A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:This isn't a problem, its a question! But why do so many people think that being 20 and a virgin such a big problem?? And why do all the teenagers think they have to have sex at like 14, 15?? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yugoslavianguy1982  +, writes (8 May 2008):
I don't think its a problem at all. I am a college guy. I turned 26 two weeks ago and I am still a virgin. It's not a religion thing, I just haven't found that special person to share my experience with. But on the other hand, I am waiting for marriage. I want to share the feelings and emotions for my future wife and not just a one night stand. So personally its not a problem. If people are being preassured by their friends my personal answer would be to just ignore people that are putting the preassure on virgins.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): No, Its not a problem. I wish more people were still virgins when they were 20. 14 and 15 year olds aren't prepared to deal with the feelings, emotions, and consequences of having sex
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I don't think it's a problem as a matter of fact I turned 20 last week and still remain a virgin! I don't say it's a religious choice I just haven't found someone to share that with yet. So, I don't personally think it's a problem. I think more than anything it is adolescent peer pressure that drives so many people to losing their virginity at a young age. Like when I graduated High School 2 years ago out of all of my friends (we were about 12 girls) I was one of only 2 that remained a Virgin, the rest lost theirs and one even got pregnant, so I think it's a personal choice but one that should be well thought out, because some of my friends would say that it was rushed and they regretted it afterwards, so there you go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Hey, I live in Scotland, and apparently we have the highest record of under-age sex. I find it disgusting and degrading that the country that I live in has become so obsessed with sex. I mean what happened to respecting yourself! Hey, you know what? I'm gonna admit it right here, right now! I'm a 20 year old man, and I am still a virgin!!
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 + ♥, writes (7 August 2007):
 I agree with all the below answers - kids boast to just fit in. Then there are the smart ones who decide to wait for the right person (myself included) rather than sleep with the whole block in a weekend.Well done for waiting, like what was said below - there aren't that many people like that anymore.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (6 August 2007):
 Amen sister....
all these young kids having sex!! Foolishness, if you ask me. If you remember being a teen, like I do - teenagers can be so head-strong... trying to cope with individuality, trying to fit in and be accepted, hormones raging, learning to make their own decisions, believing that their all grown up... then mistakes are made.
There's nothing wrong with being a 20 year old virgin. It means that you're smart and respect yourself enough to wait for someone who truly cares about you and who deserves the special gift you have to offer. Some guy is going to be counting his lucky stars when he finds you!
Stay smart, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, so_in_love +, writes (6 August 2007):
Teenagers all get pressure off friends to do it. Or even worse, off the guy they are with.
There is no problem with being a virgin at 20 at all, if anything it's a very respectable thing. I'm sure a lot of people wish they had waited.
xxx
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (6 August 2007):
Hi,
Agree totally. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready. People who say otherwise are saying much more about their own insecurities than they are about you. Many people regret that their first time was pretty meaningless. How sad that so may of us started because of pressure from friends rather than because we felt strongly for someone and felt that the time was right. Your first time is important because first impressions last – no one forgets their first time. As you get a year or two older, you will notice that people stop being interested in whether you are a virgin or not. This isn’t just because they might assume you are experienced, but also because they have grown up a bit.
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A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (6 August 2007):
 I think it's mainly younger teenagers who really make a deal out of virginity and that's mainly due to peer pressure and wanting to feel like they fit in and are accepted. It's a difficult age range to get through I think.In theory when you get a bit older, there is less pressure and people develop more self-belief and confidence and don't care so much about what other people think. I also don't think all teenagers think they have to have sex so young like you say. I think there is just a certain type of person and they happen to be the loudest so are the most heard. For every person bragging about sex or loosing it young, there are always plenty more who keep it quiet that they are virgin's. I don't think it is a problem at all to be 20 and a virgin. If anything, it's normal and a nice change.
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (6 August 2007):
 I totally agree. Why society makes big deal of this really beats me! Not all teenagers think this way, but sadly they are getting fewer. I bet some are boasting to their mates that they have had sex when they havent just to fit in. Unfortunately, other young people are actually having sex for the same reasons.
It is NOT a big problem to be 20 and still a virgin. Many people choose not to have sex until this age or even older. Do what is best for the individual, that is my opinion. We each feel ready at a different time and there are no rules as to when we should loose our virginity.
I have said this in a previous post, but I personally know people (men aswell as women) who have confided in me that they wished they had waited until they found a partner they cared for and who cared for them. Im sure many other people feel this way.
Wait until you are ready. Only you will know when that is. Dont let peer pressure push you into anything you dont feel comfortable with. You and your partner will have a much nicer experience.
Take care,
Skye
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