I think marriage is too much if we want different things! What should I do?
Q. im engaged to be married in 2 yrs just before i go to uni. but recently my fiance and i have been discussing our future and we want different things. i want to complete my degree and then travel for awhile. he doesnt ever want to leave our ...
A. 11 July 2007: Hi,
The other 2 are right, no rush. You don’t have to end it right away just because you want some freedom while you are young. Just be honest with him about what you want. Maybe after you have been to uni and travelled, you will be happy to sett... (read in full...)
How do I tell my partner that I no longer am in love with her?
Q. Recently I have stopped being in love with my partner and we are just getting more and more distant how do I tell her that I'm no longer in love?...
A. 11 July 2007: She will know already that things aren’t right. She may even want to say something herself. There is no easy way unfortunately because nice people find it very hard to hurt someone that they care for. Sit her down and tell her gently. Just say it ... (read in full...)
He tells little lies...how do I trust him and should I?
Q. Hi, In the past nine or ten months, my partner of over four years has been very snappy and distant. He blames me for everything, even when it can't possibly have been my fault. About nine months ago, my partner made a new friend, a pretty woma...
A. 11 July 2007: Hi,
Both of these people have treated you with a total lack of respect. They have both lied to your face, him repeatedly. She “hopes she didn’t lead him on”! Well cuddling him on the sofa for an entire evening might just be construed as leading ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hits me--what can I do?
Q. I'm 16 and my girlfriend is 15. I'm starting to worry about my relationship with her. I really love her but sometimes when I don't do what she asks she hits me. It's more of a punch to the arm or a slap. I'm worried in future years she may get ...
A. 11 July 2007: Some girls and women seem to grow up with the idea that hitting a man is OK because ‘you can’t really hurt him’ and ‘he can defend himself’. It isn’t OK. She knows you won’t hit her back, so it isn’t fair, and of course it is possible to hurt you. ... (read in full...)
His daughter is ruining our lives
Q. My husband has not had contact with his daughter for 16years, she came into our lives 2years ago and has completly distroyed our relationship, it's like he's having an affair he's obsessed!! and whatever she say's goes and he can't see what it's ...
A. 11 July 2007: I bet you are angry; these last couple of years must have been awful for you. It is understandable that he wanted to make friends with his daughter again, and like you say, he has forgotten why he split with his first wife. There must have been a ... (read in full...)
I saw my best friend's husband cheating on her!
Q. Ok, so here's my problem. My bestfriend started dating this guy about three years ago. Pretty much that whole time there were rumors he was cheating on her. I told her many times that this was going on (not that it was necessarly true just that I ...
A. 11 July 2007: I think I would want to know, but no one ever knows how they will react until it happens. You made her aware of the rumours about him and she married him anyway. There is a chance that she might not want to believe you because she loves him. Then ... (read in full...)
Which one does he want? Her or me?
Q. Me and this this guy been together for two years. I love him and he tells me he loves me but we had a big fall out because he drinks and when he drinks he doesn't know how to handle himself. So I put him out. Then two weeks later we got back ...
A. 11 July 2007: You need to ask him to make a choice. If she wants to keep paying the bill, then she hopes to be with him. She wouldn’t pay the phone bill of an ex would she? If he lets her do this, then he is either cynically taking advantage of a woman’s ... (read in full...)
Our relationship died (mind games, emotional abuse, no sex)... but since then she's been obsessively chasing me!
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend of fourteen months about six weeks ago, and since then it's been a mess. I had to leave her because she was emotionally abusive and kept on playing mind games - also our sex life had died and we had no communication. A ...
A. 11 July 2007: I don’t think you should get back together because the relationship would probably go the same way as last time. She is doing the right thing by getting help, but no doubt this will take a while. Getting back into the same mess would stop her making ... (read in full...)
My sister dislikes my girlfriend and hurts me all the time
Q. Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for seven years now, and has been great. Im thinking it soon maybe time to pop the question but i haven't yet because we're trying to finish college. My issue is not with my girlfriend but with my older sister. ...
A. 11 July 2007: This kind of problem more usually happens between a man’s mother and his girlfriend. It’s a jealousy thing, where some mothers feel that the girlfriend is encroaching on ‘her territory’. They might think that the girl is not good enough, or does not ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me because he says I am a failure
Q. How can I regain my self confidence be the confidence exuberant individual I once used to be? My boyfriend dumped me because he met someone else, not only has he cheated on me, but his reasons for wanting find someone else is because he thinks i...
A. 11 July 2007: Hi Aagain,
That's great, gald to have been a bit of help. Keep smiling!
Laura... (read in full...)
Can you give a guy a handjob through his pants?
Q. Is it possible to give a handjob without the guy removing his pants, and if so how would you go about doing it?...
A. 10 July 2007: Well I think the pants need to be quite loose. You might well end up with friction burns from the cloth unless he’s really quick. Apart from that, I guess it would be the same as with pants off. Ask him how he likes it as you are doing it.... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend wont leave his wife for me and so I hate HER!
Q. I need your help once again! Not too long ago, I had doubts concerning a married guy that I was with. I wasn't sure about whether he'd leave his wife or not. Now, I am sure that he won't leave her because everything that wasn't "working" between ...
A. 10 July 2007: His wife has done nothing to deserve hatred from you. Nor do his kids deserve to have their lives turned upside down. He has told you that he loves her, so you know where you stand. You can drag along as the other woman for another few years until ... (read in full...)
My social worked told me to stay away from my 13 year old girlfriend
Q. iam 17 years old and i will be 18 in nov. I met this girl that is 13 years old and we were going out until my social worker found out and told me if i didnt quit seeing her that they would move me to a different home long ways away and register me ...
A. 10 July 2007: I agree with eyeswideopen. Much, much too big a risk. No one will believe you about not being interested sexually. If you are once branded a paedophile, it will affect you very badly for the rest of your life. You will not be allowed to see her ... (read in full...)
A woman has made it known she wants sex with my boyfriend!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating six years. recently he became attracted to a woman in his apartment building. she is attracted to him and all he does is talk about her. He told me in a round about way that she was interested in him sexually. ...
A. 10 July 2007: I agree, it sounds like he is at least thinking of cheating if he suddenly needs to know if he could have an STD after all these years. Not possible to tell if he actually has or not. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a lump in he testical
Q. Does anybody believe in fate? I never until last week. I had a dream that my boyfriend died of testicular cancer, so the next time i saw him i decided to have a feel of his testicles to check that nothing was there and to my horror i found a hard ...
A. 10 July 2007: Agree totally. It's probably nothing to worry about, but it must be looked at asap. ... (read in full...)
My friend got naked at a party to show my husband what a great body she has
Q. I used to think my husband and i were quite strong and that he loved me but now i am not so sure we had a party and my friend came, she has lost a lot of weight and looks real good now i on the other hand am over weight i am trying to lose it ...
A. 10 July 2007: Stina has said it all. Ditch the 'friend'. Your husband should get one chance (max) to make up to you for how he as behaved. Or no chance, it's a close call. ... (read in full...)
He wants me to kick my son out of the house!
Q. I have been going to marriage counseling with my husband for the past few months and things have been going pretty smoothly. now he has told me that he does not want my 14year old son in the house because of behavior issues. he has giving me a ...
A. 10 July 2007: Your child comes first. Your husband is conveniently ignoring the fact that a 14 year old is a child. Where is this child supposed to go exactly? Get a job and buy his own place?! I have no doubt that your son, like many teenagers, can be a right ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me because he says I am a failure
Q. How can I regain my self confidence be the confidence exuberant individual I once used to be? My boyfriend dumped me because he met someone else, not only has he cheated on me, but his reasons for wanting find someone else is because he thinks i...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi,
Poor you, you have had a hard time of late haven’t you?
Well, what can we say about this waste of space that you had the misfortune to get involved with? He really is a very unpleasant, selfish man isn’t he?. Let me tell you that anyone ... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy with less formal education than me?
Q. I was wondering, does it matter whether I date a guy who has had less formal education than me? He recently asked me out. He's not been to college and I have.I wonder if that will have any effect on our relationship...help!...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi,
The way the world works, it is easier for man to date a less well educated woman than the other way around, so I can understand you thinking about this. I think it really depends on the attitudes of you both, not on his education. He may not ... (read in full...)
I always feel really tired and down or upset and have constant headaches whats up with me ?
Q. I always feel really tired and down or upset and have constant headaches whats up with me ?...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi,
Stress at school can make things worse for you, and you could deal with that side of the problem using all the advice that martini has given.
Speaking from my experience at your age, and the experience of my friends, I think your chang... (read in full...)
So why is everyone having such a problem with the age gap?
Q. Right. I'm 17 and my boyfriend's 24. We have a small age difference of 6.5 years, which is nearly always commented on. My beau and I have no problem with it; we are of a similar maturity and we're very close. So why is everyone having such...
A. 10 July 2007: People comment because it can be a big gap at your age. Maybe they know other cases where it has been a problem. But people vary so much, that it's never fair to make sweeping judgements. Unfortunately, people do tend to think that they know better ... (read in full...)
How do i lose inches off of my waist in 2 and a half weeks?
Q. how do i lose inches off of my waist in 2 and a half weeks? Right now I am a size 8, and I want to get down to a size 5. I need to do this fast because a family reunion is almost here for me!...
A. 10 July 2007: I don’t think you can lose inches in 2 and a half weeks. Dixiegirl is right about bloating. That’s the one thing that can make a big difference on the day. Don’t starve yourself, just don’t overeat, or drink fizzy stuff. Sit-ups might start to have ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my boyfriend and my period is now past 4 or 5 days that it not come.
Q. I had sex with my boyfriend and my period is now past 4 or 5 days that it not come. I think im pregnant. He's my dad's trusty friend. I am scared to tell him that I had sex because he will send him to jail. I'm 14 and he's 32. (Moderator Not...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi there Sheyla,
So sorry to hear about your worries. The very first thing to do is to find out if you are pregnant for sure. You may not be, even though your period is late. Extreme worry can delay a period sometimes. Either way, you must kno... (read in full...)
He cheated in past relationships. Will he cheat on me?
Q. He cheated in past relationships. Will he cheat on me? I have a strong belief that people change and I feel such a strong connection with him that I am almost positive that my worries are only doubts stemming from my past hard times in relatio...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi there,
Was he a small-time cheater? What I mean is, were his cheats a slip-up a couple of times when a relationship was in trouble? Or was he big cheater? - Does he give women the run-around a lot? People can change, but unfortunately they oft... (read in full...)
Worried that when we have sex, it will hurt her given our experiences so far!
Q. My girlfriend and I are getting to the stage where we are ready for intercourse but I am worried as when I tried to finger her before, as soon as I entered her even slightly she was lots of pain. If my finger hurts her when its not even going in, ...
A. 10 July 2007: Hi Sammo,
Although it seems unlikely that there your girlfriend has a physical problem, you never know. Can she insert a finger herself without pain? Do tampons go in OK? If not, then she should see a doctor for a check up. If it’s only you caus... (read in full...)
Please take the time to read this, I know it is long but it's important to my relationship.
Q. Please take the time to read this, I know it is long but it's important to my relationship Ok well where do I start... I'm sorry if bits and pieces of this don't make sense, but bear with me, I am writing this as she is leaving the house becaus...
A. 9 July 2007: Testing someone like she claims is stupid. But, I don't belive her. She didn't do those things to test you at all. She is lying and lying to cover her deception. She thought the best defense was to fly into attack as soon as you came home and it ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my long distance boyfriend I'm having second thoughts about going to see him in 2 days?
Q. How can I tell my long distance boyfriend I'm having second thoughts about going to see him in 2 days? I just been having visions of him cheating on me and I don't think I can face him until I get these stupid visions out my head. We haven't seen ...
A. 9 July 2007: The only reason not to see him is if you don’t care for him any more. On the one hand you say he is excited about seeing you, and on the other that you fear he is cheating. This doesn’t make sense, and no doubt you realise this yourself. I think ... (read in full...)
My dad told my mom that I didn't like her very much, because she doesn't treat me that nice. This was suppose to be secret between me and my dad.
Q. My dad told my mom that I didn't like her very much, because she doesn't treat me that nice. This was suppose to be secret between me and my dad. Now I feel embarassed. My mom is on vacation right now. However when she comes back home I don't know ...
A. 9 July 2007: I agree also. This isn’t the same thing as a bitchy girlfriend passing on your secrets to another girl. Your mum needs to know how you feel. Ideally you would have told her of course, but your dad felt that he had to step in and give your mum a ... (read in full...)
Is running the best for weight loss and overall toning for the body?
Q. Is running the best for weight loss and overall toning for the body?...
A. 9 July 2007: Sorry, wrong flag - you aren't in the states - my mistake - join a running club.... (read in full...)
Is running the best for weight loss and overall toning for the body?
Q. Is running the best for weight loss and overall toning for the body?...
A. 9 July 2007: Running works. It’s harder on the joints than swimming and walking. You are more likely to get injuries, which can be a big set-back. I assume you have running clubs in the States? If so, that might be a way to make sure you do the warm-ups and ... (read in full...)
What can I do to save our relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years. Recently, I have been feeling alone. I feel like he isn't interested in me. When I try to tell him how I feel, I end up feeling guilty and cry. He acts as if he doesn't notice that ...
A. 9 July 2007: You have tried very hard, done all the right things, with no improvement. I can’t tell whether he is depressed, or just self-centred and selfish. If you suspect the latter, then it’s over. No need to feel guilty, just get on with your life. If you ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend hardly ever want to spend time with me any more?
Q. Hi, I'm 17 an have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now, but lately he doesn't seem to want to spend time with me, seems he would rather be out with his mates. I really love him and it hurts that I hardly get to spend time with him anymore. ...
A. 9 July 2007: Hi kas26,
Obviously he needs time with his friends, we all do. But you say he hardly ever sees you. Unless you are exaggerating, then I am afraid that means that he probably doesn’t feel the same for you anymore. You don’t want to hear that from... (read in full...)
I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson!
Q. Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the ...
A. 9 July 2007: I have changed my mind about my advice further down. What if you try to set up a fake meeting to get back at him, and he says "No". Don't risk it. Just walk away. Someone will break his heart one day. Not your problem.... (read in full...)
I have fallen for the daughter of one of the people I've been working for...
Q. I'm a self employed contractor of the grand old age of 20 (I'm afraid this may drag on a bit)and I fell for the daughter of one of the people I have been working for for years. it started last summer when I just asked her out, got no for an answer. ...
A. 9 July 2007: You say that a lot of people misunderstand her friendliness. Maybe you are doing too. She tried going out with you and it didn’t work, but she still likes you very much as a friend and that’s all. Difficult for you as you are working for her ... (read in full...)
Should I trust this member of staff at my school with my problem?
Q. I met a member of staff about 7 years ago at the school I go to. We know each other very well and are close but I've fallen in love with him. I know this is wrong and he is married. I know I dont stand a chance due to the compications involved but ...
A. 9 July 2007: I would speak to your parents about your problem if possible. If you can’t, then speak to a school councillor. This man is the last one that you should talk to about it because you are emotionally involved with him. It would just be an excuse to do ... (read in full...)
I am dating a girl and I am crazy on her, only thing is she's dating someone else at the same time until she can decide who she wants to be with.
Q. I've been dealing with a problem for quite some time now and all the advice I've been getting is unacceptable to me (no offence). So basically I've been secretely dating a girl for the last 5 months or so and I love her more than words can express. ...
A. 9 July 2007: OK, her parents don’t want her to see you. They can’t have said she couldn’t break up with the other guy – how were they going to enforce that? It might take a week or 2 to make up your mind between 2 men, not 5 months. She doesn’t want to make up ... (read in full...)
There is a girl that I really fancy and I thought she fancied me too but a couple weeks into the summer holiday she got a boyfriend
Q. I am 16 years old and I am leaving school to go to college, there is a girl that I really fancy and I thought she fancied me too but a couple weeks into the summer holiday she got a boyfriend. When we were both at school we were very close, we w...
A. 9 July 2007: Not any suggestions that you want to hear. Maybe you are right that you should have made your feelings clearer, but that is past now because she has another boyfriend. If she did fancy you, she has changed her mind. I know you don’t want to hear ... (read in full...)
What can I do to let him know that he isn't getting her back and that I'm in charge!!!
Q. My girlfriend went out with this guy and now I think he wants her back. Me and her have been going out about 4 months and she doesn't want him back but what can I do to let him know that he isn't getting her back and that I'm in charge.. thanks ...
A. 9 July 2007: He will know he can't have her back because you are still together and she isn't responding to him. If you approach him, it's like admitting that you are afraid she might go back, so I would do or say nothing at all to him. Your only issue is with ... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard for me ( a girl) to keep female friends?
Q. Why is it so hard for me (a girl) to keep female friends? I seem to be able to have close bonds with men, but not with women. I do have girl friends but they never seem to last for very long. Is this common? I just don't know what I'm doing ...
A. 9 July 2007: So do I. Did you mainly mix with little boys when you were small? Were you a tomboy? You might have missed out on picking up subtle girl-type socialising skills. Did you have a bad experience with female bullying?. You might be having trouble ... (read in full...)
Do women like a tough boyfriend or a sensitive boyfriend?
Q. Hi, I was just wondering... do women prefer a manly man or a sensitive guy for a boyfriend? Not to sound bigheaded but I'm reasonably muscley and quite strong but I'm also really sensitive and I cry at sad films and other sad stuff that a lot of ...
A. 9 July 2007: Acting a part is never a good idea, because you couldn't carry on for ever. And anyway, you would end up with a girl that didn't suit you. Women like all different shapes of men, and all different personalities. I would think that physically strong, ... (read in full...)
How can I make my mum and dad approve of my boyfriend and allow us to marry?
Q. Ok here goes I am 16 years old and my fiance is 20 years old we are now 9 weeks pregnant and we have been together for a while, I was 15 when we got together and I'm about to be 17 in September. I want to marry him but my parents hate him and don't ...
A. 9 July 2007: Hi there,
I absolutely agree with flower girl. Your parents are behaving like this because they love you and want the best for you. You think they are wrong, but you have done a good job of proving them right so far.
You are pregnant, so you... (read in full...)
I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson!
Q. Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the ...
A. 9 July 2007: I wouldn’t do anything myself, but in the spirit of helpfulness –
The one sure way of convincing him that you are hurt and bitter is to do something drastic to pay him back. It is usually bitter people who do that kind of thing. So do somethin... (read in full...)
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