A
female
age
26-29,
*elvetUnderground
writes:I know i'm being stupid asking this but its really getting me downi convince my self that with practically every guy i meet that its love and that there he's onei've had a couple of bf and each time my mind goes into this omg its love, i love you,i want to spend life with you state. i hate feeling like this.i always break up with the guy cause i don't want to be in love yet, then i feel sad for days and crys and eat chocolate and listen to soppy music. then i meet a new guy and get this felling and i feel it deep inside and i smile at just their name and feel like their the reason i'm alive. but i don't to feel this so i break up with them and it happens againI would like to make friends with a guy and not have feels for him! i don't have male friends, i'm scared i'll fall for them and mess things upI would like to have a relationship that isn't serious where its just fun something we both no wont last forever but just enjoy being together, but i know i just feel the same way againDoes anyone else have this problem? am i just a freak?is there anyway to stop these feeling?I just feel really depressed about itthank you all so very much
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female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 You're not a freak. You are just looking for someone to love, and to love you. Have you missed out on a healthy, happy childhood? Was your father there for you, to love you? Give the boys a miss for a while, get to know yourself better. Find out what your are interested in, besides boys!! Play sport, or join a gym. Hang with the girlfriends, like Kyle007 suggests. Concentrate on what you want from life, relationships aside.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 Under no circumstances are you a freak.
You are in love with love.
But you do not know enough about you yet and your mindset is not yet 'there'to identify and meet a guy who is the 'one'
Have you ever thought about the qualities you do value in a guy? Because it sounds like you allow confusion between infatuation versus more.
Although you are still young it is perfectly acceptable for you to start examining what you value in a guy. And to recognise that you may need, and to give yourself another two or three years before you have fully formed a view on that represents the sort of guy you would value long term.
And it would also help if you took stock of who you are and what makes you 'tick'.
If you know who you are, then you are in a better postion to know what you want and need.
Start listing your good qualities and what you can bring to a relationship.
And truthfully list your challenges - aspects of you that could derail a relationship.
And list the things you value in a guy.
and the things you would not tolerate
There is not such thing as one only 'perfect guy' for you in the whole wide world.
Such things are a fallacy.
What if you lived in Quebec Canada and the perfect match for you lived in Punjab India? The connection might only occur by sheer utter luck.
In reality there are now and will in future exist many people who you could connect with long term. As you develop more knowledge of you and of life you will realise that by being more discerning, but knowing what you want and need that you will identify multiple guys who could match well with you.
But then the distillation becomes even more important as you mutually agree on things and you mutually choose to make it work between the two of you.
None of your previous relationships have met the promise that appeared to be there, from your point of view.
Best of luck with this
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (12 August 2011):
Maybe its best you hang out with the girls for awhile.
There is nothing wrong with being in love with someone. Besides, spend a long enough time with someone, and your feelings will cool down and then you will feel more of a warmth and closeness, like a spiritual bond that still has some romance.
The feeling does change. Ask anyone who has been married more than a few years.
You are not a freak. Everyone's levels of emotional intensity are different. It makes you unique.
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