A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Theres this girl who I've known since I was 12 or 13 and her parents are good family friends with my parents. A coupe of mths ago things just seemed go really well between the two of us. However, we recently had a talk about whether we wanted to continue seriously and she said she didn't want to continue because we had different views on religion.I still think about her almost everyday and I can't seem to get her out of my mind or what could be a wonderful relationship. she's everything I look for in a girl and I'm really sad that something like religion should stop two people from loving one another.So I guess the question is: Are there any Christians out there who date people in other religions?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 June 2011):
 I am a Buddhist too.
As I am sure you know, Buddhism is called the "religion without God " because we don't believe in the existence of a transcendent entity outside of yourself who's gonna say you do this you do that. A Buddhist strives to reach enlightenment and defeat his " fundamental obscurity " right here right now as a human being. Gauthama Shakyamuni himself ( Buddha ) was not a God , but a regular common mortal human being. For us the problem of dating someone from a different faith... it's not a problem. We are not obliged or encouraged to date only other Buddhists, if we don't we are not displeasing any God or religious autorithy. We look for what unites, not for what divides, and it's quite possible to find kindred spirits with your same values, aspirations and morals, even if they chose to attend a church or a synagogue or a mosque .
For them,..it's different. And frankly , your question is a bit naive. A Christian, and most particularly a Catholic, is supposed to live as a Christian, to be a living witness of his faith in society, to raise a Christian family and to grow his children in the Christian faith.
A Christian ( or a Muslim , or a Jew ) - if he wants to abide by the teaching of his religion, can't say " well I like this spirituality , it works for me , but maybe there are other spiritual traditions that work too and they are right too ". This is called "moral relativism " and it's strongly frowned upon. A "true" Christian is a testimonial of his faith and that must show also in his personal choices ,like the choice of a partner.
It's a bit like for soccer fans . If you joined the official Manchester United fan club, you can't wear your club's scarf- and then go to the stadium to root for the Arsenal.
Why some Christian don't see it this way and have a softer, more inclusive approach ?... well, frankly because they are do-it- yourself Christians.
Personally, I admire and approve their capacity for critical thinking, and for filtering the "rules " through the light of their conscience and of their personal relationship with God.
But, that's not what the Church says. It says that the rules are made for being obeyed, not interpreted.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): The most important point that has been ignored is, are you both compatable and do you both believe in God?
If the answer is yes then it's fine - religion is just an institution God knows hearts and that is what he cares about!
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 June 2011):
 I guess my avatar won't help, because, well, I may be small and cute and smell of milk but I'm still the Devil.
My personal opinion is that your faith should not be a problem. Some people might disagree, like Annalisa (who is a dear friend, even though I'm the Devil and she's Catholic; but we Devils are friendly and like to lead everyone astray). You also need to bear in mind that in some religions dating people from outside is not a choice.
My opinion is, date anyone.
Now I have it easy, because, well, no one will ever try to convert the Devil. They may try to kill me, but I'm immortal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): YEah i have...its cool as long as you let the person evolve on their own and respect their beliefs....its as simple as that. Live n let live. :) Ofcourse, for a rel'ship to work out; both people have to adjust to the differences...whether its religious or cultural.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to everyone for all the responses. I understand that religion is a very sensitive topic and its much easier to hear both sides of the story than to say one opinion is better than another. I guess i didnt make it clear in the question. She is a christian and im a buddhist. She has said that she liked me to and in her own words she wanted to reciprocate but felt that she shouldnt because she had a stronger belief in god than me i suppose. I am willing to accept her as she is, though i can imagine based on advice so far that there can be times when it would be difficult to discuss things. Im just really sad that on an emotional level we managed to click really well. She understands how i think and vice versa (since weve known each other for over 10 yrs) But she seems to have placed a higher priority in her religion because she believes she should only be with someone who helps her to be closer to god.I guess I have another question which stems from some of your responses: Why is it some strict Christians still date other non Christians and are willing to accept other faiths, but some do not? Forgive me for my lack of understanding in this but i am really just trying to understand the bigger picture before deciding on what is the best move. Have any of you also had a change in the strength of your belief after a long period of time, based on life experiences, etc?I am not one to jump into relationships easily, and when I do meet the right girl and she expresses her interest back, it just breaks my heart to think that religion is preventing her from continuing a relationship when everything else seems to naturally fall into place.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I want to add on to my old answer, i think they can work as long as you don't shove your beliefs down one anothers throats. I'm fine with all religions, and i respect them, but i get very angry when someone talks about my religion like its wrong. We don't know if theres a "right" religion. The way i see it, you respect me, i respect you. And don't go on about all of the bad things in the past that one particular religion has done. Its hard not finding someone or something who did horrible things in the past, and that includes religion. But there in the past, lets keep them there
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I dated a Japanese girl who was basically Shinto, and while I respected and was very interested in her faith, she showed no reciprocal interest in my faith (Lutheran) or my ancestry. The relationship did not last, although I don't believe it was due to religious beliefs...I just don't think she was that into me.
I was intimate once in college with a girl who was a self proclaimed satan worshipper. That was purely about sex, and while great, there was nothing great about the relationship. Been with 2 Catholics...both relationships were constrained religiously because I think, even though they were not practicing, they felt some superiority. Sorry, nothing against Catholics, but that's the vibe I got. Dated a Jewish woman and had a great relationship with her. Mutual respect of each others religions and I almost converted. Currently with a Presbyterian, and I have to say it is the best union so far. These are just my expereinces...nothing agains ANY of the faiths mentioned.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I hope you don't mind my answering: I don't, but converted and have a view and have heard views from others in this situation. Anyway if my answer isn't useful you don't need to listen.
I think that if two people have different religions it can be very difficult. There is the possibility of one converting. The parents could be against the match, or the whole families, and there are likely to be differences of opinion in how to do everyday things. Most of all there could be disagreement about how to bring up the children (and both religions I have followed say that sex is only meant for having children to bring up in that faith).
I think your friend/girlfriend is very wise to think about this; it shows a very responsible attitude. Maybe you need to think about all the ins and outs and what you would be willing, realistically, to change about yourself. (It sounds like she wouldn't want to change from her religious views.)
I don't think that religion stops people from loving each other, but it can often stop them from continuing, as seems to be the case.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): Of course there are christians who marry people who follow other religions. There is no need to feel sad because if she truly loved you, nothing would matter.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I have been out with a christian girl once. I am not religious because I know the truth behind religion. And the relationship ended because I kept giving her to much evidence that religion origionates from astrological Sun God worship. She couldnt argue so she hated me and left for a catholic boy.
I think that beliefs are one thing that need to match. Because Beliefs Drive you. If they clash then your going to to go down some interesting paths.
The best way of it working is researching religion for the similairities in both religion. Every single religion has a character that is equivilent to jesus that had 12 followers, born from a virgin, died on a cross and was reborn 3 days later and sold by a follower.
So I advise you find a common ground. You might realise your all worshiping the same thing... The Sun!
Soo when you come to a common ground It can work.
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female
reader, bittersweetmemory  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 i'm a Christian and so far none of my bfs were Christians but all of them respected my believes as well as i respected theirs..it didn't bother either of us..
but if it bothers her than i think it's a more serious issue for the two of you..
would help if we knew weather you or her is the Christian and weather the other one would want to make some compromise in this...
though i do believe this shouldn't be a deciding factor weather to date or not someone...
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): Right here. No one in my family has a problem with dating people of other faiths, and i could have just as easily been presbytarian (cant spell) because of my grandfather. I myself am catholic, which is a form of christianity.
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male
reader, freeme  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 I make these comments to you as a Single, Divorced Father. I married a Christian who was raised in a different denomination from me. I wasn't practicing my faith at the time I met her and I didn't really care what faith she was raised in.
What ended up seriously hurting our marriage was our family background. Even though neither of us was practicing when we were young (early 20s) and we met. As life progressed our different backgrounds started creating serious friction in our marriage. I went back to my faith, which her whole family was quite critical of. I had to endure family dinners attacking my heritage and beliefs.
Mixed faith relationships can work, but you'd be wise to get a ton of counseling ahead of time, and you would need to know that you really are going to have some major issues. Also - keep in mind, that regardless of how devout or practicing you are now, being raised in a faith really makes you into the person you are. As you get older, that will begin to really show. You may want to go back.
Now throw your strong faith and hers into it... And kids... Who is right? Dad? Mom's church says this, yours says that. messy.
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female
reader, OnlyException  +, writes (10 June 2011):
My boyfriend of over 2 years is atheist, I'm Christian, so yes in a way. I wouldn't discount anybody immediately because of their faith. There are 2 very important things we'd have to agree on though. 1) I want to get married in a church, as part of my faith this is very important to me. 2)If we have children how will we handle religion? How will we bring them up in regards to it?
What concerns has she raised about dating someone from a different religion?
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