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... Send *yle007 a private message | | | *yle007's profile:I am of Swedish, German and Hungarian descent. My soul is Japanese but my mind is American. My advice comes from many philosophical backgrounds, is 100% common sense and completely psychology-free (so you won't end up addicted to anti-depressants from anything I say). |
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| Latest articles: Married is better
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 August 2011: Years ago before my wife and I were married, I sat at a restaurant with her and gazed into her eyes as she gazed into mine and we knew we loved each other. Not much later we got married. I have had many crushes, some flings and other adventures...
Sexual Freedom
No replies yet... 24 August 2011: Your sexuality is not an expression of freedom. I mean, after all, do you think that several billion people on this planet have sex drives of their own free will, as if all these people thought of these things independently, on their own? No...
Your one, undeniable right
No replies yet... 22 August 2011: You have the right to your own thoughts. You can think of whatever you want, good, bad, smart,stupid or silly. If someone tells you how you should feel about something, or think about something, you can accept or reject that, whether openly o...
Maintaining Sanity in a Dating World Gone Mad
No replies yet... 21 August 2011: I will say this very bluntly, honestly and confidently, that the main thing (and perhaps the only thing) that will keep you sane in the realm of dating, sex, marriage and romance is to maintain your integrity and moral standards. Some people do...
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My boyfriend had sex with a girl when we broke up for only 2 days!
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend went and had sex with a girl once when we broke up for only 2 days. Technically he didn't cheat but it feels like it. He never told me, I had to find out from another person months later. He told me he regretted it ...
A. 12 August 2011: You wrote
"I guess my question is, how do I get over someone that I love so much and loves me too? I feel like I don't know how much longer I can live like this :( "
And you know what? I/we forgot to address that specific issue.
So I w... (read in full...)
Why is he giving me an ultimatum?
Q. I'm 3 months pregnant, in the beginning my boyfriend acted like this was what he wanted we were even trying to get pregnant for a while... now he's making excuses as to why he can't be with me and doesn't want anything to do with the baby. The ...
A. 12 August 2011: Go to the AA program and tell whoever is in charge of it that you are there because the boyfriend is threatening to leave you if you don't. ... (read in full...)
Why is he giving me an ultimatum?
Q. I'm 3 months pregnant, in the beginning my boyfriend acted like this was what he wanted we were even trying to get pregnant for a while... now he's making excuses as to why he can't be with me and doesn't want anything to do with the baby. The ...
A. 12 August 2011: Go to the AA program and tell whoever is in charge of it that you are there because the boyfriend is threatening to leave you if you don't. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had sex with a girl when we broke up for only 2 days!
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend went and had sex with a girl once when we broke up for only 2 days. Technically he didn't cheat but it feels like it. He never told me, I had to find out from another person months later. He told me he regretted it ...
A. 12 August 2011: What's really going on here is the "How could you have ever possibly loved me if you slept with someone so quickly after we broke up" sort of thinking.
You wanted to feel that you were so valuable to him that he would be so devastated about br... (read in full...)
Is it a sign of vanity to take the time to look good or is it a good thing to do this?
Q. This is not strictly a relationship question, although it has caused countless arguments with my friends and family, and I'm sure other people must have heard this before... but would you consider it a good thing for a person to take care of thei...
A. 12 August 2011: I think it means you care about yourself.
Some people go out of the way with really expensive hairdoes, outlandish clothing and women who have 3 layers of makeup can be repulsive.
Yes, shallow people may take care of themselves too, but that is... (read in full...)
I need a time frame. Is he stalling or being honest about marrying me?
Q. Is he stalling or being honest? He says he wants to marry me sometimes, but he hasn't asked. I'm afraid if I never bring it up he won't know its important to me and will forget about it for a few more years (been together a few already). But I am ...
A. 12 August 2011: Guess what? What you are experiencing now, this is what your marriage is going to be like. Marriage is not the issue here. The real issue is that he has said he wants to marry you, but has not asked. You told him that its important to you... (read in full...)
I'm hurting. How can I understand why she broke up with me? And how can I get over it?
Q. It has been a month since my girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me and i am wondering how long will it take to get over her and not want to always contact her just to see how she is. I know if i contact her and she is extremely happy it will...
A. 12 August 2011: People do all sorts of wacky, unexplainable stuff in the realm of love, sex and romance. You may never know the reason. The reasons she gave you might be lies. It doesn't matter any more. All that matters is that you are in pain and you want to ... (read in full...)
I am considering asking this guy out, but not sure if I should.
Q. I am considering asking a guy out on a date. He works in a building I'm doing work on (construction renovations). I run into him often with my coworkers and boss. I see him often because of work. We look at each other a lot. We are friendly...
A. 12 August 2011: When you want to badly enough, you will do it. This work thing is just you being scared. After all, as the other two posters said, you won't be doing this job forever.
You just have to have courage to have relationships. And you have to have ... (read in full...)
How much of this am I responsible for?
Q. I feel really ill and responsible for something terrible. I have been dating someone on and off for about a year and a half. He has a roommate that has been his friend since he was four years old. Just incidentally from being at his house so often I ...
A. 12 August 2011: Its the empathy and those feeling sorry for him that perpetuate his behavior. His friend K helped him out from that feeling and things got worse.... (read in full...)
GO AWAY LOVE, I don't want to be a freak
Q. I know i'm being stupid asking this but its really getting me down i convince my self that with practically every guy i meet that its love and that there he's one i've had a couple of bf and each time my mind goes into this omg its love, i lov...
A. 12 August 2011: Maybe its best you hang out with the girls for awhile.
There is nothing wrong with being in love with someone. Besides, spend a long enough time with someone, and your feelings will cool down and then you will feel more of a warmth and closenes... (read in full...)
I told her I liked her and now she's avoiding me
Q. I asked my same sex friend out whom I flirt with a lot!! And I know dumb of me to ask thru text but its been eating at me for two yrs and I know she says she is straight so I told her i am okay with her not wanting to date me but that I had to tell ...
A. 12 August 2011: She may not be comfortable with the fact that you are a lesbian.
Also, if you have ever had to shower after working out or change clothes in the same room, she may be freaked out about you seeing her, its almost like finding out a guy has been spy... (read in full...)
Any tips or advice for someone who hates going out?
Q. Hi everyone. I’m wondering if anyone’s got any tips/advice for someone who hates going out. This weekend, I’m off out with a bunch of girls for my friend’s birthday. It’ll be a clubbing/heavy drinking sort of night but I hate that sort of thing. I...
A. 11 August 2011: Woman, you need to find new friends! I think one spiked drink is enough for me to never speak to someone again. YOU CANNOT TRUST PEOPLE WHO DO THAT.
I think its really great that you are "grown-up" enough not to be in to that whole clubbing... (read in full...)
How does everyone cope and get over a guy?
Q. how do you get over a guy? i fell in 'love' with a teacher after spending a lot of time with him and he was there for me a lot through different things as i was for him ,he told me a lot about his personal life (im not your average 16 year old and i ...
A. 11 August 2011: I say you have two viable options (assuming you want to do the right thing)
1) Tell him how you feel and this is why it would be best not to stay in touch.
2) Don't tell him how you feel and don't stay in touch.
Your heart is trapped. You t... (read in full...)
I like my girlfriend's ex and she's very upset about it
Q. I'm 24, my girlfriend's 23. On a night out last Thursday we had a few drinks, some chips and generally had fun. She also ran into her ex, Joe(not his real name), who is a friend of hers. I got talking to him and was amazed at how much we ha...
A. 11 August 2011: This is different from her having male friends.
She may want to have this guy out of her life and having you be friends with her just puts him right back in her face. Its great that you are not jealous of their past relationship and all that, bu... (read in full...)
I am seeing my ex-grilfriend's younger sister, ex threatning me, please help me !
Q. My girlfriend dumped me two years back for absolutely no reason. I was struggling to come with terms of that heartbreak. But for the last two months, I have been dating her younger sister who is 4 years younger than me and I found her more courageo...
A. 11 August 2011: I dated a younger sister of an ex because I was attracted to her, not out of revenge. I got the older sister to agree to it, and even arrange it. I thought everything was cool. To make a long story short, it ended up a total disaster. You... (read in full...)
I don't want to hate everyone! I want to be happy again.
Q. I'm finally out from under the thumb of a controlling ex. Extremely happy about this, but... I'm about to start school next week. At the end of last year I alienated myself from my peers per controlling boyfriend's request. This kills me because ...
A. 11 August 2011: Find one of your old friends and re-connect with them, and tell them what you juat posted here.... (read in full...)
Every time I have sex with my new boyfriend, I can't help but cry because I still think of my ex...
Q. I've been going out with a classmate of mine for about 2 months now, and we've been sexually active lately. Now, a couple months ago I had a terrible breakup with my ex for 2 years. I've known my ex longer than that because we were originally best ...
A. 11 August 2011: Hey, I need to post again on this, because one of the answerers made a very dangerous comment:
"What you should do is delay the sex until you are sure you can open yourself totally to this new guy."
Um, yeah. It would be one thing if you nev... (read in full...)
Should I tell her about my feeling for her or should I ask her first if she likes me?
Q. i really like my friends girlfriend and we have been talking to each other very regularly. my friend isn't a good friend and is a worse boyfriend and his girlfriend usually talks to me about that their relationship and that it isn't going to last ...
A. 11 August 2011: You know, its a really crappy role to have to be in, the guy who listens to the woman he is dying for complain about her boyfriend.
The next time she starts up about him, tell her that she is never going to be happy in that relationship, and when... (read in full...)
What's the best way to go about dating?
Q. hi, i was looking for some advice on dating, i was wondering how other people started off, id prefer to be friends first with the guy but how about meeting and dating strangers on a night out. whats best way to go about dating? ...
A. 11 August 2011: I've never ever turned a friendship into romance. I have tried. Some prefer it, some fear it. When that magical spark comes, do something about it, whether the spark hits you at once, or having been friends for years.
That being said, the best... (read in full...)
How much of this am I responsible for?
Q. I feel really ill and responsible for something terrible. I have been dating someone on and off for about a year and a half. He has a roommate that has been his friend since he was four years old. Just incidentally from being at his house so often I ...
A. 11 August 2011: None of this is your fault. J is big trouble. The texts were the straw that broke the camel's back. And K does not have an "anger problem" per se, he is being righteously driven mad by his so-called best friend.
Once J is out of the picture,... (read in full...)
Should I see a future with this guy, or break up with him?
Q. We've been going out for 2 years and 1 month already but he'll be going to college in 3 days while I still need 2 more years of high school. He says he won't cheat on me because he loves me, and he could if he wanted to because he's had many chances ...
A. 11 August 2011: This is by far one of the worst relationship scenarios, because there is no "right" answer to it at all. The relationship has no real issues (I assume) but one person is moving away and the other can't move with them. Well, it all depends on h... (read in full...)
Every time I have sex with my new boyfriend, I can't help but cry because I still think of my ex...
Q. I've been going out with a classmate of mine for about 2 months now, and we've been sexually active lately. Now, a couple months ago I had a terrible breakup with my ex for 2 years. I've known my ex longer than that because we were originally best ...
A. 11 August 2011: The end result of sex is supposed to be a satisfying climax, not tears over your ex.
If you can't get over your ex, and/or you don't think you should be sleeping with your current because it was too fast or your feelings aren't as strong, then you... (read in full...)
My best guy friend (who I've been interested in for ages) broke up with his g/f - what should I do?
Q. B and I have known each other 3yrs and are very close. Before he met her, A, 2yrs ago, we were flirting, spending a lot of time together, and made out. It would have gone further, but he'd only broken up with his previous g/f two weeks earlier (bad ...
A. 11 August 2011: You said:
I told him I'd give him time, and we kept flirting for months, but before I could do anything, I found out he was going out with her.
This says a LOT about the guy you have a crush on. You are obviously not his first choice.
... (read in full...)
We love each other but she doesn't want to leave her b/f, he has a serious illness
Q. Hi everyone, firstly any opinions and advice given would be hugely appreciated, so thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. I'll try to keep it as brief as possible. Me and my best friend are completely in love with each other, (I'm...
A. 11 August 2011: Let's see, she loves you, but she doesn't love you enough to leave her abusive scum of a boyfriend who is going to die? What this girl is doing is NOT OK. The fact that she is getting respect, care, love and attention from you is what is making i... (read in full...)
I've had sex and bled both times. Is that normal?
Q. I just had sex for the first time about a week ago..and after i was done..i was bleeding like crazy... The second time i still bled,is that normal for a 18 year old girl?? We used a condom and everything....
A. 11 August 2011: See a doctor.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend afraid of love?
Q. I think my boyfriend is afraid of love. He will be so into me for a few days, and just during the height of things he will start acting funny. One day he will say he loves me, the next he will say he doesn't know. Whenever I start to get really ...
A. 11 August 2011: You are not going to change this man.
But he will certainly change you, that I can guarantee.
You will be less and less happy the more time you spend with him.
You sound like you have a certainty of how you feel. This is a great characte... (read in full...)
Can I find out somehow if my b/f has joined an online hook up site?
Q. When my bf looks at porn on the computer he is always sure to delete the history. I don't mind that he looks and masterbates as long as it doesn't take away from our sex life. But in the past he has been known to not tell me little things so when i ...
A. 11 August 2011: Don't even bother investigating. If you can't trust him its over.
I mean really, if your OK with his pornography/masturbation (you are like 1 out of a million, by the way) then why does he have to delete his history?
How do you know he dele... (read in full...)
Can I get some sort of camera to watch my ex with our baby?
Q. ok before i ask for help i want to make it very clear i am not a nutter pretty much me and my bf are not together any more and we have a newborn baby now he want's to take the baby but i don't want him to have it in saying that i don't want to be a ...
A. 11 August 2011: Um, yeah, if you can't trust him with the baby don't let him take the baby anywhere, and legally make it so. What are you going to do, if something goes wrong? Just watch it on video?
Even if you could get a camera on him, find out if this is ... (read in full...)
How can I give a blowjob and fit him in?
Q. I am going to give a blowjob for the very first time but I am scared? There is a few things I am worried about; 1. If the average man is 5 or 6 inches how am I supposed to fit that all in my mouth? 2. What If I am not good enough? 3. I want...
A. 11 August 2011: PS: If you ever watch porn, where some guy has like a 12 inch penis, you will see that the woman stick it in to her mouth as far as she can and then uses her hand to massage the rest of it. Just a thought.... (read in full...)
How can I give a blowjob and fit him in?
Q. I am going to give a blowjob for the very first time but I am scared? There is a few things I am worried about; 1. If the average man is 5 or 6 inches how am I supposed to fit that all in my mouth? 2. What If I am not good enough? 3. I want...
A. 11 August 2011: Just let him show you what he wants. Even if you only put it partway in, there is some pleasure for him in that. Don't worry about being his "most amazing blowjob". Be his most amazing girlfriend. (I hope that is where this is leading, otherwise ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has turned mean but I gave up my friends so he is all I've got
Q. Okay, so my boyfriend of a year and a half is just really mean lately, but here's the story. Everything was so good the first year we started seeing each other, He's the only person I've trusted 100%, and now I'm just hearing that he supposedly ...
A. 10 August 2011: Often its not the person we love, but its the illusion of who we think they are, the memory of the way they used to be, or who we want them to be.
If you met this guy for the first time today, the way he is, would you even want to give him the ... (read in full...)
Is my ex having sex with other men?
Q. is my ex having sex with other men? she still shaves her pubic region everyday i found this out cause we ended up having sex one nite out of the blue so why would she still go through the hassle if shes not having sex with others?...
A. 10 August 2011: Just ask her. I disagree that its none of your business, IT IS because if she is using you to cheat on another man you need to know that, even if it was just a one-night stand. I am surprised none of the other posters thought of that scenario, but ... (read in full...)
I slept with my ex boyfriends friend and it's destroyed his head
Q. I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years and i tried to leave 6 times, but as it goes with abusive relationships, that's how it is. I finerly managed to brake free 8 weeks after my daughter was born but had not left the family home until the ...
A. 10 August 2011: You know, being your ex its none of his business who you sleep with.
But your ex's friend really has to make a decision between him and you.
And if I were you, I would not talk to the ex AT ALL unless you have shared custody or some sort... (read in full...)
Does this young woman just like to tease and torment me?
Q. Ok, so theres this girl, she 22 and im 41, huge age gap I know, but then again I dont look 41 more like 28 and I kinda act like im 28 to. And now it gets even stranger, her family and mine are very close, 30 years close, I didnt grow up with her but ...
A. 10 August 2011: I had a crush on a woman whom I was friends with and she had a boyfriend. One day after the pain reached an unbearable level, I came to her and told her that I could not hang out with her as friends anymore because of my crush on her, and I did not ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend I like him?
Q. i have a crush on one of my guy friends, but i've known him since we were kids and i don't want to ruin my friendship, should i tell him that i like him?...
A. 10 August 2011: Well, if you are constantly in touch with this guy your crush will probably not go away, and crushes can get to the point of being painful if not handled. I once waited so long to tell a girl "friend" (as opposed to girlfriend, get the difference) ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me but still wants to be friends. I can't because I'm still in love with him
Q. Why wont my ex boyfriend let us part ways? he wont let me go:(? My ex bf dumped me saying he doesn't want a relationship. He broke my heart. I loved him so much. Is been 4months now and he won't leave me alone. No matter how long we go ...
A. 10 August 2011: I think the worst part of this is that you still love him. All of this whacky stuff he is doing would not be so hurtful if that weren't so.
I always feel that being friends after a breakup is a bad idea. People break up because they essentia... (read in full...)
Should I start talking to my ex again? Just as friends.
Q. So, I'm really crossed between these 2 decisions. I stopped talking to my ex 4 months ago because my friends said that I should... I don't really know why I listened, I can't even remember if that was the reason. I think because our long-dis...
A. 10 August 2011: Do you want this guy back? Do you want to tell him you are so in love with him that you will wait for him and/or move to where he is? Ask yourself if you want a real live boyfriend or a "virtual" one that can only talk and text to you. If you are ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy my boyfriend's company, but he seems to really like me
Q. I've been dating this guy for a few weeks now, he's really sweet and lovely and really likes me but I'm just not happy with him. I just find him incredibly boring, I don't like being alone with him, whenever I am I'm desperately texting my friends ...
A. 10 August 2011: Well, you already cheated on him so you really should not be in any sort of relationship if you cannot be faithful to your partner. If you had intended to stay with him, it would be right to confess what happened so you could work through it, but ... (read in full...)
Should I keep my eyes on my boyfriend's ex? I trust him, but not her!
Q. Ok this might get a little long but bare with me please its important... So I have been in this great relationship with this great guy for 14months now. He is a 25 years old college graduate and I am a 20 years old Senior in college. We fell...
A. 10 August 2011: This guy does not need this woman in his life. Its not like they are co-workers or a divorced couple sharing custody of their kids or any other situation wherein they would have to keep in touch. This "friend relationship" is completely ... (read in full...)
My Fiance has had many sex partenrs before me, how do I deal with it?
Q. Hello there, I am a 21 year old girl and I am currently in love with a wonderful guy who even asked me for my hand in marriage. He is 23 years old sweet, kind and always make me smile when I am around him. But the thing is... One day he aske...
A. 10 August 2011: As long as he was faithful to each one of those women, its not really an issue. Make sure he did not get any sort of disease, though. And you may want to ask him if there are any children he knows of.
You certainly won't have to "train" ... (read in full...)
Do women mind if guys feel their breasts during sex?
Q. Once I was with a prostitute and she seemed to feel uncomfortable because I touched her breasts. I don't know if all women are like this or if I had done something wrong. I understand that you shouldn't do anything to make someone feel uncomfortable ...
A. 10 August 2011: Um, yeah. The prostitute is letting you have sex with her because its her job so anything beyond what your are paying for is going to make her uncomfortable. Who knows what these women feel inside anyway? She may not even like the fact she had to ... (read in full...)
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