A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:I'm 23 and quite mature for my age. I want a serious relationship, but all I find is people my age wanting flings. Or they just play you like my ex did and then dump you by text. Why is this? The problem with guys my age is that they only want sex and will say alomst anything to you to get it. Thats from my experience. They say they want a relationship, but as soon as you have sex, they leave. Should I start dating older guys? Someone who actually wants more than sex
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female
reader, meccamega +, writes (17 January 2011):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried meeting guys through friends, thats how I met my ex. Ironically that hurt the most. He brokeup with me out of the blue, by text. I asked for closure and he told me to f**k off. So much for meeting guys through friends!
A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 Remember that guys your age are probably just starting to get interest for relationships. The first or second person they get into a serious relationship with may not be the one they want to spend the next few years with.
Also it really depends on the type of guy you are looking for. Most guys who know they are attractive and can get girls in bed easily will be less likely to look for relationships, or stay in them. Men of that age like to experiment with variety, because they are at an age where they can. They don't know what they want exactely in a relationship and even what kind of girl they want to spend their time with.
I'm 21 and my OH is 34. I experimented with dating guys my age or a few years above, but I found it very hard to find a guy who had the characteristics I admired, wanted the same things in life and who I was sexually attracted to. Luckily I did and 2.5 years later we are very happy.
Experiment with the type of guys you date. Go to different places to find then. Try online dating, so you can get to know the man before you make any kind of decision about whether you want to take it further.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 January 2011):
Then again, look carefully at the type and see who you're attracted to. Because you're consistently fining players, and we're just not all players.
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (16 January 2011):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't intentionally go looking for players at all. I always take it slow.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 January 2011):
I would agree with all the other posts in most respects.
There are guys your age who want decent relationships, and I know because I am one and I have a girlfriend. I also know at least 5 guys who also want relationships.
The problem is that women don't go for quiet good guys. They go for players. The fact that you've had bad luck so far shows that you're going for players, rather than slowing down and really looking for a decent guy.
So my advice is that you looks very, very carefully at the type of you're attracted to, and instead look for a less outgoing guy who might offer more in the long term. There are a lot of guys who do want relationships, but women can be as judgemental as men when it comes to being picky/superficial.
Look at your type, and see whether you're attracted only to players.
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A
male
reader, Azza +, writes (16 January 2011):
Agree with the other comments, you are likely attracted to the wrong type of guy that doesn't want a relationship at that age.
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A
female
reader, smiliek +, writes (16 January 2011):
 i'm 23, and live in aus, and im married.. My hubby is also 23 (well in a few months we'll be 24 but still) I must ask, where are you meeting these guys? If its uptown or involves drinking, then yeah alot of guys are just after sex. Not all though. Perhaps broaden your horizons. My hubby and i met thru friends and workmates, and were friends for a year before we became anything further. And that was a few years back. The guys that will play you will be the ones coming up and flirting etc when you meet them. Also, if you wait say 6 months before you have sex, you'll weed out quite a few. Not many players will stick around that long when they know they can get it easier from someone else. Go for the nice guy, the one who sits back from the loudmouths, the one who is happy to date before getting too serious.. Not the party animals. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (16 January 2011):
 "Sorry but I have zero sympathy for women complaining about this.
Show me 10 random single guys your age. I will probably show you at least 5 or 6 of them willing to have a real relationship about more than just sex. And I absolutely GUARANTEE you that those same 5-6 guys will be getting less interest from women than any of the players."
100% agree. If you are only going for the players, you'll only get flings. There are a tonne of guys out there who want a serious relationship, but they're not always the most outgoing peacocks of the bunch.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Sorry but I have zero sympathy for women complaining about this.
Show me 10 random single guys your age. I will probably show you at least 5 or 6 of them willing to have a real relationship about more than just sex. And I absolutely GUARANTEE you that those same 5-6 guys will be getting less interest from women than any of the players.
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A
female
reader, bubbly001  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 I'm 22 years old and have had similar experiences. Women mature faster than men. And some men never grow up! Maybe dating men a few years older would help!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): I'm a guy your age and I find the same with most women in our age range (20-25). Immature and stupid when it comes to relationships.
My advice? Stick it out and you'll find a gem your age.
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