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... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
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| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
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Advice needed, please? Would my subsequent actions be enough for me to get pregnant?
Q. So today I hooked up with this guy and we had oral sex. We didn't have sex. Everything was fine, he ate me and I sucked him till he came on my chest. When we ended, I might have gotten some semen on my fingers since it got on my shirt too, but I ...
A. 3 May 2016: I would say . . . not. However going forward, get yourself onto some form of birth control and practice safe sex at all times. Prevention is better than cure..... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't have respect for my religious beliefs!
Q. Hi Dear Cupid! I have been dating this wonderful guy for about 8 months now and I am worried about one thing . . . . he doesn't respect my religious beliefs. He says he's not an atheist, but he also says he doesn't really believe in anythi...
A. 3 May 2016: Maybe love conquers all but like opposing political views, his lack of respect for your religion will come back to bite you in the backside sometime down the line. I always say that politics and religion are two rather touchy subjects and if you ... (read in full...)
I feel so ugly that I cry myself to sleep!
Q. I need advice , I'm 21 and im getting married in 5 weeks and I feel so incredibly ugly. I have very low confidence to a stage where i can't get out of a car unless there is no one there and I cant seem to get rid of this feeling. I have never felt ...
A. 3 May 2016: Darling, you need to see your GP then get a referal to a psychiatrist that can diagnose you and then speak to a psychologist because it sounds as though you have a mixture of social anxiety and clinical depression. You need to see to this right away ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to screen out women as potential partners due to their past sexual history and how many partners they have had?
Q. I spent a lot of my teens having low self-esteem and have very little dating experience. I had a girlfriend in high school. Still a virgin even though I have done everything else. I used a lot of that time to make sure I have an amazing future and ...
A. 3 May 2016: I don't think that its wrong but I do however think that the reasons you'd be doing it for is completely wrong. If you screened a girl based on how many sex partners she had because you worry that she may be at a greater risk of carrying an std of ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about this? He keeps in touch with each ex. But now he wants to have lunch with his ex
Q. Hello everyone, Please help me out. I've been going out with my bf for 8months. He is slightly older and we met online. Before we met and started a relationship, we chatted quite a bit online. During this time he met up with his ex and they slep...
A. 3 May 2016: As so_very_confused suggested,why not ask If you can go along too? Just to meet her because surely it shouldn't be a problem if their relationship is strictly platonic . . . ... (read in full...)
Did he just need some time for himself? Or was my Bf trying to create distance between us?
Q. Would you be upset with your long time BF if you just spent two weeks on vacation and the last two days you had together when you got back back home he did not stay at your place? Instead he went back to his for some "me" time? He could have s...
A. 3 May 2016: I'd also want some space if I were him. That isn't a bad thing. On one hand it could be (if he felt smothered and is second guessing your relationship) and on the other it could just be him giving himself a chance to miss you (and bounce back better ... (read in full...)
Worried he just wants to use me and dump me. Which test can I give him to confirn if his love for me is real?
Q. I'm 25yrs old and my man is 32yrs old. We have been dating more than one year. He lives close to our neighbourhood before he relocated to another place. He is caring,loving,hardworking but he is a nagging type at times and complains that i'm too p...
A. 3 May 2016: Just the fact that you feel like you need to test him (number 1) and visit him with someone chaperoning (number 2) suggests that you shouldn't be with this guy at all. My advice would be to move on because this seems all so wrong to me . . . ... (read in full...)
If you've already had sex, then which do you think is better - Affection or Sex?
Q. I don't think I want to have sex. I thought I did and I was getting ready to lose my v card soon. But every time I think about sex...I'd say ninety percent of the reason I'd have it is because the guy wants it. I know it sounds stereotypical bu...
A. 3 May 2016: Preferably both together are great but it depends on what type of a person you are whether you prefer one as opposed to the other. Some people think that affection is overrated while others think that sex is. Personally though, I'd say when they ... (read in full...)
Why do low-income families go on to have more children when it's hard to make ends meet?
Q. Just curious, as I see tons of family's that have sometimes 4 or more children, yet have an extremely small income. You'd think it'd be the opposite, because the low-income families have neither the time nor the money to properly care for these ...
A. 3 May 2016: In poorer areas it's mostly due to a lack of education and affordability of contraception that are the main factors which means that children are had as an alternative to getting off your arse and finding a job. Sorry to put it so blunt. Other ... (read in full...)
Can he change? There's good and bad.
Q. Married five years. With the exception of my pregnancy, my husband has emotionally and physically abused me the entire time. He talks down to me and expects everything in the house to be done his way from meals to laundry. When I do something wrong ...
A. 3 May 2016: People who are always abusing their spouse more often than not don't change. I've seen it in so many marriages. Chances are that if you just allow him back he's promises will go flying out the window and he'll be back to his old terrible behaviour. ... (read in full...)
Our long distance relationship is a struggle! Advice?
Q. My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I love her to absolute death, but there are two major problems. Number one is the fact that long distance relationships are already sexually frustrating, but she isn't even interested or ready ...
A. 3 May 2016: I'm going to be truthful here. I too am in a long distance relationship but given my age and well the fact that both my partner and I work and have arrangements for accommodation and such, it works out perfectly and isn't put under the strain that ... (read in full...)
Our long distance relationship is a struggle! Advice?
Q. My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I love her to absolute death, but there are two major problems. Number one is the fact that long distance relationships are already sexually frustrating, but she isn't even interested or ready ...
A. 3 May 2016: I'm going to be truthful here. I too am in a long distance relationship but given my age and well the fact that both my partner and I work and have arrangements for accommodation and such, it works out perfectly and isn't put under the strain that ... (read in full...)
Our long distance relationship is a struggle! Advice?
Q. My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I love her to absolute death, but there are two major problems. Number one is the fact that long distance relationships are already sexually frustrating, but she isn't even interested or ready ...
A. 3 May 2016: I'm going to be truthful here. I too am in a long distance relationship but given my age and well the fact that both my partner and I work and have arrangements for accommodation and such, it works out perfectly and isn't put under the strain that ... (read in full...)
What do women think of very hairy guys?
Q. What do women think of very hairy guys? Is it a turn off and a major deal breaker when a guy is very hairy on his body? Be honest....
A. 3 May 2016: Personally I like facial hair, arm hair, leg hair, chest hair, lower back hair, stomach hair on a guy. It's also nice if he isn't clean shaven down there but it must be clean and maintained obviously. There's just something about hair on a guy that ... (read in full...)
Is it morally wrong, and selfish on my part to tell him how I feel, and tear him away from this woman?
Q. I dated a slightly older man for about a year and half until I left to finish my college education. We had decided to break what we had off since we weren't keen on the idea of a long distance relation ship and we had different goals to focus on...
A. 8 April 2016: Let me start off by saying that I think that You're quite intimidated by this other woman in a way and that's because she stands to get what you wanted but were too afraid to take hold of when you had the chance. There may be a part of you that's ... (read in full...)
What would keep you from being in a relationship?
Q. What's up guys, I've been away from here for almost a year but I've had something on my mind for quite a while that I'd like to here people's opinions on why they don't want to get into relationships. I've heard this from a large number of my fri...
A. 8 April 2016: The thing that would keep me from getting into a relationship and actually had previously kept me out of a relationship would be not being ready to offer someone the deepest parts of myself because I either don't think that that particular person ... (read in full...)
She never checked his social media or snooped around, now I want to expose him! What do you think of my plan?
Q. My best friend has been seeing someone for the past 3 years and was starting to fall for him. I did a bit of snooping on his social media and found that he's been with a girl for over a year now. My friend trusted this guy 100%, so she never ...
A. 8 April 2016: I may seem a bit mean by saying this but I honestly wouldn't bother. you've already done what needed to be done and that was warn your friend. I get where you're coming from, I honestly do but I'd just focus on my friend instead of the other woman. ... (read in full...)
Am I in a position to help her? or should others advise her instead?
Q. I'm having a moral dilemma, me and my exgf broke up over a year ago, a few months ago we decided to be friends again since we shared the same group of friends. So I'm dating my current girlfriend for over 3 months now, I've made an effort for my c...
A. 8 April 2016: If I were in a similar situation, I'd warn her of the guy but leave her to make her own decision on whether or not she still wants to be with him. I feel as though as a friend, yes there's sort of an obligation to her in a sense of warning her, but ... (read in full...)
What would be the easiest way to get rid of my feelings for her?
Q. I'm looking for the easiest way to get rid of feelings for someone. I'm in a very odd situation with a girl that I know. Basically we started out as fwb, it messed up when I wanted more but she said she wasn't ready for a relationship aft...
A. 8 April 2016: Honestly speaking, you can't want her out of your mind while still having her be a part of your life. That's the plain and simple truth. Also, sleeping around is just your way of trying to fill the empty spaces with a different sort of air . . . if ... (read in full...)
I found naked pics of my boyfriends ex girlfriend on his laptop!
Q. Ok I'm so embarrassed about this situation. Here's the story. Not too long ago I accidentally came across my boyfriend's pornography on his laptop. I swear it was an accident although some people may not believe me. Anyway, I don't care about that ...
A. 14 August 2014: Honestly, confront him and sort this out. You'll never know his reasoning and/or EXCUSE if you don't confront him. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I know he's cheating on me, why won't he admit it?
Q. I know hes cheating on me ive been told by so many people and his friends its apparently been going on since dec when he moved to b closer to his brothers I've always given him the chance to tell me himself ive dropped hints with suff like if u lik...
A. 14 August 2014: To hell with him admitting it! Why won't you leave!?! That's the real question here. I won't go on and on as I know I certainly can and find myself doing a lot with situations like yours but honestly speaking; you've got to show some self respect ... (read in full...)
How do I get over such a disapointing proposal? Why don't I feel so happy inside when he is the love of my life?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are together 1 year and 6 months. He proposed to me 3 days ago and it was very unexpected. He just texted me did I wanna go for a drive and I said ok. We went to the beach and I didnt want to get out as i looked like a mess ...
A. 14 August 2014: You've totally been set up to have high expectations. Why would everyone speak of paris and Italy knowing you guys have no money. That's so sad that you actually expected a proposal that large and didn't get it. So sorry about that but let me speak ... (read in full...)
Can you cheat in an open relationship?
Q. So I've been in a long term relationship with my partner for the past 9 years. We talk about having children one day and getting married and we already own a home together. We have an extremely happy and healthy relationship and are very open and ...
A. 14 August 2014: He is getting the most out of this semi-open relationship than you're getting and you're realizing that it isn't really as amazing as it once seemed. All of this seems a bit ridiculous to me because why should your partner get to call all the shots ... (read in full...)
At 26 is it wierd to count a 18 yr old as a friend?
Q. Now this maybe a over thinking question but just to check. I worked with a girl over the past year and well I didn’t think anything of it but we really got on well and seemed to have a laugh. Anyway now she has got another Job and we don’t...
A. 12 August 2014: It's not weird. It's weird if you over-think it to the point that you make yourself feel like it's weird.... (read in full...)
How important do you think political opinions are in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, I'm looking for some opinions on how important you think political opinions are in a relationship? As I'm sure many of you know, Scotland are about to go through an independence referendum. This whole thing has completely divided the coun...
A. 12 August 2014: Personally, I don't care much for politics so I don't really engage in such discussions, it's all a time waster to me however, in a relationship especially if two people have opposing views it can fuel a good few arguments and disagreements here and ... (read in full...)
How do I confront him about his lies?
Q. Im 21, nearly 22, and have been getting to know this guy since May, but have been speaking since February. We were both at university (far apart) so we used to Skype every day, talk on the phone for hours and text throughout the day for 3 months...
A. 11 August 2014: What exactly is it that you want? You guys aren't exclusive which I'm not using as an excuse for his behavior because he's wrong, bottom line. I don't see much that you can do here. The two of you aren't an official couple, you're basically FWB's ... (read in full...)
Why is my sister's age such a big deal in her achievement and success?
Q. My sister is 23 and everyone is going on about how amazing her success is, please help me see why it's so impressive!!? She left home at 20, and moved to Paris to work in fashion, since she felt this is where her career was and would benefit he...
A. 9 August 2014: Believe me, it's impressive. Especially since at her age, she's making it in fashion! The fashion industry is incredibly difficult to make it in. Most people don't make it in this field because it's so demanding and there are so many other people ... (read in full...)
If you keep your partner very sexually satisfied. does that make them less likely to look at or fantasize about other girls?
Q. My boyfriend has a few good looking female friends. He has ample opportunity to cheat but I don't think he would. I was just wondering, if you keep your partner very sexually satisfied does that make them less likely to look at other girls or ...
A. 9 August 2014: The truth is that even though you may keep your partner sexually satisfied, it may or may not keep their eyes from wondering, even their minds. That is just the way it seems to be. You have, in all seriousness, no control over what/who your partner ... (read in full...)
Our religious views arent the same. Do I end things now?
Q. Hi guys, I'm hoping that someone can help me make sense and see things from an outside of the box perspective. I don't really have anyone to discuss these issues with an feel so alone trying to find a solution. Here goes.. I met this guy onlin...
A. 8 August 2014: If your religion is very important to you which it is then perhaps this guy really isn't for you. Especially since he has a bit of an attitude which is understandable after the few weeks you've been friendly. It would be better to move on now than ... (read in full...)
I don't deserve my boyfriend
Q. OK..Here's the deal I am really not sure I deserve my boyfriend of 4.5 years. I love him so much, but a while back we went through a rough patch, and I never cheated on him, but I probably did behave a little promiscuously when Ive been out, an...
A. 8 August 2014: All of that doesn't mean that you don't deserve him. You have a conscience and didn't cheat on him and when you spoke to him about your behavior (which he answered to very chilled) he showed that he loves and cares about you. It didn't bother him ... (read in full...)
How can I show my parents that this once bad boy is now a nice sweet guy ?
Q. Please help!!! I need some advice on introducing my bf to my parents / family. My father is a judge and my mother is nurse. I grew up In a very privilege family. Both of my grandfathers were judges and my family is very well respected in our town...
A. 8 August 2014: The only way to SHOW THEM how nice he is, is by letting them see it for themselves. Let them be around him, talk to him and spend time with him. They're bound to see what it is that you see in him if they see it firsthand. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I am addicted to shopping!
Q. I have always been an impulsive person, and for quite some time now, I have been spending money like there is no tomorrow. I am buying things very impulsively when realistically I can't afford to. But in the moment, I don't care, its like I "need...
A. 8 August 2014: There is a real problem. You have an addiction which is just as serious as drug additions and alcohol addictions . . . Basically any other addition which is often seen as much worse. The truth is, everyone with an addition is on the same level. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has turned into an egotistical jerk! Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we used to have the perfect relationship. He used to buy me things, he used to be so nice and considerate, and he would always make me feel special. But recently, it just stopped. He's obsessed ...
A. 8 August 2014: No one deserves to be with someone that awful honestly. The obvious thing to do is break up with him like immediately and move on with your life as if he never existed. He is just showing his true colors now that he's becoming who he always wanted ... (read in full...)
Why are some friends never happy for you? Am I wrong to be hurt by this?
Q. why are some friends not happy when you share good news..? envy? jealousy? nastiness? are they "real" friends at all? I dont mean boasting or bragging.. or being " hey look at my news" just sharing that a happy event has occurred. Or should we nev...
A. 8 August 2014: I think that perhaps your friend doesn't see it as that big a deal like you do and may or may not have been happy for you at the time however, her response was an honest one and reflected what she was feeling at the moment and very well could still ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend is shaming me and my sexual preferences! Am I in the wrong? Have I pushed him too far? Or am I really that disgusting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years - at least 18 months of which have been based on serious long term commitment to each other with the future in mind. We have an average sex life. I have accepted that I am a more...
A. 6 August 2014: The two of you are sexually incompatible. You both want different things. The thing you need to decide right now is whether that is enough to end your 2 year relationship over. If you want to have boring, plain old vanilla sex for the rest of your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't want me to masturbate. How do I handle this?
Q. I am in my early twenties and I am a girl seeing another girl about my age. I do not personally think masturbation is wrong but my girlfriend insists that she does not like the idea of me masturbating although I only do it when we cannot be intimate ...
A. 6 August 2014: I don't see the big deal. She did give you permission to do so but without letting her know so why not just do as she instructed. That is her way of compromising. It's not meant to make you feel guilty. It needs no further discussion as she seems ... (read in full...)
Am I being a bitter twisted step mum?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm being completely pathetic or not about this situation so I think you in advance for any views on this matter I'm married to a man and we have 1 child together we both have 2 older children from previous marriages, my hb was the ...
A. 6 August 2014: Yes he is going a little overboard with this I think. I mean you had to sell some of your stuff on ebay to buy something that most people can just pull cash out of their pockets for. He should have spoken to you about it all (the spending) because ... (read in full...)
Advice for talking to my parents about being bisexual
Q. I am bisexual but dont know how to tell my parents. I dont have a clue what their veiws on the LGBT community are and cant find out because i CANT talk to them about love or relationships or that AT ALL so i dunno what 2 do cuz... yeh. Should i ...
A. 6 August 2014: Euphoric29 is right. It's good to explore and learn to fully understand exactly what you want before coming out. Get support from others who understand what you're going through and all that it entails. For now focus on that. Once you're completely ... (read in full...)
Left me pregnant, got anew catch and texts, he wants to meet
Q. My Ex, who i had been with for 7 years made me pregnant and disappeared without a word. However, he disappeared with the house rent which i had given him to pay and after a while he emailed me.... i will not hear from him or will rarely hear from ...
A. 6 August 2014: You should delete him off all social media that you currently have him on and you should move on with your life. You shouldn't let a man like this interfere with the life that you have managed to build for your daughter and yourself. You must ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's father caught us fooling around and now I'm invited to dinner? I have no idea how to act!
Q. My girlfriend is 16 and we have been dating for 10 months. From day one her dad has hated me, even her mother sys that mainly he just doesn't want to let go of the thought that his "little girl" isn't so little any more. I have always been ...
A. 6 August 2014: Lol I'm sorry to laugh as this is no laughing matter but it's safe to say that you've gotten yourself into quite a situation. By 'fingering' his daughter after being given the specific rule of no touching, you've come off as a disrespectful scum bag ... (read in full...)
My mother doesn't approve of the decisions I make. Should I cut off all contact?
Q. Since I was little, my mom was never good to me. She was wicked with me as a child and constantly put me down. She went through a lot of problems and I guess it was just easier for her to take her anger out on me than the real problems she had. ...
A. 6 August 2014: I think that perhaps you've kept her up to speed with all that is happening in your life a bit too much. If she doesn't know something then she won't feel the need to comment on it now will she? Cutting off all contact will do more harm than good to ... (read in full...)
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