A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, I could not ever picture my life without him but for the past couple months/weeks he has been smoking weed/grass near enough every single day.. Every time he talks to me (texting) or even when he comes to pick me up he is stoned and can hardly have a conversation with him because he's completely stoned! I have tried it a few times with him but nothing drastic like every day.. I dont see the point in taking it and the worst thing is he hangs around with his mate who I really hate because he is such a bad influence... He talked him into cheatin on me in the past and hes such an idiot! I really dont know what to do because hes always with him and always stoned and i dont want to be in a relationship where smoking weed with his friends is basically all he does and we cant go out places because he spends his money on weed and cigarettes.. i honestly dont know what to do i really do love him but i am starting to get seriously fed up with it! what do i do? please help.. x
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 June 2011):
 when you say that you 'really do love him'.. what do you love about him? make a list of his good and bad points and have a good think about whether you want this guy in your life anymore, coz you have not said ONE nice thing about him in this post.
a guy who smokes weed every day and hangs around with a mate who 'talked him into cheating' (sorry, but i don't see how anyone can be THAT persuasive! - ultimately it was your boyfriends choice to cheat) and he never has any money left after he has spent it on that crap, does not even show you and your relationship enough respect, which is why he feels its ok to not be able to string a sentence together when he is with you!
what exactly ARE you getting out of this relationship?? yes you have been with him quite a while but it seems to me that nowadays he loves weed more than you - ask him to choose, if you don't believe me.
is he really the sort of man you want to have a future with? kids? house? marriage? don't forget the mental health implications related to cannabis use. i suggest you read up on this, learn more, its scary stuff. give him the ultimatum, for his own good as well as yours - i hope this is just a phase he is going through (this happens and i do not believe that ALL pot heads progress to harder drugs) if he is happy to drop his habit completely then there is a chance that the relationship can be something worth having, but if he refuses to stop, then, do your self a favour - leave
x
A
male
reader, OldTimer Soon  +, writes (8 June 2011):
Your boyfriend is on a track that YOU can not help him with. All that can happen is BAD for you. Have the sense and courage to get out. Leave hinm to go his path. His personality has a severe dependency flaw meaning he cannot be a friend to himself so loyalty to you is impossible.
Flash is Flash and Trash is Trash ... you cannot walk barefooted in manure without it getting between your toes.
Protect you and yours FIRST.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): me and my friends smoke weed every day , and im still able to keep my daily activities up and running. I do not spend ALL my money on weed as I need some for gas and food and etc. Your at the age of 18-21 and to tell you the honest truth your taking everything wayyyyyyyyy to serious let him do his thing I also have a girl friend who doesn't support weed but she knows that if I HAVE to leave weed I will. But theres no reason to and honestly I quite frankly love weed and find no reason to stop smoking it. Weed is mostly smoked by younger people and I believe that once you mature you will leave weed because it no longer makes sense to smoke it when your older the way I see it. Hes just young and trying to have fun like me :) Weed is not addicting also , it has been prooved in MANY cases that anyone is able to leave weed cold turky any day at any point of there life.
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A
male
reader, freeme  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 If you love this guy, you SHOULD try to save him. Tell him straight up. I love you, what you are doing is really hurting yourself, and our relationship. You are going down a path that is very difficult to return from. You are at a crossroad. You need to choose between me, and your stoned mate. If you choose me, I will do everything in my power to help you stay away from weed. If you choose your mate, and weed, I'm gone. Encourage him to get some drug counseling as well. Obsessive pot smoking will destroy him. And you if you let it. Whatever you do. DON'T ENABLE, DON'T keep going back to him. If you threaten to leave, don't take him back until he is CLEARLY clean. Good Luck, I am sorry this has happened to someone you love.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 June 2011):
 This guy is addicted to weed and has cheated on you. You shouldn't still be with him. It doesn't matter if his friend was doing the egging on, your boyfriend made the decision to cheat.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 June 2011):
 Why are you still with him? He cheats, he smokes weed, he can't have an Why are you still with him? He cheats, he smokes weed, he can't have an intelligent conversation, spends his money on weed, has bad friends......... Honestly, he sounds like a loser.
PS, no one MADE him cheat, honey. That was something your BF decided to do. Maybe he didn't "think", but it is still HIS actions.
Leave and never look back. You can not CURE people with love. And you can't change him into what you want him to be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): I approve of all of the advice given below. Weed is addictive because it gets rid of peoples problems temporarily and people can become dependant on the state weed puts you in.when people smoke weed they are in effect having a relationship with weed that is beyond what a person can experience with a human. He is going to embark on a journey that will lead him along the bad path in life and there is nothing you can do. Before he stops for good he will have lost everything, his job, his gf, maybe his family, his friends wont become true friends anymore..just pivots to get his fix.Say goodbye. He will no longer be worth anything as a boyfriend. He will only be a good subject for a rehabilitation officer.Sorry. But take all the advice given below.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 June 2011):
 Tell him it's unacceptable and that you will no longer be with him when he's high. AND THEN DO IT.
either he will stop getting high to be with you or you will have to end the relationship.
but before you make this ultimatum you need to be sure you will follow through with the consequences.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (8 June 2011):
 You make him choose, you, or weed...
If he chooses you, then he has to ditch the weed, simple as, or you WILL leave!!
Stop letting him walk all over you, grow a pair and sort this out...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 June 2011):
So basically you're with a stoned cheater who has crap friends, and even turns up to pick you up stoned.
I would dump this guy, and never look back.
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