A
female
age
36-40,
*rAzYbLuEeYeS
writes:How do I tell my bf that I do not want a specific girl (maybe 2 now) to text him the way that they do. No I do not know what is said during the conversations because I do not look at his phone. I do know that the main one in particular has deeper feelings for him than just a friend. He even admitted to me once time that she used to text him every once in a while back in the day to see if he was single. Looking at our phone bill there will be days that she texts him back to back, and honestly it just pisses me off. I do not want to upset him because I know that he was at one time friends with both of them. I would not want him to tell me I can not talk to any of my guy friends, although none of them I talk to nearly half as much as he talks to them when they text.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 March 2012):
 You have valid reason to be concerned, especially if one of the girls has feelings for him (and I suspect both of them do). He may not reciprocate those feelings now, but affairs usually start as 'friendships'. At the very least he enjoys the attention enough to encourage more of it.Instead of making rules and cornering him with ultimatums, calmly tell him what you think of of these friendships. Then tell him he's a grown man and can make his own decisions, but how he conducts himself will influence choices you make in the future. Then leave it at that. Don't offer details or deadlines. Let him fill in the blanks himself. It would do you both good to keep him on his toes.This way you get your concerns out in the open and you establish boundaries without coming across as a jealous, controlling, ballbreaker. Few words, quietly spoken often have greater impact than a long drawn out conversation. And the less said the less chance he has to twist your words or find loopholes.Not that it will necessarily come to this, but you have to be prepared to walk away if you don't come to some workable agreement. If he thinks you love him too much to even consider leaving he'll have you over a barrel. The party who cares the least has the most power in any negotiation. YOU be that party.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 March 2012):
 Just sit down with him and tell him that some times it gets to you that she texts him so much because you know that she wants to be more than his friend. At least you know that its not really your place to tell him he cannot be friends with her, but let him know how it is making you feel. I guess if you trust him that he would never do anything to hurt you, then just look at the situation and laugh about it, you have what she cant have and that's all that matters at the end of the day. Talk to him about it though before it builds up in to anger.'
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (12 March 2012):
 Do you trust your boyfriend? If you do, then these texts should not bother you. My boyfriend has a similar friend, but I don't let it bother me because I trust him completely. They used to be friends with benefits, but only when he was single, before he and I started dating. And when I came along, he ended all of that with her. I can't lie, but I do feel a little more secure due to the fact that I've seen her Facebook page, and she really isn't very attractive. But I just reasoned with myself that if he wanted to be with her, he would be. But he's not, he's with me, so why feel insecure? If he gives you no other reason to worry, then don't. I would try to deal with your insecurity, and if you can't get past it, then bring it up to him. But you really don't want to be "that" girl, do you? No one wants to be with a jealous, insecure person. Be confident, and take comfort in the fact that he is your boyfriend, not hers.
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