My boyfriend wants to go to a strip club and I'm not sure how to handle it
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year now and he is going away with some friends in august. I know it is awhile away but lastnight we were all sitting around a fire and his buddies brought up going to a strip club while they were gone ...
A. 19 March 2012: In all fairness, strippers objectify themselves. And I'm so tired of the old excuse, "I'm stripping my way through college" (yeah right). If these women were really that uncomfortable with stripping, I find it hard to believe they would continue to ... (read in full...)
Why does he put an xo in some of his messages?
Q. i'm 25 yr old. and i would like to know from guys and girls, what does it mean when a guy (27 yrs) pus an xo at the end his email to me? he started by doing it not me, and not at the end of all them just some. sometimes a x, xo, xx. help i really ...
A. 19 March 2012: HughJ. is exactly right; x=kiss, o=hug. It's a term of endearment of sorts.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to go to a strip club and I'm not sure how to handle it
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year now and he is going away with some friends in august. I know it is awhile away but lastnight we were all sitting around a fire and his buddies brought up going to a strip club while they were gone ...
A. 18 March 2012: I understand how you're feeling. I used to be extremely opposed to strip clubs because of how morally reprehensible I believe them to be. Plus, I had your same insecurity, where I would worry about me not measuring up to these women with their great ... (read in full...)
First date nerves...
Q. Hello, I've been single for ages, i joined a dating website and have a date on Sunday.. we are meeting in the day in a coffee shop so theres no issues in that respect, but firstly i'm panicking what to wear, i cant afford anything new so am going...
A. 16 March 2012: Having a blind date or officially meeting someone for the first time that you have already started to get to know has got to be one of the most nerve-racking experiences a person can go through. I have been in your shoes, as far as meeting someone ... (read in full...)
Hair extensions, whatever next?!
Q. I met this beautiful girl, she is laid back, funny, interesting, smart just a great girl! She has a great figure and is a natural beauty, unlike some the girls I see she doesn't look like she even has to try to look good. Well one thing about her ...
A. 13 March 2012: Everyone has their preferences. If a woman being completely natural is a quality that is important to you, then you should probably find someone who meets that criteria. However, it is pretty superficial to stop liking someone because they have hair ... (read in full...)
I pushed him for comittment and he made his excuses, now I find pictures of nude girls on his phone!
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a few months, at first everything seemed great until he started acting strange disappearing not calling as much, texting ppl late etc... When I started pushing commitment he started saying I have too many make friends ...
A. 12 March 2012: Definitely get rid of this guy. And do it before he gets rid of you because, trust me, he will. This guy is playing the field and is clearly using you and will drop you in a heartbeat when he finds someone else. Stand up for yourself and dump him ... (read in full...)
Girls Texting My BF Is Pissing Me Off....... HELP!!!!
Q. How do I tell my bf that I do not want a specific girl (maybe 2 now) to text him the way that they do. No I do not know what is said during the conversations because I do not look at his phone. I do know that the main one in particular has deeper ...
A. 12 March 2012: Do you trust your boyfriend? If you do, then these texts should not bother you. My boyfriend has a similar friend, but I don't let it bother me because I trust him completely. They used to be friends with benefits, but only when he was single, ... (read in full...)
B/f treats me like I'm his property, not his girlfriend
Q. Dear cupid, I have been seeing my bf for about a year and a half now and things have been changing. In school he always downgrades me infront of hits mates like grabs my butt.. I find it very uncomfy. In school he always acts like I am his property...
A. 4 March 2012: No one should put up with such treatment, especially not someone as young as you are. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do not waste your precious teenage years tied to a guy like this. And trust me- things will only get worse if you continue ... (read in full...)
Single and dateless!
Q. Hi All, just a question. Have you ever found yourself to be dateless or relationshipless for more than 2 and a half years? I have and now i am questioning myself about my personality, looks and life style. Do you think this is odd to be on my own ...
A. 4 March 2012: I was single for a very long time (about 5 years) with only a few dates here and there that went nowhere. I was getting very frustrated and due to my busy schedule, began to venture into online dating. Have you tried it? I have had some success (my ... (read in full...)
I was wondering if you guys/girls think I could become pregnant.
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in a pickle. We had sex and he finished inside of me. BUT some factors will affect this. This was on 3/1/12. Today is 3/3/12. 1. I am on birth control, the pill Ortho-Tricyclen. But on 2/29/12 I couldnt take my pill. ...
A. 4 March 2012: I'd say it'd be almost a miracle to get pregnant under those circumstances. Your pill was only late by a few hours, and you're on your period. Therefore, I'd say you're fine! Save the $$- don't think you need Plan B!... (read in full...)
Has anyone here risked everything to follow their heart? What was the outcome?
Q. Here is my question: aunts, have any of you (male or female) ever taken a major risk in order to follow your heart? If so, what was the outcome? Do you regret the decision? And here is why I ask. My boyfriend's job has given him notice that he m...
A. 3 March 2012: I say go for it. Jobs are replacable, true love is not!... (read in full...)
Blow up over a birthday gift, and cold turkey on sex??
Q. About 3 months ago I reconnected with an old flame from about 9 years ago! He seemed really excited to run into me, stated that he's now a business owner, a promoter, a father of 2 and is currently going through a separation. I, on the other hand, ...
A. 2 March 2012: This guy sounds a little crazy to me. Grown men, the normal ones, don't act like that. I wouldn't bother with this guy. You're not tied down...find someone more on your level. Besides, he's still married!... (read in full...)
Feelings of insecurity that b/f will leave me is causing trouble in our relationship
Q. i have been in a happy stable relationship for over half a year now and things are still okay despite the odd hiccup however im starting to become very insecure about losing him.. i constantly have thoughts that he will get bored of me and just lea...
A. 2 March 2012: I have dealt with similar feelings of insecurity, but you have to remind yourself that the more you think these negative thoughts, the more likely they are to come true. He is with you because he wants to be. Don't let your jealousy and insecurity ... (read in full...)
Do you shave your "part" before you have sex?
Q. I asked my friend if you should shave your "part" before you have sex and she didn't know. So Im asking this site,do men like it unsaved, or shaved? I got a boyfriend and I need some advice here before we get more intense....
A. 1 March 2012: Use a hair removing cream for the bikini area. It's painless, and doesn't cause the after effects like shaving. Get some from any store like Walgreens or Wal-Mart. To keep the area hair and stubble free, you'll need to do it every few days before ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend impregnated another woman... what do I do?
Q. good day, please advise on my problem. I have a boyfriend of 3 years that i love so much and we have a baby 18 months baby boy, we had our ups and downs in our relationship but we always talk about them and solve them. I just recently found ou...
A. 29 February 2012: DUMP HIM! And then file for child support.
You say "I know and feel that he loves me and wants to be with me". Sorry to be blunt, but if that were true, he wouldn't have had sex with someone else. If you keep him around after this, you are basi... (read in full...)
Am I suffering from male jealousy, or friendship jealousy, or am I right in not wanting this relationship to continue?
Q. My wife has this gay male friend. He and her were friends before we even started dating. I kind of have no problem with this, but he is a little over the top. Like dancing around in our house wearing nothing but short-shorts and being a typical ...
A. 29 February 2012: I find it very odd that your wife wanted to have a "sleepover" with all three of you in the bed. That's strange. However, I don't think she has any attraction towards him. If she did, she certainly would not have made such a suggestion. I have a ... (read in full...)
Have I given her the message that I'm only looking for something casual?
Q. Hey guys, could do with some advice here. Main question - do you think if you sleep with a girl on 2nd date that means you give the impression you're not that interested in a relationship/serious thing, but moreso a casual thing? I met this gir...
A. 29 February 2012: Talk to her. Tell her you like her and that you are interested in dating. As a woman speaking from personal experience, I would assume that you weren't looking for anything more than sex or casual dating. That's usually the case when two people ... (read in full...)
Any tips for getting a date on an online dating site?
Q. I am on a dating website, not going to name it here. I have been for about 3 years. I have not had a single date, whether I am not attractive enough or whatever! Anyway, two parts to this question: a) What does one write in a dating profile t...
A. 29 February 2012: I agree. Your current profile seems very impersonal, and it would definitely not capture my attention. You don't have to be a stand-up comedian, but be a little more playful and humorous, and don't take yourself too seriously. However, it is also ... (read in full...)
He doesn't answer if I use my phone, but did when I used a phone unknown to him. Is it over?
Q. I need advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over two years. He is currently studying for the bar exam. He's had an attitude with me for the last week which I let go because he's under a lot of stress lately. Yesterday, I had my gran...
A. 27 February 2012: At first, I assumed that he was just busy and stressed out. BUT... the fact that he answered for a different number but not yours, speaks volumes. Clearly, he was blatantly avoiding and ignoring you. Give him space. Don't call, text, or e-mail him ... (read in full...)
Haven't heard from him in 2 weeks - confused
Q. I have been dating this guy (we are both in our late 20's) about 3 months and prior to our first date we talked nearly every day one the phone for a month. It's been 3 weeks since we've seen each other and 2 weeks since I've heard from him. We had ...
A. 27 February 2012: You've definitely done all that you should. You've contacted him multiple times, all with no response. The ball is in his court, and it sounds as if he's purposely choosing not to contact you. In that case, you definitely need to move forward with ... (read in full...)
Gift for partner's mom?
Q. hello aunts and uncles, my partners mother invited us for a birthday dinner at hers and i really don't know what gift would be appropriate for her.(we can't get something together as he has already given her a gift) please note she's in her lat...
A. 26 February 2012: Bake some cookies or buy something from the bakery. A thoughtful, yet casual gift.... (read in full...)
After 20 years, I am tired and leaning towards just getting the hell out of this relationship! Need advice badly!
Q. Hello People! I am having a small dilemma that I cannot talk to friends or family about due to the nature of this situation...so I am relying on unbiased strangers opinions. Here we go... I have been with my significant other for 20 years. ...
A. 22 February 2012: Wow! You have certainly been dealing with a lot. I think you owe it to yourself to take a deep breath, and pat yourself on the back for dealing with everything so well. So, you have talked to your boyfriend about not wanting to raise more children... (read in full...)
Do you know any links to good artices in DearCupid please re fellatio?
Q. I just started dating after getting out of a 15 year marriage. My ex never liked blow jobs and really zapped my confidence with his criticism so I need a step by step guide of giving a good bj. Thanks!...
A. 11 February 2012: I was in your same boat recently, and what helped me the most was watching a few free videos on the internet (not like the official movies, but homemade videos). I'm not a fan of porn, but watching what they were doing made me realize that what I ... (read in full...)
Instead of being concerned when I was stuck on the road with a flat tire, my B/f messaged "lmao" and asked if I could hang out on Friday night! I'm so mad at him!!
Q. Dear cupid, me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we just got back together after a breakup. He promised me he would change anyway, yesterday i was on the freeway and got a flat tire and was stranded. When it happened my boyfriend ...
A. 11 February 2012: He was insensitive. The least he could have done is offer assistance, or at least sound concerned about you. I would let it go, but if this kind of thing happens again, tell him how you feel, and if he does it yet again, knowing that it bothers you, ... (read in full...)
Can a boy in college around pretty girls stay a virgin?
Q. Hey Everyone, okay, so this guy that I'm not actually officially dating, but we have been a thing for almost two years is away at college. which is kind of why we're not together. He tells me he is still a virgin, but I don't believe him because ...
A. 10 February 2012: Can he? Yes. Is he? Highly doubtful.... (read in full...)
Make-up ideas...
Q. ok so i really like wearing makeup but my mom dosnt really like me wearing lots so i just put on eyeshadow and sometimes some eyeliner with it can u guys tell me whats the most important things when wearing makeup like to make your eyes pop but not ...
A. 10 February 2012: Skip the liner. It can make you look way overdone. I'd just stick with some good mascara (I like Cover Girl Lash Blast Fusion and L'Oreal Voluminious Million Lashes). (I do one coat of the Cover Girl, then one coat of the L'Oreal). Put an eyelash ... (read in full...)
Should my mother allow me to spend the night with my boyfriend?
Q. Okay so I wanted to know that if your 16 years old and your boyfriend is 17, and you guys have been together for a year and seven months but have known each other for three years. Should you be able to stay the night with him. My boyfriend lives an ...
A. 10 February 2012: That's how a lot of teens become "teen moms". There is absolutely no need for you two to be spending the night together. You have your whole adult life to do whatever you want. Enjoy your childhood before it's gone! Trust me!!!!... (read in full...)
Should I contact my ex? I still miss him and can't get closure
Q. Should I call or send a text to my ex bf. I miss Him so much. He ended it almost 3 months ago and I still don't know y. He said I was being to needy bt I was js showing concern for him and his family. I cry all the time cz I really love him. I want ...
A. 10 February 2012: Don't contact him. This sounds harsh, but he broke up with you, and if he wanted to talk to you or get back together, he would have let you know. Very rarely do men change their minds after they end a relationship. And if he thinks you are the ... (read in full...)
A guy online sends me raunchy messages. Should I stop talking to him?
Q. Ok so i met this guy in a Chatroom and he seems really nice but he's 21 and I'm 16 he texts me kind of raunchy stuff like where he wants to have sex with me but I told him I'm a virgin and he lives in NY and Im in Ohio he says he wants to hook up ...
A. 8 February 2012: You sound extremely naive. Of course he calls you hun and stuff like that. He's trying to get into your pants. He's probably trying to get into the pants of several other young, naive girls as well. Besides, any decent, respectable 21 year old man ... (read in full...)
Why are his responses getting shorter? Is he into me or not?
Q. I had what appears to be a nice guy message me on a dating site. He initiated the contact, so that's a plus in my book. We've each replied once a day for a few days. I'm keeping it light and trying to ask him questions to get more info out of him. ...
A. 8 February 2012: Maybe he's getting bored with writing back and forth. Men usually like to cut to the chase...talk on the phone a couple of times, then go out to find out if they like you or not. This has been my experience with men from dating sites... How about ... (read in full...)
Dealing with a break up..
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I'm not looking for advice just maybe a forum to chat and cope. I will explain briefly what has happened: A few weeks ago I asked to take a break, my gf got really mad at me on her birthday. I was sick...
A. 7 February 2012: I feel for you. Break-ups can be so unbearably painful, even short relationships. If you need advice, or just want to feel better, I highly recommend you read the book, It's Called a Break-up Because It's Broken by Greg Behrendt (the same guy who ... (read in full...)
Should I wait to see how long it takes for him to text me, or just go ahead and try to get something planned?
Q. A few weeks ago a guy I've been chatting with asked for my number. He texted me shortly after that but since then I always start the texting off and there's about 1-in-2 chance he'll reply (more likely to respond if I ask a question) He's not ...
A. 7 February 2012: DEFINITELY let him contact you. He has your phone number. If he wants to talk to you, he will use it. Just a little trick I've used: when I first start dating or talking to a guy, I would NEVER initiate contact until at least one month in. I would ... (read in full...)
I have no trouble dating men off dating sites, but why can't I get them to stick around?
Q. I seem to be able to get men, date men off the dating sites, but never seem to be able to keep them.What am I doing wrong?I am not sleeping with them early on, but I am upset when I see them on the dating sites after we agree to meet up again as ...
A. 2 February 2012: Not every woman on a dating site is desperate (I wasn't), and not every man is a sex-crazed jerk. I met my boyfriend on one. We are both professionally employed (I'm a teacher, he's a chiropractor), we started out dating, had a ton of fun toge... (read in full...)
I have no trouble dating men off dating sites, but why can't I get them to stick around?
Q. I seem to be able to get men, date men off the dating sites, but never seem to be able to keep them.What am I doing wrong?I am not sleeping with them early on, but I am upset when I see them on the dating sites after we agree to meet up again as ...
A. 2 February 2012: I met my boyfriend on a free online dating site. We dated for about 4 months before we decided to be officially in a relationship. He told me, about 3 months into dating, that he "hid" his profile. When I felt comfortable, (about 2 weeks after ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable in thinking a marriage should be more?
Q. I need some advice on my current marital situation... My wife and I have been married for six years. She's very religious and, as such, there was a very strict "no sex before marriage" policy - which I agreed to. The problems began after the ...
A. 31 January 2012: I think you have been extremely patient and accomodating to your wife. But I also think that you are making an enormous sacrifice by remaining in a sexless marriage for such a long time. I think something else is going on with your wife that she's ... (read in full...)
G/f dumped me after she lost weight saying we aren't equals!
Q. I really need help. my girlfriend of 4 years dumped me about a week back. this girl meant everything to me, I thought she was my soulmate. I've travelled around the country for this girl because of her job, disregarding my ambitions for hers. when ...
A. 28 January 2012: Wow. Sounds like you need to move on, and the sooner the better! For her to break up with you and say such a cruel thing shows this girl's true colors. I know it's hard, but you should cut ties completely. The sooner you do, the sooner you can move ... (read in full...)
Should I be straightforward and tell him its up to him if we should keep dating?
Q. After our second date, I heard from him on day four saying that he's been busy as he went out of town on business and will be there for three weeks. He texted me and emailed me few times afterwards, and I replied and didn't show that I'm upset about ...
A. 28 January 2012: I don't think that response is the way to go. It sounds kind of harsh and strange... Are you into this guy? Do you want to see him again? If you do, I would just respond something very simple, like "Great! Looking forward to it", or something casual ... (read in full...)
If a guy wants you for sex but not a girlfriend does it mean you're ugly?
Q. He said it was because we live too far apart and I accepted that. Now he's dating a girl who lives near him but still wants to sleep with me. He calls me "hot" etc I've told him to leave me alone. I feel ugly :(...
A. 28 January 2012: Sounds like he's "into" you enough to have sex with you, but not enough to be in a relationship with you. Unless a guy is truly interested in you for more than just sex, you should move on and find someone who is! This guy probably just wants a ... (read in full...)
I moved to be with her but I have no friends or have a social life here. But my heart breaks at the thought of leaving her...what should I do?
Q. I am in a relationship with a woman whom i love dearly i moved to another city 2 hours away from all i know, to be with her. She has 2 teenage children and states she cant move i have tried not to be homesick but i miss my children and grandchildren ...
A. 25 January 2012: My only advice is that life is short and it should be a happy one! You sound miserable. :( Just decide which is more important: being happy or being with this woman? She doesn't sound very concerned with what you need and want. Does she know how ... (read in full...)
Can I wear black to a wedding?
Q. HELP NEEDED!!! I know this has nothing to do with relationships but all input wanted!! My cousin gets married in April...and from my direct family (mum, dad, brother) im the one who has to attend the whole day (as in ceremony at church and party...
A. 22 January 2012: Absolutely! Just pair the black dress with a colorful clutch, jewelry, scarf, shoes, or something else to spice it up and look a little more festive.... (read in full...)
A new guy is pursuing me. A Player? Why am I so reluctant? Is it because I still feel vulnerable from the break up with my ex?
Q. So i have been out of this dating game for a while my bf and i were together for 3 years and we broke up about 3 months ago. He completely shattered my heart when he cheated and left me for her. its been tough to overcome this but im getting thro...
A. 22 January 2012: Personally, I could never be with someone who I knew was a player. It's basically just setting yourself up for failure in my opinion. Certain men are labeled as players for a specific reason- they are smooth talkers and like to conquer many ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to my boyfriend touching another woman?
Q. Last night, my boyfriend and I went to a function at a bar where I didn't know anyone, but he knew a lot of the people. At one point, I came back from the bathroom and some girl he knows was sitting in my stool at the bar and they were talking. ...
A. 22 January 2012: Thank you all very much for your help. You've really helped me put things into perspective. I appreciate everything you all said. My bf truly is a southern gentleman, and I doubt he meant any harm. Deep down, I know that primarily, the problem is me ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to my boyfriend touching another woman?
Q. Last night, my boyfriend and I went to a function at a bar where I didn't know anyone, but he knew a lot of the people. At one point, I came back from the bathroom and some girl he knows was sitting in my stool at the bar and they were talking. ...
A. 21 January 2012: Thank you for your response. I don't have any doubt that my bf was being friendly, because he admits that is slightly flirtatious by nature. And I have a feeling this woman sat down because the bar was packed and the only open spot was that one. And ... (read in full...)
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