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*auraE

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Should i just go on strike?

Q.   Taken for granted: I do 100% of the maintenance work, 90% of the cooking, my fair share of the cleaning and laundry, and more than half of the finances. Our point of contention is that she doesn't seem to notice what I do and gets her panties ...

A.   1 August 2007: Hi, I have exactly the same problem with my man. Trouble is. If I went on strike for weeks, he would probably still be perfectly happy, it would be me suffering. By all means try it, but don’t be surprised if you just end up shouting at her afte... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my very close cousin.

Q.   Hey Cupid! I'm in love with my very close cousin. The difficult thing is we live together and something has happened between us (no sex involved tho). He always gives me the excuse that we cousins and shouldn' do what we do but we end up doing it...

A.   31 July 2007: First cousins are still legal in some countries, and not in others. But the point is that first cousins would be too close a relationship. It is as genetically close as half brother and sister. If you are this close, you should stop now before it ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesnt just glance at other women, he GAWKS

Q.   Dear cupid, I have a question about men who gawk for long periods of time at other women. I understand that it is human nature for a man to glance. Is it a problem when it gets to the point to where my BF is spending the whole night at the pub gawk...

A.   31 July 2007: Hi, An ex of mine did this. Looking briefly is natural and perfectly acceptable, staring for hours is not. It is disrespectful to you. You need to take a firm stand, and like the other reply says, no wheedling out of it. Tell him what you told us a... (read in full...)

people are saying we're incest and inbreads but we're neither.

Q.   I am 16 and when I was 13 my step brother and I started going out. I had fancied him for ages and when he asked me out I was so pleased. I didn't really think anything would come of it, I thought it would probably last a couple of weeks or ...

A.   31 July 2007: Hi, Another thing that you should know is that stepbrothers and stepsisters are not on the list of people that are not allowed to marry in the UK. Some non-blood related people are not allowed to marry, but you would be allowed. I know you aren... (read in full...)

My boyfriend will be gone for a year and wants to be free to date while he is gone

Q.   Why does he want to see other people while he is away and should i agree to it? Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years, and are really close and hardly ever argue. However he has gone to study for a year in Australia and I live in En...

A.   31 July 2007: Hi there, Where on earth did he get the idea that the best way to stay together is to see other people?! Of course it isn’t. It wouldn’t be best if you were both in the same town, and being on the other side of the world makes it no better, ... (read in full...)

I find it hard to trust him because I have had 2 failed marriages both because they cheated on me.

Q.   I have had two failed marriages both of which they cheated on me. My relationship with my boyfriend is falling because I find it difficult to trust him, it is not because he has done anthing wrong, he wants to go to night clubs with friends which I ...

A.   31 July 2007: Every relationship where one or both of you has emotional baggage from previous relationships is obviously going to be harder to maintain. The way to make it work is for you both to try a bit harder. That means he is aware that you have been hurt, ... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin at 18 because i want to wait for the right person, is this a silly idea?

Q.   Hi, I'm a virgin at 18, because I'm waiting for the right person to have my first time with. Do you think this is a silly thing to do, and that I should have done it differently? I've had the opportunity to, but would rather have it with another ...

A.   31 July 2007: Hi, You are in a minority, but so what? If your friends think you are silly, that says more about them than it does about you. They haven’t grown up yet, I wouldn’t worry about them. If you were to ask women in their 20’s, 30’s and older, they wou... (read in full...)

We want to get married but I also want children; he doesn't

Q.   My name is Chrissy and my boyfriends name is David we want to get married and i want children but he doesn't he said they cost too much money and all they do is scream and cry i want children very bad what do i do??...

A.   31 July 2007: Hi, I think you should wait a couple of years to get married. You need to agree on the really big things, like whether to have kids or not, before you make this commitment. You both need to want the same thing. Neither of you should feel forced t... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my wayward brother, who only speaks to me when he wants something.? Advice appreciated!

Q.   Ooops i posted a question on 'am i being petty about my brother' havent had any replies yet but things have progressed. I have fallen out with my mother now. And my older sister has fallen out with our mum too. My brother is 25 and isnt working at ...

A.   30 July 2007: Hi, Your brother is still your mum’s little boy isn’t he? I assume he is the youngest?. This kind of thing is difficult to deal with because you can’t make your mum see how biased she is, she just can’t see it. He is so used to being mummy’s ... (read in full...)

What do I tell my son about his father?

Q.   im a young mum, very young mum. i had my baby 3yrs ago, but when i first told the father i was pregnant he just left me on my own, saying its my problem - not his! i think that was really rude of him to leave his unborn-child like that! but the p...

A.   30 July 2007: Everyone is right, the truth is the only option – but without rubbishing his dad. I would wait until he asks the questions, and just answer them as they come. Don’t offer more information than he asks for. He will ask when he is ready.... (read in full...)

Her older step brother is molesting her! What can she do?

Q.   i really worried about my mate. the other day she told me that when her and her step-brother are alone in the house, he comes into her room and touches her private parts. and told her that if she tells anyone he will rape her!! i told her to phon...

A.   30 July 2007: Hi there, He is lying. He is saying it to make her afraid as you know. He is a nasty person, but unlikely to be stupid enough to hurt her even more when the authorities already know what is going on – he might as well write his own jail sentence... (read in full...)

I have fallen for my wife's sister and she feels the same way!

Q.   my wife and i are unhappily married. we haven't slept together nor do we desire to in years. i have fallen in love with my wife's sister. i think she feels the same way about me. i have felt this way about her since this past january. i think about ...

A.   30 July 2007: I think your marriage is over, but I also think you should not get involved with her sister. It is way too complicated. Think of the embarrassment and bad feeling that would exist between the sisters and the rest of the family. They would all take ... (read in full...)

I am with someone that is 15 years older than me. How can I keep him interested?

Q.   So I am recently dating a guy that is 15 years older then me and I'm wondering if anyone has advice on how to make sure that he stays interested in me. ...

A.   30 July 2007: Actually, you are far more likely to get bored first – as he will be only too aware. He is probably extremely proud of himself for being able to “pull” a young woman like you. I don’t think you have anything to worry about in that department. One ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is pregnant with my baby, but I'm not in love with her!

Q.   ok i'm 21, my girlfriends 7 months pregnant and i stay with her and her parents. one problem i'm not in love with her, i'm in love with my ex who is also in love with me. my girl is a great person i just don't think she's the one for the rest of my ...

A.   30 July 2007: Hi, What a mess. Are you really in love with your ex or is it just rose-tinted spectacles now that you aren’t together? You need to be really sure about this, because you are about to make a very big mess of two peoples lives, one of whom (th... (read in full...)

How can I tell him that I like him, when he already has a girlfriend?

Q.   i'v known this guy for a few years now but we didnt really talk. i got this job about 6 months ago and he ends up working there too. ever sence iv been working there we've been talking alot about everything. He seems like the perfect guy, we get ...

A.   30 July 2007: Hi, The answer you don’t want to hear is that you shouldn’t tell him. If he has already cheated on her with you, then he knows you like him doesn’t he? Also, if he is a cheater, he will cheat on you as well. Is that what you want? Would it make ... (read in full...)

Should I keep begging my ex to come back?

Q.   hi my name is john and i am 14 years old and me and my girlfriend of 9 months recently broke up because i cheated to be more clear i merely sent a message saying hello how r u to a feamle on the internet i did this once b4 and she was mad but she ...

A.   30 July 2007: Hi, If you only said “hello”, you weren’t cheating. No one has to give up speaking to the opposite sex because they are in a relationship. Even married people have friends of both sexes, so at your age, this attitude is particularly silly. Y... (read in full...)

I'm having a hard time finding a man who will respect my beliefs!

Q.   Hey I'm a 21 year old virgin female, I'm strongly believe in christ, but I'm having a hard time finding a man who can accept and respect that. Any tips?????...

A.   30 July 2007: Myesha is right. Just keep looking - and in the right places.... (read in full...)

My best friend cheats on his girlfriend with me, but he is still with her!

Q.   I really like one of my best friends and we mess around and are together a lot but he has a girlfriend. At the same time she knows he cheats and he would rather spend time with me but continues to stay with her, what can I do?...

A.   30 July 2007: You and your best friend need to start treating his girlfriend with a bit more respect. You should also consider this point – If he cheats on her, he will cheat on you. Leopards don’t change their spots. Don’t kid yourself that you are “special” and ... (read in full...)

How can I tell my fiancee's parents that he hits me?

Q.   How can I approach my fiancee's parents (with discretion) by letting them know that he hits me at times when I disagree and or just have my opinion towards some topic. I'm afraid of talking to them because they would think Im just lying since...

A.   30 July 2007: Hi, He hits you and he has lied about you to his parents. I think you should give serious thought to whether you should be engaged to this man. Many men never stop hitting once they start. Women begin by putting up with “small” acts of violence... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has a fetish of another guy eating out her bush while I watch.

Q.   My girlfriend has a fetish of another guy eating out her bush while I watch. She wants me to go down on her friend while she watches. I don't mind watching another guy going down on my girl but the question I have is should I let one of my friends ...

A.   27 July 2007: This is so risky. It’s easy to think t would be fun, and then one of you gets jealous, and it all goes horribly wrong. One of you will think the other one is enjoying it “too much”, or that they fancy the other partner more, or that the other man or ... (read in full...)

How do I lower my expectations and be more realistic about life?

Q.   My expectations of life have always been quite high, ie I have always assumed things would be perfect and everything would turn out well in the end etc etc. ( like a film) However this has meant that life has let me down a lot. Nothing has ever gone ...

A.   27 July 2007: Life isn’t perfect, but how good it is depends mostly on you. If you really want something that’s worth having, then you usually have to work for it. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you don’t come first, or get the guy, or the job, or the college ... (read in full...)

I keep hearing the same promises from my husband, but they never follow through!

Q.   Ok, so I've been with my husband for 10 years; we've always had our problems like every other couple. But the last two years have been hell. Both for myself and my children. Well i've told my husband that I'm through with this relationship and am ...

A.   27 July 2007: You threaten to leave, he promises to seek help, you stay, he doesn’t keep his promise. Round and round on the merry-go-round. This obviously isn’t going to work as it is because he is just saying those things to get you to stay. If you want to give ... (read in full...)

Do I ditch the guy thats cheating on me with my best friend, even though I've been dying to date him!?

Q.   o.k well see,i found out my boyfriend iz cheating on me with my bestfriend!!!!!how do i kno?becuz not only did my friend tell that she saw them kissing and hugging n the movies,but hiz friend told me the same thang 2!!!! i kno it's tru cuz they were ...

A.   27 July 2007: I would leave him, because if he will cheat on you with your best friend, then he will keep on doing it, maybe with her, maybe with others. You will be hurt again and again. I would also find a new best friend, because this one doesn't care for you ... (read in full...)

We want a secret marriage, hes 21 I'm 18 is this okay ?

Q.   my boyfriend and i want to have a secret marriage..without the knowledge of anyone..im only 18 years old ang my boyfriend is 21 year old.. do you think its ok???...

A.   27 July 2007: Why would you want a secret marriage? It is supposed to be a public declaration of your commitment to each other in front of your family and friends. Some people choose to have a very small ceremony with only a couple of people there, but they don’t ... (read in full...)

He had me drop him off a block from his jobsite --is he embarrassed to be seen with me?

Q.   Is he embarassed by me? I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks now, we aren't exclusive and really just mess around. He calls me while he is at the bar, but never invites me out. That I can understand we don't have to be around each other all ...

A.   27 July 2007: I also think he might be married. ... (read in full...)

Are girls only interested in a man with money?

Q.   are there people out who find it as hard as i do to understand what ladies really want? coz it seems very clear to me that all that girls consider in relationships is money.. unfortunately i dont seem to be that lucky coz am still a university ...

A.   27 July 2007: A few women are outright gold-diggers, but they are in the minority Basschick is absolutely right. In a serious relationship, we want a man who is responsible, and pays his dues. This doesn’t mean rich necessarily, it means solvent and grown-up. To ... (read in full...)

If a member of your own family (male) steals your clothes and shoes and cuts them up so he can wear them, is he gay?

Q.   If a member of your own family (male) steals your clothes and shoes and cuts them up so he can wear them, is he gay? or whats wrong? please help...

A.   27 July 2007: Hi, It is unlikely that he is gay. He might be a transvestite – which means he likes dressing up in women’s clothes. Transvestites do not want to be women, nor are they gay. They fancy women, and often have long and happy marriages. But no one c... (read in full...)

How can you make a hickie disappear?

Q.   Hi i just have some simple questions, how long does it take a hickie to disappear? And can you make it go away faster? How?...

A.   26 July 2007: It will take a few days. My friend’s daughter found this website useful. http://www.wikihow.com/Remove-a-Hickey ... (read in full...)

He ended it and now he's just being plain nasty to me.

Q.   Hi again, If you're not already posted in on what my ex boyfriend is like then read my other questions if you can. Thankfully I have moved on from my ex. Who I could only describe with a word I can't use on here. He's in a relationship now...

A.   26 July 2007: Hi, First thing to say is that hitting his girlfriend was a big mistake. I heard what you said about provocation, and I sympathise with you. But by doing this, you make it look like some of the things he has been saying are true. Whatever it takes... (read in full...)

They told me my boyfriend was dead, and it was a joke.

Q.   Hello there... Okay...I have several problems really. The first one is this: Yesterday, my "friend" and two of her friends played a very sick joke on me, and let me tell you, I am so glad that I only believed them for a split-second. The jok...

A.   26 July 2007: I think the lap top issue is not a problem. Chances are you won’t get found out, and if you do, just say sorry. Everyone knows that teenagers will be curious, they will understand. About the gravestone thing. These girls are not your friends.... (read in full...)

How can I discreetly find out my girlfriends' sizes so I can buy her underwear?

Q.   If I wanted to buy some 'sexy' lingerie for my girlfriend, what would be the best approach to find out her size, when the time comes? ie. if I wanted to do it for a surprise. I have her dress size etc, but not the other size. ...

A.   26 July 2007: Hi, I assume you don’t live together, because the solution would be to sneak into the bedroom, find a few things that she currently wears, and look at the labels. Some lingerie is sold as small, medium and large. So if you tell the assistan... (read in full...)

My best friend tells me she doesn't like my boyfriend but flirts with him when I'm not there, what should I do?

Q.   what do i do if my best friend says she dont like my boyfriend but behind my back she flirts with him ...

A.   25 July 2007: Normally I would say never ditch your best friend for a man. But in this case it’s different because she isn’t acting like a best friend. She obviously finds him attractive, which she can’t help. But flirting with him behind your back is a great big ... (read in full...)

Some guy has just informed me, my girlfriend is his girlfriend.

Q.   Please i have a girlfriend whom i know for long time ..we were friends, then we went to the same college and now we are in relationship for about 8 months now But One day, some guy came to my office to tell me that the girl i love is his girl...

A.   25 July 2007: You mustn't leave her just because some guy has made an accusation. Maybe he isn't involved with her but wants her for himself, so is trying to split you up. Tell her what happened and see what she says.... (read in full...)

When is it time to leave?

Q.   I keep going round in circles and need help in knowing when 'enough is enough' in a relationship. I have been with the same guy for 12 years and I am not happy - the things that make me unhappy are not always dramatic things but they are ...

A.   25 July 2007: Hi, Your question is word for word like reading something I could have written 11 years ago this summer. I had been with my man for 12 years, since we were young. I was your age too. He was a nice guy, but we had grown apart over the years. I... (read in full...)

I want to do things with him but not land him in jail!!

Q.   All right, so my boyfriend is eighteen, (as of April)and I am fourteen, fifteen in November. I haven't been with him very long, but I swear I love him, so please don't even say that "I don't even know what love is", because you're wrong. I believe ...

A.   25 July 2007: I agree with the previous reply. The only way to be sure is to check your facts about the law, because otherwise you are risking sending him to jail. It isn't a matter of what we think, or what you think, it's what the law says that counts. ... (read in full...)

What does witty mean?

Q.   A girl i fancy so badly told me she would love to have a boyfriend with great sense of humour, witty comments who's loving and tender. I get some of it, but what is witty comments? And what does she mean by being tender?...

A.   24 July 2007: Witty means being funny in a clever way. But people who think they are witty are often just unkind - making sneering remarks about other people for example. I wouldn't try to be witty just to please her - acting a part is never convincing. ... (read in full...)

I blocked contact with her for 4 months; now I want to be friends again and she's not interested, what can I do?

Q.   hey, i blocked contact from a close friend about 4 months ago and just recently unblocked her a couple of weeks ago. she doesnt like me anymore and doesnt want to be friends. ive wrote her poems and such .but no luck. i realy like this person alot ...

A.   24 July 2007: I wonder if you still really want her for more than just friends? If so, don't kid yourself, but let her go. If not, then be honest about it. Say you fancied her at the time and couldn't handle it, but now you are over all that and just want to be ... (read in full...)

Want to lose weight by not eating.

Q.   Ok well i'm 14 and i want to loose weight as im 9 stone which is like pretty bad for my age i'm fat really..i wanna loose weight by not eatin..but i wanna know what will happen to my boobs? will they shrink?? please answer thanks xxx...

A.   24 July 2007: Referring to an earlier comment - actually, I know a couple of very large vegetarians. Crisps, chocolate cake, fizzy drinks and biscuits are all vegetarian foods. However - the thing is to take exercise that you enjoy ( because you will stick to ... (read in full...)

I'm the 'other man'; should I pull away and see if she leaves him for me?

Q.   I am in a love triangle where im the other man. I know none of her friends or family and she has been in a relationship for about few years that has run most its course. Been seeing her 6 months on/off. I know she is not happy as she made choices to ...

A.   24 July 2007: Yes, you are absolutely right. While you allow her to have both of you, she will. Usually it's a woman involved with an attached man saying "he told me he doesn't love his wife, he will leave her eventually", and you think to yourself "oh really? - ... (read in full...)

I'm married and have been sleeping with a married man I work with; now he's backing off, I can't bear facing him every day

Q.   I am having an affair with a married man who I work with. I am also married and whilst I love my husband, I'm not attracted to him and our sex life is pretty non-existent and dull. Recently, a very attractive man at work started taking an interest ...

A.   24 July 2007: If you can’t face him at work, then look for a new job. If you work for a big company, move departments. If not, move to a new company. This is almost always possible – what would you do if you had been made redundant? If it is impossible, then you ... (read in full...)

I need to be sure she is marrying me for the right reasons. She doesnt show me affection!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been going out with my partner for bout a year. I really love her and care for her greatly but I find myself fighting for her attention. She seems to care more for her family then she ever would me. I find myself doing sil...

A.   24 July 2007: Hi, I would certainly allow some more time before getting married. She may have issues with showing affection which can be dealt with, but you need to be sure that this is the problem before committing yourself. It’s stating the obvious a li... (read in full...)

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