How do I stop getting gossiped about and treated badly because I had an affair with a married man?
Q. I am in an awful situation right now. I had an affair with a married man. I am married myself. We both have children. It started out as harmless flirting but our feelings of attraction grew and we ended up crossing the line. We have the sam...
A. 16 September 2011: Great answers from your other respondents! I do, however, have to take umbridge with this statement: You can't demand respect from people, it has to be earned. Part of earning respect is tied up in demanding it. I'm not talking about stomping y... (read in full...)
Can you got STD from sleeping unprotected from 2 men?
Q. Hi, can I ask if a woman sleeps with 2 guys unprotected, can either of them or her get a STI/STD if they are all clean before sleeping with her. Thanks...
A. 16 September 2011: If all three individuals in question are VERIFIED to be clean before hand, and there are NO OTHER partners involved with ANY of them, then no. Diseases do not just pop up out of the blue because you had sex. They are transmitted, in one way or ... (read in full...)
How do I stop getting gossiped about and treated badly because I had an affair with a married man?
Q. I am in an awful situation right now. I had an affair with a married man. I am married myself. We both have children. It started out as harmless flirting but our feelings of attraction grew and we ended up crossing the line. We have the sam...
A. 16 September 2011: Bear with me through the harsh beginning of what I have to say - it does have a happy ending, but it's going to be hard to get there. "How do I hold my head up high again and deal with this mess?" You don't. Period. End of sentence. You beh... (read in full...)
Boyfriends can't bring me to orgasm, I have to do it myself
Q. Hi.. i am 17 soon to be 18 years old and i have had, which i ould consider, 2 serious boyfriends. both in which complain about how i never orgasm during sex. it seems to be that i am the only person who can bring myself to orgasm, however this is ...
A. 6 September 2011: Sage is correct in all that he says - however, I think a few things should be added...
While it is techically possible for -some- girls to have an orgasm through intercourse alone, it is VERY uncommon. Clitoral stimulation is the norm for reaching... (read in full...)
How do you find the inner strength to help people?
Q. I just want to let everyone know that I have been on this site for at least 4 years and its been the best site from heaven.... I have been troubled by my broken marriage and have a hard time putting things together ....how do you people do it ...ju...
A. 6 September 2011: I started trying to help when my own heart was broken. I'm not entirely sure if anything I've had to say has helped anyone else, but it has helped me to try. I get to share my story, a little bit at a time, as I'm ready. I get to think about ... (read in full...)
How do I do all these extra jobs and still study?
Q. This is not a dating problem, but I really think that you guys can help me with this. At least read it... I'd really appreciate it. The thing is – my mother is going away for 10 days tomorrow. She’s leaving me ( 15), my sister ( 10) and our Dad. I’m...
A. 5 September 2011: First - le me say that you don't sound confusing. For a second language speaker your age, your english is superb. In fact, it is much better than many Americans' english at your age. Were the truth to be told, you certainly have a great deal of wo... (read in full...)
I cant get a divorce! What can I do now?
Q. My husband does not love me. He is searching young girls for long term relationship keeping our marriage as it. He loves my education, property, and background, not me. He always harass me in front of his family and close friends. When I asked for ...
A. 5 September 2011: I am sorry to sound condescending, as I really do not mean this in that light, but if you are a PHD educated individual, you should have enough of a basic understanding of public policy and how the system in your country works to know the answer to ... (read in full...)
Why do certain men have a girlfriend if they're just going to cheat?
Q. Why do certain men have a girlfriend if they're just going to cheat? What's the point in being in a relationship in the first place? I mean the men who have a girlfriend but cheat on her any chance they get. Do you think they do it just because they ...
A. 5 September 2011: There's just as many women out there who behave the same way honey. Please don't fall into the trap of thinking that cheating, even serial cheating is a male dominated phenomenon. In every serious, peer reviewed and controlled study that's been ... (read in full...)
Why not cheat? I am interested in all your ideas and suggestions please
Q. I have been married over 10 years. Before marriage had a very active sex life. As soon as we were married, it became less, and less and kept getting less until it was 3 years. I brought it up to him, then we went to counseling, then I brought it u...
A. 4 September 2011: I've got to agree with your other respondents - if you've tried counseling, and he won't take his medicine, and there's no physical intimacy then you've really got two options.
Option one is to lay it on the line for him, and ask him to allow yo... (read in full...)
Is once a cheater always a cheater applicable to my boyfriend's case?
Q. Ok, I know we've got dozens of posts on the phrase "once a cheater always a cheater" I have always believed this before but now I am trying to open my eyes again to see if I might be wrong. Ok, so here goes my story. My current boyfriend used t...
A. 4 September 2011: "once a cheater always a cheater" is a myth that in its simplicity fails utterly to account for the complexity of the human being. People grow, change, and evolve. Do cheaters often repeat the habit? perhaps. We surely hear the anecdotes... (read in full...)
My Affair of the heart has ended. How do I get over my lover? I've been married 7 years/
Q. I had an affair of the heart. I'm married and have been with my wife for 7 years, and we have a son. There is nothing wrong with our marriage in general, nothing I'm unhappy about. Anyway in February a woman came into my life. She works for t...
A. 4 September 2011: Yes, you're on the right track. It's painful and difficlut now, but this, too, shall pass! In the meantime, you need to direct your thoughts and energy into your marriage and family. Spark up the romance with your wife. Talk to her, laugh wi... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so unhappy and unfulfilled?
Q. I have a good life so why an I so unhappy? I have a great boyfriend, a nice home, great family and friends but I keep dwelling on the things I don't have. Like a better paying job, my Own house, marriage.... So I guess its more money I want. B...
A. 4 September 2011: There is actually a pretty simple, straightforward answer to this. If you get the house, you'll be thrilled, for about a year. If you get the wedding, you'll live in bliss, for about 6 months. If you got a better paying job, you'd live it ... (read in full...)
Guys seem all over me. But I do not dress slutty. Why does this keep on happening to me?
Q. I don't dress slutty nor do I look slutty. But most of guys I meet all say am sexy. I do have nice features and I would say am cute. But of these guys I meet say am sexy and they just come on me so sexually strong. When I go out I wear clothes that ...
A. 4 September 2011: You may well be misinterpreting some of what's coming your way, too. Guys are taught and conditioned that if you don't come on to her in a way that lets her know you're interested physically as well as intellectually, you'll find yourself squarel... (read in full...)
Is it me? Or do I need something? Low testosterone? No pheromones? Would supplements help?
Q. Hi everyone. It's not easy to talk about this but maybe you can help. I'm in my early forties, and all my life I've had almost no luck with women in terms of romance and sex. I had one girlfriend in school, and I've had a few dates over the y...
A. 4 September 2011: If you suspect a genuine chemical inbalance, you should see a physician. A simple blood test will tell you what's going on. I would reccomend VERY powerfully AGAINST supplementing testosterone without the supervision of a doctor! There are a lot ... (read in full...)
Why not cheat? I am interested in all your ideas and suggestions please
Q. I have been married over 10 years. Before marriage had a very active sex life. As soon as we were married, it became less, and less and kept getting less until it was 3 years. I brought it up to him, then we went to counseling, then I brought it u...
A. 4 September 2011: "all I am risking is losing an unsupportive nice guy." No - that's not true at all. You're risking not only losing him, but destroying him. You're also risking incredible depth of despair, agony, and guilt yourself, after you realize the ... (read in full...)
Husband doesn't love me but doesn't want divorce because he wants the property
Q. My husband does not love me. He is searching young girls for long term relationship keeping our marriage as it. He loves my education, property, and background, not me. He always harass me in front of his family and close friends. When I asked for ...
A. 1 September 2011: I would get ahole of a lawyer, good legal counsel is invaluable.... (read in full...)
Our fairytale relationship has lost its spark
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 and a half years now. Since 10th grade, and back then, he was so romantic and wanted nothing more than for me to be his girlfriend. I feel like the start of our relationship, and how we both had crushes on ...
A. 31 August 2011: I'm being lazy and copy-pasting the same thing I had to say to someone else - it seems this same advice needs telling to a lot of folk!
Communication is key!
If one or the other partner is not happy, the marriage will end eventually. Unle... (read in full...)
I don't want to end my 11 year marriage but my wife is not sure. She cheated
Q. i have been married for 11 years to the same women, i have never cheated on her. two months ago our fighting got really bad and i was ask to move out the house. then one night she ask to talk to me, i went over to the house where she told me she ...
A. 31 August 2011: I was in exactly your shoes not too long ago. These books saved my life.
www.womensinfidelity.com
This woman is a genius, and a saint (as well as a devil) for the truths she tells, and the lessons she imparts.
You and your wife owe it to ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating?
Q. I was talking online with a man and we were talking about sex. He described something that reminded me how my husband does things. My husband and I were fighting at the time and I hadn't got off for over a month. Is it cheating that I masterbated ...
A. 31 August 2011: Cheating: Gaining an unfair advantage through force or deception. That definition holds true, even in marriage. Ask yourself this, how would you feel if your husband walked in, saw the conversation, saw what you were doing to yourself, and ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is in jail. What do I do?
Q. I haven't heard from my LDR boyfriend in 12 days. First off I'll tell you a bit about our relationship. We started talking online 5 years ago but we just met and started dating in January of this year. He lives in the US and I live in Canada but we ...
A. 31 August 2011: Honey, I'm sorry, but this guy and his family drama are bad news. You may be truly worried about him and his well being, and for that I commend you. However, it would be better for your own sanity and emotional well being in the long run of you ... (read in full...)
Any advice for someone feeling stuck in a marriage without a sex life?
Q. Have been reading a lot of articles on great sex, oral sex etc that all adds up to that happy life. What's to be said about couples who's sex life isn't so great but are together because of the vows they made. Some people have the zeal to stay no ...
A. 31 August 2011: Communication is key! If one or the other partner is not happy, the marriage will end eventually. Unless the partners discuss the how's and why's of happiness in an honest and frank manner, that ending could get very ugly indeed! It is... (read in full...)
I feel trapped. What should I do? I've had a threesome and my husband does not know.
Q. Hi i'm 32 year old wife and a mom with a kid of 3 years old . I'm feeling confused and trapped with a dilemma all because of my mistakes. Almost 3 months before I met a nice and good looking girls who's 23 years at the gym. We had the same gym ins...
A. 25 August 2011: You're lying to yourself if you think you don't know what to do...
Obviously, you want more, in a sexually speaking manner, than you get with your husband. That's not unusual, lots of people (meaning almost all) want more than one partner.... (read in full...)
I had a great one stand and I want it again. How do I ask him?
Q. Hi, should I contact this guy or not? We hooked up a few weeks ago(a one-night, no-strings-attached thing), and it was the best sexual experience of my life, and I dont want it to be the only time it happens, but how do i go about suggesting we do ...
A. 25 August 2011: Have any of the previous respondants even considered the possibility that she might want to use him for sex? It is entirely plausible that she has more experience than you give her credit for - while not common by any stretch, I've known girls who ... (read in full...)
I'd told him I'd get rid of the baby, but I'm having second thoughts.
Q. Hello. Ive today found out im pregnent the test says 3+ weeks. The thing is the father is my ex who i have slept with once he also has a gf well engaged to he also has a one yr old with her we slwpt together when they where having problams and had ...
A. 2 August 2011: If you want the baby - keep it. An abortion is an incredibly painful (emotionally) experience that you don't want to have to live with if you don't have to. However, if you do keep the baby - cut the guy loose. Make it clear to him that you're g... (read in full...)
Threesome has affected friendship boundaries
Q. A couple of years ago, my good friend and his girlfriend came over to my place one night with the intent of having a 3-some; he thought it would be exciting watching me have sex with his girlfriend, and she was all for it too. Anyway, everything ...
A. 2 August 2011: Dorothy's advice is sound, wise, and right on the money! If you have any respect at all for any of the three people involved, you need to end the behind the back thing permanently. You don't have to make drama over it, hell, you don't even need ... (read in full...)
I feel disgusting and like no one will ever respect me because I've not only had sex, but with more than one person!
Q. I have slept with two guys in my life. Most of my friends haven't even been with one. It's not like I barely knew either guy, I knew both very well and genuinely cared for them. The problem is, being only sixteen, I feel cheap. I wish I could go...
A. 2 August 2011: Honey don't you DARE talk like that about yourself! You made choices. You cared for guys, felt safe and comfortable with them, and became intimate. That's NOT wrong, it's NOT bad, and it DOES NOT make you cheap! This sexual self identity disfunc... (read in full...)
Does playing hard to get work and how can you do it?
Q. hi all can someone please answer this question does a woman playing hard to get with a man she really likes work and how should i go about it? thanks ...
A. 3 July 2011: Don't "play". Not hard to get, nor any other juvinile game. It will not only backfire on you (such games invariably do) but will also display a lack of character and self confidence.
If you like him, take the same advice you would give any guy ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date an 18 year old? She's still a virgin.
Q. I'm 31 and have never gone out with a girl this young. She's 18 but she's quite mature for her age and doesn't look young either. Sometimes I forget she's 18 and feel like I'm speaking with a grown woman. She's not even "really" woman since she ...
A. 7 April 2011: I would only caution you that there is potential trouble for this sort of relationship later - This is not a morality issue, as far as I am concerned, but a lack of foresight issue. When you are in your 40's and thinking about things that m... (read in full...)
Is female cum the same as male cum?
Q. What is a women cum. Is it the same as a man, (when they get excited they "squirt" come)...
A. 7 April 2011: Male semen is (in addition to the aforementioned hormones) also a nutrient mix designed to give the sperm the nutrition and environment thy need to survive long enough to seek an egg. Female secretions are, on the other hand, quite acidic, which ... (read in full...)
We've been together 6 years and he's still wondering if he's interested?
Q. Why do I continue to drive blind? Tonight my Husbman took me to the bar for a drink. After walking inside, this man followed us to the bar proceeding to hit on me while my husbman ordered our drinks; as if I wasn't standing next to my husbman. Im ...
A. 5 March 2011: "However, with various tones of disrespect to my person his actions speak louder than words ever could." Wow, doesn't feel good to know that his actions show you deep and profound disrespect does it? Guess how he feels. You made this bed, ... (read in full...)
Is it all lies? am I supposed to believe it? Can anyone confirm the truth?
Q. is it true that a woman who has been with her partner for a given period, and where he has a small penis, would she get sick of it after a while and wish for a man with a bigger penis ? Because after a while does her vagina get bigger to the poin...
A. 5 March 2011: wake up and smell the coffe beans! of course size matters! Anyone who tells you size doesn't matter is repeating one of the oldest lies the world has ever known, a lie created to placate the ego of very powerful, very rich men in a completely mal... (read in full...)
I have somewhat of an existential crisis. Please help
Q. I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. I recently broke up with my boyfriend for probably the sixth time after finding him have cyber sex with random girls. I want to stay broken up for good, I really do, but it is almost impossible for me ...
A. 5 March 2011: Janniepeg has it right. The only thing I can add is this:
You are absoloutely incapable of loving anyone else, or accepting love from them, until you love yourself. Wholly and completely. Until then, any relationships you could have woud be a mix... (read in full...)
Sick of his lies over smoking, porn, and just everything. What should I do?
Q. Well, where do I start? My boyfriend is constantly lying about everything. About what he's doing and who he is with and smoking and porn. The smoking is not your everyday cigarette, it's pot. And the porn I wouldn't mind so much if he would at least ...
A. 5 March 2011: I could stick up for him for smoking some dope every now and again. I could stick up for him for watching porn too...
However, lying about either - that's another matter. You need o kick this guy to the curb and find yourself a real man who will... (read in full...)
"You are in shape." Translations?
Q. When men eye me they often say: "You're in shape." Sometimes this is said in the context of meeting me on a run or when I'm at the gym. Sometimes it seems they say it with a competitive nuance. However, some men will say this when w...
A. 2 February 2011: "you are in shape" translated to one of two things: 1: I'm into fitness myself. I'm not as in shape as you are. I'm jealous of your mastery of your own health and physique. 2: I wish to hell I could believe that you're not lightyears out of my ... (read in full...)
At what point in a relationship can one justify using the word 'love'?
Q. Hello, a very misleadingly simple question... at what point in a relationship can one justify using 'love' as opposed to the elements of infatuation to describe the mutual feelings between the two involved? As a mere teen-ager, I find the often-used ...
A. 31 January 2011: I commend your astute and eloquently articulated understanding, overly mature though it is for your age, that the word speaks to a concept quite beyond the comprehension of most modern adolescents. In its most basic form, love is most appropriate... (read in full...)
Crying during Sex: What does he feel? What happened to me?
Q. Last night, my boyfriend and I were having sex. We went on round after round til he was so worn out. I still wasn't so I moved his hand to caress me under there. He got into it and started doing something that made me feel soooo good. I felt lik...
A. 31 January 2011: What did he do? I need to know how to do that! Seriously, if he can make you CRY from feeling so GOOD, this is information you need to share with the world. It is your sacred duty to let the technique be passed on and thus ensure the sexual gr... (read in full...)
Fell in love, married, had children, & struggled with monogamy. Now the wife wants to leave. Why are we doing this to our kids?
Q. Is "male nature" setting us back again? No where in the animal kingdom do we see monogamy more prominent as we see it in human nature. Or is monogamy just something woman have come to believe as true? I, like most men, fell in love with a beautifu...
A. 31 January 2011: "male nature" bah!
Human nature!
We do these things to ourselves for a huge variety of reasons. We don't want to rock the boat. We don't want the kids to know. We don't want the kids to have to live through a divorce. We don't want the financi... (read in full...)
Receiving a blowjob from my girlfriend does not feel good to me! Why?
Q. Okay, so my girlfriend and I have been going out for three months. We have a history together and I love her with all of my heart. There's just one problem. To me, it doesn't feel good when she gives me head. She's gotten me off from her hand every ...
A. 31 January 2011: Don't worry about it. I've had some incredible head, from some practiced bj queens, and can't get off that way. Sometimes it's just an interesting sensation, not what I would call erotic, but not exactly uncofmortable either. Sometimes it fee... (read in full...)
I had a miscarriage and am afraid to tell my boyfriend
Q. I was 3 months pregnant and started having really bad tummy pains... My boyfriend, who i live with, said its just something to do with the pregnancy and told me not to worry about it, whilst he was doing his paper round i decided to talk to his mum ...
A. 31 January 2011: I am so sorry for your loss. Please remember that father time can and will heal all wounds, and that you will be happy again. That day is worth suffering today's grief for. If the baby and the pregnancy were all that were keeping him around, then... (read in full...)
He gave me a hug and a kiss, but I think he was wanting more!
Q. heeeey Right i have known this lad for about 7 months now were like friends but you can see their is something more. Anyway he is 19 and i am 16 bit of an age gap but i think thats alright! I always see him out in town (clubs)as i go often and so ...
A. 31 January 2011: Does he want sex? yes. Does he "just" want sex? probably not. Please to make the distinction. If he were after you as just a sexual conquest, he would very likely have made more of a move before now. On the other hand, it's pretty obvio... (read in full...)
I don't want girls to run away because my pubic hair is all over the place?
Q. ok im quite embarrassed abart this but my pubic hair is really long around my genitals and on my bottom. every time i look down there or see my bottom in a mirror it looks very messy and horrible to look at. i don't want to get rid of it all i ...
A. 31 January 2011: get a trimmer with a length guard. The electric kind they use at barbers and hair places. Start with the longest guard or guard setting, and trim. Take it down a little, until the length looks right.
I'm a wookie myself, so I feel your pain, bu... (read in full...)
I have days where I like both guys and girls. Then I have days where I like just girls.
Q. Im only 17 and i dont know if im Straight, Bi or Gay. this can sound weird but i enjoy watching Gay porn, but i wouldnt want to do it in real life, i would only do it if something changes my mind, for years now I've loved this girl and i still li...
A. 31 January 2011: What are you? Easy... YOU'RE HUMAN!!! Take pride in the fact that you are not so homophobic that you admit to being aroused by men enjoying themselves. You may well be what is sometimes called 'bi-curious'. That can take many forms, but you can... (read in full...)
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