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Man in wife's class is unintenionally exposing himself, should she tell him?

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I (we) have some need for advice. My wife and I are married for quite a few years, our youngest child is now in full time elementary school, so my wife wanted to pursue a career. She is currently attending a university to become a teacher.

There is this guy who was in a class with her last semester, she didn't mention him, but this current semester he is another class with her. The two of them have kind of become friends when they talked and realized they were in a same class last year, and both going to be teachers. My wife has a situation she want's advice for.

He is younger, I think she said he's either 22 or 23. And he's a typical college student, this class they're in is an early morning class and he shows up in sleep shorts or sleep pants, a plain white tshirt, and flip-flops. She said you can tell he didn't shave or shower or anything. I told her this is real common amoungst younger students, just roll out of bed, throw on flips and go to class.

Well, since they have become friends, only at school, they go out for a smoke (my wife doesn't, but she goes outside at break), or for coffee, etc. He has started always sitting right next to her. In fact the other students always leave the desk next to her open for him. Well, the problem and question is, she said he doesn't wear underwear, and a few times she's seen his penis through the fly of his sleep pants.

Question is she has is should she mention it to him? I'm torn because maybe he would appreciate knowing that he's poking out, well according to my wife, it's more like hanging out, but.. But I also think that maybe he'll think she's interested or something, why is she even looking there, but my wife is always early for class, sitting down, and he comes in and is standing there right at eye level when he puts his books down and takes his seat.

What do you think? Don't say anything and tell my wife to look the other way when he arrives for class? Or should she mention it to him. If they were good friends I would tell her to say something, but since they're only friends in class, would her saying something seem weird?

View related questions: underwear, university

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):

I'm the guy who posted this question. I don't think there is anything wrong here, I think the guy's oblivious. I wear sleep pants and sleep shorts and go outside to get the newspaper and if someone comes over so what. I would never wear them to a class though. My wife told me sometime ago that I was hanging out when I went to get the newspaper from the front yard, now I only buy sleep pants that have a button on the fly.

Maybe this guy just needs some advice (or actually maybe some grooming tips, haha). This overly casual attitude kids seem to have nowadays might be part of it. Anyway I think I'm going to have my wife read these answers and advise her to just point at it and say, your little pencil eraser is sticking out or something funny like that. That will take away the possibility of him thinking anything wrong about her and him.

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A male reader, jc2008 United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2011):

Its as simple as this;

Her "your flying low, without a pilot"

Him "ugh"

Her Points down to his crotch

Him "oh, sorry"

And if he does it again just repeat the process above, just a lil louder so everyone can hear. ;-D

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):

from your description he seems to be a scruffy twit. ok I admit that some university types assume the scruffy look to make them look intellectual and that but this one seems to be a genuine scruffy neck. what is your wife doing around him? she should avoid him and keep away from him as the others are doing.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):

Yes, she should mention this!

I was in high school once with my whole wang exposed because I forgot to button my fly and THANK GOD someone mentioned it to me before anyone else noticed!

I was embarrassed, but not as much as I would have been had others noticed.

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A male reader, freeme United States +, writes (9 June 2011):

freeme agony auntPersonally, I'd slam the guy for it. You are being far to polite on this. Come one man, have some self respect. Clean yourself up.

She should tell him bluntly. "Do you really think i want to look at that thing?"

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 June 2011):

Honeypie agony auntIt can be done nicely. Just say Dude you really should wear some underwear, your pecker is sticking out.

No one wants to see a limp ....

It doesn't make your wife a pervert that she's noticed it.

If it would make her uncomfortable she could write him a note.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):

I would say she can tell him in a way that makes him feel irresponsible or that it is unappreciated. People have rights to decency in public places, and genitalia hanging out is not acceptable. Being a college student is no excuse. Coupled with how much he seems to hang around your wife, I'd say it sounds like he's doing it somewhat deliberately if it is literally "hanging out". THat's not accidental, I dont care HOW casual you are. But if he's not like standing there talking to her with it dangling, then maybe he really is that oblivious.

I can tell you this...if it progresses, or if he sees her noticing and not saying anything, the chances of him thinking she likes it are probably higher.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (9 June 2011):

chigirl agony auntHahahah! She should tell him, certainly. If not for anything other than the fun of seeing his expression. If she's friendly with him it would also be the good thing to do, friends need to watch each others back. I always tell my girlfriend when their skirt is sliding up a little too high.

Tell him.

He'll not think she's interested, I mean come on. People look, if we see a penis poking out it's not noticed because all people are perverts. It's noticed because a penis belongs inside of clothes, not outside flopping around. I mean wouldn't you have noticed too if the guy sitting next to you had the barn door wide open? And you're not the least interested, are you? But you'd notice....

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