I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 28 June 2011: I know not knowing is killing you. I know how you feel. However, the right thing to do here, is to let her know, just once, that you are concerned for her, and thinking of her (in a card or note in this situation) and then for you to stay low ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 27 June 2011: I agree not to pester her, but I think showing her you are concerned is noble. Send her a card, and tell her you are sorry you missed her, and that you'll be thinking of her during her difficult time. Offer yourself to her if she needs anything. ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 23 June 2011: You are 30 something and this is your first girlfriend? Wow - I understand your anxiety. I am so rooting for you dude. Good Luck. Chill out. Seriously. Be cool. I know that's far easier to say than do, and frankly I have to follow my own advice ... (read in full...)
I seem to have stopped loving my husband entirely. Where have my feelings gone? Why can't I rekindle them?
Q. It's been 10 years since I met my husband, and I've been faithful to him all this time. We've had a difficult relationship. We used to fight constantly. We've both caused each other a lot of suffering and heartbreak. We've lived through poverty ...
A. 20 June 2011: On the sex issue...
If you are dreading sex with your husband, and you secretly don't want it, then when you are having it, your going to start associating the feelings of sex with bad feelings. Psych 101. It's going to make the road to enjoying... (read in full...)
I went to a strip club and my wife suspects. Should I come clean?
Q. I have been with my wife (dating and married) for 19 years now. We have had our ups and downs and during a down period (about 10 years into our relationship) I went to a strip club for the first time. I always had this bad idea about strip clubs an...
A. 19 June 2011: I see where you are coming from, OP. The strip club issue is very personal and private to every couple.
The way I see it is this. You went knowing full well that your wife is disgusted by this. There are many married men who go with their wi... (read in full...)
Married for 6 months - now some disturbing things coming out about my wife?
Q. After a drunken night of wine last night, a few things came out about my wife that I probably didnt want to hear. I have a big thing about honesty, as I have a fair few trust issues of my own, and after a few lies that she's came out with, I feel a ...
A. 19 June 2011: Right now, if I were you, my biggest fear would be her drinking. Drinking to the point of black out is a sign of alcoholism. I'd be addressing that straight away if I were you.
Since your question isn't about that though...
I'm not sure ... (read in full...)
I don't want to meet his friends while I have a broken leg!
Q. I have been dating my partner for 3 months and he has invited me to a friends wedding in 3 weeks time. The problem I have is that 2 weeks ago I broke my leg in a cycling accident. I feel so embarrassed, My whole leg is in a cast and it's been ab...
A. 19 June 2011: I am not accusing you of this, but I do think you should ask yourself the question; Would you be nervous to meet his friends if your leg wasn't broken? If you think you would be, could the leg be a convenient scapegoat? This is just a thought of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has broken his leg, I've been invited to a party and I'm wondering if I should go.
Q. Hi. My bf has just broken his leg. He is coming to stay with me this weekend. I have never been through anything like this before and although my bf is the least needy person I have ever met, I am struggling to cope with him being so unwell. He has ...
A. 18 June 2011: Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you haven't come across men willing to sacrifice for their women. I've met many, and done so myself. I hope that changes for you. ... (read in full...)
I seem to have stopped loving my husband entirely. Where have my feelings gone? Why can't I rekindle them?
Q. It's been 10 years since I met my husband, and I've been faithful to him all this time. We've had a difficult relationship. We used to fight constantly. We've both caused each other a lot of suffering and heartbreak. We've lived through poverty ...
A. 18 June 2011: Have you considered counseling?
The one thing I have a hard time getting from your comments, is whether or not you really WANT to love your husband regardless of whether or not you do. I understand losing the romance, but love is so much mor... (read in full...)
I know what I should do, but I can't. I feel like a free prostitute. Help!
Q. I am seeing my x boyfriend from 15yrs ago. He is married now with 2kids. We talk every day and he knows I'm totally in love with him. So we meet a couple of times a week and we mess around only but he refuses to kiss me or spend more than an hour ...
A. 18 June 2011: This sounds like a very bad situation. I think you need to stop this cold turkey. It really sounds to me like he is using you, and you are going to get your heart broken. Call it off before he does so you can maintain some self dignity. ... (read in full...)
How can I leave without any money and with no-where to go?
Q. Hi, I have been married for nearly 17 yrs most of this has been unhappy. I have two children from previous marrige who are grown up and don't live with me. Two children from this marrige. My parents are both dead and as I was an only child I have no ...
A. 17 June 2011: Great advice from Annalisa and K_C100. I would start by going to a church, and looking for a support group, or a clergy member you can speak with. Move forward with K_C's suggestions from there. If you don't already attend a church, might I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has broken his leg, I've been invited to a party and I'm wondering if I should go.
Q. Hi. My bf has just broken his leg. He is coming to stay with me this weekend. I have never been through anything like this before and although my bf is the least needy person I have ever met, I am struggling to cope with him being so unwell. He has ...
A. 17 June 2011: i'm writing this without the benefit of reading the previous responses, sorry if it is repetitive. I was in his situation a few years ago. I lived alone and I refused help from anyone, (because I'm a stubborn SOB and I was very secretly feeling... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has short fuse. Is it me? Please help me understand
Q. Hi there. My bf and I have been together for 18 months. Things are okay but I have one issue with him, his temper. He has a really bad temper and loses his cool really easily. He is not violent and I don’t think he ever would be but I struggle with ...
A. 16 June 2011: Hmmm. Anger issues. This is a broad subject. The tendency for him to get angry has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the love he feels for you. Anger issues usually mean there is something going on in his life for which he feels he has no control. He ... (read in full...)
He is hypnotized by pretty girls around him.
Q. A few times when we have been out I have turned to talk to my boyfriend and caught him staring intently at an attractive woman. I find this really irritating and its now causing rows. He gets this hypnotic look on his face and then snaps out of it ...
A. 16 June 2011: He has a wandering eye. It's one thing to appreciate beautiful women. Most men do. And yes, not checking them out is difficult for us. We are genetically programmed to respond to a woman who is attractive to us. However, our evolved brains do ... (read in full...)
In love with my third-cousin
Q. Dear Cupid My 3rd cousin n i were in love, but we never had anything. the family notice we had feelings for each other. He's was forbidden to be with me. We grow apart. we older now n and just got in contact. We still in love. Is it okay to be wi...
A. 15 June 2011: As far as I am concerned I think it is fine for the two of you to be together. 3rd cousins is pretty genetically different. The more important question is, do you think its okay to be with him?
As long as its legal where you are (and I don't th... (read in full...)
I found out he was married after 3 years, he thinks I will take him back! How do I make him see its over?
Q. I split from my ex a while back now because I suddenly had my eyes opened to what a nasty horrible dispicable selfish personn he is-found out after 3 years he is married amongst hundreds of other twisted lies. If I'm honest, I'm not sure if I'm over...
A. 15 June 2011: I am sorry this happened to you. How terrible for someone to lie to you for years like that. I agree you need to be vigilant and use the police if necessary. However, somehow I think your question is more about, "how do I move on?" or "... (read in full...)
Ex and I had sex, he did not try to avoid pregnancy, what does this mean?
Q. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up a year and a half ago. He contacted me and wanted to explain why things happened the way they did back then. long story short, He chose to try to make things work with his son mother and it backfired. They have been ...
A. 15 June 2011: This might have meant a few things.
1. It meant little or nothing, he was simply tired, and off his game, and he made a bad choice. (Had you been drinking?)
2. It could have been an expression of passion toward you. He was caught up in the... (read in full...)
Torn between love and security (money).
Q. i have been keeping contact and sleeping with my ex for more 18months since we broke off. we love each other very much. however i have to broke off with him due to his unstable financial situation and his too controlling behaviour. i still sleep ...
A. 15 June 2011: You need to make a choice this week. I don't think its fair of you to date the stable guy at all. You are lying to him and he deserves better.
Your ex deserves to know where he stands.
You need to make a decision, and remove the other... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 15 June 2011: I think you are okay to ask her out in person, 1 time. Yes prepare for rejection, but don't go in there with your tail between your legs.
Have a bit of a plan. Talk to her a bit before you ask her out. Better yet, go in there with your mat... (read in full...)
Am I being a pest to my married friend?
Q. I am reasonably friendly with a female work colleague and we do tend to get on well and have good conversations, saying hello and smiling at each other at work, and occasionally having the odd short discussion. She always smiles when we do run i...
A. 15 June 2011: Yep, you are being insecure. No question. That said, you might want to just come out and ask her point blank. Mind if a bother you for a chat? Or sorry to be such a pest, but I just enjoy talking to you.
If she objects and says somethin... (read in full...)
Should I tell my gay friend how I feel about him?
Q. i'm in love with my best friend. he's gay. i've tried everything but i just can't get over the feelings i have for him. i want to be with him so badly. my friend thinks he has feelings for me too. he says things that make me think he does. should i ...
A. 14 June 2011: To add to Aunt_honesty's suggestion, which i agree with, I'd say, also ask him *WHY* he doesn't feel attracted to women. You might get much more info from him that way, and then save yourself the embarrassment of professing your love to him.... (read in full...)
Multiple orgasms must be amazing - WHY don't women want to have sex all day?
Q. Ever since I was with my first "serious" girlfriend, I've envied womens' ability to have multiple orgasms. When she got going, she'd have one after another with only a few seconds (if that) in between for a couple minutes, I'd have my one "little" ...
A. 14 June 2011: Can a man answer this question? That's like asking why people don't stay drunk or stoned all day. There is more to life than a physical fix. Sure it feels great... But too much of anything, is never a good thing. Ladies?... (read in full...)
My worry is that love isn't real, or doesn't last... Am I right? Does anyone have a loving relationship that has lasted???
Q. Hey, I'm wondering if it is unrealistic to think that love can last? I've been with my bf 8 months, things are great, and he's talked about us moving in together in the next year and said that he'd like us to marry and have children some day, which ...
A. 14 June 2011: Love evolves, and you must too. Very long loving relationships are quite possible. Your idea of love has to change as you do, while you age. You have to work at it, and you have to be selfless. You have to find new ways to enjoy each other, and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's daughter despises the fact that I moved in without consultation by her mother!
Q. I am 34 years old and my girlfriend is 48. She has 15 year old daughter that despises the fact that I moved in before my girlfriend consulted her daughter. Any advice to lighten the load?...
A. 14 June 2011: I hate to bring my rating down by saying the unpopular thing, but in my opinion the question has to be asked...
Couldn't you wait 3 years until this girl is off to college or working until you move in with her mother? Seriously, spending the last... (read in full...)
Boyfriend claims that porn vidoes aren't pornography!
Q. My boyfriend always said he didn't get into porn, although I did. He said he subscribed to playboy for several years in his 20's, most of them stayed in the wrapper because of their worth and "he liked the articles". But whatever, I tried ...
A. 14 June 2011: I think this guy has some sex issues. He gets playboys and keeps them in the plastic? Does he still have them? Still photos are porn?
I really believe that you should both try to find some sexual satisfaction with each other, without porn and... (read in full...)
Married ex had my name tattooed on his body.
Q. I am in a serious pickle and I'm afraid I've got myself into it. I was seeing a married man for a few years and broke up a few weeks back. He's been asking me to take him back since but I'm adamant to move on and make something of myself. Hoever ...
A. 13 June 2011: The first thing you need to do, is convince yourself that you ARE NOT in a pickle. He is. You will be just fine, as you were, moving on.
He might actually have a very good reason for not wanting to end his marriage, and it might not have any... (read in full...)
Is this mom interested in me?
Q. Hey guys. I'm a married dad with two sons. One of the mom's at my son's school has asked me for a play date with our kids. What does this mean? Could she be interested in me? Don't the moms usually ask each other? Should I say yes? Just wondering ...
A. 13 June 2011: Everyone is making this much more complicated than it is. I've been a full time dad for 8 years, and I'm telling you, just make the date, and don't think about the rest.
When she starts batting her eyelashes at you, then you can start worrying... (read in full...)
Thinking that my wife was cheating on me, I did it too. I regret it now...how can I get her back?
Q. I need help! Ive been married for four years to my beautiful and amazing wife. But . we there was a time in our marriage that i didn't pay any attention to her, or make any effort for her, i completely took her for granted. ... i e...
A. 13 June 2011: I can't add much beyond what the others have told you, other than to chime in, in agreement, that you have made a very poor decision, and now you must face the consequences.
You have to change your thinking from "How do I get her back?" to "I do... (read in full...)
He prefers computer games over me!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend (whom I live with) for about a year and a half now. He is seven years my senior. We used to have sex on a regular basis; at least once a day, sometimes more. We also did a lot of couple-y things like going for w...
A. 13 June 2011: Sounds like he is addicted to the games. You have the power to give him a choice...
When we are together, no video games. You can't make him want sex, but you can insist he participates in the relationship. ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he want to have sex with me?
Q. I met this guy earlier tonight, and we were having a nice time watching TV and we held hands, not sure if we were attracted to each other and then we moved to the bedroom and started foreplay which was okay, and then he stopped and said "sorry, ...
A. 13 June 2011: All of the previous answers are possibilities. The real issue is that you won't know unless you ask him. We can all make pretty good guesses. I personally would guess he either still has feelings for someone else, or he doesn't like to rush into ... (read in full...)
Is serenading her a good idea?
Q. I Decided to tell a girl I'm in love with the way i feel about her. We dated for about 6 months and then broke up. But i still love her. I decided to let her know. And I'm thinking about singing her a song. I've never sung in front of anyone ...
A. 13 June 2011: Don't do it, dude.
Instead tell her you wrote the song, and its really good. Tell her you wrote it because you still love her. Tell her if a year or two down the road, she still wants to hear it, she should look you up. Let a year or two go b... (read in full...)
Why does everyone come to me for advice and yet I can't make the right decision for my life?
Q. How is it that every one is always coming to me for advice, and I am assuming that they like the advice I give - they keep coming back for more...but I draw a complete blank when it comes to my own problems in life? Even when I realize exactly ...
A. 12 June 2011: I just had a funny thought about baby steps from What about Bob.
Seriously though, start with some small decisions and grow them from there. Like, decide to change the drapes or something. Change your wardrobe, or rearrange the furnitur... (read in full...)
Should I take my 11 year old to a psychologist?
Q. My 11 year-old son seems sad these days. Last night he was crying at a family party even though he had some friends over too. When I asked him what was wrong, he replied that he hated school. This strikes me as odd for a Saturday night near the end ...
A. 12 June 2011: This sounds very much like a possible case of bullying. With all the stuff going on, on the internet and such with this, I would not leave any stone unturned. If he is online, check what he is up to, who he is talking to. Ask him flat out if ... (read in full...)
Why is he being unreliable? He's 40. Why can't he be honest?
Q. Okay so I met a guy quite a few months ago he chased me for a long time but I had other stuff going on and wasn't ready to date anybody so although I talked to him I made it clear what my situation was yet he persisted. Finally in February of t...
A. 12 June 2011: He has ditched you three weekends in a row? Time to move on, sorry. Maybe he has a large ego and it was damaged when you gave him the cold shoulder initially. Then, to prove a point to himself or you, he won you over so he could return the favor. ... (read in full...)
To what degree do I have a right to pursue my career love? Despite my husband's antagonism to it.
Q. My husband is very controlling and competitive when it comes to our careers. We've been married for 14 years. I had been singing professionally for 13 years when we met. I stopped singing because my children were born and then sang for about a year ...
A. 12 June 2011: You have an absolute right. And he needs to accommodate you. I think you simply need to assert yourself and make a schedule and do it. If he objects to watching the kids, use what little money you make to pay for the sitter. I think what you h... (read in full...)
Any Christians who date people of other faiths?
Q. Theres this girl who I've known since I was 12 or 13 and her parents are good family friends with my parents. A coupe of mths ago things just seemed go really well between the two of us. However, we recently had a talk about whether we wanted to ...
A. 10 June 2011: I make these comments to you as a Single, Divorced Father. I married a Christian who was raised in a different denomination from me. I wasn't practicing my faith at the time I met her and I didn't really care what faith she was raised in.
What ... (read in full...)
Why does he express his love so frequently?
Q. My new boyfriend is really into me. We don't get much time together as we live apart so when we do, we treasure every minute. He cooks for me, and we make each other happy. One thing , however, is that he repeats very often throughout my stay that ...
A. 9 June 2011: Read up a bit a dependency or co-dependency. It sounds to me like he might have some issues there. He might be getting a sense of security from you. He insists on repeating his love for you out of fear of losing you. (Ironic how it could annoy ... (read in full...)
Can a 20 year age difference really make him feel that insecure?
Q. I have had a friend for over 8 years now. There has always been an attraction between us we have never acted on it. We never really discussed age etc it was never an issue. I knew he was older than me (he is a young looking active attractive man)but ...
A. 9 June 2011: If you hadn't been friends with him for 8 years, my first question would be, are you sure he isn't married. I assume you would have discovered that by now.
I cannot imagine what other reasons he would have for being insecure about a younger ... (read in full...)
Do I need therapy to get over this fantasy?
Q. I don't know if I need help or what. I posted on here before about my feelings for my married friend. We know that we cannot be together because we are both married, I told him to be happy with his wife and forget about me and I would do the same (I ...
A. 9 June 2011: Yikes. Years? I suppose if you found the right therapist they might be able to help.
Do you still see this guy?
A starting point for you might be to ask yourself what the fantasy you have is all about, thereby identifying what is missing ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to tell him his sexual habits are strange for me...
Q. Hi guys, I just want to ask is it normal for a guy to lick his own come? It's just after we've finished having sex, my boyfriend will go down on me and put is tongue right inside me to get all my come and his come in his mouth... I was just ...
A. 9 June 2011: I don't know what everyone's else's sex habits are, but the going down on you after sex does seem really strange to me.
The thing is, it might be strange, but its not harmful unless it really bothers you, which apparently it does.
So you ... (read in full...)
Love at first sight? Possible? What do you think?
Q. Ok. I'm back. I was on here a long time back whining about am I ever going to get over an abusive ex. Ok, that's done, pain is gone but now I have a very interesting issue. I had been talking to a guy on and off on a dating site for about a...
A. 9 June 2011: Love at first sight... He probably had the overwhelming chemical reaction that I had when I first saw the person I can't get off my mind. I think this could easily be mistaken, or confused with love. Especially with us men. I know I don't '... (read in full...)
Man in wife's class is unintenionally exposing himself, should she tell him?
Q. I (we) have some need for advice. My wife and I are married for quite a few years, our youngest child is now in full time elementary school, so my wife wanted to pursue a career. She is currently attending a university to become a teacher. Ther...
A. 9 June 2011: Personally, I'd slam the guy for it. You are being far to polite on this. Come one man, have some self respect. Clean yourself up.
She should tell him bluntly. "Do you really think i want to look at that thing?" ... (read in full...)
What should I do? My marriage is falling apart.
Q. Married 45 yrs-I can`t do anything right for wife anymore..No sexual relations now for 2 years--I`m not interested !! We constantly argue over unimportant things. I've tried very hard to keep the marriage going but I`m losing any motivation to go on...
A. 8 June 2011: Your a hero making a marriage last that long. 45 years puts you at least about 65 years old?
At 65 there are medical conditions which could contribute to mood disorders. I would discuss this with your wife, and a Doctor to find out if that is ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a married parent whose child attends the same school as mine.
Q. So I have a crush on a married parent who's child goes to the same school as mine. I am happily married (9yrs) to a wonderful and good looking guy who has changed for the better ever since we got married so this intense crush is kind of strange to ...
A. 8 June 2011: Anonymous, Would you consider creating an account and find me on this site, so we can compare notes? Emilynk, Will you say something to him? Or will you let it go? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is smoking weed everyday....Help!
Q. Ok so I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, I could not ever picture my life without him but for the past couple months/weeks he has been smoking weed/grass near enough every single day.. Every time he talks to me (texting) or even when ...
A. 8 June 2011: If you love this guy, you SHOULD try to save him. Tell him straight up. I love you, what you are doing is really hurting yourself, and our relationship. You are going down a path that is very difficult to return from. You are at a crossroad. ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a married parent whose child attends the same school as mine.
Q. So I have a crush on a married parent who's child goes to the same school as mine. I am happily married (9yrs) to a wonderful and good looking guy who has changed for the better ever since we got married so this intense crush is kind of strange to ...
A. 5 June 2011: Have I experienced this? Almost exactly this. And I have yet to recover from it. In fact I come to this site as therapy for myself. Giving my 2 cents to others helps me process what has happened to me. It has been devastating to me. My advice... (read in full...)
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