His anger problems are tearing us apart...
Q. My bf and I have been together for 3 years collectively now. I've broken up with him before because of his uncontrolled anger problem. He gets angry at the smallest things and then I have to try and calm him down. Usually when he gets angry it ...
A. 31 January 2010: You need to draw this line in iron, and stand on it with a big stick. He needs to know that even coming close to this line hurts more than he is willing to experience.
Leave him. Immediately.
Tell him (in a note would be wise if you are in th... (read in full...)
What's a 69'r???
Q. My boyfriend has recently asked me to perform a 69er with him but I don't know what to do :S please help ...
A. 31 January 2010: look at the shape of the 6 and the 9. Look at the shape of the two of them together, in that order. That shape is a visual illustration of what it means to "69"
It is when you are giving one another oral at the same time. Your face is buried i... (read in full...)
My college room mate asks me to stay elsewhere so she can have men over!
Q. My college roommate has currently started sleeping around. Today she asked me if she would mind me spending the night elsewhere so she can have a boy spend the night with her. I am typically pretty good about giving her the room when she asks for it ...
A. 30 January 2010: If this becomes a persistant problem, tell her yes, and then walk in on them.... (read in full...)
Is true love and romance dead
Q. is true love and romance dead ? is it just becoming a myth a dream that can only exist in ones head ? humans are so horrible to each other its truly disgusting.. this world has become so dark it truly makes you think why are you still here! then ...
A. 30 January 2010: I'm sorry Sarcy, I couldn't disagree more!
Selfless sacrifice and giving, with no thought to onesself is a one way ticket to misery!
Trust me, been there, done that. Wrote the book, made the move, sold the T-shirts!
I spent 10 years marr... (read in full...)
Save your "you are just a kid" speeches
Q. Ok righto. My beautiful girlfriend's mum brewed up a shit storm with a friend of my family. The mum is a hell of a lot less immature than than my love. So after the fact things between my girlfriend, lets call her Ella, and me have been a bit ...
A. 30 January 2010: Caringguy's idea is sound. Solid advice.
I would also like to add, however, that you are not going to gain any favor at all with your girlfriend by seeming to dislike her mother too much.
I am not suggesting that you lie, cover up your fe... (read in full...)
Why did he buy the condoms?
Q. Lets call my boyfriend 'Max' My best friend 'Amber' and 'Ambers' boyfriend 'Sam' - to make things less confusing. Recently I heard from my Sam, that my current boyfriend of a week, max (Sam and max are best-friends so Sam would know) that Max r...
A. 28 January 2010: Hope.
Wishful thinking.
He's a 13 year old boy. That means that there is exactly one thing on his mind, from morning 'till eve, and then it's in his dreams.
He very well may love you a great deal, that doesn't change the biological fact that... (read in full...)
He's been lying to me this whole time. Should I leave him or try to forgive him?
Q. My boyfriend lied to me for THREE YEARS about his porn use. Don't get me wrong, I know he wanks. He's told me so, and he had even shown me the website he used (a very well known free amateur site). Now here's the thing: he told me he didn't like ...
A. 26 January 2010: Men are visual creatures. That's the way we are hard wired. There are shapes to a womans body that we find sexy.
There are, however, a few things that most women don't get.
First, there is the fact that almost any guy will find very "plain... (read in full...)
I think my husband's best friend is attracted to me...
Q. First of all I got married 2 years ago, and I love my husband to death. I am 23 yrs old. I believe my husband´s best friend is attracted to me, or he´s just trying to play some kind of a game thinking that I will fall for it. He is 30, married a...
A. 26 January 2010: She is NOT trying to do any such thing!
Neither does she think her Husband wants her to!
She is seeing signals that her HB's best friend may have an attraction to her, and she is NOT happy about it! Her husband is tructing and oblivious to the... (read in full...)
Question about being the 'chick on the side"...who loses out the most here?
Q. Why do guys always have to have their cake and eat it too? And why am I suddenly the one who is getting used? I never used to be that girl, and here I am, the chick on the side. Is it better to be the chick on the side or the main girl? Either way, ...
A. 25 January 2010: If he's screwing around, and she isn't then the main girl is by far and away getting the worst end of the stick. The chick on the side can't have a bad end of the stick - she doesn't respect herself enough to reach out and grab either end of th... (read in full...)
I think my husband's best friend is attracted to me...
Q. First of all I got married 2 years ago, and I love my husband to death. I am 23 yrs old. I believe my husband´s best friend is attracted to me, or he´s just trying to play some kind of a game thinking that I will fall for it. He is 30, married a...
A. 25 January 2010: I can certainly sympathise with the confusion and doubt that comes around when our hearts begin asking uncomfortable questions and our minds don't have great answers! I wish you the best of luck, and hope your situation turns out better than mine... (read in full...)
Why don't people think about the new dating partner, before undertaking a 'rebound' relationship?
Q. I now know that I was involved in a rebound relationship. It was about 4 months long started off as if it could really be a good investment. As time went on and now with thinking about my ex's behavior it was only a rebound relationship. He ...
A. 25 January 2010: You in essense answered your own questions - "this is a situation that has seem to over power me and I am usually very strong and level headed." This is exactly why people do these things. People as a whole are dumb, panicky, prone to a comple... (read in full...)
Trust issue has cropped up with my bf! Is this a warning sign?
Q. I have trust issues and my boyfriend knows this . Once in a while I go through his messages, a lot of the time he's right next to me when I do this, either not knowing what I'm doing or just not caring. I know that I'm asking for trouble by looking ...
A. 25 January 2010: Don't panic! First, there's a chance that he's just blowing so much smoke to seem macho and cool to his buddy. It's just not that simple for a guy, even a good looking guy, to get into jand random's pants just because she happens to go to the gym... (read in full...)
I want a divorce, my wife is pregnant and I'm having an affair with our neighbour....help!
Q. I am 32 yrs old and have been married for 4 yrs. A year ago we moved to a new town and my wife and I drifted apart. She befriended our neighbours and became close friends with the lady. We would often go to dinners there and I met their now 19 yr ...
A. 25 January 2010: Wow, and I thought the guy that my wife cheated on me with was scum, but buddy - you take the cake! You want to make this mess any better at all? You tell EVERYONE involved. No, don't ask T's permission. Shes 19 for crying out loud! you took a... (read in full...)
I want to wait to have sex with someone special, but my sex drive is through the roof!!!
Q. Im 19 and will be turning 20 pretty soon and ive never had sex and have only been kissed once. It isn't that i want to rush sex or anything and i don't want to do it for the sake of it but at times its very tempting because at my age my sex drive is ...
A. 23 January 2010: Ben there - I feel for ya
I can tell you, though, that you are absoloutely right, that just hopping in the sack for the sake of doing so is not likely to be at all helpful.
Even if you aren't an emotional mess afterwards (I was) it won't ke... (read in full...)
I think my husband's best friend is attracted to me...
Q. First of all I got married 2 years ago, and I love my husband to death. I am 23 yrs old. I believe my husband´s best friend is attracted to me, or he´s just trying to play some kind of a game thinking that I will fall for it. He is 30, married a...
A. 23 January 2010: Herin lies the problem - "Then I can talk to my husband"
Honey, you're married. You gave over a portion of your identity to him every bit as much as he did to you. If you want your marriage to flourish and grow and thrive to its fullest and most... (read in full...)
Can I love her if I don't find her sexy? How will it work without sex?
Q. ok guys there is this girl i think i love her, everything so damn great when im near her, its so fun when we are together. i feel that shes the i want to live with forever. but the problem is, i dont find her sexy at all. is this really l...
A. 23 January 2010: Love - possibly. Only you can truly be the judge of that. I would caution you to be careful and patient with that judgement, but so far you seem to be doink ok in that department.
What it isn't, however, is lust. Don't confuse the two, as so many ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this married man setup I have?
Q. hi everyone! my ugly situation that im facing right now is that im 24 and im dating this married man that is suppossely 34 but, only God knows if he is telling me the truth or not. i have known this man since Sept of 2009 he was a trainer at the gym ...
A. 20 January 2010: You want a real soloution? One you can be proud of? Go to his home and tell his wife what you've been doing. Hand her a big knife, get down on your knees and offer her your life in recompense for the horrific agony you have already caused her, that ... (read in full...)
I would love to make this relationship work, especially after my last one didn't.
Q. If you got into a relationship about 1 month after your break up with an ex... you've been in a new one for about 3/4 months... and your committed to making it work JUST BECAUSE your old one didn't and you want this new relationship to be perfect. ...
A. 20 January 2010: This is called rebounding. The relationship is called a rebound relationship. Painful as this fact may be, they have a very low incidence of success, long term.
... (read in full...)
After 4 months of marriage, my husband is no longer physically attracted to me...
Q. My husband and I met almost three years ago. At first the sex was amazing; he was insatiable and couldn't get enough of me. After three months though, he stopped wanting me. I tried lingerie, candles, everything I could think of and yet we still ...
A. 20 January 2010: Good answers from various sides of the issues from all of the respondants thus far. Just wanted to add some thoughts;
Like Roadster says, there's a great deal of attraction that is in the mind. If he feels like he's not a high enough prio... (read in full...)
What do you do when you really like someone but you can't tell them?
Q. what do you do when you really like someone but you cant tell them. please dont say just forget because i cant. this guy started my job a few months ago and ever since day one ive had a major crush on him. i like everything about him. the weird th...
A. 31 December 2009: Right now, he needs a friend!
He's going through a divorce! This is not an easy time for anyone, and if you feel that strongly for him, then it should be easy for you to just be a close friend for now, knowing that in the fullness of time, wh... (read in full...)
I don't like my husband's best friend
Q. So my husbands best freind is somebody who I dont care for. When i first met him, he bragged about how he was cheating on his girfriend to me and my husband. So I dont HATE him, I just wouldnt trust him if i were a girl. Well he has a fiance now ...
A. 31 December 2009: "confront him" no. Talk to him about it - yes. Explain gently to him that you are hurting and feeling insecure, and that you need for him to cut off contact with this woman. He is your husband, and needs to have enough respect for you and your pai... (read in full...)
How do I find a good strong man?
Q. How can I find a good, emotionally strong man for a shoulder to cry on, hold me, listen, etc? I'm 5oish woman in southern California, USA....
A. 31 December 2009: My dear lady, if this were a question that could be answered so simply as for the asking, the number of relational problems in the world wouldn't be so great as to necessitate things like DearCupid.com!... (read in full...)
I don't like the person I've become since I've gotten married
Q. Let me set the stage for anyone who's reading: I've been married for 10 years with children. My wife and I got married at a very young age because of our first child or should I say, I married my wife because of our first child. After that...
A. 31 December 2009: You could do that - and likely fail. Has it occurred to you that it is possible she may have had an affair? She may feel much the same way about you as you do her? She may not want to be complacent and contained? It is entirely possible to fal... (read in full...)
What deos it me when a guy says he doesn't want a relationship?
Q. ive been talking to this guy i met on plenty of fish.. on his profile it says hes looking for dating.. he calls me alot even though hes on holiday.. he have good conversations and make eachother laugh.. but he says hdoesn'tnt want a relations...
A. 31 December 2009: Honey, this guy has done you a big favor - he told you up front that you shouldn't get too hooked! If he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, then he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Just because he is "looking for dat... (read in full...)
How can I guild up my self confidence from within this relationship?
Q. I have placed quite a few questions here and have had some very good advice and observations from the kind people who have replied. Unfortunately my continued postings here have frustrated some people as most have said the same thing: That I should ...
A. 31 December 2009: Your situation is a difficult one, but I think that it sounds as if you have been given some very solid advice, and have been unable or unwilling to act on it. I have some theories as to why. You feel very strongly for this girl, but have lost al... (read in full...)
I don't think my wife loves him, but I know he loves her!
Q. I not happy with my wife. i got married one year back. i love her very much but she is not. the starting month of after marriage we were happy. after that we stated conversation. because of recession am not get increment. i was in big problem. it ...
A. 31 December 2009: Your wife chose YOU. If her friendship with this other man makes you feel threatened, disrespected, or suspicious, find a way to gently tell her so, and ask her to cut down on her contact with him. Explain to her how you feel, and be ready to list... (read in full...)
I just found out that he has a girlfriend, I'm distraught, what should I do?
Q. Ive been talking to this guy from ireland on msn for about 7 months and im really in love with him. He told me he really wants to come see me and that hes saving up to see me. I never btw pushed him to come visit me it was all him and his idea. I ...
A. 31 December 2009: No - you are not nuts, crazy, or stupid. Maybe a little naive, but you're young enough that you can afford that! This man treated you poorly, but to be honest, he very well may have a very reasonable story. It is entirely possible that he had... (read in full...)
How can I feel like a martyr because my married lover makes me feel misled and used
Q. Dear Cupid, I am very confused and I need your advices. I am with an online relationship for 3 yrs, and I met a senior married man of 65 and I am 34 separated woman. I know it is wrong to involve myself to a married man but I just couldnt r...
A. 17 December 2009: This is exactly what you get for getting involved with a married man.
Frankly, it's also what you deserve.
So you got involved with a married man, and are now getting the heartache you deserve...
Where's the problem?... (read in full...)
How much do guys think about sex?
Q. Hi, I've had a question on my mind for some time now. I was wondering how much do guys really think about sex? I've heard from some of my guy friends that they think about it all the time. Is that true? How much of your time is spent thinking about ...
A. 17 December 2009: I would say that, personally, it's calmed down now that I only think about sex 2-3 times an hour, but I'm 30 now, not as young as I used to be.
There was a survey (I wish I could find it, it was rather extensive, but not comprehensive) that fou... (read in full...)
Price isn't important, I don't know what to get him as a gift!
Q. My relationship lasts about two months and now Christmas is coming and my boyfriend`s birthday (in January) but I still haven`t any idea what to give him. Presents for sisters, friends, parents etc are so easily to fing, but I don`t know my ...
A. 15 December 2009: Damn, girl, if price really isn't imp[ortant, and you can give as mucgh as is needed, then hell, why not go all out and get him a Porsche?!?!?? On a more serious note, if you really want it to be something special, then MAKE it!!! MY wife... (read in full...)
I feel my daughter is being left out - what do I do?
Q. My daughter is in fifth grade and is one of four girls. Two are very cliquish and are practically glued together. Buddying up with the other one is not an option as the other girl is more interested in fitting in with the two who are very ...
A. 13 December 2009: Gotta agree with Aunty
As a father, I have to admit that watching one of my children (I have three) go through some of the trials and challenges of growing up can be painful.
Often, we remember those very challenges, and how deeply they cut ... (read in full...)
We met during troubled times and split, but now we are dating like a normal couple
Q. My ex and I broke up 6 months ago. We started out in a wrong way both our marriages were ending when we met. I was in an abusive marriage . He was and his now exwife had been living as roommates for 3 years ( his ex wife told me this herself, said ...
A. 13 December 2009: CAN it work out? yes. Is it likely, no.
It will take a great deal of commitment, transparency, and communication on both of your parts. The old "once a cheater always a cheater" mantra isn't exactly correct. Often, but not always.
Being patient... (read in full...)
He is making my drinking an issue, and says he cant trust me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over nine months, and just recently my drinking has begun to cause problems. One I start, I cannot stop and I have said and done hurtful things to him in the past when I was under the influence. Jut ...
A. 13 December 2009: Honey you got a problem!
You said a bunch of things that you really REALLY need to look at:
1: I have said and done hurtful things to him in the past when I was under the influence.
- This is a major red flag all by itself! However, in t... (read in full...)
Could it be all he wants is sex?
Q. My fiance has asked me like once or twice if we were to ever break up could we be "Friends with Benefits". Why would he ask me this? What am I supposed to say? He says if we were to ever break up he would not come back to me, and he's also said that ...
A. 13 December 2009: I would answer the same as Gina, but for different reasons.
I ask my wife weird questions all the time. Almost all of the time, thry are hypotheticals, you know the "what if" of "if this, then maybe that?" sort of questions.
Some of them ... (read in full...)
The way my bf acts around other girls...really hurts me! What can I do?
Q. I have been with my fiance for 1 year now and i have tried to tell him that the way he acts around other girls makes me feel like he doesnt care how i feel or if it hurts me but he does it anyways, what am i supposed to do? I love him and i dont ...
A. 13 December 2009: This is one of those sorts of issues we all tend to make some pretty basic mistakes with when we're young. You refer to him as your Finace', and so I assume we're hearing the echos of wedding bells coming down the line.
Were I you, I would pu... (read in full...)
He gets really quiet when I ask him why he doesn't like sex!?
Q. My boyfriend and I (24, 23) have been together for around 3 months. He tells me he is crazy about me and it shows with how he treats me. Really loving, really gentle and affectionate and cute and sweet all at the same time. We spend a lot of time ...
A. 13 December 2009: I would suggest that you tread carefully. It is entirely possible that he either has had some very bad experiences with sex with his previous relationships, or was abused as an adolescent / child by an adult he trusted.
Not that this is necessar... (read in full...)
Is it possible to fulfill his fantasy but keep him out of it?
Q. Dear Cupid. I have been in a relationship with a wounderful man, I love him very much. We should have met years ago! He is very much into women. matter of fact he makes comments often. i say he is infatuated. That is ok to a point, sure I te...
A. 28 October 2009: I would suggest that he very well may have a similar problem with seeing you with another person. Fantasy sometimes is just that, fantasy, and not meant to become reality.
If you could handle being with someone else in front of him, and he could... (read in full...)
Did I do the appropriate thing by telling the truth?
Q. Hey Agony Aunts! Well, I have this serious problem. I am involved with two girls, but they don't know that I am with both of them. One of the girls is more secretive and has hide a lot of things from me(even though she was a very nice girl), while ...
A. 17 October 2009: Gotta agree with Grimm. Truth works in ways that nothing else will. Sure, it can be difficult, unpleasant, and even downright painful. However, any issue in which the truth could cause pain, believe me, from experience I know that lies will only ... (read in full...)
Lost in Love: cheating on boyfriend with married man!
Q. I love two wonderful men that love but one is married and he always says that he wants to be with me, but it is so hard to forget him. i find myself always going back to the spot with him on the other hand i live with a wonderful person. he loves ...
A. 15 October 2009: You cannot simultaneously be in love with someone and help them cheat! This married man took a solemn oath, one that he meant with all his heart when he took it. He gathered friends, family, and all sundry to witness him take that oath before an o... (read in full...)
I'm too embarrassed to show my face to his brothers in case they think I am a boyfriend stealing whore!
Q. so me and this friend of mine started hooking up... at the time he had told me he had broken up with his girl.... so we went out lunch , ice cream walk on the beach.... we start having sex .... so one day idk how but i found out he was still...
A. 15 October 2009: You know what Emily... I am a man and I don't have huge double standards. Further, if I had a brother who behaved like that I'd slap him around for ruining the family name. Take your sexist crap and stuff it. It's the same hateful shit slinging th... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this abusive situation?
Q. ok so ive been with my boyfriend for about 18 months. we have a 6 week old daughter together. he has: called me every name you could imagine - slut, whore, bitch, skank.. etc. has compared me to his ex girlfriend stating how she was so much more...
A. 13 October 2009: dissappear. make any arrangements you need to ahead of time. Have a letter to tho police ready to drop off at the police stations, both where you are and wherever you will go. put clothing and food away where you will be able to grab it on a... (read in full...)
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