A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I'll start with one thing: it was a long distance relationship. We met on the Saint Valentine's day in 2011 and had some amazing time together. She's from Canada and she was amazed by Russia, and I happened to be from Russia. It was all nice until she suddenly decided to dump me around the April of 2011. I was feeling miserable, especially after she found herself a Canadian guy (who lived far away though). I was completely devastated, she used to call me so many names and hated me a lot, but somehow around the July we managed to get back together. That Canadian guy was devastated too but he moved on later because he realized she was not right for him.Then it was amazing experience, we loved each other just fiercely. She never stopped telling me how much she loved me, one day she even said I was the love of her life. She was so sincere I was happy. On the Saint Valentine's day, she apologized for everything she ever did to me and promised to be with me forever and always listen to what I say to her about everything. One day she had a dream that I cheated on her and she said it was the worst nightmare in her life. She also used to cry when I went online because she felt lonely without me. Talked about marrying me, how our mixed white-black kids would look beautiful and so on. In other words, it was just a fairytale. We compensated lack of sex with, well, masturbating to each other and fantasizing a lot. We wanted to meet this summer, I found her some easy well-paid jobs, but she failed all interviews somehow. This is where it started from.She suddenly decided she didn't need a boyfriend anymore. I thought it was a joke because such things happen to her pretty often and didn't react to it. On the next day we started talking again, she was laughing and stuff, but suddenly, out of nowhere she started shittalking me like crazy. I went mad about it and dropped the call. Then she said she wanted "all men in the world", I called her a whore out of disgust and my madness, but then said sorry. She didn't care anymore though. She was going on about how she's going to fuck many amazing guys on her trip to America and I was telling her it would go away. And then she started hitting on two guys, from Finland and Sweden respectively, and the Finnish guy ate it. He offered her a trip to Finland and she agreed. Now they talk everyday, but not everything is as fine between them as it might seem. He always asks me about her, he's always paranoid and when he discovered that I was playing some game with her yesterday, he went absolutely crazy. He threatened to kill me, called me so many names, but she ended up calming him down and shittalking me.Well, what there is else to say is that I posted her picture (she never wanted me to for some reason, and she's very paranoid about somebody seeing her on the internet or something) on some website and she saw it. I also talked about her to someone and she found out about it as well. She now hates me so much, calling me an untrustworthy ugly faggot, she calls me so many names and wants me to leave her alone so bad, overall acts like I killed her entire family. She also tells me how good that guy is all the time even though he's an obvious psycho who never goes out and just doesn't know that some other girls might be fine too.I think it goes without mentioning that I've been very devastated for the last 2 months. I love her a lot because I still remember the past and I truly wanted to be with her. We're of exactly the same ages, we attract each other (she's Black and I'm Russian and we both loved it, although now she says she's completely unattracted to me and calls me an ugly fag and how I can be replaced easy and how she deserves much better, even that psycho guy). I don't really know what to think about it, but she wants me to go away forever, laughs at my attempts of having a life (I'm going on a date tomorrow and she ridiculed it). Well I'm feeling bad because I genuinely love her and know such things happen to her pretty often. I tried telling her that but all she says is "fuck off, I don't want you, I'm over you, you're shit, you're ugly, your personality is shit, I'm never going back to you, etc". I must say it still hits me. My past experience at getting back together with her makes me confident in my words, but she won't listen, even though she promised to.But I should admit I'm feeling somewhat fine now. I'm able to eat, I don't have any pains inside anymore and I pretty much enjoy myself. The question is, I'd love her back a lot, but on the other hand I wouldn't mind completely getting over her. What should I do in both cases?
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get back together, long distance, move on, my ex, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): I have nothing to do with her anymore anyway, she blocked me from everywhere possible and will never want to get in touch with me.
A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (2 June 2012):
 She can get professional help for the problem, OP. I don't think she's a bad person. I recognise all those symptoms of manic depression and you confirmed my doubts. The issue does have a solution, provided you're both willing to work towards it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): Thank you all by the way, I already have 2 girls in my sight. One of them is madly in love with me :)
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A
female
reader, Aunt Liz  +, writes (31 May 2012):
Go out meet real people, in person. Get involved in local groups. You owe it to yourself. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): She used to be on meds against depression, and I think she still takes them.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth +, writes (30 May 2012):
I wanted to know whether she is clinically depressed. Sometimes clinical depression or even bipolar disorder can cause such erratic conduct. If she does suffer from such an ailment, there is professional help available. Just a thought.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): She often is depressed about many things, particularly her parents, her race, her appearence, etc, so I used to be there for her and cheer her up. Now she claims to be happy though.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth +, writes (29 May 2012):
Does she suffer from depression? Have you ever asked her?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 May 2012):
 why in the world do you want to be with someone who is so mean to you?
I think you should forget about her
in fact, block her name and her information and go NO CONTACT... she will try to get in touch with you because she's a game player and she's using you to make her day fun... she does not care about you at all...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): I'll be honest, mate, she sounds like a bit of an internet playa. You shouldn't pursue someone who validates her existence through having bunch of people lust after her over the internet. Get a hobby or something :3c
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): She sounds like a Bitch. Nothing of value was lost. Stay free brother.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): To be honest my friend, and for the like of a more pleasant word - she's a player! She loves all the attention from all the guys, tells them all what they want to hear, and then drops them when things start to get too serious because she has no intention of settling down with any of them. You can do far better for yourself, if you are looking for a relationship you don't need someone like her. The emotion will pass if you just focus on the future and keep telling yourself the bad points about her and not just keep remembering the good beginning because that was fake that was just part of her game to get under your skin... Trust me I've recently came out of a relationship with a girl who does similar things ... You don't need her!
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