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Guys seem all over me. But I do not dress slutty. Why does this keep on happening to me?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *pendy writes:

I don't dress slutty nor do I look slutty. But most of guys I meet all say am sexy. I do have nice features and I would say am cute. But of these guys I meet say am sexy and they just come on me so sexually strong. When I go out I wear clothes that covers me up. I don't even show cleavage.

I'd meet a guy and we'd hit it off but he'd just end up wanting to get in my pants amd it'd turn me off and I'd cut him loose.

Is it me? My girlfriends call me sexy as well. But I don't dress sexy or anything like that.

Why do guys keep coming on to me so strongly? Maybe I come off as a slut.

I don't think so. I look cute. I won't say sexy. But guys can't stop calling me sexy.

I want a bf not a guy who just want me for my body. It keeps happening. I've given up on guys:(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011):

I agree, that you do not need to show a lot of skin to be sexy, and in fact i sometimes find it sexier when someone isn't blantantly showing you every ounce of their body, as you generally see here walking around the bars on a Friday and Saturday night.

I find a girl very sexy and she is average height and has a beautiful face and eyes, smile and demeanour.

It could be any part of you, or a combination of a number of things.

Please don't give up on guys ;) !

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A male reader, empty-1 United States +, writes (4 September 2011):

You may well be misinterpreting some of what's coming your way, too.

Guys are taught and conditioned that if you don't come on to her in a way that lets her know you're interested physically as well as intellectually, you'll find yourself squarely in the "friend zone" and you'll never be boyfriend material.

Just 'cause a guy wants to sleep with you, that does NOT mean that sex is -ALL- he's after!!!

Truth be told, if this is your experience so far, you can count on it being part of your life for a long time. Find a guy you like, someone you find attractive, interesting, and fun to be around, and give him a shot! Ask him out! Go on a couple of dates, and see if things go well.

If you lose some of your preoccupation with sex and the interest guys seem to have in it, and enjoy having a relationship, then he'll chill after a short while! Don't put up with him pressuring you, but don't be a bitch about it either. If he hints strongly that he wants more, let him know firmly, but kindly, that you're not ready to take your relationship to that level yet. If he keeps pushing before you're ready, he's not the guy for you.

I think, however, that if you give a couple of guys a good shot, you'll find that most are more than happy to let you take the lead and set the pace!

"I want a bf not a guy who just want me for my body. It keeps happening. I've given up on guys:("

I'm sorry if that's the way you feel right now, but consider this: Men are VERY visual creatures. We aren't likely to be very interested in a woman (in a romantic sense) if we aren't physically attracted to her first. Sure, there are exceptions, but truth be told, most relationships start because he was attracted to her looks. That does NOT mean that he ONLY wants her for her body. That means that he's not going to give a lot of time and consideration to chasing and forming a relationship with someone if he knows from the outset that the physical portion of the relationship is doomed.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (4 September 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntWho knows? If everyone keeps calling you sexy then it must be true.

You don't have to show skin in order to be sexy. Perhaps you carry yourself well and with confidence. Guys find that sexy.

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