A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A couple of years ago, my good friend and his girlfriend came over to my place one night with the intent of having a 3-some; he thought it would be exciting watching me have sex with his girlfriend, and she was all for it too. Anyway, everything went really well, but it went so well that we actually started to develop a strong connection. She began calling me out of the blue a couple of times a week with the conversation always ending up with veiled overtures and innocuous sex talk.As the years went by, there were several additional adventures between the three of us, and what I always found peculiar is that the chemistry between her and me during these encounters was so much more intense than what she had with him; he almost seemed oblivious to the whole thing and wanted her to have a good time, but he was also aware of the strong chemistry brewing between her and me, resulting in many arguments between the two over the years.Fast forward till now. They have since tied the knot, but as you have probably surmised by now, yes, we did started having sex behind his back, and he has always suspected that something might be up, although he has never confronted me about it. I have told him on numerous occasions that she calls me often; she has told him flat out that she was meeting up with me...weird, right? I felt so bad about what we did...I had a tough time dealing with it and became very anxious.They were pretty adventurous sexually in the past, but they're a family now. She's going to come on to me again..I just know it...what should I do?? We're all really good friends; however, the boundaries have been shattered! I'm confused because he should have never put up with the two of us being friends knowing how much we like each other, especially after all those threesomes...
View related questions:
threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (4 August 2011):
Hello again. It's probably wiser for you to be respectful towards your mate's wife if she does approach you again, but politely say "No" to any more secret meetings for sex.
Just be honest with her, and say to her that you just don't feel right about it any more, and that you wouldn't like it if it was done to you.
Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI totally agree with all of you and I appreciate your feedback; it's just really hard when you're in that nebulous zone. You get the okay to do it one day, then not, followed by tacit approval and encouragement to go "take care of her".
I initially resisted the temptation to partake in these adventurous liaisons when they pursued me, because I had this hunch that once we crossed those boundaries that it would be hard to deal with. We haven't done anything for a very long time now, so I think I'm fine if she tries to initiate anything this time around.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): to me you seem like a taker and a user who knows no loyalty to anyone, least of all your best friend.
if you want to show that you have matured and want to change as a person, then you need to stop screwing your friends wife. thats it- plain and simple
........any anyways why would you want a woman who is morally corrupt and has no clue what respect and fidelity is.
bottom line: you are just as bad as the married woman who betrays her hb. YOU can put a stop to this mess if you so choose.
perhaps deep down you do have a conscious after all and therefore you know what you need to do.
LoveGirl
...............................
A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (2 August 2011):
Don't you want more from your life, than sleeping with your mates wife? Like, your own relationship and woman?
Your friend is such a loser for sharing his partner with you. But this is about you, not him.
If you feel that something is wrong, then do something about it. Stop acting so weak - be a man - as in, get in control of what you know is right, and what you want in life. You say you are all good friends, stop being so naive, your friendship is based on one huge lie, a lie that could result in at least one person feeling their life has been completely ruined forever. Stop being so gutless and get some respect for yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 If your friendship means anything to you stop sleeping with his wife. Put your foot down, looks like you not married. Find someone, anyone just leave her alone. Be rude to her if that'll do it. Threesomes have always, always been a bad idea.
...............................
A
male
reader, empty-1  +, writes (2 August 2011):
Dorothy's advice is sound, wise, and right on the money!If you have any respect at all for any of the three people involved, you need to end the behind the back thing permanently. You don't have to make drama over it, hell, you don't even need to tell her. Just don't screw around with his wife while he's not there to approve, or withdraw his consent.You are, of course, learning the hard way about some of the messy complications frequently accompanying a threesome situation, but of you can navigate those complications with deliberate forethought, and maintain respectful behavior for yourself, your friend, and his wife, then perhapse you can continue to engage in the occasional three way fun with them when you are invited. However, the situation you are currently concerned about is the result of NOT navigating with deliberate forethought.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (2 August 2011):
Hi there. You can't change history, so you do have to accept it.
You have to ask the question, can you live with yourself having sex with your mate's wife behind his back?
You are having issues with it, because you wouldn't have visited Dear Cupid to ask for advice. So it is apparently getting to you, isn't it?
She cheats on you with her husband, then she cheats on him with you! You are both sharing. Surely you deserve better than that.
You'd be better off finding a partner who you could call your own, and not have to share.
Threesomes are big trouble. Perhaps fun at the time, but with many repercussions and serious trust issues after it.
It's not really worth the trouble it causes.
You are probably better off to distance yourself from his wife and if she calls you, don't be rude, but keep it very short and say you have to go somewhere and end the conversation soon after.
The point I'm making here, is don't put yourself in the situation where you are tempted to meet up with her behind his back.
If if it was you in that situation, married to her, you wouldn't like it if she was going off having sex with your best mate all the time behind your back, and calling him as well.
You deserve better than that.
He probably does know what's happening, but doesn't know how to stop it. So he tries to pretend it isn't happening - and that's how he copes. He needs to take a stand on it, one way or another. And soon.
This whole situation is a great big mess.
...............................
|
