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Receiving a blowjob from my girlfriend does not feel good to me! Why?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *ketchyx writes:

Okay, so my girlfriend and I have been going out for three months. We have a history together and I love her with all of my heart. There's just one problem. To me, it doesn't feel good when she gives me head. She's gotten me off from her hand every time, but out of the four times she has attempted to give me head she hasn't even gotten close, like it just doesn't feel that good to me. Is there something wrong with me, or could she just be doing it wrong? Neither of us have had any experience with giving or receiving head so we don't really know what's going on. She's convinced that it's her while I'm convinced that I'm defective and it's really starting to bother me. I'm hoping someone can give me some good advice. Thanks!

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (31 January 2011):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntJust a couple of things to add to the very valid points the other aunts have made -

a) Most effective BJ's involve a combination of hand and mouth

b) A lot of guys can't get off from an oral BJ alone. I've given a lot of BJ's and am considered pretty damn good at it, but I still meet the occassional guy for whom only oral stimulation just doesn't do the job.

c) Maybe her technique isn't quite where it ought to be also. Practising with fingers would help, so would a peeled banana. Is she using her teeth too much? There should be as little tooth as possible.

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A male reader, empty-1 United States +, writes (31 January 2011):

Don't worry about it.

I've had some incredible head, from some practiced bj queens, and can't get off that way. Sometimes it's just an interesting sensation, not what I would call erotic, but not exactly uncofmortable either. Sometimes it feels incredibly good, but won't get an orgasm building, no matter how long we try.

The one time it actually got me over the top took over an hour (the last half of which was the best 30 minutes of my life).

There are just some of us that can't get off that way.

Truth to be told, you may or may not be one of us. If you are, she could be really really good at it, and it wouldn't make a difference.

On the other hand, she may just really suck (forgive the pun) at sucking.

Only way to find out is to get oral from a few sources and compare the experiences. That's not likely a good answer, considering you're in a commited relationship. Thus, the next best thing to do would be to see if she's adverse to the idea of getting some lessons from porn. Don't go for the gagging, slapping, nasty stuff, but the basic pre-intercourse oral technique of most of the manistream porn queens is the way it is because it is damn effective.

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A female reader, just a female New Zealand +, writes (31 January 2011):

just a female agony auntOk well I'm sure not all men can get off with a blow job, but I think most will agree it feels better than using a hand. If you are both inexperienced then that might be the porblem. You are not defective!! So dont think that. If you can finish with her hand then there is nothing wrong with your penis. There's nothing wrong with her either, you both need to just practice and figure out what feels best for you both

xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011):

My younger's sister once had a boyfriend who had the same issue. My sister would try to impress him with a blow job and he would say it would make him feel "uncomfortable" or he felt enjoying it would made him feel like he was taking advantage of her. I think he was also afraid to return sexual favors. Either oral sex made him guilty or he was just kind of grossed out by it.

I'm not sure if that's what your feeling or maybe you're just not into oral yet. It doesn't mean anything's wrong with you though.

My advice it to take turns on each other if you haven't already.

Sometimes, oral sex, even for a woman can be unengaging and distancing because you don't get to look directly at the other person and you don't get to participate as much.

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A female reader, BriBri United States +, writes (30 January 2011):

Well maybe she's not the right girl for you, maybe you need something new, or maybe it is something you don't not be comfortable doing.

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A female reader, Blonde68 United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2011):

Blonde68 agony aunt

Mmmmm, 9 times out of 10 men do cum from receiving a blowjob... its just something most if not all men love a woman to do.

Can you describe how she actually performs the BJ? Is she gripping it enough with her mouth and has a good rhythm going?

However, it isn't just about ramming it in ones mouth and sucking hard with speed. I suggest she lets her hand follow her mouth up and down your penis with a little twist action in her wrist... and then as she reaches the top of your cock, let her hand cup over it and work the hand and the mouth back down again at a nice slow steady pace... doesnt need to be really fast, but she can speed it up as you wish. does that make sense? Also gripping it with her lips as she sucks and wiggling her tongue is good. Oh and tell her not to forget your balls... give them a nice nibble too. haha..

Hope that made some sense.... I have been considered as the BJ queen by men so I hope it works for you too! hehe..

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