A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't a problem, its a question! But why do so many people think that being 20 and a virgin such a big problem?? And why do all the teenagers think they have to have sex at like 14, 15?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, x3  +, writes (6 March 2010):
I agree. what ever happened to the morals of society. I mean in early history before women had rights no one would even think about a female not being a virgin before marriage. And I agree with equal rights completly but they defintaly force it to a certain degree. I mean the same lies with males. I dont understand how a country can go from you cant even show anything litle on tv to that its acceptable to sleep with anyone and everyone and ur abnormal if ur a virgin. Im 23 going on 24 and Im proud of it and like the other one said of course its not because you cant get a guy. In fact guys would rather have you as a virgin, lots of times. In my case I am a Christian and that is partially responsible for my decision. However even if I wasnt a Christian I would still agree with my decision. Its just that the religion enforces I suppose oyu can say :). I really dont think you should be having sex in high school. These kids get too attached to there first sometimes and imagine the picuture perfect world. THey dont want to face reality and when they do they regret it. Also I dont think you should ever have sex unless you are ready to have a kid because there is always a chance that the world will be overpoulated once more with parents that didnt want them. Thats just my theory. I mean you can never be too careful and even when you are theres always a chance. I personally think that you should wait for marriage.If you could care about someone enough to share that part of you with them then why not just sign a paper first. I dont understand the world we live in my coworkers give me heck but you know what Im proud because at least I cant regret my first time like so many do. THey say dont I have feeling and its the olden days? what the heck? Sorry but if someone likes me its not going to be because of that. Sorry im rambling but I just dont understand the way the world works. WIth more freedom people became less inclined and the wonder why the pattern of teenage pregnancy never stops. How can if when not even the older adults believe in the sanctity of sex after marriage. Lead by example. Im not saying that teenagers cant be good parents but they shouldnt have to and they should live their lives first. And im not saying that if you have sex before marriage youre a bad person I dont care what one does as long as its not me. But at least love the one your with plus if it hurts the first time why would you let someone you dont love share that I dont get it?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): imma 15 yr old boy and im a virgin and im proud
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A
female
reader, bbird +, writes (13 August 2009):
Its not a problem, Im 20 and im still a virgin and proud off it, at least i dont have a reputation for being slutty. Most of my friends have had sex already with multiple partners and Ive seen how hurt they get when guys only use them for sex. Some off my friends also have reputations for being easy and it makes me feel sad for them. So I say stay a virgin for as long as possible, just wait for the right person to comes along, dont just give it away to anyone just cause its the think everyone does. Do it when ur ready and with the right person. The one thing I hate is the way people think if your a virgin you cant get a guy, and your a virgin just cause you haven't had the opportunity, well that aint true I have had plenty of experiences with guys and could have had sex plenty of times but I choose not too. Ive had more boyfriends that most off my friends who have had sex, also girls who think that guys will break up with u if you dont, they wont and if they do they are dicks and your better off without them, most off my boyfriends i broke it off.Also guys I know plenty of guys who are still virgins and they are waiting for the rite girl to come along, I know guys dont talk about it as much as girls and its more socially acceptable for a girl to be a virgin. Trust me you may think your the only male virgin, your not by a long shot, most guys who say they do do it havnt they just say it too look cooler, ive seen it done plenty of times.Also girls not every guy likes someone easy and more than likely they will like the harder to get one, cause most serious guys hate being with a girl that half the bar slept with already, and if they are with her its just for sex, girls like that arnt girlfriend material, weve all seen it done plenty of times. I know that one off the main reason ppl think being a virgin is a promblem cause sex on tv is so common, i once read an article that not given a man sex by the third date is being a tease, please this isnt real lifee, fair enough there are ppl like the ppl in skins etc but personally i wouldnt want to be with them ppl. Also Im a uni and friends with alot of guys who have one night stands with girls I know and they would be talking to me saying they slept with the ulgy one in my halls, and i only met her ten mins before and she shaged me, shes easy. they wouldnt talk to the girls again. Personally I wouldnt want someone talking about me like that no way, at least these guys have respect for me.Sorry for rampling on alot, it just annoys me a little, but Im proud of being a virgin and i really dont care who knows. By the way Im not like a born again cristian or anything and most the ppl I was talking about arnt either so dont think its about religion, its just about us as ppl so hope this helps anybody who is looking for guidence so just stick to wat you feel is right and dont let anyone pressure you into it and if you wani have sex go ahead its your choice, at the end of the day I dont judge anybody i really dont care if you slept with the army lol at the end of the day its everyones own choice Hope this helped, bbird
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A
male
reader, Yugoslavianguy1982 +, writes (8 May 2008):
I don't think its a problem at all. I am a college guy. I turned 26 two weeks ago and I am still a virgin. It's not a religion thing, I just haven't found that special person to share my experience with. But on the other hand, I am waiting for marriage. I want to share the feelings and emotions for my future wife and not just a one night stand. So personally its not a problem. If people are being preassured by their friends my personal answer would be to just ignore people that are putting the preassure on virgins.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): No, Its not a problem. I wish more people were still virgins when they were 20. 14 and 15 year olds aren't prepared to deal with the feelings, emotions, and consequences of having sex
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I don't think it's a problem as a matter of fact I turned 20 last week and still remain a virgin! I don't say it's a religious choice I just haven't found someone to share that with yet. So, I don't personally think it's a problem. I think more than anything it is adolescent peer pressure that drives so many people to losing their virginity at a young age. Like when I graduated High School 2 years ago out of all of my friends (we were about 12 girls) I was one of only 2 that remained a Virgin, the rest lost theirs and one even got pregnant, so I think it's a personal choice but one that should be well thought out, because some of my friends would say that it was rushed and they regretted it afterwards, so there you go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Hey, I live in Scotland, and apparently we have the highest record of under-age sex. I find it disgusting and degrading that the country that I live in has become so obsessed with sex. I mean what happened to respecting yourself! Hey, you know what? I'm gonna admit it right here, right now! I'm a 20 year old man, and I am still a virgin!!
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (7 August 2007):
 I agree with all the below answers - kids boast to just fit in. Then there are the smart ones who decide to wait for the right person (myself included) rather than sleep with the whole block in a weekend.Well done for waiting, like what was said below - there aren't that many people like that anymore.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Amen sister....
all these young kids having sex!! Foolishness, if you ask me. If you remember being a teen, like I do - teenagers can be so head-strong... trying to cope with individuality, trying to fit in and be accepted, hormones raging, learning to make their own decisions, believing that their all grown up... then mistakes are made.
There's nothing wrong with being a 20 year old virgin. It means that you're smart and respect yourself enough to wait for someone who truly cares about you and who deserves the special gift you have to offer. Some guy is going to be counting his lucky stars when he finds you!
Stay smart, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, so_in_love +, writes (6 August 2007):
Teenagers all get pressure off friends to do it. Or even worse, off the guy they are with.
There is no problem with being a virgin at 20 at all, if anything it's a very respectable thing. I'm sure a lot of people wish they had waited.
xxx
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (6 August 2007):
Hi,
Agree totally. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready. People who say otherwise are saying much more about their own insecurities than they are about you. Many people regret that their first time was pretty meaningless. How sad that so may of us started because of pressure from friends rather than because we felt strongly for someone and felt that the time was right. Your first time is important because first impressions last – no one forgets their first time. As you get a year or two older, you will notice that people stop being interested in whether you are a virgin or not. This isn’t just because they might assume you are experienced, but also because they have grown up a bit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): I think it's mainly younger teenagers who really make a deal out of virginity and that's mainly due to peer pressure and wanting to feel like they fit in and are accepted. It's a difficult age range to get through I think.In theory when you get a bit older, there is less pressure and people develop more self-belief and confidence and don't care so much about what other people think. I also don't think all teenagers think they have to have sex so young like you say. I think there is just a certain type of person and they happen to be the loudest so are the most heard. For every person bragging about sex or loosing it young, there are always plenty more who keep it quiet that they are virgin's. I don't think it is a problem at all to be 20 and a virgin. If anything, it's normal and a nice change.
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (6 August 2007):
 I totally agree. Why society makes big deal of this really beats me! Not all teenagers think this way, but sadly they are getting fewer. I bet some are boasting to their mates that they have had sex when they havent just to fit in. Unfortunately, other young people are actually having sex for the same reasons.
It is NOT a big problem to be 20 and still a virgin. Many people choose not to have sex until this age or even older. Do what is best for the individual, that is my opinion. We each feel ready at a different time and there are no rules as to when we should loose our virginity.
I have said this in a previous post, but I personally know people (men aswell as women) who have confided in me that they wished they had waited until they found a partner they cared for and who cared for them. Im sure many other people feel this way.
Wait until you are ready. Only you will know when that is. Dont let peer pressure push you into anything you dont feel comfortable with. You and your partner will have a much nicer experience.
Take care,
Skye
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