to "do more" with my education. He says that life is too routine and he is not ...
A. 18 July 2007: Hi there,
Teaching is a very rewarding job. I can’t think of many jobs which are such a good use of your education. Does he mean that he wants you to earn mega bucks? I agree with the others – he is completely out of order trying to tell you what... (read in full...)
My thief of a stepson wants to come stay with us for a month!!
Q. What do I do?? My step-son, he is coming to stay with us for a month as his mother is going away. I have 2 children one from my previous marriage and one with my husband and our son has special needs. My step son is out of control teenager who has ...
A. 18 July 2007: Very good answers from the previous 2 posters. I would tell your husband that you will support him in this, if he will support you in return. This means, as the others said, that you agree in advance what the ground rules will be, and he enforces ... (read in full...)
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