| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: B and I have known each other 3yrs and are very close. Before he met her, A, 2yrs ago, we were flirting, spending a lot of time together, and made out. It would have gone further, but he'd only broken up with his previous g/f two weeks earlier (bad breakup). I told him I'd give him time, and we kept flirting for months, but before I could do anything, I found out he was going out with her. She found out she was moving overseas a few months ago; we're also friends, and she's been crying on my shoulder about the breakup, but I've been trying to figure out if I'm sad or happy that she's going. Since she left last month, he and I have gone back to being as close as we were before, but I'm still in contact with her, and I don't want to hurt her. Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Darling, you have made yourself the back up plan.
Some guys transition with the "best girl friend" to fluff their egos after breakups. Then they feel better and move on.
DO nothing. You have been put in the Friend Zone.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Kyle007 is right - you have never been his first choice, just an interim girl he can have for company inbetween girlfriends.
You can do better - leave him alone, dont betray the girl and find a guy who really thinks you are special and someone who wants you as his first choice.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (11 August 2011):
You said:
I told him I'd give him time, and we kept flirting for months, but before I could do anything, I found out he was going out with her.
This says a LOT about the guy you have a crush on. You are obviously not his first choice.
You could go right back to the old "flirt and wait" while he finds someone else.
Don't live your life being at someone's disposal.
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