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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 March 2009: I've realised something which has taken me around 18 years to figure out...I'm writing this article as theremay be some people out there who still haven't figured this out! 'Life is too short' is the best expression ever, it can help you to make des...
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Do women, once they reach 40 become less interested in their partners and is there something more I can do to help her get her mojo back?
Q. Hi, I have been with my wife for 20 years. We have been in and out of the ruts over time and each time climbing out has taught us somEthing new about ourselves and each other. My wife turned 40 a while ago and now she has no intrest in me sexually. ...
A. 6 March 2009: This may be down to hormones. Its not that she feels any less towards you but maybe she is worried that at her age she may not be able to lubricate herslef naturally in order to have sex. Try talking to her and see if there is any thing wrong, there ... (read in full...)
Tired of using hands, what else can I use?
Q. Hey iam 19 and as most guys I enjoy masturbation but iam sick of using my hands I want to use something new but I dnt know wat to use does anyone here kno wat I could use...
A. 6 March 2009: You can go online and buy a masturbation toy. Its called a porta pussy I think and its a model vagina which you can lube up and stick to a surface and have sex with. X... (read in full...)
How can I learn to open up and be more vulnerable?
Q. My mom tells me I'm "too guarded." My ex-boyfriends will say that I'm not bad at love - I'm just bad at being vulnerable. And I know that they're right. For a lot of reasons that probably make sense if you look at my past, I can be very friendly...
A. 6 March 2009: Being guarded isn't a bad thing, as you said it stops you from being hurt. Be guarded at the start of the relationship and then, as the relationship starts to progress you will have to trust your partner. I can't explain how to do this, when you ... (read in full...)
How can I ask a girl out but on a professional NON-date?
Q. I just got a new job and I want to get to know people at work. I asked a couple guys out to lunch and it was cool and we learned alot. Now there's this girl in my department and I want to go to lunch with her BUT I DON'T WANT ROMANCE. I just want a ...
A. 6 March 2009: Ask her is she would like to go out with you, tell her that you don't mean on a date, strictly as collegues! X... (read in full...)
Why do people continue to lie even though they know that their lies are going to be found out?
Q. Why do people continue to lie even though they know that their lies are going to be found out? My partner keeps lying to me how can I believe what he says when I have found out so much about him that I never would have dreamed of, his cheating...
A. 6 March 2009: You deserve better than to be cheated and disrespected! Life is too short to live in sadness and doubt. If you are with someone who is making you unhappy then don't stay around them as there is always someone round the corner waiting for you who is ... (read in full...)
A life altering change is upon me.....or is it?
Q. I've been seeing this girl all summer long (the same one who had previously made my life miserable), and it's been going well enough, save for her sister in law (aka my best friend) interfering with every aspect of our lives now and again, and now ...
A. 6 March 2009: You can't have sex with someone who you don't care that much about. You have personal issues which need resolving before you enter any relationship. X
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I caught my mum and my boyfriend having sex.
Q. A couple of days ago I came home from University a little earlier than expected and I caught my mum and my boyfriend having sex. My Mum even saw me but instead of stopping and being all shocked she carried on more energetically. My boyfriend, who ...
A. 6 March 2009: This is so shocking! Ask her why, how long its been going on for? Who initiated it...mthat way you will have all of your answers and it can be resolved quicker! If I was you I wouldn't even speak to her! X
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Clubs are such a nightmare! Where else can I meet women?
Q. Hi, I'm in my first year at university, and since I started in September I haven't had a lot of luck with the ladies. To be specific, I dated a girl on my course for three months before we ended on mutual terms. Apart from that, no joy. Part of the ...
A. 6 March 2009: Have you joined any clubs? Like exta curricular clubs? These can be good places to meet girls! Or even start going to the same cafe and restuarants at the same time each day and get to know familiar faces. X... (read in full...)
Why does my ex hate me so much?
Q. HELP guys my ex boyfriend and I have stayed friends but since 3 weeks ago we stopped talking because apparently I was spreading stuff about him, anyway I still see him down the pub sometimes with his new girlfriend, but he still stares at me, I ...
A. 6 March 2009: Your ex is your ex...end of. He has moved on! If my boyfriend talked or remained friends with his ex I would feel threatened and I would not allow it. If you are at all mature then you need to stay away! If you contact him then you may cause his ... (read in full...)
Besotted...
Q. Hey, so I'm kinda in a pickle. I was once friends with a girl as a little boy, she moved across the planet. I haven't seen or contacted in almost 10 years? except for a brief encounter about a year or so ago where neither of us said anything so ...
A. 6 March 2009: Sounds like your first major crush! If she's got a boyfriend then don't tell her because it will cause problems for her!! The best thing to do is to divert your attention to someone else! You need to move on, just stay busy!!! Keep yourself focussed ... (read in full...)
Flirted with a boy while on holiday, I have the chance to see him again, this is confusing!
Q. I'm quite confused at the moment. I went on holiday recently with some other families and met this boy while I was there he is abit older than me but i really felt something was there. Nothing actually happened but there was abit of flirting and ...
A. 6 March 2009: Hey, I'm guessing that weekend has been and gone. Have you saw him since?x ... (read in full...)
I really can't tell if he fancies me and and need advice from people who know neither of us.
Q. Right, I'm in high school. I'm a thirteen year old, and almost eight months ago I started going out with this guy who I really liked. We got on well, but after a couple of months he broke up with me, and was very honest, and told me it was because ...
A. 6 March 2009: It sounds like he is just being friendly. And you could do better than a guy who told you that he likes your best friend!! Hang in there, there's always someone round the corner waiting for the right moment to tell you they like you! X... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel my house is invaded, it's a really small place, so all I have is my room!
Q. I have a very strong dislike for my sister's boyfriend, and I don't know what to do! They've been together for almost 4 months, of which he was away for two months working in another city. My parents dislike him also, but they're good at hiding i...
A. 6 March 2009: Have you told your sister how you feel? You could even speak to her boyfriend up front, tell him that he can't spend as much time at your house and he needs to be more respectful! X... (read in full...)
I was so fond of him and I'm losing a friend, albeit a lousy one! What would you do?
Q. I met a guy last year through work. He invited me out to dinner a few weeks after we met and I was going to stay at his house for the night as i live quite far away. We met at a cafe bar before going to the restaurant. When I arrived a girl was talk...
A. 6 March 2009: He's not worth your time! He has no respect for you and you can no longer trust him! Personally I wouldn't even give him the time of day to speak to, I would not contact him again! You can get better friends, losing this one will not have an impact ... (read in full...)
We have been with others, but want our relationship to work
Q. hey woundering if you can help, I have been with my parten Ed for almost 5 years, and have 1 child aged 3 and half. Things were great until I was pregnant where it appeared if he could have a night or a boozed up long weekends he would causing ...
A. 6 March 2009: He sounds like a low life and you need to do better, not just for you but you need to think of your baby! You don't wanna raise a child with all this going on! Its really selfish! You need to focus on yourself and your child, leave your boyfriend, a ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him how I am feeling and how?
Q. I have known this guy for about three years now. When we met there was mutual interest, but nothing ever came of it romantically, basically cause we worked together. And there were several times when I knew he wanted us to be more than friends and ...
A. 6 March 2009: I would tell him, long distance relationships can work if you work hard on them! Think about what would come of it if you told him, what would you want his reaction to be like??? If you are truly in love and can't stop thinking about him then ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my bf and his loser friend... getting wasted and playing video games, all the time!
Q. so this may sound really dumb and petty but I live with my boyfriend and I work days, I get up at 4:00 am and I get off at two then I have school until 10:00 at night. My boyfriend works from 1:00 pm until maybe 7 or 8. He makes good money and pays ...
A. 5 March 2009: Sit down (when he's sober) and talk about this, set out guidelines to the amount of time he has friends over! You have to lay down the law here because you can't live like this!!! Tell him what he does, when he does it and ask him why he does it! ... (read in full...)
She stole my best friend
Q. Hi: I guess I'm here to 'hurt'. There is this guy at work who used to really want me around and such. Well this older lady didn't approve of our closeness. Long story short, she and he are 'tight' now, and I hurt over it. When I was a teen there ...
A. 5 March 2009: People are allowed to have more than one friend, ask them both out to socialise! Become her friend too! Being jealous of this other girl is a very selfish thing, you should all get along, by doing this she has nothing to be nasty to you about! X
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I feel like she could dump me at any moment, and for no reason, what's going on?
Q. Please help me! I just don't understand. I have been with my girlfriend for ages, and we have never once had any problems. When I first saw her today, she was perfectly happy, just like normal. An hour later, she was virtually crying, and very ...
A. 5 March 2009: If you feel insecure in a relationship then should you really be in it? She seems like she has problems and she needs to sort them out before she tells you if she wants to dump you. Your only young and there are more fish in the sea, so even if she ... (read in full...)
My breasts itch around the nipple, should I worry?
Q. im 18 and have small breasts. my problem is they itch around the nipple is this some disease or let alone cancer?...
A. 5 March 2009: I wouldn't get too worried about this...just think of influencing factoers. Do they itch when they come into contact with certain materials? Have to been on any medication which could do this? I would go and see a doctor for reassurance and a check ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's over between me and him or do you think it's just a blip in our relationship?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and those 2 years have been great. But over the last few weeks we've been arguing a lot. We never really used to argue a lot and whenever we did we sorted it out and went back to how we used to be. But th...
A. 5 March 2009: Lots of relationships go through rough patches, it could be just a blip or he could just want to move on. The best thing you can do is ask to meet up, agree that you aren't there to argue and talk like mature adults about how you feel and what you ... (read in full...)
How can I ever trust him when he lies about porn?
Q. How can a spiuse regain trust after sneaking in porn and lieing ab outout it? We had an agreement that he would not look at porn when I'm home as I feel that is very disrespectful, but I have caught him several times taking quickie porn looking ...
A. 5 March 2009: You are right to feel the way that you do, and if you do not like porn then don't feel like you are in the wrong! You don't need to accept this! Tell him straight, give him an ultimatum! Porn or you!!! This may shock him into giving up the porn. ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but forgot to tell me...that she's with someone else!
Q. have been broken up with my ex coming up six months now. all the time had been saying she still loves me ect, on the 14th she had told me she still loves me, did i still love her so i answerd her, but got no answer. The next morning i get a text ...
A. 5 March 2009: Could you clarify this question, I would love to help but I can't understand the way you have wrote it. X... (read in full...)
Should I try to repair our relationship?
Q. Hi everybody! Sorry if my English isn't that good. Here is a problem. I have been dating this girl for about 4,5 years from which we lived together some 2 years (when I was working in the same city where she is living). It was a year from that and...
A. 4 March 2009: Tell her how you feel! X... (read in full...)
Childhood friend like me?
Q. So my childhood friend that i have known since i was 5 has been giving these weird looks. i dont see him that much like once a week and we talk every time we see each other. but since i've been single whenever i've been around him he stares at me ...
A. 4 March 2009: Sounds like he likes you but if he's a really good friend then don't act upon it because it will change evrything! X... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend's 19 year old sister is getting in over her head
Q. So me and my girlfriend have a great relationship and have been together for awhile and are even considering marriage but are waiting till we are more financially secure. This is regarding her sister and some of the foolish decisions she makes. ...
A. 4 March 2009: You're right to protect your girlfriend but don't get involved too much. People make their own desicions! Why don't you go along aswell, or put your foot down with your girlfriend! X ... (read in full...)
Very few opportunities to have sex, and she usually doesn't take advantage of them!
Q. So heres the stuation. Both my girlfriend and I live at home with our parents so we don't get to have sex often. Its not a big deal to me, but I do have a problem with when we have the chance we don't take advantage of it. Not because of me, but ...
A. 4 March 2009: If she's tight then she's probably anxious about having intercouirse so you need to pay her a lot of attention and have a lot of foreplay. Talk to her and ask why she doesn't talk about sex, you will find the reason and be able to find a solution. ... (read in full...)
I have recently got myself into such a mess, and it's making me feel even worse than I did before, I just want your take on this guys.
Q. I have recently got myself into such a mess, and it's making me feel even worse than I did before. Admittedly, I have very low self esteem and do not value myself as highly as I should do - which causes a lot of problems when it involves the opp...
A. 4 March 2009: You just need to use condoms in the future and have respect for your body! Make a change now and don't be used anymore! X... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I'm 17 and wanting a baby?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend a while now, and we've never used protection whilst having sex. We did to start with, then on two occasions neither of us had any, so we decided to do it without. Now this has become a regular thing, and protection ...
A. 4 March 2009: Its normal to want children but you need ro focus on your life before bringing a baby into the world! Its selfish to try for a baby if you will not be able to provide for it, so when u are finacially stable then re-visit the idea! Start using ... (read in full...)
He asks lots of questions and says I’m mysterious.
Q. There’s this guy I like at work but I can’t tell if he likes me. He’s teases me but he acts normal with other girl’s. Sometimes when we’re talking I’ve noticed he holds eye contact. It’s like when he’s talking he looks into my eyes a little longer. ...
A. 3 March 2009: If he's in a relationship then don't get too involved, he may be looking for a pass-time whilst his partner is away so don't be used by him!! Remain friends, perhaps its best not to know if he likes you or not because you don't want to get your ... (read in full...)
Unhappy unskinny teen
Q. Hey, I'm 15 and I live in New York City. I've never been skinny. I'm a size 6. I've never understood: I have a small chest, big hips, not flat stomach, huge thighs, bad skin, frizzy/ curly hair. I just don't understand! I feel like I lucked out on a...
A. 3 March 2009: You need to accept your body firstly, a size 6 is not big, its just because you are comparing yourself with other people that you are unhappy. You can lose weight in a number of ways, healthy eating and excersing are essential. Make sure you don't ... (read in full...)
Fear of commitment..how can I help him overcome this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship BUT I really think he has a great fear of commitment. he was hurt very deeply in his past. What can I do to to help him overcome this and show him that I will not hurt him. When things are going really ...
A. 3 March 2009: If he has been hurt before then he probably needs a lot of reassurance so you need to keep doing this and eventually he will get the message that you won't hurt him. You need to lay your cards on the table and tell him what you need from this ... (read in full...)
I become "damp" and wonder if others can smell me?
Q. Several times duringthe day at school I bring myself to a degre of sexual stimulation that I becime damp and being at school I cannot change underwear each time. I was wom\ndering if anybody could smell and know what I have been doing. I cannot ...
A. 2 March 2009: I'm sure that nobody will smell it. You could take a body spray if you feel insecure about it. If you are worried then you could see a doctor but as long as you shower each day I don't think anyone will notice. X... (read in full...)
Bad pussy!!!!
Q. Hi I noticed something that never happens to me before and I need some help. After I have my period, my pussy really smells terrible. I didn't tell my husband because I'm ashamed of it. I've no idea why and only happens twice now. Once my period is ...
A. 1 March 2009: Could be a change in the vaginas pH that is doing it. I would speak to the doctor about this. X... (read in full...)
I want to expand mys ocial circle, any advice?
Q. Hey.. I have a problem and I need advice. I'm a very pleasant, fun-loving person and I know a lot of people, but my close friends are very few. Lately I seem to go out with the same people all the time. I want to expand my social circle and s...
A. 1 March 2009: Join a club and that way you will find people with a similar interest as yourself. Or simply call someone who you wouldn't normally go out with and ask if they want to catch up. X... (read in full...)
My best friend recently got married, we had phone sex, I don't know what he wants from me?
Q. Confused bigtime- my bestfriend recently got married and moved away. We talk regularly on the phone but haven't seen each other for about a year. Last week we was talking and he suddenly starts telling me how much he misses me and that he wishes I ...
A. 1 March 2009: It sounds like married life has got to a boring stage for him, just ask him what he wants as this conversation could mean so many things! Not just good things, bad things too. So rather than getting confused about it just ask him asap! Keep me ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is serving in Iraq, he wants me to write him a letter, detailing everything I am going to do to him, when he returns, please give me suggestions?
Q. My boyfriend is a soldier and he is in Irak serving .. and he wants me to write him a letter telling him step by step what i will do to him when he gets back.. omg !! I need help ...
A. 1 March 2009: Just think of the sexiest scenario ever! Then write it down and use his name quite a lot so he knows that its about him exclusivly! You don't have to be rude or use foul language if it makes u uncomfortable. X... (read in full...)
He won't go to counseling and I'm in debt because of the wedding! What now?
Q. i have booked my wedding for next yr am in debt with my half of the deposits, we have 2 kids have been with each other for 4years lived together for 18mths he was abused as a child by a man,at the start it was great lots of love attention and ...
A. 28 February 2009: He needs help and he needs to tie up loose ends about the abuse. He has a tranny porn problem and this is not appropriate as there are children in the home! He needs to sort this out so you could start by removing the computer or putting a password ... (read in full...)
I care about him too much to be just a "hang out partner"
Q. So. I have a friend I've known since middle school and we have been hanging out together alot. I've expressed an interest in him, and he kind of backed away for a while. When I started kinda ignoring him he asked me out on a date and since then ...
A. 28 February 2009: If he is shy then you need to sit down and talk to him, you need to reassure him of your feelings! He may need a push! Just tell him how you feel for him and that you want to make it official if he intends to be with you. X... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend is unconsciously trying to sabotage our relationship!
Q. I think my boyfriend's best friend is unconsciously trying to sabotage our relationship! His best friend is a girl and anyone with working eyes can see she has a thing for him. My boyfriend insists they are just friends, though. But when he says ...
A. 28 February 2009: If he is unwilling to drop this friend then your relationship will NEVER be able to work! If he takes her side over yours then he obviously is a fool too! My advice would be to sit him down and tell him that you want to be in a relationship with ... (read in full...)
Everyone knows we're lesbians but our parents, should we tell them?
Q. my best friend erin (yes she is a girl) and i have been dating for a little. we've fooled around and made out. everyone who knows us knows that we are gay. they've seen us make out in public. the only people who dont no are our parents. we dont no ...
A. 28 February 2009: Tell them. You have nothing to be afraid of! It's a little bit childish keeping a secret like this as if you are doing something naughty! Have the respect for them and just get it out in the open, you will feel a lot better about it and about your ... (read in full...)
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